I curse my stupidity. I knew something was wrong, and I did nothing to help her. I fed her the fucking pills the doctor prescribed and believed them when they told me to just give it time. This is my fucking fault. I should have trusted my gut and demanded the doctor change her medication or something.
I run my hands through my hair and turn away from Rose on a curse. I pace a couple steps away. I have to get myself together. I can’t breakdown right now. Rose needs me. I push down my feelings and crawl under the blankets with Rose. I pull her still shivering body against mine. Her skin is so cold it feels like it practically scalds mine when I cover her in my warmth.
How the fuck did this happen?
Hannah comes rushing in the room, stopping short when she sees Rose shivering in my arms. Her big green eyes are wide and tearful. She pulls herself together a hell of a lot faster than I did.
“The doc is on her way. She’s across town, so it’ll be a while.” Hannah kneels on the floor behind me and reaches over my body so she can run her fingertips over Rose’s cheek. “Matthew, what’s wrong with her?”
“I don’t know. I found her like this in the shower. The water was ice cold. She’s freezing.”
Hannah doesn’t hesitate to strip off her clothes and crawls into bed on the other side of Rose and snuggles close. She runs her delicate fingers up and down Rose’s arm and whispers to her. “Rose, honey, if you can hear me, you’ve gotta come back now. Fight whatever this is and come back to us.”
I lose track of time as Hannah and I lay with Rose sandwiched between our bodies. My only focus is on Rose’s slow, steady breathing. Hannah is humming quietly, stopping periodically to whisper words of encouragement to Rose. Nothing seems to be getting through to her. She’s like a broken doll in our arms. Here and yet not. Thankfully, she’s no longer trembling with cold.
Relief washes over me when I hear the familiar click-clack of Doc’s heels as she walks at her typical fast-clip down the hallway. “I got here as quick as I could.” She sets her medical bag down on the foot of the bed and starts pulling things out. She makes a shooing motion, and Hannah and I both get up, giving her room to work. “What happened?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. She was fine—well, as fine as she has been any other day this week—before she got in the shower.” I run a hand down my face, half wanting to claw my eyes out so I can purge the sight of her lifeless stare. “I went to check on her, but she didn’t respond. She’s been so reserved I just thought I couldn’t hear her over the water.
“I got a phone call, so I figured I’d give her a few more minutes to finish up. After the call, I knocked again. When she still didn’t respond, I busted the door in and found her staring off like this. The water was freezing. She was so damn cold, her lips were blue. She’s completely unresponsive.”
As I’m explaining, Doc starts her examination. She checks Rose’s vitals and makes a little clicking sound with her tongue. I want to shake her and demand that she tell me right now what is wrong with my girl. Hannah grips my hand tightly in hers, grounding me.
“Her temperature is still a bit on the low side, but other than that, she appears fine.” She’s quite for a few more moments as she checks Rose’s extremities. “It doesn’t look like she’s suffering any ill effects from the cold. You were smart to lay with her. Did Dr. Klein change her medication?”
“Yes.”
Before I can ask, Hannah rushes to the bathroom and back with the prescription bottles. Doc looks them over with a furrowed brow. “These are extremely high doses for someone as petite as Rose. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say this is just a bad reaction to the medication. Give me a moment to call Dr. Klein.”
She leaves the room, her phone already to her ear. I could kick myself for not pushing the doctor harder about how the medications were affecting her. I never should have believed them when they said it would just take time.
Because of their word, I sat by and watched my girl slowly disappear into herself and now look. She’s fucking catatonic. Fuck! My sweet Rose has been through so damn much already, and the very thing that was supposed to help caused even more harm.
I move to sit on the edge of the bed and hold her hand. I’m brought back to those first days in the recovery suite, where I sat at her bedside for days waiting for her to heal. After a few minutes, Rose’s body visibly relaxes. With a soft sigh, she rubs her cheek against the pillow and closes her eyes. I know it’s not much, but it gives me hope.
