by G. Bailey
Joshua looks between Rory and me before answering. “Yeah. She really took a shine to you last week. I don’t think I ever heard her laugh with Miss Hector.”
My cheeks heat up and I smile at him. “Well, what can I say? I’m better than most girls.”
We laugh, recalling how Joshua had said those exact words to me when I shot him down. A silence stretches between us and it’s surprisingly comfortable. Rory takes us to the German bakery just like he did last week, and I watch Joshua collect the same white box before we make our way to Maritime Care Home.
When we arrive at the reception desk, the girl who’s totally crushing on Joshua swoons all over again. The poor girl nearly falls off her seat when she swings around to grab a piece of paper for him to fill out.
“What about today, Sylvia, how’s the love of my life?” he asks her, taking the paper and quickly scribbling down his details.
“Bibi is doing great, Josh. She played bingo again yesterday.”
“Did she win this time?”
“No, but Elsie did and Bibi wasn’t too happy about that.”
Joshua slides the paper across the desk. “I’m surprised she hasn’t pushed the old bat out of her chair.”
The receptionist giggles. “Josh! How could you say such a thing?”
I roll my eyes and clear my throat. Joshua winks at the girl, then puts his hand on the small of my back and guides me down the corridor to Bibi’s room.
The routine is pretty much the same as last week, except Joshua announces himself as Tyler this time, and that makes things go so much smoother. I’m immediately introduced as Tyler’s new wife and Bibi is ecstatic to meet me. We light the candles on her cake, Bibi blows them out, opens her card, and once more shows me her hilarious personality that begins to hurt my stomach from all the laughing.
Each time she forgets something or starts to freak out, Joshua remains so patient with her and helps to calm her down. It’s sweet to watch but also crushing, because the more I spend time with him, the less I want to hurt him. Even if he did do something terrible, does that really mean he should die? Who’ll visit Bibi in his absence? I imagine it’ll really affect with her routine and mental health. I can’t help but feel guilty.
As I watch them laughing and smiling lovingly at each other, my heart aches.
This is why my mother always taught me that love is only a weakness.
Joshua catches me frowning and comes over to me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I wipe my eyes and smile up at him. “It’s just nice to watch you two together.”
I’m not sure he buys it, judging by the sceptical look on his face.
But Bibi distracts him by offering us one of her precious shells. Joshua said last week that Bibi never gives these away. I clutch mine in the palm of my hand, touched by her kindness.
When it’s time to go, I wait until we’re back in the car before giving Joshua my heart-shaped shell. He almost hesitates to take it back, but we both know the six shells are part of Bibi’s routine, so he tucks them carefully into his pocket.
“Would you like me to come with you again next Sunday?”
Joshua freezes at my question. He then turns in his seat to look at me. “You mean, you want to come with me?”
I shrug. “I like Bibi. She’s the kind of grandma I wish I had.”
“What was your grandma like?”
Now it’s me who freezes. I had only one grandparent, on my mother’s side, and she was more evil than my mother. I was relieved when she died of a heart-attack when I was ten. She actually died in a public bathroom, which was funny to me because she always said they were for peasants.
“I don’t remember,” I lie to him, since lying comes so naturally to me. “She died when I was young.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“We weren’t close. Anyway, I’ll come with you on Sunday, on one condition.”
Joshua quirks an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Tonight you’ll hang out with me.”
The car stalls, jerking us forward in our seats. Rory glances in the mirror at me and there’s something dark about his expression. I can’t quite read it. But it tells me I’ll have to somehow sneak out later.
“Look, babygirl, if you want me to get naked, you only have to—”
“We’re not fucking.”
He sulks like a child. “Aww, no fun, babygirl.” After a moment, he asks, “Well, if we ain’t Netflix and chilling, what are we gonna be doing?”
“Amazon Prime and chilling?” I offer tightly, trying not to laugh.
In reality, I merely want to find out his sin. I spent all day distracted by his grandmother that I never paid much attention to anything else.
“Okay,” Joshua says at last. “I’ll hang out and protect you from the killer that’s on the loose.”
He laughs, but for once I don’t copy him. If only he knew that the killer is me…
Later that night, I put on a sexy black dress, grab the bottle of wine I got off Charlie, followed by the bag of snacks, and open my room door. As expected, Rory is standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, a look of disapproval on his rugged face.
“Come on, Rory. Please?”
“Nope.”
Just one word and my excitement plummets into anger.
“Why not?”
“It’s the rules. You’re not allowed out past curfew and you’re especially not allowed in the boy’s dormitory.”
“Who said I was going there?” I argue, but I can tell he’s not going to budge. “Fine.”
I slam my door and lock it. I doubt there are any ridges outside that I can use to climb but it’s worth a shot. I shove the wine into a bag that I sling over my shoulder, then I throw back the curtains and climb out the window. I was right that there are no ridges connecting the dormitories here. Damn that Mrs Beach. Fortunately, however, I’m used to scaling buildings, and I’m wearing my comfiest trainers that work in my favour. Ethan must have climbed this way somehow, so I know it’s possible.
