by Grace Risata
Duke honestly reminded me of one of the meathead bodybuilders from that beachy shore reality TV hook-up show.
Yes, I have a guilty pleasure and it’s an addiction to all those dramatic ‘what will happen next’ programs that I can’t stop watching.
“So, Andi,” he continued, completely oblivious to the fact that I hadn’t spoken at all. “Tell me a little about yourself. Tyler can’t stop talking about you and raving that I have to meet this amazing friend of Cara’s. If I’d have known you were this gorgeous, I would have made him introduce us sooner.”
I raised an eyebrow and looked around in an attempt to find out if I was on Candid Camera or something. First of all, I was many things but ‘gorgeous’ was not one of them. Second of all, I hadn’t exactly gotten along like besties for life with Tyler, so I had a hard time believing he spoke about me in a positive manner. Thirdly, we still have that pesky dilemma about Duke’s suddenly non-existent girlfriend.
“What’s wrong?” Tyler asked, joining our conversation and standing so close to Cara that they might as well have been conjoined twins. The way he hung on her all the time was a bit over the top. “What are you looking for?”
“I think the correct question is ‘who’ is she looking for,” Cara offered on my behalf, hitting the nail on the head. “She might have expected to see Roman instead of Duke. After all, he’s usually the one that’s been showing up for our group outings.”
I shrugged with indifference, not wanting to look desperate and ask where the fuck he was and how come I got stuck with this guy in his place. So many questions, so few answers.
“Oh,” Tyler grunted in disgust. “You can just forget about Roman. He’s a moody bastard, Andi. I told Cara on day one that he wasn’t interested in anything romantic. Duke, however, is totally single and ready to meet that special lady. Aren’t you, buddy?”
“Hell yeah,” his friend replied eagerly, giving me a wink. “I’m also ready to hit a few strikes and knock down some pins. I’ve got to impress Andi with my awesome bowling skills.”
As if to prove his prowess, Duke held up both arms and flexed his muscles.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Cara teased. “Let’s get some shoes and do this!”
That’s how I found myself lacing up smelly red, green, and blue bowling shoes while desperately trying to reconcile the wide range of emotions gnawing at my subconscious.
I felt annoyance at the way Tyler just dismissed Roman like he never existed at all, confusion as to why I was being set up with Duke, hurt at not understanding why the sweet guy from last night would allow any of this, and regret for going out tonight. It was a lot less stressful holed up alone in my apartment.
Once we were seated in our orange plastic chairs, balls were chosen, and names were entered into the scoreboard, it was time to get down to business.
“Duke, you should probably be worried that Andi might beat you,” Cara stated conspiratorially as though she were confessing a major secret. “She used to bowl on a league and has a shelf full of trophies.”
“Oh, really?” he replied, scooting closer and putting an arm around the back of my chair. “Was that a league that all your co-workers bowled on too? Tyler tells me you work in the medieval room at the Penn Museum. That must be fascinating with all the knights and castles and swords and shit, huh?”
“Uh, no. I actually work in the Ancient Egypt department.”
“Yeah, that’s what I meant. The area that’s getting all those fancy crown jewels and stuff. What’s it like to work with those? Do you try them on and pretend to be royalty? You could be my princess anytime, sweetheart.”
“That’s not my department. I deal with mummies and artifacts,” I explained, rapidly losing my patience with this guy. “Besides, no one is allowed to go anywhere near the royal jewel exhibit until opening day. There will be a throng of security in place to make sure it stays safe.”
What kind of an idiot would entertain the notion that all the museum employees are just parading around wearing priceless necklaces belonging to famous kings and queens like it’s a damn fashion show?
“Oh yeah? What kind of security? Like armed guards and attack dogs? Or like laser beam alarm systems in those James Bond movies? One wrong step and the sirens start blaring while cops are called to the scene. Totally cool, Andi. Tell me more.”
