Fred blinked at her. He still wasn’t sure what she was being so prickly about. But it was clearly apparent that she was sensitive about something that she had said. He rolled her words around in his mind. Quite young, been a maid, unnoticed. Which of those things was worse than the others?
“I’m sorry you had a tough time of things as a youngster. That can’t have been easy. Hopefully now, in your new life with me, you will enjoy meeting my friends. But I hope you will tell me if there is anyone you don’t wish to meet because you feel they have mistreated you.”
Now it was her turn to blink at him. Her eyes filled with tears for the first time in their short acquaintance, and Fred wanted to rip out his tongue for saying the wrong thing to her.
Chapter Six
Jane’s heart turned over, and so did her stomach. The man was too good to be true. No one had ever said something so solicitous to her in her life. At least, no man. Ella had been more than kind since Jane had come to stay, but Jane thought she was unique.
She hated to give way to tears, but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to restrain the moisture that was gathering along her lashes. And the poor man looked aghast.
“I’m so sorry if I’ve offended you. I swear, I meant no offense. I think it’s marvelous that you have done so well at looking after yourself. It’s dreadful that you were forced to do so, but I’m impressed that you’ve managed to do so.”
He was only making it worse, and Jane could tell he was getting desperate, but the more he said, the more her heart was pulled toward him. He was the loveliest man she had ever had the privilege to meet. And he was her husband! She would do all in her power to keep him. He must never know the rest of her background. Jane knew she had to pull herself together quickly or there’d be far more questions to face. So, she forced her lips into a smile.
“That is so very kind of you, sir. I promise you, I haven’t been mistreated by any of my employers. It might be a little uncomfortable to socialize with them if they were to remember me, so it’s just as well that I doubt they will.”
“Then why did you nearly give way to tears?”
“Because no one has ever shown any concern about my feelings before?”
Jane was disconcerted by her husband’s unwavering focus, even though she was certain he had heard Ella make a low sound of protest in the background. He ignored it, keeping his full attention on Jane. She felt as though she couldn’t even blink. Jane forced her sluggish brain into action. She needed to distract him with a question of her own.
“I must ask, sir, why everyone calls you Fred. I thought your name was Alastair.”
It did the trick. The man before her threw back his head and laughed. It was a sight to behold. His teeth were remarkably white, and she was certain he had all of them, a rarity in these parts to be sure, and not even so common in the city. His previously short-cropped hair had grown since he’d left Boston, and some of it slipped down over his eyebrow, giving him a boyish appearance. That, combined with the shine in his eyes as he gazed at her with laughter still dancing on his face, made her heart turn over. She didn’t want to give her heart to her husband, but she was afraid it was going to happen without her say so. Jane quirked her eyebrow. The man’s laughter was no true response to her question.
“I almost forget sometimes that my name is Alastair, to be honest with you. Everyone has been calling me Fred since I was a boy.”
“But why? Fred Fredericksburg seems a little redundant, doesn’t it?”
He laughed again but quieter this time. “I guess it does. But my sister, when she was young, had trouble learning to say certain sounds. Alastair was too much of a mouthful for her. So, she called me Fred, and it stuck so that everyone called me that.”
“Did your mother not object?”
“She was too sick to notice when it first was happening, and then she died, so no, she didn’t. And I don’t think she would have minded,” he quickly added. Jane thought he was trying to prevent an outpouring of sympathy from her. “She was just glad that Sybil and I were so close.”
Jane swallowed her guilt with a gulp and nodded. “How old were you?”
“When Sybil was learning to speak? Or when we lost our mother?”
Jane shrugged and smiled a little. “Both, please.” She enjoyed that he was sharing his story with her. Not that she wanted to do the same, but she would listen to him talk all day if he wished.
“I’m seven years older than Sybil. She was close to two when she was struggling with her speech. And I was ten when our mother died.”
Jane’s heart thumped hard in her chest. Something they had in common. Could it bind them or divide them?
“Me, too,” she said.
He tilted his head in question. “You, too, for which part?”
Jane smiled. “I was ten when my mother died, too.”
“I’m sorry. I think it’s harder for girls to lose their mother than boys.”
Jane shook her head. “I don’t think any child should lose either parent. But it’s life changing, that’s for sure.”
“At least ten is old enough to remember. Sybil doesn’t have any memories of our mother. Mama was sick so much of Sybil’s life, and then she was barely three years old when she died.”
One more reason for Jane to feel sympathy for her new sister-in-law. She swallowed that down along with the rest and tried to keep a soft smile pinned to her face. Trying for lightness, Jane looked around and included Ella in her statement.
“It seems we’re all orphans here, then, aren’t we?” She quickly turned back toward Fred. “Or do you still have your father?”
“No, he died a few years ago. I’m an orphan, too,” he concluded with a gentle smile toward her that made goose bumps prickle Jane’s arms. He was lovely, and she wanted to keep him. What if he found out she wasn’t a bargain?
