Save Karyn

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by Karyn Bosnak


  Yeah, you read the title right. Not many people saw the Internet posting floating around with my first and last name on it, so to most of the world, I was still anonymous—just Karyn in Brooklyn. Two months had gone by, and my anonymity was about to come to an end. My grandpa blew my cover. By accident, of course, but this is what happened.

  On Monday, I got an e-mail from someone at the Today show, as in Katie Couric and Matt Lauer. I was absolutely so excited! They asked me if I was interested in coming on the show, but I still wasn’t sure because I still didn’t want to reveal myself. I kind of wanted to save it for the end. Not like anyone would have cared that much, but so far the momentum had still been building, and the anonymous part was what people seemed to love. My initial gut feeling that told me to hold off when Good Morning America contacted me proved to be correct. And my gut said to wait a bit longer this time too.

  But I told the girl who e-mailed me that I would think about it and took her number. Meanwhile she was going to pass my name to a producer and check with her bosses to see if they would be willing to do a funny anonymous piece. Kind of like the website—where they would send a camera crew over and do something really silly at my apartment—a very fun segment. When I hung up the phone, I had to take care of something.

  Monday, August 12, 2002

  Today I killed a roach the size of a small child in my kitchen. I squashed him flat with an Allure magazine after the cat cornered him. That cat’s got one good eye. It was really one of the most horrifying things that has ever happened to me. That and the mouse I had this past winter. That little bugger ran right underneath my bed while I was sleeping. The cat cornered him too. He’s both a mouser AND a roacher.

  I’m not sure if you picked this up from the website or anything…but I’m not the type of girl who is used to roaches and mice. But since moving to Brooklyn, I’ve had both. I figure that’s what I have to put up with to compensate for the cheaper rent.

  I’m not sure how killing the roach made me save or make a buck today. But I didn’t call an exterminator, I got him myself. So I figure I saved a few bucks there.

  After that, I got an e-mail from a reporter at the Milwaukee Sentinel Journal requesting an interview. So I called her back. After talking to her for a while, she asked me if I had any ties to Wisconsin, because she was looking for a local angle for the story.

  “Yes, my grandpa lives there,” I said.

  “Really?” she asked. “Do you think there is any way I could get a quote from him?” She was a really nice reporter, so I said yes but I needed to talk to him first.

  I hung up and called my grandpa, the one who was born in Ireland. He may be a ball of fire, but he’s eighty and can only hear out of one ear. And even that good ear has a hearing aid. By now, my mom had told him about my website.

  “Grandpa?” I said.

  “Karyn!” he said. My grandpa loves me very much and is very proud of me.

  “Hi!” I said. “Grandpa, a reporter from the Milwaukee Sentinel Journal wants to talk to you.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “Because they are doing a story about my website and are looking for a local angle. And I told her that you live in Wisconsin, and she asked if she could get a quote from you.”

  “Okay, just give her my number, anything for my Karyn,” he said.

  “Okay, but, Grandpa, you have to remember to not tell her my last name,” I said.

  “I promise,” he said.

  “Okay, I’m going to have her call you right now,” I said before hanging up. “I love you!”

  “I love you too,” he said. I called the reporter back and gave her his number. I trusted her.

  OVER THE NEXT TWO DAYS, more stories ran in the Daily Telegraph, the Daily Mirror and the Guardian in London. The BBC started e-mailing nonstop, and I did a radio interview where the host surprised me by having Bob and Ben on the line. They weren’t mean though. They just said a lot of “Duh…” and “Uh…” and stuff like that. I think they were nervous. Some more stories ran in the Ottawa Citizen in Canada, and the Australian, the Canberra Times, and the Townsville Bulletin in Australia.

  Tuesday, August 13, 2002

  Tonight I went out for drinks with a long-lost friend who came to New York on business. You now what that means? EXPENSE ACCOUNT! Yup! We met at a swanky little place in the meatpacking district…and got to catch up & drink up for free! Expense accounts rock.