“Actually, the jewels haven’t arrived yet,” I admitted. “But rumors are going around about the extreme measures intended to keep them from being stolen.”
“Really?” Duke asked, leaning closer and hanging on my every word as though I were about to tell him the meaning of life…or share the location of a gym/tanning/laundry/hair gel megastore.
“Yes,” I replied innocently, eager to find out the man’s level of gullibility. “I heard they had a security device that would decapitate any thief who tried to make off with the jewels. It works instantly, too. Just like that.”
I made a slicing motion across my throat and held back a smirk as his eyes grew wide in horror.
“For fuck’s sake, Andi,” Cara reprimanded. “What the hell is wrong with you? Quit messing with his head. He’s only trying to be friendly and ask about your job. She’s not being serious, Duke.”
He leaned back, narrowed his eyes, and gave me a dirty look.
“You shouldn’t tease people, sweetheart. Everyone might not be as easygoing as I am,” he warned, in what appeared to be a veiled threat.
Thankfully, it was my turn to throw the ball down the lane and hope for good results. As per usual, I got a strike on the first try. Turning back around to the group and expecting congratulations, I was met with something else entirely.
Duke leered at my ass like I was a fucking pole dancer shimmying on stage for money. I waited for him to pull out a dollar bill and try shoving it down my pants. Upon my returning to my seat, I purposely snagged a chair two away from Duke instead of sitting in the one next to him.
“I need to take a bathroom break,” Cara announced. “Andi, come with me.”
With an audible sigh, I followed her. Something tells me that I’m about to get in trouble.
Sure enough, she started in on me the second the ladies’ room door whooshed shut.
“What is your problem tonight? You were excited when I invited you to come bowling, but everything screeched to a halt as soon as you got here. What is the matter? You seem angry for some reason.”
“Yeah, I am kind of pissed off actually,” I replied, gearing up for a fight. “Who the hell is this moron and where’s Roman?”
My friend shook her head sadly and gave me some desperately needed information.
“Tyler is sick of Roman’s attitude and the way he treats people. From his behavior in the concert parking lot to the argument at the escape room, the guy is just no fun to be around. I think Tyler felt bad about the whole situation, so he wanted to make amends by introducing you to Duke. I mean…just look at the guy’s body language. Duke is totally into you, Andi. Roman is Tyler’s cousin, so he’s forced to be around him because they’re family. Duke is my boyfriend’s best friend…and he wants his best friend to get along with my best friend. It’s kind of like fate, actually. Tyler and I have insane chemistry, so why wouldn’t you and Duke have the same thing?”
Really? That’s her logic? I can think of a million reasons why I have no attraction to Duke.
“Doesn’t he already have a girlfriend? You know…the one that was supposed to go to the concert with you guys before Duke had to work late and bailed?”
“Oh, I guess they weren’t serious and had only gone out a few times or something. He had to cut her loose because she was super clingy and had bad breath. Just pop a mint and you’ll be fine. All I know is that Duke is totally over her and ready to move on to someone new. That’s why I jumped at the opportunity when Tyler suggested a real double date.”
“I’m not sure he’s my type,” I began, attempting to spell it out to her as politely as possible.
“I
understand that you’re intimidated because he’s got such a commanding presence about him,” she falsely assumed, “But don’t let that stop you. Can I give you a piece of advice?”
I nodded my head to indicate that she should continue. This ought to be interesting.
“You are a great catch, Andi. You just have to realize your worth and have more self-confidence. Let’s take a man, for example, and turn the tables on the whole situation.”
“What do you mean?”
“You find it perfectly acceptable to be all meek and mild, not daring to show your true self and take what you want. Pretend you were with a man like that. Would you be attracted to a guy with no self-esteem? If he constantly made comments putting himself down? ‘Oh, you need a microscope to see my dick,’ or ‘I shouldn’t eat that piece of cake because it will go right to my ass,’ or ‘I’m not good enough for you, I don’t know what you see in me!’ Comments like those would make a woman look elsewhere for a mate. I mean, really, why should we be any different than guys? Quit acting like you’re the one with no upper hand in the relationship, hold your head high, and be the queen that you are. Duke will be intrigued and need to find out more about this wild mystery woman. Blow him away with your awesomeness, Andi!”
