There was only one place she could think clearly—the only place she’d ever been able to push through the noise and find herself.
She turned away from the diner, crossed the street and headed for the curving stone wall. On the other side, the beach, the ocean, the waves that crashed over smoothed stones, welcomed her back without hesitation.
She’d been unable to bear even the idea of visiting another beach, another ocean, while she’d lived in South Carolina. She’d gone out of her way to avoid it. But here, now, when her mind and heart spun, she went on autopilot and crossed over the stone wall to the ocean beyond.
Voices bounced along the air behind her. This early in the year, in these cooler temperatures, those who had ventured to the beach were wrapped up far more than they would be in just a few months. Smatterings of people drifted past as she approached the shoreline. She bent down, removed her shoes and left them on the sand as she stood ankle-deep in the foamy tide while dark gray storm clouds gathered in the distance.
The second the water lapped over her feet, she sobbed and covered her mouth to catch the sound. Whatever had broken inside of her all those years ago shifted, like the tectonic plates of the San Andreas. The pain she’d banked surged and, for once, she gave in and allowed the tears to flow as free as the ocean.
She heard a car door slam in the distance, the sound jarring her out of the first moment of peace she’d had in years. The back of her neck prickled and she turned.
The redheaded woman striding toward her was completely familiar even after all these years. The black cargo pants, matching black T-shirt with the Butterfly Harbor Fire Department logo on the upper right side, the attitude-heavy swagger as she marched down the beach...
“I thought maybe I was seeing a ghost.” Frankie Bettencourt maintained her distance, but stopped close enough for Brooke to feel the laser heat of her eyes. “Brooke Ardell.” She planted her hands on her hips and stared. “What are you doing back in Butterfly Harbor?”
“Enjoying the beach.” Brooke tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear and under her cap. “It’s as beautiful as I remember. You’re looking good, Frankie. Haven’t changed much.” Even before Frankie had been part of the fire department, she’d dressed and acted as if she was. Probably came from her father being chief. Firefighting was in the Bettencourt blood. Well, for Frankie, at least. “How’s Monty?”
“He’s good. What are you doing here, Brooke?” Frankie asked again.
Brooke might have winced, but she was determined to do things right this time. “I wanted to see my daughter.”
“Huh.” Frankie’s eyes narrowed and she glanced away. “Same old Brooke. Always about what you want. You ever stop to think Mandy might not need to see you?”
The question stung, not because she hadn’t asked it of herself, but because it came from a woman who had once been as close as a sister. But she wasn’t going to fold. Not when she’d come this far. “I’m sure Sebastian’s told her as little about me as possible.”
Frankie looked shocked. “If you really think that about him, you never knew him at all.”
Hope that Brooke never dared expect ballooned inside of her. “She knows about me?”
“Well, she sure doesn’t think the stork delivered her.” Frankie let out a breath and dragged a hand through her hair, a ring glinting on her finger.
“You’re married.” Envy panged through her before she reminded herself she’d had that same opportunity. Only instead of embracing the chance, instead of believing Sebastian when he’d said that he didn’t need her parents or their money, she’d let her mother’s threats terrify her into leaving them behind.
“Not yet. In April.”
“BethAnn mentioned him.” Even in her anger, Brooke could see Frankie’s gaze soften at the mention of her fiancé. “Roman, I think she said his name is.”
“That’d be him. Look, Brooke—”
“I’m not here to mess things up, Frankie.” How could she explain what she needed to do when she hadn’t been able to explain it to herself? “I—This is just something I have to do. I made mistakes. So many mistakes. I don’t know that you can understand—”
“How you could abandon Sebastian and your six-week-old daughter without ever looking back? You’ve got that right.” Frankie took a step forward. “He was an amazing boy, Brooke. He’s an even more amazing man. And as a father? He’s out of the stratosphere. If you think you can just pop back up as if nothing has happened—”
“I don’t think that.” The snap in Brooke’s voice seemed to surprise Frankie, who arched an eyebrow. Brooke gripped the thin gold chain around her neck as if it was a lifeline. “I know what I did. Don’t believe for one second I walked away and forgot. And I have no doubt I did damage.”
