by Vera Quinn
I had that talk with my brother Hawkins, this afternoon, and to say there were some long lulls in the conversation is an understatement. I invited him and Talia to our Fourth of July family barbeque. I know Mom and Dad had already tried to convince him to attend but he hadn’t given his answer yet. I think the conversation we tried having on the phone would go easier in person and the Fourth of July is not that far away. This year I hope we will be celebrating both the Fourth of July and Lyric’s birthday. I want to keep moving forward even if Lyric is not in my future for anything but a friend—it’s time to let this situation go. Hawkins is my brother and I love him. The thought of anything happening to him is not something I even want to think about. It was hurt and stupid pride that has kept this going. Talia is no longer my concern and for Hawkins and me to be able to move on then I will deal with her presence. I don’t want to delve into why I can forgive my brother but not Talia. It seems it would be the other way around but for some reason I’m not there yet. I know I need to see Talia before I get serious with anyone, and if Hawkins and Talia attend the family barbeque that can be accomplished. I say it’s a Fourth of July barbeque, but it’s more like the week. We are in preparation the entire week, because it’s not only family, but the neighbors that are like family to us and that includes Haddie and Nick.
This is the first time that Hawkins and I have been on the outs for this long. It is tearing parents’ hearts out. They want their family whole—not that either of them condone Hawkins and Talia actions—but they love Hawkins as much as they love me. We are both their sons and Dad always says to love someone is to accept their strengths and their weaknesses. He has hammered that in our heads since we were very young.
I have made it to Lyric’s without even realizing I am here. I need to get myself out of my head and pay attention to what is going on in front of me. I reach for the two fried pies and the flowers and get out of my truck. Lyric is waiting on the front porch waiting for me in a summery dress with no shoes on. I walk up the steps and hand her the flowers and pull her close. She has a fresh honeysuckle essence and it smells so good I would love to get lost in it, but I kiss her forehead and step back. “I brought dessert. It’s a couple of my mom’s fried blackberry pies.”
“Thank you for the flowers and fried pies. I only had ice cream for dessert but ice cream over fried pies will be so much better.” Lyric gives me a beautiful smile. “I hope you’re hungry, I fixed enough spaghetti and yeast rolls to feed a small army and I have a fresh green salad for the side. I forgot to ask you what you liked to eat or if you had any allergies or dislikes. I am an awful hostess.” I step closer to Lyric and look down at her.
“Nonsense woman, as long as I’m not having to cook for myself then I’m good. I have no allergies and I was taught growing up to eat what is served to me. If Mom served it up to us, then we ate it even if we drowned it in ketchup.” We both laugh.
“You’re in luck then, I stocked up on ketchup this afternoon.” That makes me laugh more. “Well let’s eat before it gets cold. I have the table set but I guess I need to ask you something first.” We are walking to the front door and she has her hand on the screen door to open but stands still and looks at me. “I wasn’t sure if this was a romantic dinner or friends having dinner because I didn’t put any candles or anything on the table.” I put my hand over hers resting on the screen door.
“Honey, this is whatever kind of dinner we make it. Unless you need the candles and fine dinnerware then we can eat off paper plates and drink out of red plastic cups. I just want to spend some time getting to know you better and I don’t mean the things you have been dealing with for a while—I mean I want to know what kind of ice cream you like to eat and what your favorite color is.” I can’t make it any clearer than that.
“Well for the record, I love rocky road, but I usually buy vanilla and put whatever topping I want on it and my favorite color is green because it reminds me of spring when everything is new and blossoming in the countryside.” I open the door and Lyric walks in with me close behind her. “And you?” We walk through the living room and into the kitchen.
“The ice cream is my mom’s homemade peach ice cream and my favorite color is the deep blue that you have in your eyes. I could get lost for days in that color,” I tell her honestly.
“You are one smooth-talker Botie Hillhouse. I will need to keep my guard up around you.” I know this is flirting between two friends, but I hope Lyric lets her guard down. I see the table that Lyric has set for us is nothing extravagant, but it is very nice. “I’ll get the salad out of the fridge. I have Italian, French, and ranch dressing—I hope one of those is alright.”
“I wouldn’t be a country boy if I didn’t like ranch. I think at home we use ranch for everything,” I tell Lyric.
“I’ll grab the ranch and the ketchup.” Lyric is giving me sass.
“Anything I can do to help?” I ask.
“There’s a pitcher of sweet tea on the cabinet if you want to fill our glasses.” I do just that as Lyric puts the dressing on the table and then goes to the stove and fixes us plates with spaghetti, a roll and salad. She’s very generous on the portions. I sit down in the place she has for me and she sits my plate down in front of me and then puts hers across from me. She then puts a basket of rolls on the table and sits down.