“Fuck,” I mumbled, finally seeing the light. “You’re absolutely right.”
“I am?” she asked in surprise, not expecting me to have agreed with her so easily right off the bat.
“Yes. Women want an alpha male who knows how to be a strong leader and provider. We don’t want some cowering beta male that looks to us for approval and permission every ten seconds. It’s in our physical make-up to want the toughest, fastest, smartest, healthiest male in order to successfully continue the species.”
“In plain English, please?”
“Our pheromones seek out the best possible candidate for breeding purposes. No one is going to choose a weak mate.”
“Still sounding kind of scientific there, girl…”
“Ladies want to fuck hot dudes that don’t take shit from anyone, not screw the wimps that get sand kicked in their face at the beach.”
“Okay. That makes sense.”
“By that same train of thought, why would a man want a passive woman who doesn’t clearly express what she needs in return, constantly comes off as thinking she’s not good enough, and hides in the corner?”
“They don’t want that!” Cara exclaimed. “Do you get my point now? Why do you think I’m so fierce? Guys eat that up and come back for more. Just channel your inner diva and Duke will be all over you.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure he’s the one for me.” Unfortunately for her, I had no intention of wasting any of my time on that sleazeball. I had an entirely different target in mind. “Someone else caught my eye and we…um…we’re supposed to have a date tomorrow.
“Shut up!?! Why is this the first I’m hearing about your new man? When did all this happen? I just saw you on Wednesday and it’s only Saturday! Damn, you move fast. Did you meet someone at work? Don’t tell me you finally caved in and got a profile on a dating site? Tell me all the details!”
I was about to confess that the mystery man in question just so happened to be Roman, but Cara’s phone started pinging like crazy and interrupted us.
“Ah, shit,” she mumbled, pulling it out of her pocket and flicking the screen. “Tyler is so insecure sometimes. I can’t take a five second piss break without him blowing up my phone and telling me to hurry back because he misses me. While it’s sweet that he’s so obsessed with me, there’s such a thing as needing personal space. No one has ever been this passionate about me before.”
I don’t know that I’d use the word ‘passionate.’ More like ‘possessive’ and ‘controlling.’ But I’m not about to rain on her parade just yet.
With a shrug, she reapplied her make-up and made me a promise.
“I won’t force Duke on you anymore, and I don’t have to work tomorrow so we can have a long chat and catch up on all your gossip that I’ve apparently been missing. The suspense is going to kill me!”
We rejoined the men and got back to the game. Since it wasn’t my turn, I whipped out my phone and sent a text. I still had a little issue to resolve.
“I’m sorry to interrupt if you’re busy working on the roof, but could you call me when you take a break? I’m having a situation right now…”
I expected it to take a while for him to reply, so I stuck the thing back in my pocket and checked out the scoreboard. No one else had gotten a strike and it was my turn again. Reaching out to grab my ball, I nearly had a heart attack when my phone started ringing loudly.
Snatching it quickly, checking the caller ID, and pretending it was my sister, I made an excuse and walked out of anyone’s earshot toward the bathroom.
“Hi, we need to talk,” I spoke urgently, eager to have this conversation before Cara decided to check on me and see if everything was okay.
“What’s wrong, Andi? You sound upset,” Roman replied with concern. “I actually just got done with the roof, my tools are packed up, and I was headed home to shower. I hear loud noises in the background…where are you?”
“I’m at the bowling alley on Century Lane. Maybe you should ask me who I’m with.”
“Okay, who are you with? Don’t tell me that your sister is kicking your ass at bowling and you need me to help raise your score. I suck at bowling,” he admitted sheepishly.
