Fuck.
Just as I’m starting to calm the fire burning inside me, her lithe fingers slip past the waistband of my boxers.
“Fuck,” I groan as her small fingers encircle my cock. She swipes her thumb over my tip then squeezes my shaft as she starts to stroke me.
“Holy fuck, Rosie.” I groan then pump my hips up into her hand, encouraging her. That is until my brain catches up with the situation. I grab her wrist, stopping her movement. “What are you doing?”
She blushes, and my dick twitches in her palm. Her pink tongue darts out of her mouth and sweeps across her lips. “I thought you wanted me?”
“I do want you. Trust me, but not like this. Not until you are ready.”
“Oh.”
Rose looks defeated. Tears well in her eyes, and she shifts away from me, burying her face in the pillow before they can fall. I’m instantly agitated by the distance she put between us. Even just a few inches of bed feels like an endless chasm. It’s intolerable. Now that I have her back, I won’t tolerate anything taking her away from me again. Not even herself.
“Look at me.”
She shakes her head, burrowing her face further into the pillow. Frustration wells up in my chest. Frustration isn’t a feeling I enjoy. Unfortunately, it’s been the most prevalent feeling I’ve had the last several days, and I’m done with it.
I’ve been walking on eggshells and treating Rose like a porcelain doll. It’s obviously not working because I’m fucking things up left and right. This isn’t like me. I’m usually in control of every situation, but ever since Rose fell into my arms, I’ve been in a tailspin. Now she’s suffering for it. It’s time that I take control of the situation.
It’s time for her to learn a little lesson about dominants.
“Look at me.”
She sniffles and continues to hide her face in the pillow.
“This is your last warning, little girl. You need to look at me.”
Her body tenses at my tone. Whether she was always meant to be submissive or if circumstance turned her submissive, the fact is, she responds to a certain level of dominance. Her instinct tells her that she is supposed to submit, but her mind recoils against the idea of giving up her newly acquired freedom. Several moments pass before she lifts her head and shows me her tear-stained face.
Instantly I reach out to her, cupping her cheek in my palm I rub my thumb through the dampness. “Good girl.”
Her face tilts into my hold, and she blinks at me in confusion.
“Enough of these tears. I’m not angry with you. You haven’t disappointed me. There’s no reason to cry.” I pull her closer, eliminating the distance she put between us. “I won’t take advantage of you, love. You’ve been through so much…” I shake my head, not wanting to consider everything that could’ve been done to her. “When we cross that line, I want it to be for the right reasons and not because you feel like you owe it to me. You’ve been taken advantage of for too long. I want to be your safe place.” I give her a moment to absorb my words. “Don’t ever doubt that one day, I will be buried balls deep inside that sweet pussy of yours. One day, I’m going to claim your body the same way I laid claim on your heart ten years ago. But it will be on my terms. Right now, I say you’re not ready, so we wait. It’s that simple.”
Rose gasps at my dirty words. Her eyes going hooded, and she shifts her thighs together. If I had to guess, I would say my girl likes dirty talk. I would give anything to slide my fingers between her legs to see if she’s as wet as I imagine. I’d push her to her back and lick her little pussy dry before…
No. I wrench my thoughts away from dangerous places. Instead of indulging between her legs, I bring her lips to mine and kiss her.
11
Rose
The second Matthew’s lips touch mine; I melt into him. I’ve been kissed hundreds of times, but never like this. Out of all the kisses that were forced upon me during captivity, I never once kissed anyone back. I want to kiss Matthew back with my entire being.
The desire is so completely foreign to me. I don’t quite know what to do with it. I’ve never kissed a person just because I wanted to. Each and every kiss up until this moment has been stolen from me. I thought the act itself was forever sullied for me, but with Matthew’s lips pressed to mine and his tongue lightly licking at my lips asking for entrance, I realize how very wrong I was.
