by S. L. Stacy
“Fantastic,” Victoria says, making a note of this in her planner. “Thanks, Tanya. Other Little—social report?”
“We have a very busy first couple of weeks of school. First is our mixer with the Sigma Chis coming up this weekend.” My reminder is met with toothy smiles, squeals of excitement and another flurry of snaps. “And the weekend after that is our annual ‘Find Your Sister a Mister’ blind date dance at the Riverfront Bar and Grill. We have their dining room booked from seven to eleven that Friday. Carly is my co-chair for the event, and she’ll be helping me with purchasing decorations and other logistical issues.” I look over at Carly, and her caramel curls bob in agreement. “It would be nice if we had a committee to help us, though,” I add to Victoria.
“That’s fine. You can make the announcement at Chapter on Sunday. I expect all of you to attend the mixer Saturday night,” Victoria says, sweeping her uncapped ballpoint pen around the room. “Okay, that’s it for today, ladies.”
I look at my phone. It’s six thirty. If I start walking now, I’ll still be a few minutes early for my next meeting with Anna.
“I’m headed back out,” I tell Tanya. Her bronze face hovers in the doorway to our room. “I’ll probably be back around nine.”
“Where ya off to, Twin?” she wants to know. “Off to see Maxwell again?”
“Nope. I’m meeting a friend from high school for coffee.”
“Cool! Have fun!” she tells me before disappearing back into our room. I scamper the rest of the way down the stairs and go out through the back door to avoid the throng of sisters gathered around our television watching a rerun of the Kardashians.
The air outside is a little cooler than it was this afternoon, but it’s not late enough in September to feel that crisp autumn chill I crave. Campus is still bustling with people going to evening classes or to dinner. Our pale brick academic buildings and residence halls cluster a few miles outside of downtown Shadesburg. Shadesburg is a mid-sized city that’s really more like a decoupage of neighborhoods crisscrossed by old railroad tracks and rivers. Thirty years ago steel mills and coal-fired power plants belched toxins into the air and shrouded Shadesburg in a black veil of soot. The mills eventually closed, but expansion of the medical industry, banking, academia and sports revived the local economy. The air is cleaner now, too—or at least it looks cleaner. Our pocket of Shadesburg has a laid back, suburban atmosphere, but unlike Laurel, there’s a lot to do and explore beyond the campus limits. It’s the best of two worlds.
As I approach Starbucks, I see a slender, tan figure already sitting at one of the round umbrella tables outside. She’s looking down at her phone, which makes her long, dark brown hair fall in front of her face, but I know it has to be Anna.
“Anna? Is that you?” I’m relieved that my innately cheerful voice doesn’t betray my apprehension. Anna looks up. She’s wearing black leggings that stop just below the knee and a long turquoise-and-white plaid shirt cinched at her waist with a belt. I’m standing there smiling like I’m on crack, but she maintains a frown, her hazel eyes assessing me coolly.
“I’m missing rehearsal because of this,” she tells me, her tone dripping with animosity. “This’d better be good.”
“It is! I promise,” I reply quickly. “But first, coffee,” I add, starting for the door.
“Right,” Anna says and gets up to follow me. I’ve forgotten, at about five foot nine, how much taller she is than me. She looks slim in her leggings, and her skin has a slight bronze glow without looking artificially tan.
Inside, I order a tall coffee—decaffeinated, because otherwise I’ll be wired all night. Anna orders a chai tea latte with skim milk. I take a moment to dump half and half and sugar into mine. We go back outside to sit down.
“So…how are you?” I ask as she’s taking a sip of her tea. More like: How have you been for the past six years? We barely even see each other let alone speak. As a music education major, she’s usually holed up in the fine arts building, while I’m trapped in one of the undergraduate biology labs plating E. coli. She has voice lessons and auditions; I have my sorority. Sometimes I forget we’re even at the same school. And after what I did to Jimmy, I’m relieved she’s willing to speak to me even six years later.
Anna shrugs. “Things are good. I’m getting through the program pretty quickly. I might be able to graduate a semester early, or fit in a master’s degree.” Another tentative sip. “What about you?”