  And by Wednesday the story ran in the Milwaukee Sentinel Journal. And it was on the cover of the paper. Page One. Not a lot going on in Milwaukee apparently. Anyway, I found the article and was relieved to see that my last name wasn’t printed anywhere. Grandpa had done good and vouched for me, saying that I was legitimate. But then I noticed that the journalist printed his first and last name. Damn! I forgot to tell him not to give her his last name. It wasn’t the same as mine, so I wasn’t too freaked. But anyway…

  Later that day, my mom called me and told me that some reporter had called my grandpa and started asking questions.

  “A reporter from where? What was his name?” I asked.

  “Grandpa doesn’t remember,” my mom said.

  “He has to!” I said.

  “All he remembers is that he thinks he worked at Court TV, and he thinks he name began with an A. Andrew or Adam or something.”

  This was weird because Court TV had never contacted me for an interview. So for them to call up my grandpa and not me was odd.

  “Grandpa didn’t give him my last name, right?” I asked.

  “He says he didn’t, but your Uncle Rob says that he did,” she said. “I’ll have him call you.”

  “Okay,” I said. I hung up with my mom and called Jodi, my friend the agent, because she used to work at Court TV. When I asked her if she worked with a producer named Andrew or Adam or something, she said no, but she said it could be someone from The Smoking Gun. The Smoking Gun is a website that finds court documents and exposes people, so to speak, and it’s affiliated with Court TV.

  After I hung up with Jodi, I went online to The Smoking Gun website and looked at the staff names. And there, under “Reporters,” it said Andrew Goldberg.

  I called my grandpa.

  “Grandpa, did the guy say that his name was Andrew Goldberg?” I asked.

  “Yeah, yeah, I think that could have been it,” he said.

  “You didn’t give him my last name though, right?” I asked.

  “No, I didn’t,” he said.

  “What kind of things did he ask you?” I asked.

  “I don’t remember,” he said. “Here, talk to your uncle Rob.” He passed the phone over.

  “Karyn,” my uncle said, whispering so my grandpa’s one good ear couldn’t hear him.

  “What did he say?” I asked. It was kind of pathetic that a savvy New York reporter called up my eighty-year-old grandpa to figure out who I was.

  “He says he didn’t tell him your last name,” my uncle said, “but listen. He’s so proud of you that he talked too much. He told him where you went to high school and college, and told him you were a cheerleader, and that you can sing really well. He told him that your sister lives in Minneapolis with her husband and that they don’t have any kids. He told him that your mom and dad are divorced and that your mom owns a frozen custard shop, and that your dad is retired from the phone company. And then I heard him say, ‘I can’t tell you her last name.’”

  “Well, that’s good,” I said.

  “No, wait,” he said. “Then I heard him say, ‘Oh, her dad’s name is Nick Bosnak.’ So he didn’t tell him your last name, but he told him your dad’s last name.”

  That fucking reporter tricked my eighty-year-old grandpa! I had to laugh, though, because how could I be mad at grandpa? He is the greatest grandpa in the whole world!

  The next day, I looked on The Smoking Gun website and found nothing. I felt like they were going to out me any day. And The Smoking Gun is very popular. So if they outed me, everyone would know. Later tha
t day the phone rang and it was the Today show again, asking me to come on the following day and no, they wouldn’t do anything anonymous—it was now or never. I said yes.

  I quickly called my mom and dad to tell them the good news. My mom was home and was so excited! She said she would call all the relatives and let them know. And my dad, well, he still wouldn’t pick up the phone when I called. So I left a message.

  “Hi, Dad,” I said. “It’s Karyn. I just want to let you know that I’m going to be on the Today show tomorrow. As in Matt Lauer and Katie Couric. I should be on around eight A.M. or so, so tune in. I love you.” I hung up.

