by Sam Crescent
“I want to remember, Preacher. I’m tired of being this no one.” She swiped at the tears. “Do you have any idea what it’s like? I’m nothing.” She laughed. “Did my dad tell you I went to the cemetery while you were gone?”
“Why?”
“To see my mom.”
“Oh,” he said. Bear hadn’t gotten around to telling him that little detail.
“Yeah, I know. There’s so much I don’t know. I feel like I’m lost all the time. People smile or avoid me. It’s like there’s this black cloud everyone else knows and I don’t get to have access to it. It sucks, big time.” She rubbed at her temple. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.”
“I can’t help it. You deserve someone who isn’t broken.”
He took the cup from her hands and held them, forcing her to look at him. “You’re not broken.”
“Preacher, I don’t even remember our first time. That nursery upstairs means nothing to me. I walk around lost. You look at me and you know me. I don’t know you. There’s so much I don’t understand.”
“I love you,” he said. “That’s all I know. Our life wasn’t simple and easy. There are moments I wish I could join you in not knowing. You want to remember. I can tell you there’s no peace in knowing what I do.” He stroked her cheek. “I’m so glad you’re here with me. Knowing or not, I wouldn’t trade you for the world. You’re everything.”
“Really?”
“Yes, and you can’t doubt me, not ever. I know what I’m talking about.”
She laughed, wrapping her arms around him. “I love you too.”
He held on to her words. They weren’t heartfelt, but he hoped one day, they would be.
“When it comes to your mother, forget about her, okay? Trust in me and your father to know we’re doing the right thing.”
She held on to him tightly as he pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you. Please, Preacher, don’t ever let me go.”
“Not a chance.” He’d waited far too long for her. There was nothing that would make him leave.
****
Robin placed the latest science book on the shelf. She looked at her cart and saw next was space.
Putting books back in place at the library was a calming process. Right now, she needed calm in her life. Between the bad dreams and her upcoming birthday, her nerves were shot.
Her hands shook without any reason at all. She didn’t know what was going on with her. Every little detail of her life seemed to make her crack.
With the cart empty, she walked back to the front desk and served two children who were patiently waiting.
Once their books were scanned, she watched them leave. A yearning twisted inside her. Kids and babies seemed to do that to her, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with the nursery. Whenever Preacher left, and she had a short time to herself, which wasn’t often, she’d go and sit in the nursery, staring at his artwork.
The chair was unfamiliar. The room itself didn’t speak to her in any way.
One of the stuffed unicorn toys still had the tags on, and she’d sit in the chair, holding the unicorn, begging to know what was going to happen.
“You seem quieter than usual,” Anne said.
Anne was a middle-aged woman with three kids in school. She worked full-time at the library. From the rumors Robin had been hearing, her husband was having an affair with one of the other parents, but no one told Anne that.
“Sorry, just got a lot on my mind.”
“Anything you wish to share?” Anne asked. “You know, the whole a problem shared.”
Robin chuckled. “Yeah, I remember that.” She was starting to feel increasingly bitter about what she did know. She released a breath.
Anne held her hands up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s fine. You know, just … trying to figure everything out.”
“You’re way too young to attempt to figure anything out.”
“Do … never mind.”
“What is it?” Anne asked. “We’re having a bit of a lull in here and I could use the distraction from them over there who think it’s okay to talk about my husband’s affair.”
Robin’s mouth dropped open. She looked from Anne to the women who spent a great deal of time gossiping.
“You think I didn’t know?”
“I don’t know what to think.”
Anne shrugged. “My and my husband’s life is private. I don’t need people poking fun at my expense. Let me see if I can help you.”
“It’s not a lot. I was wondering if you knew me … before.”
“If I knew you before you were kidnapped?”
“Yes, if that is what I was.”
“Rumor has it you were taken against your will. So I guess, kidnapped.”
“Right, of course.” She was starting to get a headache.
“I’m older than you, so we weren’t exactly friends or anything. You were a good kid, considering your parents, or should I say your mother.”
“You knew my mother?”
“I knew a great deal of your mother. Rebecca wasn’t a nice woman. She certainly wasn’t the mothering kind. The fact you turned out nice was a miracle. I never thought you should have spent all that time hanging out with the Bishop kid. He was always bad news, and you could have done so much better.”
“Bishop, right?”
“You and Bishop never seemed together. I mean, you must have been for you to be pregnant with his kid and married.”
This was certainly an information overload.
“When I heard you lost the baby, I wanted to come and visit you, but it didn’t seem right. We were never close.”
“Thank you, anyway.”
“You don’t remember any of this?”
“A complete blank. It’s nice to know I was a good person at least.”
“You really were.”
Robin tucked her hair behind her ear, feeling a little uncomfortable. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why do you stay with him?” Robin asked. “I know it’s completely impolite, me saying anything but, I just had to wonder why you put up with him if he cheats on you.”
Anne nibbled her lip. “It makes no sense, does it?”
