by Lara Norman
He had to stop that train of thought immediately. He had a lecture to give in less than five minutes. He stood and adjusted himself, taking long, slow, deep breaths as he calmed down. He'd come to expect to be in a permanent state of arousal whenever she was around, and now he’d moved into a place of projecting her into all of his fantasies even when she wasn't around.
He walked into class right on time, refusing to let his eyes scan the lecture hall for her. He was tempted, as always, but he couldn't risk it. Someone was bound to notice if he did. He began with recapping the previous lecture and then moving on to the new subject. The more engaged students were receptive and talkative. Most of them participated, but of course, there were the ones that couldn't be bothered to rouse themselves from their stupor. It was an interesting hour, and then it was over and she was leaving. It was hard to watch her walk out the door and not even give him a glance.
He had an hour of downtime between his next classes so he went back to his office and locked the door behind himself. He only had to worry about being available to students during his open office hours but he wanted to be cautious. He tried to work on grading papers, but his mind kept wandering. He realized that the only time Reagan had been completely naked in his presence had been in the darkened hotel room, so of course, his mind wandered to what her body would look like completely bare and in bright light. He’d seen her in her bra and a thong, which was a good place to start. She was pale with no freckles, her eyes a light shade of brown. She had a sweet smile when she was happy, and a hell of a mouth on her when she was pissed.
And there he went imagining them together in more ways than just having sex. He wasn't ready to settle down, and he wasn't sure if or when he would be. He had a ten-year goal planned out and it didn't include a wife or kids. It didn't even include a girlfriend. He wanted to focus on his position there and making his parents proud. It seemed as though all of his life, no matter how many accomplishments he achieved, it wasn't enough for them. He’d starved for attention, and instead, he’d been sent to a private school away from home. He’d been expected to be a lawyer or a doctor, or the worst of all, a career politician like his father. It wasn't what he wanted. He'd grown up with a love for learning because of his childhood nanny, something that was only fostered more in the school he attended where good grades and acing tests gained awards and accolades. He wanted to teach, but not just that; he wanted to emulate the teachers he’d found to be engrossing and that excelled at their jobs. The very idea had appalled his parents, but he couldn't force himself into a career in which he couldn't be happy. Tenure was the highest form of achievement he could attain at his chosen profession, and he was hell-bent on getting there. To finally hear I’m proud of you coming from his father would be the best thing he could hope for. He just knew that if he worked hard enough and earned enough recognition within the University of Maryland that he could finally make that happen.
He had to keep his nose down and away from Reagan. There was no other way around it. The problem with that was that he couldn't even spend five minutes without thinking about her. His mind drifted back to her time and again, and he didn't even know why. He’d had plenty of encounters with women. He liked to wine and dine them and show off a little. It never hurt that he could claim to be a senator's son. That worked every time, like a charm. Women couldn't resist the idea of going home with someone that might have a bit of clout. They loved to imagine they would marry him and get to partake in the wealth that came with being a South Carolina Clark. He made a point of telling them he wasn't interested in marriage, but something about that made them think he was playing hard to get and it turned them on even more.
He'd had rich women, well-connected women, tall and slender, and at least his own age. There’d been a cougar or two, but none had been eighteen-year-old college students. None had been short with such amazing tits and a plump ass he loved to grab and spank. Still, he knew there had to be more about Reagan than her body that was calling to him. He couldn't figure out what that might be, and he was determined to not dwell on it.
He’d tried making friends. Being an Aquarius, it was in his nature to be sociable and to go out with groups of friends. He liked to drink and talk about politics, as long as they didn't center around his father’s career, and he liked to have intellectual conversations that centered around his interests in literature and fine art. That was the reason for going with José to the pizzeria, to enjoy some time outside of his apartment and try to make a friend in the other professor. José wasn't interested in the same things as Hudson, but it was a start, and a person to talk to other than himself. If only he could talk to him about what was truly bothering him.
His break was over and he had to teach his next class. At least Reagan wasn't in that one. He could try to focus on what he was supposed to for a little while, he could give a good lecture about the book that class was reading, and he could pretend to be the person he was before he left the University of South Carolina. Here in Maryland, he was someone he didn't recognize. He did a good job with the last few classes of the day and skipped going back to his office, simply picking his bag up from the lecture hall and leaving. As he walked out into the hall and further to the parking lot, he didn't even notice the other female students. He wasn't suddenly some sex-crazed lunatic that couldn't control himself; the only one living rent-free in his head was Reagan. He was not in his right mind the second he was in her presence, that was all there was to it.
He wasn't sure how he was going to make it for the rest of the term. God forbid if she ended up in his next semester’s class as well. The likelihood was high, as most students had to take his first- and second-semester Literature and Composition to meet their prerequisite. He should find another woman to date to push thoughts of Reagan out of his head, but he knew that wasn't the answer, either. He was determined not to let any woman get in his head and in the way of his future dreams, and trying another one night stand would only complicate the issue further. He was aiming for celibacy for the rest of the year at least so that he could focus and make a good impression.