Frankie kept those sharp green eyes pinned on her. “Sebastian’s done all right. Mandy’s an amazing girl. Turns out she didn’t need you.”
No, Brooke thought even as the pain struck dead center in her heart. Her daughter hadn’t needed her. “I truly didn’t come here with any expectations other than to see Mandy.”
“And have you? Seen her?”
Frankie already knew the answer. Brooke could see it in her locked jaw and intense glare. There was no point in lying. “Yes.”
“Good.” Frankie pulled out her sunglasses and pushed them onto her face. “Then you can leave. Go back to wherever you’ve been the past fifteen years, Brooke. We don’t need or want you here.”
The blatant statement had Brooke sucking in a hard breath. Well, there it was. The truth. The truth she’d been expecting and yet had hoped to never hear. “I don’t suppose it would make any difference to tell you I’ve missed you, too. You and Monty. Everyone. All of...this.” She waved her arm toward the ocean. “I just want Mandy and Sebastian to understand—”
“You’re right. It doesn’t make a difference. To me, anyway. Good luck with everyone else.” Frankie walked away, each step sending up plumes of sand around her thick work boots.
“Well, that could have gone better,” Brooke mumbled as pride swept through her. She hadn’t crumbled under Frankie’s deadly stare, cowered or run away.
She’d stood her ground.
And that was progress.
CHAPTER THREE
IT TOOK DRIVING nearly a half hour before Sebastian was thinking clearly enough to realize where he’d find Brooke.
The what-ifs and unanswered questions were flying through his mind like a pack of butterflies. Whatever Brooke’s reason for being here, he’d simply listen and get her on her way out of town. The last thing he wanted was for Mandy to get caught up in whatever drama her mother was living through. Whatever awakening of conscience Brooke had experienced that had finally gotten her to show even an ounce of curiosity about their daughter would be addressed, then dismissed. Mandy didn’t need her. He didn’t need her.
They didn’t need her.
He drove slowly down Monarch Lane, scanning the beach. It wasn’t even one o’clock yet; the afternoon tourist crowd had only now begun to drift out of stores and down the hill from the Flutterby in search of tasty temptations from the diner, the ice-cream shop or the bakery.
Even as he wondered if he’d recognize her, he saw her. Standing at the water’s edge, bare feet dipped into the ocean, arms crossed tight around her torso. The flash of her blond hair caught against the wind like the gossamer wings of a butterfly. His stomach knotted, tight and hard, and he wrenched the steering wheel to the side to pull into one of the spots near a stairway to the sand. He parked, jumped out and jammed his keys into his pocket.
Someone whistled, a familiar, sharp sound that had him stopping in his tracks. He looked behind him and found Frankie lounging against the oversize station-house SUV she’d named Dwayne, after her favorite action-movie hero. “Took you long enough,” Frankie called.
Sebastian backtracked. “Di
d Monty call you?”
“As soon as you called him.” Frankie’s eyes glistened with concern. “Is Mandy all right?”
“Better than me right now.” He looked at Brooke, who simply stood at the ocean’s edge staring into the distance. “You talk to her?”
“Yep.”
Frankie was many things: a dedicated firefighter, a good sister, friend and neighbor, but she was also loyal to a fault. And once crossed, it would be near impossible to win her back, she placed that much honor on, well...honor. “Did she say why she’s here?”
“She said she wants to see her daughter,” Frankie said. “For the record, she admitted she’d already done that, so I informed her that she was welcome to move on.”
“Frankie.” Sebastian sighed. He loved her to death, but she also had the habit of being a double-headed hammer when it came to protecting those she cared about. “What are you doing still hanging around?”
“I was waiting for you to turn up. As soon as Monty told me she was back, I knew where she’d be. How come it took you so long?”