  Afterward, I made sure my site was completely up-to-date, and then checked on some of my eBay auctions. Everything had bids, including the Olympics stuff that my dad’s friend had sent me. In fact, they were going for around $30 each. When I looked at the name of the bidder, it said “Old Crow Jr.” My other grandpa (my dad’s dad), used to have the nickname Old Crow Sr. because he was Croatian. So when I saw the name Old Crow Jr. I immediately thought that it must be my dad. I quickly checked the e-mail address of that username, and sure enough it was. My dad was bidding on my eBay items! He wouldn’t return my phone calls, but he was bidding on my items. I didn’t e-mail him, or call him back and tell him that I knew, because I think it was his way of helping me indirectly without giving me money.

  Later that afternoon, after logging off, I was a call-in guest on CNN’s TalkBack Live, and then I got ready for my big day.

  Thursday, August 15, 2002

  Tonight I applied a really old self-tanner to give myself a bit of color. I really like Clarins, but I can’t afford to buy a new bottle, so I am going to try the really old stuff. I do not like to sunbathe because I do not want to get wrinkles. You have to plan early for these types of things. I also do not smoke because I do not want wrinkles OR lung cancer. The self-tanner smells funny. I hope I don’t turn orange.

  Friday morning I woke up and a big black car picked me up at 7:15 to bring me to the Today show’s studios at Rockefeller Center. I was so nervous! Scott came with me.

  The car dropped us off at a side door, and we checked in with an NBC page. Because it was August and it was a Friday, James Taylor was there to be a guest for the Summer Concert Series.

  The night before, the producer had told me that Katie was going to interview me, but when I got there, I found out that it was going to be Matt instead. I was kind of nervous because Matt can be kind of hard-hitting, you know? So I crossed my fingers and prayed that he would be nice.

  After checking in, I was directed to a room to get my makeup and hair done. As I sat in the chair and waited, Katie Couric came in for a touch-up. She looked at me.

  “Are you the credit card girl?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” I said, smiling, “I am.”

  “I think your story is so funny!” she said. “But Matt’s going to interview you.”

  “I know, I’m nervous,” I said.

  “Oh, you’ll be fine!” she said. “By the way, where’d you get your skirt?”

  “Banana Republic,” I said.

  “It’s cute,” she said.

  “Thank you!” I replied. Katie liked my skirt!

  “Good luck!” Katie said as she got up to leave. I felt better.

  After about five minutes, the makeup and hair girls were done and the producer brought me downstairs. I was so happy. It was a gorgeous day outside and James Taylor was singing. And Matt Lauer is just a babe—let’s be honest!

  I was directed to my chair in the studio and waited by myself for a few minutes. The studio was dark and cold, and I saw all the people outside, but I couldn’t hear them, which helped alleviate some of the nervousness.

  A few moments later, Matt Lauer walked up and sat down in the chair opposite me. And wow! Okay, like he’s cute on TV and all, but he’s a damn dreamboat in person! And that haircut! Despite the criticism, it looked good!

  “Hi,” he said to me, smiling. The cameras had not started rolling yet.

  “Hi,” I said.

  “How are you?” he asked.

  “I’m really nervous,” I said.

  “Aww, don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine!” he said. “Just pretend you are at a cocktail party!”

  I wanted to say, “The thing is, Matt, I don’t go to many cocktail parties. I live in Brooklyn with my cat and rodents in the walls.” But I didn’t. Before I knew it, the cameras started rolling and we were on the air. Matt started talking.

  “What would you do if you were more than twenty thousand dollars in debt and had no one to turn to for help? Well, a young woman known to the world just as Karyn set up a website asking people to give her money, and they did, sending her thousands of dollars and expecting nothing in return but good karma. Karyn’s true identity has remained a closely guarded secret even to her closest friends. But now Karyn Bosnak is here to reveal herself and tell the world for the first time all about her scheme that apparently is working…Karyn, welcome.”

  FIVE MINUTES LATER…I don’t really remember what happened after the introduction! I was too nervous! But after going to Jodi’s office, which was right by Rockefeller, and watching the tape, I realized that Matt was nice! I did okay! He asked me how I came up with the idea, he talked about the anti-Karyn sites—all in all it was good! While at Jodi’s, I called some radio stations for some more interviews.