I want to kiss him more than I want my next breath. I feel entirely out of my depth. I hesitantly open for him. Thankfully, he doesn’t hesitate. He confidently takes control. On a low growl, his tongue delves between my lips. I tentatively return his kiss, but I’m worried I’ll mess up. I’ve never done this before. Not like this. Not where I’ve participated. I make a move to pull away because I would rather this moment end on perfection that for it to be ruined by ineptitude.
Matthew must sense my intention because he threads his fingers through my hair and holds me in place. He nips, sucks, and licks at my lips, coaxing. I keep myself pliant. I’m good at that. I know how to do that. Matthew realizes that I’m not actually kissing back and growls into my mouth. The sound reverberates through my chest, sending a shiver of anticipation through me.
I whimper in response, wanting to let go but not knowing how. With one hand on my hip and the other buried in my blonde locks, he lets me know he’s in charge. It frees me from worry. If he’s the one in charge, all I have to do is follow his lead. I don’t have to think. I don’t have to overanalyze or stress about what to do next.
With a low moan, I give myself over to him. Matching the hungry strokes of his tongue with my own. Before long, we’ve found our rhythm. Our tongues slick together in a sensual dance that has my core aching. I swear, I could kiss Matthew forever. I didn’t know it could be this good. Instinct tells me that it’s only this good because it’s Matthew.
Without thinking about what I’m doing, I push him to his back and straddle his hips. I’m not foolish, I know that he’s letting me take charge and I love the temporary power. I can feel the hard bar of his cock against my rear, I do my best to ignore his obvious erection. Instead, I bury my fingers in his hair and return my focus to my new addiction—kissing.
I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of kissing Matthew.
He rips a gasp from my lips when he shifts me slightly, trapping his hard length between our bodies. With both hands on my hips, he rocks me against him. The overwhelming sensation of his cock rubbing along my sensitive folds distracts me until I’m no longer kissing him. My mouth hovers over his, my lips parted on a moan.
Once again, I follow his lead. I let him guide my movements until I’m lost in a sea of molten lava. My insides burn with need as my arousal grows and grows. One of Matthew’s hands leaves my hips, and I shudder when his big palm cups one of my small breasts. He strokes my nipple with his thumb, over and over until I can feel each stroke like a line of fire straight to my clit.
I don’t realize what’s happening until I’m moaning and writhing on top of Matthew as my body is wracked by my first-ever orgasm. Before I have a chance to catch my breath, he rolls us until I’m pinned beneath him. I moan as he hooks a hand behind my knee and pulls my leg up around his hip. With practiced ease, he finds just the right angle to rub his thick erection against my slick folds.
Distantly, I can feel the pain from the lash marks on my back as he presses me to the bed, but the pleasure far outweighs the pain. I gasp into his lips as he moves, his cock rubs along my sensitive clit, causing my whole body to shudder at the intensity. The heat is building again. Every stroke of his cock pushes me closer and closer to another edge.
“Oh, God,” I cry out.
Matthew’s lips crush to mine, swallowing up cries. My body is on fire, burning with a growing need that is scary in its intensity. I feel like I’m going to self-combust. Our teeth clash, and the copper taste of blood floods my senses. He pulls his lips from mine, and the steady grind of his hips slows to a stop. I whimper and try to recreate the frict
ion myself, but he pins my hips down preventing me from moving.
“You wreck my control,” he growls. I whimper when his thumb brushes my lip, he lifts his hand and shows me the blood before he licks it clean. “Are you okay?”
I want to scream that no, I’m not okay. That I want him to keep going. My body doesn’t want to stop; my core aches for the release his body promised. Unfortunately, my brain is back online, and all the worries start pressing down on me again. I’m not sure how to answer when Matthew asks me again if I’m okay.
No… yes… I don’t know. All of them fit the moment. Since I can’t land on one response, I just nod. Nodding is safe.
“Words, love. I want to hear your words,” he coaxes. When I don’t immediately answer, he adds, “Unless I have you tied down and gagged, you need to use your words whenever I ask you a question.”