Carefully, I walk along the ledge, my curled hair swaying in the soft breeze. I hold my breath as I walk past the first window. The next one has their curtains pulled over, which is a relief, and by the fourth window, I think I’ve reached the boy’s dormitory because I can smell weed mingled with sweaty socks. I don’t catch a glimpse of Joshua in any of the rooms, so I keep going until I find a window that’s already open.
Towards the corner of this part of the castle, I finally find a room with their window wide open. My legs shake a little as I bend down to climb inside. I step onto a messy desk littered with books and school work, and there’s a boy lying in bed under the covers. He startles when I jump off his desk and I hear him kick off his blankets as I rush over to the door.
“Don’t mind me,” I tell him quickly. “Go back to sleep. This is just a dream.”
“Regan?”
“Joshua?”
I turn back around only to see Joshua lying in bed with a comic book in his hand.
No. Fucking. Way.
What were the chances of climbing into his room, of all rooms?
It’s obviously a fluke but I don’t say that. “Of course it’s me,” I answer instead. “I was just making sure the door’s locked.” I jolt the handle before turning back to him. “Looks like we’re good to go, babe. I brought wine and snacks.”
He throws his legs over the side of the bed, looking between me and the window.
“Did you just—”
“Climb over the ledge to get here? Yes. Yes I did.”
“That takes skill,” he says, pushing off his bed. “I was gonna come to you, you know.”
I already gathered that but I didn’t want another repeat of Ethan in my room, so I decided to seek him out first. I walk over and throw my bag onto the bed.
“I brought wine and snacks. Do you have any movies we can watch?”
A naughty grin lights up his face. “I have Netflix.”
“
Have you ever seen How To Get Away With Homicide?”
He nods. “One of my favourite shows.”
I mirror his grin and climb onto his bed. “Then let’s watch that.”
Joshua leans over to grab his laptop off his nightstand. “You’re a weird one, you know that?”
“Babe, you have no idea idea.”
I watch him type his password—BibiNKay—and I wonder if Kay is his little brother. He didn’t seem eager to talk about him or his parents before. That tells me his sin is to do with them. But what did he do? He clearly loves his grandmother and I can’t see him capable of intentionally hurting any of his family.
After Joshua sets up Netflix, and we pour some wine into plastic cups, I lean back against his wall and randomly kick off my interrogation. No point in beating around the bush when the clock is ticking. I have questions that urgently need answers.
“Do you ever see your little brother, Josh?”
The blood drains from his face. “Not as much as I want to.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s just how it goes sometimes.” He gulps the last of his drink, his hands balling into fists on his lap.
“How does it go?” I question.
“He asks a lot of questions, just like you. Did you really come here to question me like some kind of cop?”
“No, I’m here because I like you. If that wasn’t clear.”
“You like me, babygirl?”
“Sometimes,” I drag the word out.
“Then why the fuck are we bothering with Netflix?” He grabs my legs and yanks me forward, pushing me down onto his bed. The effort drags an unexpected gasp from me, and I look up at his huge body towering over, so powerful, so fucking hot. “Just let me make you feel good, babygirl. We both know you want it.”
The words cause my breath to catch in my throat, and I bite my bottom lip, pleased by his perceptiveness. I do want it and that’s why I hate myself so much. But I also want to feel the warmth of another body pressed against my own. His body. I do something that startles even me: I reach out and grab his t-shirt, dragging him down so that I can claim his lips in a deep, passionate kiss. A growl rumbles in the back of his throat and he fists his hand into my hair, snapping my head back, but my lips are still pressed to his, and the way he kisses me snatches the air out of my lungs.
“Fuck, you’re so sexy,” he murmurs against my lips. “You’re also a pain in the fucking ass.”
I bite his bottom lip and gently lay my head back against the mattress. “So what are you going to do about it? Punish me like you threatened to before?”
“Threatened? Who said anything about threatening to punish you?” He straightens and unhooks his belt from his jeans, the movement whistling as he drags it through the loops. “Roll on to your stomach.”
Curious now, I do as he says and roll over. His hands find purchase on my thighs and he runs his fingers down to the bottom of my dress. With an unceremonious yank, he pulls my dress up to expose my behind.
“No panties. Nice,” he regards softly, kneading one of my cheeks with his big hand. “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you that day in classroom with Miss Hector.”
A sharp spank connects with my flesh, and the pain is searing. “Then why don’t you get on with it?” I gasp out, writhing in an attempt to entice him to fuck me with his cock already. “No more talking.”
Joshua chuckles, and I feel him shuffle backwards. “Ten spanks should do…for now.”
This time, he uses his belt instead of his palm and it’s three times more painful. Each time he strikes me, he caresses where he struck. By the tenth spank, I let out a protest.
“Please…”
He stops. “Please what?”
“Please…fuck me,” I beg, craning my neck to look up at him.
The belt falls from his hand, and in an instant, he turns me over onto my back. One of his hands seizes my throat possessively, and the other tugs his boxers down and strokes his huge cock slowly, his eyes riveted on my face.
“You want my big cock in your pussy, babygirl?”
I nod, grabbing hold of his arms. “Yes!”
“Then beg me.”