“What sort of business do you do, sir?”
“Before I answer that, might I ask, why do you keep calling me, sir? Surely, we can be past a certain level of formality since we are married. I understand you might not be comfortable with me just yet as we’ve only met, but can you not call me by my name?”
Jane giggled, the sound a little nervous even to her own years. “The trouble is, I don’t know what to call you. I’m inclined to use Alastair as that’s your name, but your friends call you Fred, so I feel as though you’d want me to use that, but I didn’t really know what was best.”
“You could have asked,” he reprimanded gently, making Jane feel heat climb in her cheeks. She hoped he would want to keep her, but she feared she wasn’t doing a good job convincing him.
Hanging her head, she softly answered. “I’m sorry. What should I call you?”
Fred grasped her hand. “I’m sorry, too, I don’t mean to scold you. We’ve just met. A lifetime of a certain etiquette is difficult to overcome, isn’t it?” Jane hoped his question was rhetorical because she didn’t really have a response for it. He continued. “A part of me wishes you would call me Alastair, but I’m afraid I might not respond to it.”
This broke the awkward moment as they shared a chuckle.
“Very well, I’ll use both at different times, in that case. It’ll get you used to Alastair, perhaps. Or if you decide you don’t like it, please, do tell me.”
Jane was surprised when he reached out and grabbed her hand, shaking it. “It’s a deal,” he said.
Her heart had lodged itself in her throat. He lingered, holding her hand a moment before letting it go. It felt as though the heat from his warm palm had transferred itself to her own. It also seemed to suffuse her entire body. It was a pleasurable sensation.
Jane was always cold, probably because she always felt nervous. It was a welcome change to be suffused with heat. But knowing he was the source was disconcerting. It made her mind drift to matters she was uncomfortable contemplating, even though they were already legally wed.
She had just been given leave to use his first name, she doubted she should be
thinking about sharing heat with the man. Just the thought made her heat up even more, and she knew her cheeks were flushing. At least she didn’t feel faint, she thought as she remembered the mortifying experience when he had found her the day before.
“So, you didn’t tell me what you do in Boston,” Jane prompted, hoping to turn her thoughts.
Fred, or Alastair, smiled and her heart fluttered. She ignored it.
“I am a banker.” He uttered the words with pride. “I haven’t decided if I shall continue to work my job when we return to Boston, though. I recently acquired some investments that will provide sufficiently for our needs. And they might preoccupy too much of my time to allow me to keep the job.”
Jane tilted her head, examining her husband’s face. “You enjoyed your job, though, didn’t you?”
“How can you know that?”
“Your face and voice give it away. What did you like about it? And will you be able to find those aspects in whatever else you might do?”
“You’re right, I do enjoy my work at the bank. There are certain parts of it that I found highly stressful. I hate when we have to refuse someone a loan for something they truly want or need. Or when someone has spent all their money and didn’t realize. Those instances were dreadful. But the interaction with many people was always a pleasure. And when we can say yes to a loan, especially if I know it’s going to change their life for the better, that’s the best feeling in the world. So, parts of that I’ll be able to continue. I don’t know if I’ll be running into quite as many people, but perhaps I’ll be able to take relationships deeper, which will be better anyway.”
“That sounds delightful.”
Jane could feel Fred’s assessing gaze and tried to meet his eyes.
“You could help me, if you’d like.”
She felt the blood leaving her face as she paled and suddenly felt light headed. Now she would have to tell him she hadn’t any schooling. But then, she was saved unexpectedly.
Ella’s sweet voice came from the kitchen. Jane rather thought they had both forgotten about her, as they started.
“I’m so sorry to have to interrupt your conversation, but I need to finish the meal set up.”
Jane scrambled to her feet. “Let me help with that, Ella. I am so sorry that I have done nothing to help with the meal.”
Ella rolled her eyes. “You have done plenty, my friend. But if you’d like, you could set the table and then help me carry the things. Fred, if you could go ring the bell on the porch, Carter will join us.”
“That sounds fun,” he answered with a grin.
Jane sighed as she watched him walk away. She doubted he could look bad if he tried, but especially when he smiled, it caused a flutter in his wake.
“You look like you’re getting a little more comfortable with everything,” Ella observed, a smile splitting her face.
Jane couldn’t help but return the other woman’s grin. But she still shrugged. “Comfortable might be too strong of a word, but I don’t hate the idea. I still feel ridiculous for having run out on you all yesterday. But, yes, I’m much more settled with the idea of being Mrs. Fredericksburg.”
“Even though it means going back to Boston?”
“I didn’t hate it there like you did,” Jane reminded her friend. Even though Jane had been a servant, she couldn’t say her life had been bad. It had actually worsened here with her sister, since Phoebe’s moods changed faster than the wind.