“Alright, here’s what we are going to do,” Doc says as she reenters the room, “I’m calling in a different prescription. Nothing as strong as what that moron put her on. I’m also going to call in an anxiety medication that can be used on an as-needed basis instead of her having to take it every day. I’ll be back in the morning to check on her. For now, just let her rest. Try to keep her hydrated, if she won’t drink, call me and I’ll come put an IV in. I’d rather keep that as a last resort considering how she reacted to her last IV.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Master Bennett. You’ve done so much for the community and for me. Taking care of your Rose is the least I can do.” She pats my shoulder then leaves.
I curl my body back around Rose and am slightly surprised when Hannah climbs back in behind Rose. Neither of us speaks. It’s not until Slade comes home that all of the worry seems to catch up with Hannah. The second she sees him, her eyes well up with tears and a broken sob is torn from her throat. Rose twitches in her sleep at the sound but doesn’t wake.
Slade picks Hannah up from the bed and speaks quietly to her as he carries her out of the room.
I hug Rose close, more determined than ever to find a way to help her through this.
28
Rose
“Rose.”
“Hmm?” I moan. Ugh. I don’t want to wake up yet.
“Rose.”
“Wha?”
“Girl, you need to wake that lazy butt up and get going. I’m going to be in trouble already for letting you sleep so long!” Hannah huffs. She’s been covering for me more and more lately. I don’t want to tell Matthew that I stopped taking the medicine. What happened last week scared me, and I don’t ever want something like that to happen again.
My emotions might be on a rollercoaster again, but at least I can feel them. I will take the highs and lows over numbness any day.
“Ugh, I’m up,” I whine.
I haven’t been going with Matthew to the club like I used to. I think he just assumes that I don’t feel up to it. Which is only half true. The other part of the reason is that I don’t want to risk Matthew figuring out that I’m no longer taking my medicine.
Since I’m no longer going to the club, Hannah is on babysitting duty. I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t tattled on me for spending more and more time in bed. The only reason the guys don’t know is because I get up every morning and pretend that everything is normal. I make breakfast and chat with Matthew and Slade. I take a shower, then kiss Matthew good-bye before sending him off to work. Once they are gone, I crawl back into bed, exhausted from putting on a show.
Acting normal is exhausting.
I know part of the reason I’m so tired all the time is from withdrawals. You’re not supposed to stop taking the kind of medications they had me on cold turkey. Hopefully, once they are completely out of my system, it’ll be easier to pretend to be normal.
It’s only been a few days since I stopped taking the new meds that Dr. Martinez prescribed, and other than the overwhelming exhaustion, I’m feeling more myself every day.
“I’m going to take a quick shower.”
Hannah rolls her eyes and disappears into the closet to pick out my clothes. Matthew wants to take me out tonight, and since she thinks I’m utterly hopeless when it comes to dressing myself, she’s appointed herself my personal stylist.
The shower helps wake me up. I wrap myself in a towel and start the tedious task of brushing out my hair. Before I can attack i
t too hard, Hannah comes in and snatches the brush and blow dryer from my hands.
“Sit,” she commands. I don’t even try to argue. She likes fiddling with my hair and makeup, and I hate doing it, so it works out for both of us. She gets a real-life doll to primp and dress, and my hair and makeup look a trillion times better than I’d ever do.
Once my hair has been brushed and dried to a shining curtain around my shoulders, Hannah shows me the dress she picked. It’s the black one with the open back. Once I’m dressed, I can’t help but admire myself in the mirror. I look like a totally different person.
“You look phenomenal, love,” Matthew says.
I catch his eyes in the mirror and blush at the hungry way his eyes are eating me up. I moan as he wraps his arms around me from behind and kisses the side of my neck. He’s been so careful with me that I’m surprised when he doesn’t stop kissing me. Matthew turns my face to his, then takes my lips in a passionate kiss.
