by Hamel, B. B.
She shrugs. “I might not. Ride into a gunfight? Lots of people wouldn’t.”
“I was a doctor, once upon a time. I can help. I couldn’t stay back if… you know. If I could save a life.”
She nods and smiles at me, cocking her head slightly. “Yeah, okay then. I can see why he likes you so much.”
I blush a little bit. It’s quiet outside and I realize that I haven’t heard any shots since we came inside.
“Quiet now,” Faye says, reading my mind.
“Think they’re gone?”
“Could be. Probably ran out of ammo.”
I frown a little. “What’s the point of this?”
She’s quiet for a second and suddenly she looks like an old woman even though she can’t be much past fifty.
“Out here, the law’s always been a little… flexible. People think that just because they live away from society that they don’t have to be civilized. Big rangers have been fighting each other basically forever and now the Bell family wants to move in on Connor. Maybe they think he’s weak, I don’t know. It’s just the way things are.”
“Then things are broken,” I say fiercely.
“You’re right. But try explaining it to those young kids over there,” she says softly. “They won’t forget this. And one day they might be willing to get into a fight because they think it’s what you do. It would be even worse if Connor let them go out there. On and on it’d go, never getting better. Just people worshipping their guns and their violence and pretending it’s all in the name of freedom.” She sounds disgusted and tired all at once.
“So this was just the start of it then?” I ask her softly.
“Just the start. I’m praying Connor can think of a way out before it gets worse, but I don’t know what he can do. It always gets worse before it gets better.”
I chew my lip and she smiles at me before walking away. I can see the worry in her and in the way she drapes an arm over the shoulders of her daughter. Her husband looks distantly at the wall like he’s seeing well beyond it.
Bryant and Connor come back a few minutes later, looking grim. Connor motions for the cowboys and cowgirls. “We’re riding out,” he says. “Get your shit.”
I frown at Connor as he turns to me. He takes my hands in his. “They’re gone,” he says quietly. “We’re going to follow their tracks and make sure they’re not coming back tonight.”
“Are you sure?” I ask him.
“It’ll be okay. I just want to see where they go… if they really are the Bells.”
“Of course they are.”
He nods but doesn’t answer, looking concerned. “Listen, just stay here tonight, okay? Stay inside. Go to bed if you can. I’ll be back late.”
“Will you come see me when you’re back?”
He nods once and kisses my cheek. “I’ll be back.”
Without another word, he leaves the room, followed by Bryant and the young cowboys and cowgirls. They look grim but determined.
I’m left with Faye and her family. I smile at them sadly before taking my leave and heading back to my room. I shower and crawl into bed, exhausted. I don’t think I can sleep but sleep must take me anyway. I dream of burning hay and screaming guns.
A shadow in the night wakes me up with rough lips brushing against my cheek. “Go back to sleep,” he whispers in my ear.
I murmur something and roll over, lost to the world.
14
Connor
I’m exhausted the next day but I know there’s nothing to be done about it.
We rode out last night and followed the ATV tracks up until they cut across a river and onto Bell land. We didn’t follow them further, but I didn’t need to see much more.
I get a few hours of sleep after checking on Holly and wake up early. Smoldering husks of burnt hay bales still drift smoke into the hazy early morning air as I walk across my land. The ground is torn up from tire tracks and spent bullet casings litter the grass like jewels.
I never wanted it to come to this. I don’t like the Bell family but I was always kind to them anyway. I overlooked their transgressions and even tried to reach out a helping hand from time to time. Still, it was never enough. The only thing I could do that would be good enough for them would be to leave here completely and let them have all my damn land.
Greed and anger, that’s all it is, that’s all it ever is.
I sigh and pull out my phone. I make a quick call, slip it back into my jeans, then get to work.
I stomp out the embers of the first bale I come to then start cleaning up the hay. It’s slow work, gathering up the ashes into a wheelbarrow, but as I work the others slowly start to help out. Soon, all the cowboys and cowgirls have shovels and are working quietly, shoveling out the ash and dumping it over near the stream.
It takes most of the day. Holly joins for a bit before going back to check on Dodger. I work and work without complaint, and when the work is done, I know there’s more to do.
“Go check the herd,” I say to Tina. “Bring everyone else.”
She nods and turns away. “Got it.”
“No guns,” I say.
She hesitates a second, just a fraction of a step, but she doesn’t argue.
I sigh and turn away. Damn girl was going to do something stupid, I can tell. Hopefully she’ll listen.
I head into the barn and find Holly in Dodger’s stall. He still looks tired and is breathing heavy, but he’s still alive.
“What do you think?” I ask her.
“About the burning hay bales and the gunfire?” she asks. “Or the impending ranch war?”
“About the horse.”
“Oh, him.” She laughs lightly. “He doesn’t seem so important now, does he?”
“He does to me,” I say softly.
She frowns and looks away. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” I step closer to her. “I know this is all crazy to you. I won’t ask you to stay any longer.”
She looks surprised at that. “You want me to leave?”