When he arrived back to his apartment that afternoon, he pulled out the rest of the papers he had to grade and opened a soda while he sat at his kitchen island. The apartment he’d rented sight unseen was nice. He’d viewed it virtually online and spoken to the property manager about what he was looking for over the phone months before he actually had to move. It was furnished, and everything was in a modern and sleek style that he preferred. The kitchen was part of the living room, as apartment kitchens so often were, but he didn't mind. He wasn't planning on doing any entertaining anyway, though he might ask José over at least once in the spirit of friendship. He really ought to think about making more friends than just the one, but his mind would drift back to the idea that friends would cloud his mind and dedication much the way a woman could. He’d curbed much of his drinking, not that he was an alcoholic before, but he’d enjoyed a few beers after work previously. He wanted to be completely focused and dedicated on work and nothing else. He was even thinking of trying to befriend the dean, but he didn't want to come across as a brown-noser.
He was lonely, and that was the worst for someone like him. He needed companionship of some nature, and cutting himself off from the world for the notion that it would make him better at his job was starting to wear on him already. He'd been at UM for six weeks and he was going stir crazy. He shifted through the papers in front of him and found Reagan's, her precise handwriting standing out to him. As usual, she’d done an excellent job at understanding what was asked of her and of explaining the main theme and the undertones of the piece of literature on which the test was focused. He could tell she’d gotten high grades in high school and wondered not for the first time what her major was. He graded her paper quickly and stuck it in the bottom of the pile, pushing her out of his thoughts with a finality he didn't really feel.
Chapter Eight
To help pass the time on the weekends, Reaga
n had been attending Luna’s soccer games. If there wasn't a game, the two women would hang around with Davis, typically at his apartment. It was ideal for Reagan, who still detested her roommate. Lydia was the worst person Reagan could remember meeting, and Luna absolutely agreed after the first time she met her. All Luna had done was walk in the door and Lydia had bitched about Reagan bringing friends back to their dorm when there was no room. Regardless of the fact that Reagan had never brought anybody over before and Lydia had, the bitching commenced for the entire time. Reagan changed her clothes and used the bathroom, and when she came back into the room Lydia was grilling Luna about what year she was and how many times she was expecting to be there. Finally, Luna informed Lydia that she was an RA and would be happy to speak to the one in their hall to mention what a peach Lydia was. Lydia narrowed her eyes but stopped talking, and Reagan and Luna escaped as quickly as they could.
Davis had a two-bedroom apartment a few blocks from the admissions office on campus, which meant it wasn't very far from Reagan's dorm. More and more, she found herself at his place, even when Luna wasn't around. It was still the same easy and friendly relationship they’d first cultivated, but Reagan felt that she was coming to understand Davis better, especially his love for Luna.
“It doesn't matter what I say to try and convince her, she won’t listen.”
“Davis.” Reagan shifted in her seat so that she was looking in his eyes. He was sitting in the chair across from the couch she was sitting on. “She loves you, I promise. There can't be any doubt about that anymore. Seriously. But you and she move in different stratospheres, and it scares her. Surely, she’s explained this to you.”
“She has.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I don't think that’s a reason not to give us a chance, that's all.”
“Look at it this way. What do you consider the worst situation you could find yourself in?”
He laughed. “Being naked in public, I guess. I don't know, why?”
“Imagine that dating Luna is being naked in public every single time you walk out the door. How would you deal with that?”
“I’d stay at arm’s length.” It was said with a sense of understanding and resignation. No matter how many times Luna had attempted to explain it, she would inevitably get emotional and it wouldn't come across in a way that made any sense to Davis. The way Reagan explained it summed it up perfectly.
“So, you see now? She wants to, but it’s hard. She’s focused on studying, and keeping her scholarship, and being an RA. She doesn't have the extra emotional space to worry about a true relationship with you. I don't know for sure, but maybe once you both graduate she'll have less on her plate.”
“Maybe.” Davis felt depressed at having to wait that long. “What about you? Why aren't you dating anyone? I've seen the looks some of the guys around here give you and it’s obvious they find you hot.”
Reagan sighed. It appeared that the tables had turned in her direction whether she liked it or not. “There was one guy, but it’s a really bad idea.”
“What about it is a bad idea?”
Reagan closed her eyes. She wanted to tell someone, wanted the weight off her shoulders for a change. “I didn't know it at the time that we . . . hooked up, but he’s a professor here.”
“Oh. That’s not great, is it?” Davis frowned for a second but he wasn't terribly worried over it. He didn't think the guy was chasing Reagan down or stalking her or anything.
“No. Um, he’s my lit comp professor.”
His brows went up. “So the two of you can't even give it a try.”
“No, and I know he doesn't want to, anyway. He told me to get out the last time I saw him.” She didn't add that it was in his office and not that long ago.
“Damn.” Davis got up and disappeared into the kitchen for a minute. Reagan cocked her head as she heard a drawer open and close and something rattling.
He came back with two pints of ice cream and handed one over with a spoon. Reagan wanted to laugh but didn't quite have it in her. “Thanks.”