My body sparks to life as his tongue dances with mine. I turn in his arms and moan when my nipples rub against his chest. The dress is thin and offers zero protection from the delicious torture. Matthew kisses me harder, taking control. For the first time in weeks, I feel alive.
He ends the kiss, and I whimper, wanting more.
“We’ve got a reservation, sweetheart.”
I pout at him. “I’d rather stay home and kiss some more.”
Matthew chuckles and playfully swats my ass. “It would be a crime to keep you to myself when you look good enough to eat.” I roll my eyes. “You don’t believe me?”
“Matty, I’m nothing special. I’m just me.”
He scoffs then whirls me around so I’m facing the mirror again. “Look at yourself, Rosie. You’re perfection from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.”
I do as he says and look at myself, trying to see what he sees, but I can’t. I look like an imposter in these clothes. Like a little girl playing dress-up in mommy’s finest. My gaze turns to Matthew. He’s smiling and happy. He no longer looks like he’s carrying the whole world on his shoulders. Guilt bubbles up inside me. I know one of the reasons he’s so happy is that he thinks the new medications are working.
Matthew trails kisses up and down the side of my neck, distracting me from my morose thoughts. “You taste so fucking sweet.” He licks and nips until my pussy is wet and needy. “So addicting,” he groans. “One taste is never enough.”
I tilt my head, encouraging his seductive assault. God, it feels so damn good. I feel like I’ve been starving all my life for his touch. It both destroys and rejuvenates. I moan when Matthew starts lifting the hem of my dress. He pulls another moan from my lips when his fingers slip into my panties.
“You’re soaked, sweetheart.”
“Yessss…” I hiss.
“Open your eyes, Rosie. Watch. See what I see every time I look at you,” Matthew commands, and I’m powerless to deny him.
I do exactly what he says. I open my eyes and watch his big hand hidden beneath my skimpy lace panties as he rubs tight circles around my sensitive clit. His other hand dances over my stomach and up to cup one of my breasts. My head falls back on his shoulder as I rock against his hand, chasing the pleasure I know only he can give.
His hand slaps down on my clit. “I said watch.”
Oh, God. My pussy clenches around nothing as heat burns through my core. I’m a prisoner to his commands, unable to deny him I open my eyes and do exactly what he wants—I watch as he unravels me with one hand on my clit and one on my nipple.
I try to see what he sees, and for the first time ever, I don’t see my brokenness. I see a woman flushed with lust, blue eyes hooded and bright with life, pink lips parted on a moan. My focus moves to Matthew, and my knees nearly buckle at the dark desire I see in his eyes.
“Do you see?” he growls against my ear, taking the lobe between his teeth nipping.
“I see,” I gasp around the small hurt.
His fingers move with more purpose, sliding down and dragging my wetness up and around my clit. “You’re going to come for me, my beautiful Rosie. You’re going to come all over my fingers so I can lick them clean of your sweetness.”
Oh, God. He’s right. I am going to come. He kisses and nips at my neck until the pain and pleasure are confused in my mind, and I only feel pleasure. He pinches my nipple and slaps my clit at the same time. It’s all I can handle. I’m flung into an earth-shattering orgasm.
I fly apart into a million bright shining pieces, then I’m put back together again. Reborn into a different version of myself. Someone worthy of the man I love with all my broken pieces.
My core clenches as I watch Matthew do exactly what he said. He lifts his fingers to his mouth and licks and sucks my release from them. I wriggle against his erection—wanting, needing, craving. I never thought I could want something so much in my life.
He twirls me around and crushes his lips to mine, sharing my taste with me. It’s so dirty and sexy. I kiss him hungrily. I want everything this man can give me. I latch onto the lightness he’s gifted me with. The darkness that taunts me has been temporarily snuffed out, leaving only happiness in its place.
I’m not foolish enough to think it’s gone for good. It’s still there, biding its time. Waiting to tempt me into its inky depths again.
“We should go,” Matthew pants against my lips.
“We could stay,” I say, tempting him by rubbing against his hard length.