My heart stutters in my chest at the thought of being tied down. The broken pieces of me start to feel the oh so familiar panic. I can practically taste the dirty leather strap that they used to gag me to keep me from screaming.
No!
I shake my head, trying to dislodge the memories. Matthew wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t hurt me that way. He couldn’t hurt me like that. He’s my hero. He’s nothing like the monsters the Perfects unleashed on me.
Slowly, the anxiety starts to lessen.
12
Matthew
I can tell that I’ve hit a trigger for her anxiety. There’s no telling what those sick fucks did to her, but obviously being tied down distresses her. I can smell the fear rolling off of her. I want to help her through her growing anxiety, to assure her that I won’t ever do anything she doesn’t give consent for, but she needs to be able to control her panic on her own.
Rose looks up at me with those too big for her face blue eyes, and I can visibly see the fear leaving her as she works through her anxiety. She closes her eyes and takes a deep, cleansing breath, then levels that blue gaze back on me. “I’m okay.”
“Yes, you are,” I confirm, giving her a brief kiss.
I’m so fucking proud of her. She’s resilient, and seeing her anxiety triggered and her finding her way through to the other side proves that she’s going to be fine. It won’t be easy, but she’s going to heal from her past, and I’ll be here to help her every step of the way.
I roll us to our sides so we are lying face to face. She snuggles close, letting out a little sigh of contentment. We lay in comfortable silence. It reminds me of all the comfortable silences we shared before she disappeared. I still can’t believe that after all these years she’s here, in my arms, in my bed. It’s surreal.
Blinding hot rage floods my mind when I think of all the years we lost. I swear on everything that is holy that I will take down the fuckers that stole her away from me and broke the sweet innocence I treasured. I’ll spend the rest of my life helping her pick up the pieces until she’s happy and whole.
13
Rose
I let out a sigh as I watch Matthew put on his tie. We spent all morning cuddling in bed. We talked some, but mostly we just soaked up being in each other’s arms. Unfortunately, reality came knocking in the form of Kisten reminding Matthew of some important meetings he has this afternoon at the club.
“Are you sure you have to go?” I cringe at how needy I sound. I know he has to work, but the thought of being away from him for hours and hours feels ominous.
He looks at me through the reflection of the mirror he’s using to adjust his tie. Our eyes meet, and heat crackles between us. “Unfortunately, yes.”
I try really hard to put on a brave face. He’s reassured me multiple times that I’m not actually alone. Slade and Hannah will both be here. I would rather go to the club with Matthew, but he insists that I stay home and rest up.
Once he has his tie just so, he comes to where I’m sitting on the edge of the bed and bends to press his lips to mine. The kiss is brief but full of all the longing and desire he feels for me. “I’ll only be a few hours.”
I chew on my bottom lip, trying to hide the anxiety I’m feeling at being separated. Matthew pulls my abused lip from between my teeth and kisses it gently. “No need to tear up that sexy little lip of yours, sweetheart. I won’t be gone long, and when I get home, we will have dinner together.” His voice is like a loving caress across my frayed nerves.
“Will you have to go back tonight?”
“Yes, but tonight I want you with me.”
He lowers his forehead to mine. Our noses brush a moment before his lips find mine again. He kisses me slow and sweet. Slow and sweet doesn’t last long because when his tongue delves between my lips, I lose control. By the time he pulls away, I’m breathless and can’t remember why I was feeling so anxious.
“I really do need to go,” he murmurs against my lips.
“I know,” I breathe, my lips brushing his.
That’s all it takes for the heat between us to reignite. Matthew grasps both sides of my face in his hands and tips my head back, deepening the kiss. His lips are fierce on mine, and mine are just as hungry. I open for him without prompting, and then he’s really kissing me. Our tongues tangle and dance together as if we’ve spent years learning each other and not just a few short hours.