“It’d be safer,” I say. “Bells have no quarrel with you. Hell, they might want to hire you one day.”
“I wouldn’t work for them.”
“Sure, you would,” I say with a smile. “Their horses aren’t evil, are they?”
She groans. “Why do you have to be such an asshole?”
I laugh and step closer to her. “Seriously, Holly. You should go.”
“I don’t want to. Dodger isn’t out of the woods yet.”
“Dodger will be fine. And if he isn’t, it won’t be your fault.”
She doesn’t meet my gaze, just runs her hands along his flank. “No,” she says finally. “I don’t think I’ll go. I don’t think you’re going to start a war.”
I sigh and lean up against the wall. “Did I ever tell you what my parents did for a living?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “You just said you’re from around here.”
“My dad was a ranch hand and my mom cleaned houses.” I smile a little, staring down at the floor. “I hated them for it.”
Holly leans up against the wall next to me. “Why?”
“I hated how hard they worked, how dirty they got. I thought I was… I thought I was above it. Isn’t that disgusting?”
She’s quiet for a second. “You were just a kid.”
“I thought that I was better than them when I got that football scholarship. I thought I had gotten away when I got pulled into the NFL. I thought I could finally prove how much better I was.”
“Why?” she asks softly.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I guess I hated this place. I hated what the people here had to do to survive. Scrounge and scrape and fight. I told myself I wouldn’t do it, but here I am.”
“You don’t have to fight, Connor.”
“I know,” I say sadly. “But try explaining that to them out there. Those kids, this is all they know. They’re like I was, except they don’t hate it here. They love this l
and and this way of life. But it doesn’t love them. It doesn’t love anyone. It’s harsh and doesn’t give a damn if you’re good or bad. It’ll reward evil as easily as good. That’s why people like the Bells can flourish.”
“So, what? You want to punish them? Going to war isn’t going to solve anything.”
I nod slowly. “I know. I know. I just don’t know any other way.”
“There has to be something.”
I smile a little bit. “Well, maybe…” I trail off as a sound grabs my attention. “Maybe that something just arrived.”
Holly looks confused as I get up and walk out of the barn. I hear her follow as I walk across the paddock and toward an old pick-up truck that’s pulling down the dirt road toward the main house. The truck parks next to Holly’s and a large man gets out, fat around the middle, wearing overalls and a trucker hat, chewing on a cigarette.
“Tom,” I say with a wide grin. “Glad you got here so fast.”
“You called in a damn favor, Connor,” the big man says, shaking my hand. “Since I owe you one, here I am.”
“Did you bring it?”
“Of course I did. Best I could get on short notice.”
My grin turns into a beaming smile as he pulls down the hitch on his truck. Inside are five unmarked cardboard boxes.
“What are those?” Holly asks.
I glance back at her. “Tom, this is Holly, she’s Roy’s new girl.”
“Doctor, huh?” Tom grunts. “Nice to meet you.” He shakes her hand and gives me a look, one I know very well. Pretty girl, huh?
“Those are that other way I mentioned,” I say to her as I grab a box, pull it out, and put it on the ground. It’s surprisingly heavy. I pull open a flap and Tom peers over my shoulder.
“Like I said, best I could do,” he says. “Night vision, of course. Each one has its own little drive so if the network goes down, they’ll still record. Wireless with solar batteries that should last for a couple days. You can set them to only film when they sense motion, that’s what I’d do.” Tom cocks his head with a confused look on his face. “What the hell do you need fifty cameras for, Connor?”
I grin at him and look back at Holly. She looks almost as confused but slowly it dawns on her and she laughs.
“Just a little skirmish I’m having, is all,” I say to the big man.
His face darkens. “I heard a rumor. Heard there were gunshots up these parts last night. Like a damn army came through.”
“Don’t worry. Nobody’s hurt and nobody’s going to be.”
He just sighs and shakes his head. “Fucking ranchers. When will you folks ever learn?”
“We’re learning now, Tom. Thanks for these.”
I unload the other boxes and shake his hand.
“Yeah, well, they’re loaners. Don’t get them broken, okay?”
“I won’t.”
“Good. Take care now. Good luck.” He shakes his head, gets into his truck, and pulls out again.
Holly bends over and opens a box. It’s packed with the video cameras, the kind of things you’d see hanging off a bank, but each of them has a stake protruding from its base.
“What are you going to do with all these?” she asks me.
I pick one up and hold it in my hand. Light thing, for what it can do. Light for what it could mean.
“Thing about these parts is, people think the law doesn’t extend out here,” I say to her. “But you know what? It does, it really does.”
She screws up her face then laughs. “You want to catch them, don’t you?”
“That’s the thing they’d never expect. They’d never guess one of their own would rat them out to the sheriff instead of fighting them.”
She shakes her head, grinning ear to ear. “So they won’t be careful.”
“Of course they won’t.”
“That’s almost devious.”
“It’s fucking cowardly, is what it is, but like I said. I hate the way things are here and I want to do better. This is better than murdering some stupid fucking kid over some goddamn stupid land. Or worse yet, getting one of my people killed.” I shake my head, feeling the rage wash over me. “I won’t have it, Holly. I won’t let it happen.”