“I had to clear the panic from my head.”
She nodded in sympathy. “She’s not going to take Mandy from you, Seb.”
“So Monty said. So Mandy said.” Why couldn’t he bring himself to believe either of them? Probably because this had always been the nightmare scenario. That one day Brooke and her well-to-do parents would show up and gain custody of Mandy.
“It’s not going to happen. I won’t let it happen. No one in this town will.” Frankie rested a hand on his arm. “You’re ours. She’s ours. You two always have been. You always will be. So go talk to Brooke. Find out why she’s really here. Then tell her to get gone.”
“You’re not going to give her an inch, are you?”
Frankie glanced away, but not before he caught the flash of pain in his friend’s eyes. “It was bad enough she left without saying goodbye to me. That I could forgive. But what she did to you, to Mandy? She never once reached out. Didn’t even try to get in touch. Didn’t call or write or...” Her gaze sharpened. “I don’t know that there’s anything she could ever do or say to make me forget that.” She brushed a kiss on his cheek. “If you need extra time, Monty can bring Mandy by the station tonight. We’ve got the room and Roman’s mom is cooking dinner. Homemade pasta or something equally fabulous, I’m sure. In fact, scratch that. Come by and get Man. We’ll have enough to feed an army.”
“We’ll do that. Thanks, Frankie.” He gave her hand a squeeze and watched her climb into her vehicle and drive away. He was officially out of excuses. “Better get this over with.”
He took the walk slowly, pinning his eyes on Brooke’s back as he trudged through the sand. A cool breeze had kicked up, but it blew through him, exhilarated him. Steeled him. She’d tucked in on herself, drawn her arms tight, as if trying to disappear. He remembered she did that when she was struggling, but he pushed aside that tinge of empathy as he stepped up behind her.
The years, the pain and the hurt faded, and for a moment he was nineteen again. Nineteen and completely, hopelessly in love with a girl he knew was far out of his reach. A girl he’d fallen heart over sense for the moment he’d seen her in the high-school cafeteria their first week of sophomore year. But he wasn’t that boy anymore. He was what her decisions had made him: independent, focused and a father raising their girl. Alone.
What did he say to her after all this time? What words could possibly carry them over the past? “Some things never change.”
She stiffened, spun around and nearly toppled backward when her feet stuck in the sand. He reached out and grabbed her arms to steady her, held on to her a bit longer than was wise.
“Sebastian.”
He dropped his hands. The way she said his name, the way she’d always said his name, not only thrilled him, but also pushed through him like a dull knife.
“Should have known right away this was where I’d find you.” His eyes drank her in, as if he’d been dying of thirst. The girl was still there, behind the drawn face, delicate features and bright blue-green eyes. The same eyes he saw in the face of the child they shared. She was thinner now, thinner than he remembered her being, and her hair had been bobbed to her chin. Even in the jeans and sweater she looked polished. Elegant. And still out of his league. “You never could resist the ocean.”
“Not this ocean, anyway.” Was he looking at her with the same ferocity, the same hope, she gazed at him with? “You look good, Sebastian.”
“Thanks. You look—”
“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t. But thank you. How did you know...?”
She was right. She looked frail. Fragile. As if a sharp wind was going to blow her over. There were dark circles under her eyes. Her skin was stretched thin over her cheeks and her entire body seemed to be trembling. “Mandy called me after you left the bookstore.”
Brooke’s expression seemed caught between shock and wonder. “She knew who I was?”
“Of course, she knew.” A surge of anger swept through him. “You’re her mother.” What did she think? That he’d have erased her from their daughter’s existence?
“I assumed... I mean, I thought...” Her smile was quick, as if a reflex.
“Then you do us both a disservice.” It might have been easier if he had. Then he wouldn’t be in the situation he was now. But he’d always been up-front and honest with Mandy about everything; even when it hurt. “She’s had a picture of the three of us by her bed all her life. The one Monty took when I signed the lease for the store.”