“Pretty good. I like the Biology department, most days.” I laugh when I add this part at the end, but her face remains serious, so I stop. “I’m social chair for Gamma Lambda Phi now, so I get to plan our mixers and dances and stuff. It’s fun.”
She nods. “Cool. So, about DA?”
So much for catching up. I sigh and fold my hands on the table since I’ve been fiddling with the tassel of my purse in my lap. “I think he’s my World Myths and Legends teaching assistant.”
Anna looks like she’s about to spit out a mouthful of tea. “What?” she manages to choke out after swallowing.
I tell her about the first World Myths class this morning and describe Jasper Hart to her, every detail I can recall before I shut my eyes to try to calm myself down. Of course, I leave out the part about my wings wanting to burst out of my back in response to that intense sweep of panic.
“He reminded me so much of Dark Angel,” I conclude. “I’m like, eighty five percent sure it’s him. I’m just not entirely sure because…”
“Because you’d rather it not be him,” Anna finishes for me. “Because that would be creepy.”
I nod eagerly. “Please, Anna.” I take a deep breath before going on. “I know you have every reason to hate me—and I know you don’t have any good reason to help me. I just…I don’t know why, but this is really bothering me. No, that’s an understatement.” I should stop talking, but suddenly everything is pouring out of me. Anna watches me intently. “When I saw him, I was so scared I wanted to run out of the room. Anna, I—”
Anna holds up her hand to cut me off. “It’s fine, Siobhan. Really. I can understand why you’re scared. That whole thing at the bonfire was just…weird.” She shuts her eyes and shakes her head as if that will erase the memory. “We don’t know why he was there or who he is. What he is,” she corrects herself.
“The next class is Wednesday morning, ten to eleven,” I tell her. “I was thinking you could meet me there and sit in, even if you just stayed for a few minutes. It’s a huge class—no one will know you aren’t enrolled.”
Anna shakes her head. “That’s when my seminar class is. Does he have office hours?”
“Yeah. Tomorrow night, actually,” I recall, surprised that my distracted brain had absorbed any part of Dr. Mars’s lecture. “Seven o’clock, I think, at the library café.”
“I can go then,” Anna says. “You don’t have to if it’s going to be too much for you. I can text you what I think.”
“I’ll meet you there,” I insist. “If it is him and he’s going to be my TA, I have to get over this at some point—”
We both jump when her phone starts buzzing on the table. She picks it up and taps the screen.
“It’s a text from Jimmy,” she mutters, then glances up as if she’s anticipating some big reaction from me. It’s usually painful for me to think about Jimmy—it causes a desperate ache inside of me that awakens my wings—but I remind myself to relax because I’m not alone.
“How is he?” I ask her, keeping my voice steady.
“Jimmy’s…Jimmy,” Anna sighs. “He’s trying to make it with his band and bartending on the side.”
“That’s great!” I exclaim. Anna raises her eyebrows doubtfully. “He plays, like, every instrument that was ever invented, and he has that beautiful baritone voice. He’s still following his passion. I think that’s incredible.” As soon as the words fly out of my mouth, I wish I could swallow them back up. I hope I didn’t offend Anna since she chose the more practical road rather than the lif
e of the struggling performer.
But Anna just shrugs. “I don’t know about that. They do okay in the city, but I don’t think it’s going anywhere big. I keep telling him he should have something to fall back on. He’s a smart guy—he should go to college, get a degree and grow up. But he’s so damn stubborn.” She’s texting him back while she rants. I can’t help but wonder if she’s telling him she’s with me. “His band literally consumes him. I feel bad for any girl he dates. He never puts anyone before his band, except maybe Mom. Sometimes me.
“Anyway, it’s almost eight thirty,” she announces. “I need to get going. You live at the sorority house, right? Do you want a ride back?”
“Um, sure, if it’s not too much out of your way.” I run my fingers through my hair to get the strays out of my face and slip my purse over my shoulder. “Where do you live?”
“In an off-campus house with Jimmy and two of his bandmates.”