“This smell’s delicious, and my mouth is watering.” Lyric has a shy look on her face.
“It was my dad’s favorite, but my dad said all my food I made was his favorite.” My girl had a great Dad. I just admitted to myself that I want Lyric for my girl.
“You were close to your dad; your face lights up every time you talk about him. My dad and I are close, but I’m close to my mom too.” I see Lyric’s face fall and I know what I said wrong and I could kick my own butt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to lose that smile and I don’t want to let anyone else ruin our night of getting to know each other. I don’t want you to even think of anything or anyone that takes that smile away.” Lyric smiles a little.
“I agree,” Lyric says. “I don’t want you to be on edge of something upsetting me. Mom is just a sore subject. It has nothing to do with you mentioning her it’s just we have never connected on any level.” We are both taking small bites of food and I couldn’t tell you how it tastes to save my life. “I used to watch my friends with their moms and I always wanted that closeness, but my mom and I are just too different—I accept that now—but it still doesn’t stop me from regretting what we never had.” I don’t know what to say to that.
“What’s your favorite memory as a child?” All I knew to do was change the subject.
“The first time my dad took us to our cabin and it was just the two of us with no band members. He taught me how to fish that weekend and how to swim. I was in swimming lessons before, but I didn’t trust my teacher. My dad and I were fishing, and he asked me if I trusted him to always keep me safe. I had no idea what he had in mind, but I knew my dad would always keep me safe. He looked in my eyes and said you can do this, and he picked me up and threw me in the lake above my head, but I was calm because I knew my dad would never let anything hurt me. I struggled with the water for a brief time and then I started doggy paddling and by the time we left that weekend I had caught a couple big fish and I could swim. It was a great weekend.” I can see tears and the memory is one she will always have with her. “I’m sorry, I’m crying like a baby.”
“You never have to hide your tears from me. I like the way you loved your dad,” I tell her honestly. Lyric dries her face.
“Alright, your turn.” I don’t even need to think about it.
“The time my dad took me hunting and I bagged my first big deer. Dad had just given me my first deer rifle and the second time we went out during deer season that year I shot the only deer that day—it was a twelve-point buck. He was a monster. I’ve not gotten one that big since, but I was on top of the world and Dad told me how proud he was of me. It was the perfect day.” I still g
et a warm feeling just talking about that I day. I see I have finished my food and so has Lyric. I don’t remember a bite of it.
“Would you like to take this in the living room and I’ll warm up those pies in just a little while or do you want more or want dessert now?” Lyric is as nervous as I am.
“I am stuffed, and the living room sounds great unless you want me to help clean up in here? I’m a great dish washer and an even better dryer,” I ask with full intentions of helping with the cleanup.
“Well that is very sweet of you, sir, but I just happen to have had a new dishwasher installed yesterday and it is just waiting for its first full load of dishes to wash.” I look towards the sink area and I see a new dishwasher. It’s just a plain white dishwasher and I guess that’s why it didn’t draw my attention to it. I figured if Lyric got new appliances it would be the new stainless steel that everyone goes with these days. My mom didn’t upgrade to one yet, but I figured that the old man had a hand in that. “What, you don’t like it?”
“I guess it’s fine. I don’t know a lot about dishwashers but most people these days go with the stainless steel or knock-offs that look stainless steel.” Lyric looks perplexed but then relaxes.
“I am a comparison shopper. I found the machine that best suits my needs—a smart machine, so I can choose my favorite cycle, has a greater loading flexibility, quieter operation and greater energy-efficiency—and I compared prices of models. The white dishwasher I chose was two hundred cheaper than the stainless-steel ones. All I care about is my kitchen appliances match so while I was doing my comparing I made sure my range and refrigerator were also available and they were. It’s just the other two are having to be brought from the warehouse and will be delivered next week and I saved another few hundred dollars by purchasing them all at the same time and delivery was free.” I am taken by surprise. “What? Surprised I like a bargain?”
“I just…you know…” I am at a loss for words, but I need to be honest. “It’s just that you’re rich.” Lyric laughs.
“Botie, before my dad passed, he took care of everything or the people that ran our house did. I had a small amount in my checking account once I had an identification card and I had a credit card that my dad gave me for emergencies. I didn’t have excess money to use. My dad taught me the value of a dollar. I had an allowance like most teenagers and if I got good grades, kept my room clean, and didn’t get into trouble at school I received fifty dollars a week. I know it was more than normal teenagers get but I also had to pay for my cell phone bill because Dad said no one should expect anything for free. The only exception to the phone bill was if I had roaming charges due to calls to Dad. My dad tried to make sure I didn’t turn into an out-of-control spoiled brat. He also taught me to save money where I can because I may need it down the road but the most important thing he taught me is—you can’t buy happiness with money. It’s not possible and whoever tries it is going to find themselves broke and alone.” I am in awe of this wise woman.