All thoughts fly out of my head as we lose ourselves to our body’s desires. I bury my hands in his perfectly styled hair, holding him to me. His hands move from my face, down my neck. My heart skips a beat when one of his big hands circles my throat, but the fear is cut short as his other hand cups my breast. His thumb sweeps over my nipple, and I moan at the unexpected pleasure. I never realized how sensitive my breasts are until Matthew’s touch. He swallows down my moans as he teases my nipple with his fingers.
His fingers flex around my throat, and for some reason, the slight restriction of my breath only adds to the inferno growing inside me. I’m ready to beg him for another release like he gave me earlier. A throat clearing from the doorway is like a bucket of ice water dumped over top of my desire. Even though Matthew’s big body is already between me and the door, I bury myself against him further, hiding.
Matthew’s hand runs soothingly down my back. “It’s just Kisten, sweetheart.”
Kisten clears his throat again, and I peek out from behind Matthew at him. He gives me a crooked smile, and I remind myself that Kisten is safe. That I’m safe here. There’s no reason to be scared anymore. “Sorry to interrupt, but if you want to make the meeting, we’ve got to head out.”
Matthew looks down at me and cups my cheek. “I have an idea. Why don’t you go shopping today and buy a few things? Slade can take you to the mall or wherever, and then tonight, when I get home, I’ll take you out to a proper dinner.”
“Like a date?” I cringe at the hopefulness.
He just smiles and kisses the tip of my nose. “Exactly like a date. I’d say we are about ten years late for our first date. Wouldn’t you?”
“Yeah… but…” I chew on my lip as I remember my circumstances and I’m filled with shame. “I can’t afford to go shopping.”
“Listen up, love, because I’m only going to say this once. You’re mine. That means everything that I have is yours.”
“I’ll pay you back,” I say resolutely. Anger flashes through his eyes. I use one of his own distraction techniques and kiss him lightly. “I appreciate everything, Matthew, but I don’t want to feel like a leech. If you don’t want me to pay you back with money, fine, but let me do something else to earn my way. I can cook or clean… or maybe do something at the club.”
“You don’t have to earn your way with me. I want to spoil you. You deserve to be spoiled,” Matthew says stubbornly.
“We will have to agree to disagree about that one, but it doesn’t change the fact that I won’t take advantage of you. I’ve been around those people all my life. I refuse to be that person.”
His brow is furrowed as he not only listens to my words but really hears what I’m saying. He sighs and shakes his head.
“You win, but for the record, I’m only caving on this because you need it and not because I want you to pay me back. Everything I do for you is because you’re mine, and there will never be an expectation for repayment. I only want you to be happy.”
My answering smile is so wide my cheeks hurt. I can tell it nearly killed him to concede to my need to pay him back in some way, but he did it. I’m starting to believe that when he says he’ll do anything for me that it’s true. It’s a heady thing having such a powerful man standing at my back at the ready to do whatever it takes to ensure my happiness.
“Thank you, Matty. Feeling useful will make me happy. Promise.”
He presses a tender kiss to my smiling lips. “You’re welcome, love. Now I better go before Daniels gets his panties in a wad and comes back.”
I giggle at the idea that a manly man like Kisten Daniels would be wearing panties. “Hope your meetings go well.”
“Thank you, sweetheart. I’ll let Slade know that you’re going to need to do some shopping today. Hannah is in charge of all the household tasks. You can ask her if there’s anything she needs help with around here.”
I enjoy a nice shower after Matthew leaves. I’m still a little tender in a few places, but miraculously I feel almost good as new. I quickly realize there’s no way I can rub the salve on my back by myself. I do the best I can, but I know I’ve missed a lot of the worst spots on my upper back.
“Damn it,” I grumble to myself. I should’ve thought about that before I showered. Heck, I should have thought about that before leaving the clinic. There’s always been someone there to help me. Oh, well. Matthew can help me later. I change my focus to my tangled hair. Several minutes later, my hair is smooth and ready to be dried. I look through the cabinets and can’t find a hairdryer, so I decide to braid it instead.
Unforgettable (Black Rose Doms Book 1) Page 10