“I don’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m not upset. My husband … what can I say? I haven’t loved him in so long.” She shrugged. “There’s not a whole lot of reasons I can give, really. This isn’t the first time he’s cheated, and it won’t be the last. I no longer even care for his excuses.”
“But you’re still with him. Do you love him?”
“When I married him, I did, not anymore. I stay with him for the kids. We’re a family and it’s tough.” Anne held her hands up. “What can I do?”
“Do you … see other people?”
“Me? No.”
“Why not?” Robin asked. “Ugh, forget I asked anything. It doesn’t matter. It’s your life and I shouldn’t be talking like that.”
Anne laughed. “It hasn’t come up. No one has asked me and I guess I don’t like the idea of stepping out on my husband. It’s complicated.”
Robin was going to ask her another question but they were both pulled away as the gossiping women wanted attention, as did a couple of kids.
With new returns being added to the cart, Robin was on return duty. She had no problem walking all around the library, returning books. It meant she didn’t have to talk.
Hearing Anne’s story, it did make her wonder though.
Bear had been lonely and he was only a few years older than Anne. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to bring the two people together. There was no opportunity to ask for the rest of the day, but she made a note to talk to her father.
By the end of the day, she was tried and there was no sign of Bear or her father, so she started to walk through town, toward her home. She came to the park and stopped again to watch the kids. They were all having fun, playing on swings.
“You know, that used to be us,” Bishop said, coming to her side.
“Bishop,” she said.
She hadn’t seen him since the disaster at the bar. Preacher wanted him, she didn’t know for what, but seeing him now, a part of her knew it wasn’t good.
“Hello, Robin,” Bishop said.
He looked a mess. Pale, gaunt, dirty.
“What are you doing here?”
He laughed. “Because my dad is after me, you mean? I’m sure he’s been alerted to my presence. To be honest, I don’t even know why he hasn’t caught me. Clearly, I’m not that important.”
“Don’t say stuff like that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth. When it comes to my dad, I’ve never been important. I’ve always been Preacher’s boy. I’m not a problem for him. I’m not a huge priority. Not like Reaper.”
“Reaper?”
“Ah, you know him? Has your memory come back? It seems only assholes and monsters get a taste of you, isn’t it, Robin? I wasn’t mean enough to you, was I?” he asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I could have been good to you. One day, you’re going to remember and you’re going to regret everything.” He glared at her. “See you around.”
He spoke in riddles but before she could say anything, Bishop took off at the unmistakable sound of a bike heading in their direction.
What the hell was that about?
****
“I’ve told you everything. He was speaking in riddles.”
Preacher watched Robin. She looked nervous, but he didn’t think she was lying.
Bear sat beside her.
He’d gotten the call from Cheeky about sighting Bishop. Preacher had told him not to let him out of his sight, but his son was long gone by the time he got there. He should’ve let Cheeky grab him, but he’d been dealing with issues forming within the club.
Grave had decided he was abusing his power as the president of the club and wanted to vote on his ability to continue to lead.
In all the years he’d been president of the Twisted Monsters MC, he’d never had a member believe he wasn’t capable. Knowing the doubt was there pissed him off, and his anger consumed every single part of his body.
“Why are you treating me like I’ve done something wrong?” Robin asked.
“You were at the park?”
“Yes. I’d finished work and went to the park because no one was there to pick me up. Why is that such a shock to everyone? I don’t know what the hell is going on with any of this.” She got to her feet. “Can I go for a shower now?”
“Go,” Preacher said.
“Her attitude is getting worse.”
“She’s angry. She’s confused. We’re pushing her too hard.”
“What do you think Bishop’s playing?” Bear asked. “He’s your son. You know him better than me.”
Preacher laughed. “Yeah, the irony is, Robin knows him better than anyone. She would always be able to get inside his head and know what he’d do. I only know he fucked around, lacked responsibility, and was pissed at me for taking his girl.” He sat down at the table. “I don’t have time for this shit.”
“You’re going to fight Grave?”
“I’m going to put him in the ground if I have to.”
“Do you think he has a point?”
“Are you taking Grave’s side now?” Preacher asked.
Bear ran a hand over his face. “You’re distracted. All you can think about is Robin and Reaper, and I don’t blame you. I’ve seen the ink at the base of her back. I’ve heard everything you’ve told me. I get the fear you don’t want to talk about. Between Dog, Reaper, Bishop, and favors, you’ve been spreading the boys thin. You’re not being Preacher. You’re not balancing shit out. The boys have a right to be concerned.”
“Are you?”
“No, I know when you need to make the tough decisions, you’ll do exactly that. You kill, you fuck, and you make things good again. It’s what you do. Right now, they only see you getting screwed and in doing so, they’re being screwed. I’ve got to see it from their side as well.”
Preacher looked at one of his oldest friends. There was a time he’d have put Grave in the ground for even hinting at a vote to overthrow him. The club belonged to him.
