by E. M. Hardy
BigMama: To be fair, she got pretty rattled up about this whole ‘demons from another world thing.’ She crushed hard on Mister Blue, and then got torn up when she learned that he’s probably a soul-sucking demon planning to kill her.
Ecstasy: That’s what you get for getting stupid ideas when you’re with a client. We’re just holes to fuck, and they’re just wallets to plunder. Never cross those lines and imagine something else.
BigMama: Ecstasy, darling, I’m supposed to be the jaded cynic in this group. You’ll need a few more decades on you to be that bitter.
Ecstasy: But it’s true! Just because I can walk away from all this, live on my basic income checks like every other schmuck out there, doesn’t change the facts of our occupation!
BigMama: Right. Moving away from this totally uplifting and heartwarming line of discussion, anyone else wants to share how their day has been?
Mary: To be completely honest though… I kinda miss Blue. He was a pretty decent guy, a sweetheart even. I thought his tentacle fetish was a bit weird, but it’s rare for a client like him to care about me getting off. Most just focus solely on their pleasures, on getting themselves off however they want.
Pearl: Yeah. I really like that swirly thing he does with his tongue, with one of his tentacles up my cooch and a finger rimming my butthole.
Ecstasy: Really, Pearl? Ever heard of TMI?
Pearl: What? Don’t tell me you don’t get off when he does that kind of stuff.
BigMama: Ladies! You might be whores, but you’re proper whores! Remember to keep this discussion PG-13!
Mary: LOL
Pearl: LOL
Nancy: LOL
Lindsey: LOL
Roberta: LOL
Ecstasy: Ahkchually, the politically correct term is sex worker.
Roberta: But you know, for reals now, I can’t imagine that horny sweetheart going all psycho on us. He’s one of the few decent guys we encounter in this line of work, and I really look forward to it when he books an appointment.
Ecstasy: And that’s the thing with psychos: you never really know. You think the guy you’re talking to is great, fun to be around with, and the perfect gentleman. And the next thing you know, he’s cutting away bits and pieces from your still-living body—eating you up with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Nancy: Hey, why does that last bit sound familiar?
Ecstasy: An ancient movie reference, way back even before VR. Anyway, I’m just relieved that he upped and stopped booking appointments when he did. His cover was probably blown when President “Brass Balls” Stetmann made her announcement about demons.
BigMama: Whatever the case, I’m glad that you girls are all safe and sound. I know this whole demon thing has you spooked out, especially after your brush with Mister Blue, but I just want you to be extra careful with your clients in the future. I’m going to tweak the filters, take a closer look at prospective clients, and do my best to weed out any potential demons.
Lindsey: Huh. Do you even know how to tell the difference between a demon and a human?
BigMama: Well, for starters, I can always reject anyone with a fetish for demons, blue skinsuits, and ‘mechatronic tentacle limbs’ in the future.
Roberta: Awww… but what if Mister Blue comes calling again?
Nancy: Yeah. He was pretty good in the sack without being a complete douchebag about it.
Pearl: Agree 500%. Demon or no demon, I wouldn’t mind going up for another dozen rounds with that guy. How about you, Ecstasy? What would you do if Blue called you out of the blue to book an appointment?
Ecstasy: Really? That pun was just bad.
Pearl: Pun? What pun? But don’t change the topic: what would you do if Blue wanted to hook up with you again?
Ecstasy: Let’s see. I’d use my Taser to shock him into a twitching mess, kick him in the balls at least three times, and then shove his demonic tentacles up his ass for breaking Clara’s heart when he went silent on her. And then I’d ask him to do that swirly thing that you just mentioned.
BigMama: Impossible… you girls are absolutely impossible, you know that?
[End of Appendix A: Sex Worker Chat Log 001]
Case File: DI-00020387-F
Case Title: “Mister Blue”
Case Worker: Elizabeth Irvington, Department of Paranormal Investigations
Recommended Course of Action: identify person/creature of interest called “Mister Blue” prior to apprehension or termination, depending on assessed threat level.
Case Status: ELEVATED