  Friday, August 16, 2002

  Today I made some long-distance calls from my friend’s office phone. I was on for about 30 minutes, so I figure I saved about $3.

  And then I went home. That day alone, I received over twenty-three hundred e-mails! I felt like Forrest Gump when he caught all those damn shrimp! And I received a gazillion phone calls from people I knew. Let me tell you, everyone watches the Today show. Old friends, old boyfriends—they all came out of the woodwork. One of the biggest questions everyone asked was, “Is Matt Lauer as cute in person as he is on TV?” Well, the females asked that question anyway. No, wait—some guys did too. Anywho, of course I answered “Yes! You have no idea!”

  My mom called me to say she was proud, and she told me that my grandpa cried.

  “If only Annamary was here to see her!” she said he said. Annamary was my grandma, who died when I was little. She’s the one my mom always prays to. My mom told my grandpa that Grandma probably did see. Moms are good.

  After hanging up with her and printing some e-mails so my inbox wouldn’t get full, my phone rang again.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Karyn,” a voice said, “it’s your dad.” Finally!

  “Hi,” I said. I was so happy he called. “Did you see me on TV?”

  “I did,” he answered. “And you did a good job. I’m proud of you, honey.”

  “Thank you, Dad! See, it’s all going to go away,” I said.

  “I know,” he said. “And guess what else?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “I’m Old Crow Jr. and I won some of your eBay auctions,” he answered. I pretended not to know.

  “You are? Well, then you owe me sixty-eight dollars, Dad,” I said, laughing.

  “I noticed on your website that you don’t take personal checks,” he said. “Will you take one from your dad?”

  “Yes, I will,” I said. Dads are good.

  Sunday, August 18, 2002

  Today I may or may not have returned a pair of worn pants to a store in SoHo. It may not be legal to return a pair of worn pants with reattached tags and pass them off as unworn. So I have to be safe and not incriminate myself by admitting that I did it, so I might not have done it. If I did do it, I may have saved myself about $84. But I might not have done it and I might just be making it up.

  That week, I received 204,097 hits on the site, and $2,630 in donations. My debt had been cut in half. One guy sent me an e-mail saying this:

  Why on earth would people send money to a stranger without getting some sort of payback? Please enlighten me.

  And in m
y weekly update I answered him:

  Here’s your enlightenment…Today I gave two stamps to some random guy at the post office because the line was too long and he didn’t want to wait. I was standing there with a whole book of stamps in my hand and he asked me if he could have two and I said sure. He offered me money and I said, “Don’t worry.” It was two stamps, you know? He smiled and said, “Oh, you made my day.” And I said, “I’m glad to have made your day.” I gave him something for nothing, and got something in return. It wasn’t money, but it was the satisfaction that I helped him out. He left with a smile and so did I.

  So to all you people who gave me money, “You made my day.” I am smiling, just like the guy at the post office. And just by the letters and e-mails that I’ve received from you, I bet you are smiling too. I hope it made you feel good like I felt good when I gave that guy two stamps. So, that’s what you get, Mr. Pessimistic. Hopefully you are enlightened.

  You shouldn’t do things in life for the sole purpose of getting things back. You should do them because you want to make this world a better place. And what you SHOULD get back is a positive feeling because you’ve helped someone out. To me, that is satisfaction and payback enough.

  I know I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. If my website works, and I get my debt paid off, I will SO give back to the community. I will be so indebted to everyone for making my life easier by taking the burden of debt off my shoulders. And I won’t do it because it’s what I’m supposed to do, but because it’s what I WANT to do. When people help you, you feel compelled to help other people. Maybe after I gave that guy two stamps today he went out and gave someone bus fare, or gave someone change at the grocery store. Or maybe he just took that smile of his and smiled at everyone on his way home! I know I did…That’s what you get back, and that’s better than just about anything.

 

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