It had been a good day. A perfect day. Mandy had been born just a month before and Sebastian had taken the first step toward his dream: owning his own business. Two weeks later, Brooke was gone. No note. No explanation, other than a letter that arrived weeks later that simply said she was sorry.
“Was she angry?” Brooke asked. “Mandy? About me coming to the store?”
“Mandy doesn’t get angry,” Sebastian told her. “Much,” he added, remembering one particular temper tantrum she’d thrown at the age of six, when he’d said no to a puppy someone had been giving away outside a grocery store. “She’s more confused than anything, I think.”
“I just needed to see her, Sebastian.”
He didn’t believe her for one second. “As Frankie said, now you’ve done that.”
“Frankie, yeah.” Brooke let out a sad laugh. “I told her and I’ll tell you—I’m not here to cause trouble, Sebastian.”
“Aren’t you?” It seemed to him she should have realized just by showing up she was doing precisely that.
“No.” She looked genuinely offended. “No, I promise, this is just something I needed to do. I needed to see her. Maybe get to know her. I know she doesn’t need me as a mother—”
“No.” Sebastian felt his temper snap. “She doesn’t. She’s had plenty of female role models. Frankie especially.”
Brooke nodded. “I get that. I do. But maybe I could be her friend. It doesn’t have to be anything she doesn’t want it to be. I know I don’t have a right to ask.”
No, she didn’t. Sebastian bit the inside of his cheek. Mandy had made him promise to be nice even though nice wasn’t going to get him what he wanted: Brooke Ardell out of town and out of their lives once and for all.
“Mandy knows her own mind,” he said reluctantly. “If she wants to see you, if she wants to talk to you, she’ll say so. That’s assuming you’re sticking around for a while.”
“You won’t stop her?”
It was a challenge he hadn’t expected to hear from her.
“There’s nothing stopping Mandy from doing anything she wants. Fortunately, for me, she hasn’t wanted to do anything dangerous or that could hurt her. So far.” But Brooke could hurt her. Even more than she already had.
“Then yes, I’m staying.” The declaration seemed to surprise her as m
uch as it did him.
Sebastian shrugged. He wasn’t sure he believed her. “It’s none of my business what you do. Are you staying at BethAnn’s place?” Given he hadn’t heard she’d taken up residence at the Flutterby Inn or one of the smaller bed-and-breakfasts—and he would have most definitely heard—BethAnn Bottomley’s home was the best assumption.
“Yes. For now.”
“Good to know.”
“Sebastian...” She reached out for him, but he stepped away. Having her touch him again, and wanting to touch her again, made his entire body vibrate with longing. She’d been such an integral part of his life; she’d carved out her personal niche in his heart. He’d cordoned off that area when she’d left; he’d had to, in order to keep going. He couldn’t afford to let down that barrier now. Not with his daughter’s future at stake.
“It’s been fifteen years, Brooke.” He had to stay detached, had to stay rational and calm even while the urge to wrap her in his arms and welcome her home could have driven him to his knees. “Fifteen years and not a word. Not a single email or phone call or... You just forgot about us. Or pretended we didn’t exist. And while I could probably forgive you for doing that to me, how could you have done that to our little girl?”
She inched up her chin. Sebastian could see she wanted to speak, that she had something to say, but she sucked in one cheek as if biting down hard. “I did what I had to. But you’re right.” Her nod was one of recognition, but also seemed to bolster something inside of her, as if an important question had been answered. “I need to prove myself to you. To both of you. I’m willing to do that. If you give me the chance.”
Sympathy slipped in, with the barest hint of the love he’d had for the reserved, smart, beautiful, out-of-his-league girl who had been his focus since the day they’d met. He couldn’t afford to feel sorry for Brooke, or to even think about forgiving her. But attacking her when she was clearly suffering didn’t make him much of a man, did it? Certainly not the man who had, not so long ago, loved her.
A Match Made Perfect--A Clean Romance Page 4