“That’s cozy,” I reply even though I’m grimacing.
“Nope, the expression on your face just about covers it,” Anna says, and for the first time tonight she’s laughing and giving me a genuine smile, looking more like the Anna I used to know—Anna, my best friend. “It’s a decent place, though, and the rent is cheaper than anything on campus, although Jimmy and I usually end up paying most of it.” She takes her car keys out of her purse, and we stand and make our way to a banana yellow pickup truck.
Minutes later, we’re idling in front of the sorority house.
“Thanks for the ride,” I tell her. I hop out of the car and shut the door.
“Siobhan!” I hear her calling out to me as the passenger’s side window slides down. “It was… nice seeing you today.”
I hesitate for an instant, her words catching me off guard. I decide on a simple, “You, too. See you tomorrow.”
“See you!” The car window rolls back up, and she peels away from the curb. I look up to see a tall, lanky girl approaching the house from the direction of campus. She has skin the color of coffee and cream, and tightly woven cornrows crisscross her scalp and ripple down her shoulders like black ropes.
“Liz. Hey, Liz!” I yell when she doesn’t look up right away.
She starts and finally looks my way. “Oh. Hey, Siobhan!” Her voice is cheerful, but her expression is strange. Her almond-shaped brown eyes are slightly glazed over.
“Everything okay? Hey, you missed our board meeting!” I remember suddenly. “We tried to text you. Where were you?”
“Oh, shoot!” She smacks her forehead with the palm of her hand. “I went to office hours after my last class to get to know the professor. It totally slipped my mind.” We’re at the door to the house now, and I take my card key out of my pocket and swipe it through the lock. “Victoria’s going to kill me!” she adds with a groan.
I’m about to reassure her, but then I shrug. “Probably.”
“So how was your day?” she asks me.
Weird, I want to say. “Not bad.”
“Cool, cool. God, I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten dinner yet,” she says almost to herself as she heads into the kitchen.
When I go upstairs, Tanya’s not in our room. I ease the door shut and change into some pajamas. The practice problems we’re supposed to do before lab tomorrow take me longer than I thought they would. My head hits the pillow at midnight.
Chapter 4
“My love.”
I feel his warm breath on my ear as he encircles his arms around me. I tilt my head back to accept a long, luxurious kiss from him. Like snow clinging to shaggy evergreens, his broad wings form a feathery white curtain around us. His hands slide up my waist to cup my breasts. I moan against his mouth and curl my fingers into his dark hair. They come up wet, and my lips hesitate as I pull back and open my eyes. Scarlet liquid pools on the pads of my fingers. I look up in confusion…
…and blanch at the sight of his beautiful white wings, which are now black as night and dripping blood onto the pale gold sheets.
“What’s wrong?” he asks me, puzzled. I open my mouth in a silent scream…
I awake with a jolt, sitting up, my heart pounding so loudly in my chest I wonder if it could wake Tanya up. But when I look over, I see a peacefully rising and falling lump under her hot pink bedspread, a fan of platinum blonde hair splayed on the pillow. Grayish light peaks between the lacey yellow curtains on the window above her bed.
I look at my phone. It’s only six o’clock. Lab isn’t until one, so I could sleep in, but I’ll probably just return to my nightmare. Is every night’s sleep destined to be a mixture of erotic bliss and anguish now that I know he’s here?
Tiptoeing out of bed, I throw on black spandex shorts and a purple nylon shirt. A cool, serene gray morning greets me outside—perfect for a morning run. The fresh, crisp air washing over my skin erases the dream’s residue, a trail of slime in the back of my mind. I return to the sorority house sweaty but invigorated, ready to face the day and tonight’s mission. I’m going to get up early and go for a run every morning. I know that this is never going to happen—as the semester gets busier, they will turn into sporadic, whenever-I-can-fit-them-in jogs—but it’s a nice thought.
I shower and change again into my least favorite pair of jeans and a t-shirt I wouldn’t mind sacrificing for the sake of science. To my surprise, the day flies by, and at five I realize that I haven’t thought about Jasper Hart all day. I only remember when I get a text from Anna:
Are we still on for 7?