“Your dad was one smart man and that is the same thing my parents have instilled in me. I have worked on our beef ranch ever since I can remember. I have earned everything I have achieved with a good foundation of raising. I want you to meet my parents.” I realize what I’ve said, and I don’t want to scare Lyric away. “I mean, if you want to.”
“Of course, I want to silly. They have a terrific son like you. I am excited about it—I mean if you think they will want to meet me.” Lyric says the last part hesitantly.
“My mom and dad would love it. I might have mentioned you a time or two.” That brings a smile to Lyric’s face.
“You have? What did you say?” I’m not telling her that. “No, never mind, your conversations are private. Let’s see, what else do I want to know?” I take Lyric’s hand and lead her into the living room and I sit down on the couch and pull her down beside me. I bring her into my body for a hug and looking down at her, she looks up at me and I couldn’t have stopped myself if I wanted to. I move my lips towards her and she meets me half way. Her lips are soft and hungry. I deepen the kiss and let my tongue slide across her lips and she opens for me. The first taste of her bursts on my tongue and it’s like a fire was lit inside me. I am a starving man and she is the tasty morsel I want to devour. I pull away but not because I want to, it’s because I don’t want her to feel pressure from me about anything. “What did I do wrong? I’m sorry, I just don’t have very much experience with men.”
“No, it’s not that at all, Lyric. I just need a break. You taste so good and I am very attracted to you. I would like nothing more than to lay you out right here on this sofa and kiss every part of your delicious body, but we are moving too fast. I just need some air and a little distance.” I give the honesty that Lyric deserves. “You deserve better than a quick make-out session on the couch for our first official date.”
“Is that what this is? A first date—as in there will be more dates?” I grin at that.
“Now who is being silly? There will be many more dates and I want you to be my girl—you know as in girlfriend. I know this is fast, but it just feels so right. I don’t know how else to describe this feeling. Is it just me? Do you feel it too?” I need to know the answer. I need to be put out of my misery.
“I feel something, but I am so inexperienced that I don’t know what it is. You are in all my thoughts and if I do something, I want to call you and ask you what you think. Your kisses take my breath away and my body feels like I’m on fire and I want more.” Lyric is blushing. I pull her closer for the next question.
“Lyric, don’t answer me if you don’t want to because I will understand—it’s a very personal question.” I feel Lyric stiffen a little. “Are you a virgin? You keep saying you’re inexperienced; I just want to understand what you mean by that.”
“I’ll answer but I’m going to have questions for you afterwards.” I have no qualms about answering anything Lyric wants to ask. “No, I’m not a virgin but this is my first real date.” I pull away and look at Lyric and I see her cheeks are a dark shade of red, so I pull her close to me.
“You might want to explain that to me,” I say in a low voice.
“I had never been on a date by myself before my dad passed. I turned sixteen the day before his wreck. I always knew I couldn’t date on-on-one until I was sixteen. We went out in groups to the movies, roller skating, or bowling. Most of those times I was with Zane, so it wasn’t a date. I left home nine months after Dad’s passing and I was busy mourning my Dad and in no mood for loud parties and pretending I was having fun. After I was situated with a fake identification, I took off for New York City, but it was the biggest mistake. Some poser want-to-be recognized me from media photos and he pretended to be my friend. One night he roofied me and we had sex. I wasn’t drinking anything but water and I wasn’t doing any kind of drugs so that had to be what happened. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was sick. I made it to the bathroom and vomited for a good thirty to forty minutes. I was as naked as the day I was born, and I had blood smeared on me. I had other fluid still running down my leg and I felt sore down there. I found my clothes and got out of there and back to my motel room. Lincoln never even woke up. I was on a bus out of town and then the state before dawn. I kept changing buses and kept traveling until I was three states away. I took myself to a doctor and had myself tested and made sure I wasn’t pregnant. I was tested every three months for two years to make sure I was clean of any diseases. I know it was overkill on my part, but I wanted to be sure and I still get tested once a year. Lincoln then tried to sell his story everywhere, but he didn’t think to video it or take pictures which was lucky for me. I promised I would never be put in that situation again. I also decided it was time to alter my appearance, so I wouldn’t be as easy to pick out. I had long hair that my dad loved but I cut it close to my ears and cried every time I cut another piece off and then I bleached it.” Lyric sounds sad.