“I know you won’t.” She steps toward me and I pull her against me. God, it feels good to press her body tight against mine. I hold her there then kiss her slow and deep, tongue tasting her.
We pull away finally and she grins at me. “Come on. I’ll help you set them up.”
“Don’t you have something better to do, doc?”
She pushes my chest with a smile. “What could be more important than this? Come on, idiot.”
We unpack the boxes together and get to work, and I swear there’s a smile on my face the whole afternoon working side by side with her.
15
Holly
It’s another clear and beautiful morning the day after we set up the cameras. Connor spent all evening testing them while I had dinner with everyone, drank a little too much, and ended up in bed earlier than normal.
I’m a little hung over, but it’s not too bad. I head into the barn to check on Dodger like usual, feeling a lightness in my step. Fear has been pushing me down ever since the other night, fear that someone would get killed.
But Connor’s plan should avoid all that.
I step into the barn with a smile on my face. I walk back to Dodger’s stall and look at the horse and stop in my tracks.
He looks good. Really good. He’s standing straight, breathing normally. His coloring’s right and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that was one completely healthy horse.
I should feel good. I should smile. But instead, the dread comes back in force.
It hits me all at once. If Dodger is better, I have no reason to be out here anymore. Roy won’t let me stay here and still keep my job if I’m not working and I can’t imagine Connor’s going to keep paying Roy just so I can sit around and do nothing. He won’t keep me on retainer like that.
No, now that Dodger’s better, I’m going to have to go back to Bozeman.
The thought makes my chest tight. I lean up against the stall door and groan softly to myself. Dodger’s breath hits the back of my neck as the horse nuzzles me.
“There, there, boy,” I say, stroking him softly. “I’m happy you’re better, I really am. I’ve just been so happy here. I really love it here, you know?”
The horse snorts like he understands me.
“This thing with Connor… I think it’s real,” I say to Dodger softly. “You know? I think it’s really real. I’ve never felt this way about someone before and the thought of giving it up makes me want to scream.”
Dodger snorts again. I stroke him fondly.
“I’m happy you’re better. I really am.”
I head into the stall and do my check.
Sure enough, he’s looking good. I give him his usual dose of antibiotics but I’d guess I can take him off this entirely in a week, and in another week he’ll be walking around on his own again.
It worked. I honestly can’t believe it worked.
And now I’m going to have to go back to Bozeman, back to my lonely apartment, away from these people that I’ve grown to…
To, what? To love?
I sigh and stroke Dodger’s flank as footsteps approach down the barn.
“Morning,” Connor calls out. “You in there?”
I step out of the stall, brushing my hands off on my jeans. “I’m here,” I say. “Morning.”
He grins at me. “Heard the cowgirls showed you a good time last night.”
I groan as he scoops me into his arms and kisses me. I let out a soft laugh. “I’m never drinking with Tina again.”
“That girl’s insane,” he says, nodding. “Violet’s not much better.”
“Where’d you find them? Seriously, I don’t know how anyone can drink so much.”
“They don’t make ‘em like they do here.” He laughs and kisses me one more
time. “How’s my horse?”
I feel a tinge of panic but I push it away. I can’t lie about how Dodger’s doing. He cares way too much, and besides, he’ll see for himself.
“Good,” I say. “Really, really good. Honestly, I think he’ll make a full recovery.”
His eyes light up with pure, incredible joy. He practically runs into the stall.
“Dodger!” he says, stroking his horse, nuzzling him. The horse snorts and nuzzles him back and I smile as I watch him talk softly.
“I can’t believe you did it,” he says to me after a few minutes alone. “Really, I don’t know how I can repay you.”
“Don’t worry, Roy will make sure you do.”
He laughs, grinning huge. “Wow. You really cured him.”
“Well, not cured. He’s still an old horse, remember. You can’t work him hard.”
“Still. He’s so much better.”
“He’ll live a few more years, that’s for sure.”
He pulls me against him and hugs me tight. “God, I’m so happy. I really am.” He kisses me again and hugs me against his muscular chest.
I wish I could be that happy. But I just keep thinking about how I’m going to have to go back to Bozeman now. If not today, then tomorrow. I have to go back, an hour back to Bozeman, and I won’t be able to see him in the morning. I won’t see the sun rise over these hills, I won’t see the cowboys fighting and laughing, the cowgirls mocking them, Faye smiling at her daughter.
I’ll have to go back and leave this life behind.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, sensing something. I shake my head and look away. I don’t want him to see the tears in my eyes.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
He tilts my chin toward him. “Holly.”
I blink once, twice, then pull away. I step away from him and cross my arms over my chest. “I’m going to have to go back to Bozeman,” I say in a rush, letting it just spill out. “You know that, don’t you?”
He blinks. Clearly he hadn’t thought about it.
“I mean, now that Dodger’s better,” I say softly. “That’s where I live, where my job is. I was only here to take care of Dodger but now that he’s better…” I trail off.