I gawp at him, repeating the demand through my head until I’m sure I captured his words correctly. He wants me to beg for his cock? That’s certainly a surprise. And hot. So fucking hot. Then again, I did have a strong inkling he was kinky the instant I laid eyes on him. He oozes dominance in everything he does and always has that dark glint in his eyes, a glint that says ‘Get on your knees’.
“Please, Josh. Fuck me. I want your cock inside me. I want to feel every inch of you.”
He runs his fingers over my lower lips. “You’ll have to try better than that.”
I watch him spit into his hand and push a finger into my pussy. I gasp the second he touches me, and when he eases another finger in, followed by a third, I’m already moaning, desperate for more as he twists his hand and flicks my sweet spot.
My fingers dig into his arms, and I let out, “Please fuck me, Joshua!”
I’m not used to begging which it’s beginning to show. Fortunately, as he rolls a condom down onto his cock, my words seem to have an affect on him and he plunges into me. The hand around my throat tightens as I clench around his dick and he groans.
“Fuck, Regan, you’re so tight.”
His thrusts his hips, fucking me deep and hard. My moans turn into breathless pants as I cling on to him, my body filling with insurmountable pleasure. It clouds my mind, erasing the fact that I will soon be this boy’s undoing. All I can think about right now is his cock stretching me, his hand choking me, and the way his eyes never leave mine as he stakes claim on my body and quite possibly a lot more.
My heart.
Joshua leans down to claim my lips, and we kiss passionately. This shouldn’t be happening. I’m the wolf and he’s the caribou. It defies all odds stacked against us, yet I can’t seem to stop myself. I know it’s more than just death by seduction. I’m opening myself up to him, literally, and he’s touching and caressing me like I’m something special, as if not a monster that should be locked away.
“Regan,” he murmurs in my ear, nibbling the side of my neck. “I’m getting close.”
“Me…me too,” I pant, squeezing around his cock as my own orgasm soars.
“Fuck!” Joshua moans and digs his fingers into my neck while I scratch my nails down his arms. “I’m cuming, babygirl.”
Just as he says those words, he reaches down to circle my clit, and I Iet go, the two of us awash with pleasure. I can feel his cock pulsing inside me as I lay underneath him, my body shaking with the aftershocks of ecstasy.
“Stay right there,” Joshua orders.
The command sends a shiver down my spine. I’m beginning to fall in love with this dominant side. I watch him push off the bed and go into the bathroom. He comes back with a towel, and he uses it to clean me up. In all my eighteen years, he’s the first guy who’s ever bothered to do that for me. And he had a condom on, to boot. It’s not like I really needed his help.
“Don’t say I’m not good to you,” he winks, throwing the towel onto the floor. “Fuck, that was amazing.”
“It was,” I agree, slowly pulling my dress down. My legs are twitching like he’s just fucked my brains out. “So amazing.”
Joshua catches my arm. “Hey, wait. You’re not staying over?”
“For what? Spooning? That isn’t my style.” Another lie. I wouldn’t mind falling asleep with his strong arms wrapped around me. I just can’t get attached to him that much. “Besides, I can’t go breaking all the school rules, now can I?”
With that, I climb onto his desk and out the window before he can protest.
While I might not have got any valuable information from him tonight, at least I’ve started to creep my way into his heart. It’s a different poison technique to the one I used with Hunter, but this one is the most lethal. Nothing hurts more than a poisoned heart.
“You’re still mad at me.”
It’s not a question as I say the words into complete silence.
Ethan, who hasn’t said a word to me in over a week now, still doesn’t look my way. He is his usual charming self with everyone else, but me? Nope. I know I fucked up by pushing him away and literally running out of the room when he tried to kiss me, but in my defence, I wasn’t ready for anything serious.
And it feels serious with Ethan even when it goes against all reason.
It’s not like Nathan or Joshua, where it can be playful and the raw emotions we feel control everything. Ethan looks at me like he wants to own me and the last person I let do that…well, the nightmares of that time will haunt me for the rest of my life.
With a long sigh, he finally turns those pretty eyes on me. “And you’re still at law. What other truths would you like me to tell you?”
“I don’t know,” I reply honestly, feeling a little stupid.
“Look, you hurt my ego. I’m not used to being shot down so quickly,” he admits, crossing my arms. “And you haunt me for some reason.”
I purse my lips. “I didn’t shoot you down because I don’t like you. I’m just fucked up, okay?”
“I can deal with fucked up. I’m a master at it, actually.” He grins, his usual charming self coming back to me.
“Any chance you’re a master at this law test? I’m just randomly ticking boxes at this point,” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“Well, one out of four of your answers will be right. It’s the descriptive parts of the test you’re going to struggle with. But this is only a practice test, so fuck it.”
I laugh. “I’ll draw them a picture.”
“Smartass.”
“Where do you think our teacher has gone to?” I ask because she disappeared seconds after giving us these tests. The other student, whatever his name is, didn’t come back to class after the first lesson. I don’t blame him. I think Mrs Anderson terrified him.
“She likes to chat with her husband during tests. She won’t be back for another hour,” he says, leaning closer. “Tell me why you ran away from me.”