“No, not even close,” I growled. “Cara called me and asked if I’d meet her here because she had a surprise for me. Guess what it was?”
“Something not pleasant judging by the tone of your voice…”
“No. Not pleasant at all. I was greeted by Cara, your cousin, and his best friend. Do you have any idea why Tyler would try to set me up with Duke? He’s a giant prick and keeps asking me ninety million questions about my job and calling me ‘sweetheart.’ Did you know about this?”
“Son of a bitch!” Roman literally shouted on the other end of the phone. “Tell me exactly where you are, Andi. I’ll be there as fast as I can. I knew nothing about any of this. If Duke tries to lay one finger on you, punch him in the face.”
I gave him the details on the bowling alley location and forced myself to return to the group while pretending that nothing was amiss. It was quite the task considering I now had even more unsolved mysteries.
What the hell kind of a scene was going to go down once Roman arrived, and why had he gotten so pissed off?
For some reason my life had become quite dramatic.
Chapter Twelve
Roman
“Take a deep breath and get your anger under control, asshole,” I told myself, hoping that by saying the words out loud they might have more of an impact.
Unfortunately they did not.
My hands shook on the steering wheel as I ran a red light and nearly took a corner on two wheels.
Yes, it could have been worse due to the fact that I was only about fifteen minutes away from the bowling alley when Andi called. However, that was the only positive thing working in my favor.
“Deep breath, control your emotions,” I again repeated as though it were some sort of mantra. It’s not my fault that I was a hothead with a temper…hell, that’s part of the DNA in our culture. I was born with genes that pretty much demanded I take revenge for all the wrongs perpetrated against me. I suppose you could say that’s the main reason I found myself trapped in the current situation.
“Deep breath, formulate a plan of attack, and above all else, do not resort to violence,” I spat through gritted teeth while jumping a curb and coming to a screeching halt in the bowling alley parking lot. If I started throwing punches, it would only lead to me getting kicked out of a public establishment and possibly thrown in jail. Due to my prior experiences, another run-in with the law could be devastating and threaten every carefully laid plan I’d worked so hard to prepare.
Taking one last deep breath, I tried to find my inner zen while r
ummaging around the duffel bag on the passenger seat of my truck. I was trained to take pride in my appearance and there was no way in hell I could let myself be seen looking like this. Gazing down at my tar stained jeans and ripped shirt, I frowned in disgust.
Fortunately I had a spare black t-shirt and pair of workout shorts in my gym bag. It wasn’t anything special, not by a long shot, but it sure beat my current clothes. After a quick change while being cautious not to expose any delicate parts to passersby, I was ready to go cause a scene and make my presence known to my cousin and his asshole buddy.
Let’s do this, motherfuckers.
Game on.
Deciding it was in my best interest to do a little reconnaissance and not go barging into the place like a lunatic, I took a more low key approach and quietly made my entrance. Feeling like a stalker freak, I hid behind a cardboard advertising sign while scoping out the lanes.
Ah, there they are.
Stifling a laugh, I couldn’t help but notice the unique seating arrangement of my intended targets. Cara sat in the chair behind the scoring computer, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, but then things got a bit interesting. Each side had three plastic chairs. Tyler sat in the middle chair to the right of Cara, while Duke sat in the chair on the end directly opposite. Much to my amusement, Andi sat two seats away from Duke as though he had the plague.
That’s my girl.
She rose to grab her ball and take a turn. Showcasing near perfect form, the expert bowled a beautiful strike. Unfortunately, that’s where her luck ended. Once she turned around to walk back to her seat, a frown instantly appeared on her face. Duke had gotten up and taken the middle seat, therefore forcing her to sit next to him.
Andi stood uncomfortably as though not sure what action to take. Time to intervene and even the playing field.
“Hey,” I spoke loudly and clearly, causing all heads to turn in my direction. Stepping right up to Andi, I gave her half a hug and went in for a kiss that made several facts abundantly clear.