The only way they were ever going to get rid of him was to put him in the ground.
He didn’t fucking want that.
Bear looked toward the door. “The club is your life, Preacher. I get it. I even understand it. You think I don’t know that myself? But … I’ve got to consider my girl. I can’t have you dying on me. Not yet.”
Preacher laughed. “You want me to schedule my death for you? Would it make you feel better?”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“She needs you, Preacher. Regardless of what the ink and all of your feelings are saying.”
“Oh, you think because I have a hunch she fell in love with Reaper, I shouldn’t be pissed?” Preacher said, finally voicing one of his concerns.
Bear winced. “You’re going to have to work on your tact. Right now, you sound pissed.”
“I am pissed. Reaper’s winning and there’s no way in hell that son of a bitch gets one over on me. Not now. Not ever. Twisted Monsters is mine. Grave wants to try and take that from me, he can be my guest, but believe me, I won’t go without a fight.” Preacher got to his feet. “You good to keep an eye on her?”
“She’s my kid. Of course I am.”
“Good.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to go and pay a man a visit.”
Preacher left his home. He got on his bike and took off, heading toward his clubhouse. The ride didn’t appease the monster in his bones. He knew he’d been a bad president to the boys.
Shit needed to be done and rather than consider them, he’d just done what he felt was necessary, without a single care to anyone else. He acted selfishly, and that was just the way he’d always been.
Parking his bike, he saw several of the club men standing around a fire burning inside a metal bin.
“Yo, Preach, what are you doing here, man?” Rider asked.
He ignored them and went straight inside.
The moment he stood in the main clubroom, he saw Grave getting his dick sucked. Stepping up to the man who would dare to question his authority, he grabbed Grave’s head and slammed it against the table.
“What the fuck!”
Screams filled the air.
Music was turned off, but Preacher didn’t stop in his attack.
He grabbed Grave and dragged him out of the club. The man was big but Preacher hadn’t gotten where he was by being lazy.
Hell no.
Preacher always made sure he was the biggest, strongest, meanest motherfucker in the club. He wasn’t the kind of guy to get lazy.
When they were outside, he let him go.
“Preacher, what the fuck?” Grave asked.
His men started to approach, but Preacher ignored it all.
“You think to have a vote to overthrow me? I don’t wait for that shit. You got a problem, you deal with me now. You don’t want to start squealing shit behind my back. You do it now, right here. Right now.”
“You’re fucking crazy.”
Preacher hit him, three times.
Grave shoved him hard, but Preacher didn’t move.
“You have no right to the club. You’ve got us playing babysitter to your little slut.”
The moment Grave called Robin a slut, Preacher lost it. He grabbed the man around the throat, slamming him to the ground, choking him.
“You think you can do better than me? You can’t even keep your wits about you when your dick is getting sucked. The first thing you need to know is that as president, always be prepared. No matter where your dick is, you got to be able to kill. To hunt.” He didn’t let him go, relishing the sounds of Grave fighting him.
Finally, he let him go,
and Grave collapsed to the ground, gasping.
Drawing his foot up, he slammed it on the man’s back and then took a step back. He turned, looking at all the men.
“You’re right, I’ve been using the club to get back at Reaper. Robin is mine. She will always belong to me, but I’ve also been working to save our reputation. A piece of shit like Reaper took one of our kids. Don’t look at this as her being my woman, or just another piece of pussy. Robin Rose Riley, that was her name. She’s Bear’s little girl and was taken right out from under our fucking noses. For two years she was gone. We couldn’t get her, and on top of that, when she does finally come to us, she’s inked and without her memory. We didn’t even fucking find her. She was taken to one of the hospitals where Randall worked.”
He looked at all of his men. “If you want to think this is about me being pissed because of my little girlfriend being used as a pawn, you’re fucking wrong. I’m working to repair the damage Reaper has placed on us. You think the docks is the only concern we’ve got?”
He waited, allowing his words to sink in. “The clubs, our businesses, everything with our patch and our mark could become a target because we look weak. You want to take me on, be my guest. Let me warn you, when I took this club on, I was all in. This club is my fucking life and I’m not going to be overthrown. You’re going to have to kill me. I will be six feet under. But before you make that final decision, let me ask you…”
He gave them time, looking at each man in turn. “Can you handle what will come after me? You think you know everything this club faces, you know nothing. Take me on, and let me show you just how fucking cruel this world really is.”
He knelt down toward Grave. “If you want the patch, earn it.”
With that, he got to his feet and walked away.
No one followed him. No one attacked.
Grave would make his decision, and when it was done, Preacher would have a public apology from the asshole.
****
“I heard through the grapevine Bishop approached Robin,” Trick said.
Reaper turned to Trick and waited for more. The ink on his chest was getting a touch-up, and a name was being added. “Bishop still lives?”
“Yes. He was gone before Preacher could get to him.”
“Not like my friend to let his son slip through his fingers. He must be getting sloppy in his older years.”