With great reluctance, he pulls away from me. “I’m taking you on a proper date. I won’t be dissuaded by your sexy body, minx.”
Minx.
I’ve been called any number of names in regard to the sexual desires I evoke in men—slut, whore, and worse—I like minx. Minx is sexy and powerful, not dirty and shameful. Empowered, I push against Matthew’s resolve. Pressing my body into his, cupping his erection in my hand.
“I think we should stay. I want you, Matty. Please, don’t deny me again. You’ve been so careful with me. I’m not made of porcelain. You won’t break me.” My words have a double meaning. They promise that he won’t break my body or my mind. Seeing those pictures of me closed this part of us off. He’s been so careful of me. Not pushing things beyond sweet kisses and platonic touches. Even during the fog of the medication, the only time I felt even a hint of life was from his touch. He’s always been that way. He brings me back to life.
Matthew pulls away again, but this time it’s with a pained look on his face. “Remember what I said?”
“That when you take me, it will be on your terms.”
He gives me a devilish grin. “Exactly. Let’s go.”
Matthew threads his fingers through mine and leads me to the car. This one is different than the big black SUVs. It’s sporty and screams money. He helps me into my seat and buckles me in, taking the opportunity to brush against my nipples. By his smirk, he knows exactly what he’s doing.
The whole way to the restaurant, Matthew keeps a hand on my thigh. What should be an innocent touch becomes so much more as his fingertips circle and tease my inner thigh. So close yet so far away from where I want him.
“Where is Slade?” I ask in a sad attempt to distract myself from his maddening touch.
“Two cars behind us.”
I turn in my seat and see the familiar black SUV. “Is it really necessary for him to follow us? It’s been weeks without Grant doing anything.”
“It’s necessary. Grant’s biding his time. I have no doubt that he’s just waiting for an opportunity. I refuse to give him one. Your safety is my number one priority.”
I should argue because it seems silly to have Slade following me around everywhere when there doesn’t seem to be an imminent threat. It’s hard to tell Matthew he’s being over the top when I know he’s saying in his own way how much he loves me.
29
Matthew
It wasn’t my plan to touch Rose. I’m a weak bastard, though. One look at her in that sexy black dress shor
t-circuited my brain. The only thing running through my mind was getting my hands on her. I’ve been so damn careful to not push her too far. Seeing those pictures devastated Rose, and then she sunk into depression… I couldn’t take advantage of her when she needed me to be her rock. I shoved my desires down, giving her what she needed.
I can’t help but wonder if that was the right thing to do. Seeing her fall apart at my hands sparked life back into her eyes. She’s open and engaged for the first time in weeks. Her smiles come easily, and her laughter is joyful. I didn’t realize how brittle her laugh has been until tonight.
Looking back over the last week, I see something I hadn’t before. Rose has been putting on a show for me. I don’t know how I didn’t realize it sooner. I think I hoped so hard for her to snap out of it that I blinded myself to what was right in front of me.
I hate to turn our light-hearted conversation to harder things, but now that I’m seeing things more clearly, I have to know. “We need to talk.”
Rose looks down at her hands. She’s a smart girl, she knows that those words usually mean bad things. I don’t like being the one to chase away her smiles. I console myself in the knowledge that this is for the best. And that’s all I want for her. I want her to be happy, healthy, and mine.
“Sweetheart, you’re struggling. It’s killing me to see you like this. Please, tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.”
“The doctor said it would take time.” She refuses to look at me when she says it. She’s hiding something from me.
“It’s more than that, and you know it. Don’t lie to me.”
Her eyes grow watery, and she twists her napkin between her hands. She looks up at me, and whatever she sees on my face has hers crumpling with sadness, and those tears she was holding back slip silently down her cheeks. Seeing the pain she’s been hiding makes the beast inside me roar to the surface. I want to destroy anything that dares to upset her.
Unforgettable (Black Rose Doms Book 1) Page 18