Yes! I quickly text back, sighing at the reminder of our mission. Fingers crossed, after this evening I will know whether Jasper Hart and Dark Angel are one-and-the-same, and whether or not I’ll be able to survive having him as my TA without breaking down at every lecture. Will he recognize us?
I place a frozen eggplant parmesan in the microwave downstairs for dinner. While it’s warming up, I change yet again, this time into my form-fitting khaki dress and dusty purple flats.
“Going out?” Victoria’s pulling a box of pasta out of the cupboard as I walk back into the kitchen. I pause while the microwave gives one, prolonged strident beep before replying.
“Not really, just office hours for my history class.”
“Already? How over-achiever of you.”
I shrug, but someone stomping into the kitchen saves me from having to elaborate. Anything more would be a lie—and I don’t want to lie to my big sister. Tanya jerks open the fridge in a huff, takes out a bottle of diet Pepsi and slams it shut.
“You okay?” I ask, at the same time popping open the microwave door. Inside my eggplant parmesan is ready for me, all sizzling and gooey. I pinch the hot sides of the tray with my fingers, quickly remove it and set it on the counter to cool off.
“No.” She twists the cap of the bottle, and it opens with a hiss. “I was late meeting up to pass out fliers for rush and got a lecture from that bitch on Panhel.”
“Which one?” I ask her, ignoring Victoria’s reprimanding glare. Panhellenic Council is the governing body that oversees all of the sororities on campus.
“Samantha Carson. She’s an Alpha Rho. Of course. She lectured me about punctuality and the value of other people’s time. Like I’m in freaking elementary school. I could just…strangle that stupid dyke!” Tanya’s squeezing her bottle so hard I’m waiting for pop to go shooting out of it. In her fit of rage she doesn’t see Victoria roll her eyes. The look our big sister gives me seems to say, And you wonder why I haven’t told her?
“I was five minutes late. God.” Tanya keeps muttering to herself on the way out the door.
“Maybe you need a lecture on how to stop being such a whiny brat,” Victoria says under her breath, which makes me burst out laughing through a mouthful of sticky eggplant.
My heart is already hammering in my chest on the walk over to the library, but I take periodic deep breaths to keep my twitchy wings at bay. Anna waits for me outside the entrance. She’s wearing skinny jeans and another plaid blouse. A pair of gigantic b
lack-framed glasses perch on her nose.
“I didn’t know you needed glasses,” I say. It’s another change, albeit a small one—just another thing I don’t know about the new Anna.
“I don’t. I just think they look cool,” she admits. “Are you ready for this?”
No.
“Let’s go.” I step into the revolving door.
We bypass the first floor computer lab and enter the café. There’s a long line of students waiting to place pastry, coffee and Red Bull orders. Many of the round red and orange tables have been claimed. Against the back wall three tables are pushed together to seat a group of ten. As we creep closer, we read the tent sign that has been placed on the center table: History 201 World Myths and Legends.
“That’s him, isn’t it?” Anna whispers to me, although we’re still far enough away that no one would hear her anyway. “The guy with the longish hair whose back is turned? It seems like it could be him, but I need to see his face. We’re going to have to join them.”
I nod reluctantly and shadow her purposeful stride up to the group, which I now see consists mostly of girls dressed for date night rather than office hours. There’s also a sprinkling of hipsters, the dominant stereotype in the school of humanities. A few people notice our approach and nod or wave in our direction, which prompts Jasper to stop talking and turn around.
My heart jackhammers in my chest.
“Welcome, ladies,” he says, gesturing to two empty seats on the side opposite him. “We were just discussing the structure of the course.”
No sign of recognition crosses his face. My heart rate slows to a quieter but still insistent knock. I don’t look over at Anna because I’m afraid my face will give everything away, but now that I’m so close to him I know for sure it’s him. He’s wearing a suit without a tie; instead, the first few buttons of his white shirt are undone, giving him an air of carefree elegance.
“You may introduce yourselves if you like,” he continues. “You know—name, major, hometown.”