“If we’re going to talk boys we might as well have ice cream to go with it.”
“If he were a boy it would be so much easier. He’s forbidden from me.”
“When you put it like that it sounds much juicier. What are you going to do?”
Reagan took the top off of her pint and dug in, swallowing the creamy chocolate ice cream and trying not to cry. “I don’t have a clue. I see him all the time and I want to go to him. Even though he was a dick the last time we were together, I think I understand his point. He would be fired if we were caught.”
Davis opened his own pint of ice cream. “But that makes it all the more tantalizing.”
“For you, maybe.”
“Okay,” he said around a mouthful before he swallowed. “So you wait the year. Or wait, do you have him next term?”
“Yeah, I'm pretty sure I will. I already requested a transfer, but he’s got the only advanced class. I’ll be in it again next semester, so we have the remainder of the school year before we could even consider dating. I don't honestly know if he wants to, though. I think it’s only sex for him.”
“Well, Ray, have you seen yourself?” He indicated hourglass curves.
She laughed, appreciating his bluntness. “Thanks. There's not a line forming behind me or anything, so I can’t even seem to move on. I picture him all the time. I can’t get him out of my head.”
“Join the club, babe. That’s how I feel about Luna. Always there in the back of my mind, no matter what I’m supposed to be doing.”
“Yeah, but you love her. I don’t even really know him. I guess I just lust after him.”
“Probably because you can’t have him. It makes him irresistible.”
“He is irresistible,” Reagan murmured, picturing the beard that Hudson had grown back. His dark red hair was thick and wavy, his coffee-colored eyes mesmerizing. She loved the way he wore blazers every day, whether he had on jeans or slacks. She loved the way he would sometimes take his jacket off in the middle of a lecture and roll his sleeves up. There was something like a collective sigh from the females in the class when he did that. He was tall, and she felt dominated when he was inside her.
“Yo, Reagan.”
Blushing crimson, she snapped her head up. Davis chuckled. “Sorry.”
“Damn, girl, you were deep in fantasy land.”
She groaned. “I can’t help it!”
She didn't stay for that much longer. It was getting close to her curfew so she told Davis she’d see him the next day and headed out. She drove to his place rather than walk the short distance because she often stayed past the time it got dark, especially as night came earlier and earlier. She shivered on her walk back to her building from the parking lot and waved at the RA on her way to her room. She prayed that Lydia would keep her mouth shut and not be the usual pain in the ass. Reagan knew it was a pipe dream, and sure enough, Lydia was on the phone talking loudly when Reagan let herself inside.
Reagan silently set her purse on her bed and shrugged out of her coat, hanging it over the little desk chair. They each had a desk, a chair, a single bed, and a dresser. Reagan had brought plastic stacking drawers for extra storage and a few bins that went under the bed. She found her pajamas and her bathroom bag and left the room to head to the showers. It was the only way she could escape from her roommate after curfew.
She stripped inside the shower stall even though she was alone. There was no way to know when another girl would come in and she was too modest to walk around naked like some of the other girls did. When the water was warm enough she stepped under the spray. One of the things she loved was that the water got super hot quickly, the downside being that the spray was stingy. She soaped up, thinking about what Davis had said about her being hot. She never felt like that was terribly true. She didn't think she was ugly, or anything, but not exactly hot, either. She had great hair and a pretty face, but that was the extent of it as far as she was conce
rned. But when she was with Hudson, he made her feel like the hottest piece of ass he’d ever seen. She loved feeling desired so much. The thought that he couldn't keep his hands off her even when the outcome was so detrimental drove her crazy.
Reagan ran her hands over her breasts as she soaped herself and found her nipples hard. It wasn't cold in the bathroom, and the water was plenty hot. It was thoughts of Hudson that had her beginning to feel turned on. She recalled the third time they'd had sex in the hotel room, the time she kept locked inside her head and never let out. It was so hot, hotter than what they’d done in his office. It was something she could tell he enjoyed, and she wanted the chance to do it again, as long as it was with him. As she pictured it, her fingers roamed down her belly to the tangle of curls between her legs. She had never attempted touching herself at school before. She was positive that someone would walk in and know what she was doing if she got into it in the bathroom. But something about the idea of being caught excited her that night. She needed relief and she couldn't find it anywhere else.
One hand slipped to her clit and began to move in circles. Slowly at first, the other hand playing with her nipple, she began to excite herself. It wasn't as good, as satisfying, as what Hudson could do to her. He had brought her to a level she hadn't known existed and he had done it each time after the first. When her breathing picked up, Reagan moved one hand to the wall to brace herself and pictured Hudson as he pounded into her, picturing the look of rapture on his face as he lost control. He was so regimented in class, but not when they were alone. That was when he let himself go and showed her a world she had only dreamed of before that night. She bit her lip as the feelings overwhelmed her, needing to be silent. The orgasm came over her in slowly building waves, sensations that built and grew until she was gasping and squeezing her thighs together. She imagined Hudson watching her masturbate as the last of the tingles ebbed, and knew it was something she wanted to try with him.