“So, we did a good thing marrying you off to Fred, then?”
Jane reached forward and clasped her friend’s hands. “You did a truly lovely thing providing for me and keeping me safe from my sister and her strange plans of marrying me off to Avery Flynn. Did you know Fred was going to marry me himself when you wrote to him?” Jane hadn’t thought to ask this when the news had arrived who her husband was.
Ella shook her head. “Not in the least. I thought he was a confirmed bachelor. You must remember, he’s a fair bit older than his sister. She was the one I was such good friends with. So, from my childhood perspective, he was ancient. And since he had never married, he must’ve been far too old to do so at this point.”
The two women laughed before Ella continued. “Of course, seeing him again, now, I realize he isn’t so very old, just eight or so years older than me. The same age as Carter, I believe, and we only married recently. But, no, I can’t say he crossed my mind as a possibility. Besides, with all the marriages he’s arranged, he’s had plenty of opportunities.”
Jane frowned. “Makes me wonder why he decided to finally do it now.”
Her stomach roiled. Why now? Why her? Did he think she had more going for her than she did?
“What if he’s disappointed?” She didn’t want to explain to her friend all her concerns, but she couldn’t help voicing at least a little bit of her worries.
Ella reached out and clasped her hand. “You are a wonderful friend and a lovely young woman. You are a catch for any man, and don’t you forget it.” Her tone was scolding but was accompanied by a warm smile. “Besides, I don’t know the details, but I understand your marriage helped him out, too, so don’t you dare feel as though the favor is all one sided. He was lucky to get you, and you are going to do great wherever you go.”
Jane squeezed her friend’s hand and tried to return her smile with as much enthusiasm, but it was hard to muster. While a part of her longed to return to Boston, she feared the hierarchy that was Society there. She ought to have been welcomed there by her birth, but her circumstances had removed her far from that rarefied crowd. Now, Jane doubted she would see things in the same light as the others did. Would she be able to show a unified front with her husband?
Pushing the worries from her mind, Jane reminded herself that she was no longer that frightened servant girl. She was Jane Fredericksburg now, and she would be just fine. Her husband seemed inclined to look at their arrangement in a positive way. He wasn’t examining her for her flaws. She would do her best to keep them all hidden, and they would be able to move along just fine.
The noon meal passed pleasantly, and while Jane didn’t have too much to add to the conversation, she enjoyed witnessing Carter and Fred teasing and tormenting each other. Ella obviously had heard many of the stories they were referring to from her husband, so she was able to join in, but Jane didn’t feel excluded even though it was all new to her. She could feel her husband’s glances as though he were verifying to make sure she was fine. Finally, she smiled directly at him and leaned close.
“Stop worrying about me. I’m with friends here.”
His eyes brightened, and he clasped her hand. This ended all chance of speech for Jane as her mind stuttered and her stomach fluttered. She could have sat there all day, watching the three friends and holding her husband’s warm hand in her lap. But she didn’t want him to think she was too clingy. Should she let go? Should she squeeze? Was it normal to wonder?
~~~
Fred enjoyed the attachment he felt to his new wife. He had been worried that she was feeling left out as he and Carter laughed about old events from their youth. Ella must have known the stories, as she was able to add her thoughts to their conversation, but Jane was new to all of it. It didn’t seem to bother her, though.
He appreciated her serene smile and intelligent gaze as she watched the three of them enjoying themselves. He also appreciated the fact that she didn’t want him worrying about her. Although that was his job now and he had every intention of doing it well.
The sensation of her small hand in his much larger one was sweet and comfortable. He had never thought he would be the type to want such an attachment, but from the moment he met her, Fred had felt an inclination to reach for Jane. It was disconcerting. But he didn’t pull away. Until he could feel her begin to fret.
It was remarkable how attuned he had already become to her shifts in mood. It was as though the air around her vibrated. Carter and Ella didn’t seem to notice, but Fred could tell she wasn’t comfortable.
Perhaps he was being too forward by holding her hand.
He tried to stifle his sigh as he let go and leaned back in his chair. For each bit of progress they made, he felt as though they also made a step backward. They needed to have a more thorough conversation.
“Thank you, for the delicious meal, Ella. I’m relieved to feel fully satisfied.”
“For at least the next half hour, right?” Ella interrupted to tease him.
He didn’t allow himself to be side-tracked. “Would you mind if Jane and I go for a walk? Perhaps she can show me a bit of your spread and we can discuss our plans.”
“Sure, you two run along.”
Jane protested slightly. “Oh, no, I ought to help you clean up.”
Carter interrupted. “I don’t have much planned for my afternoon. I’ll help in here, Jane. We need to get used to not relying on you.”
Fred felt badly for his wife. He knew Carter’s words were meant to set her at ease, but Fred was fairly sure they hurt her feelings. He reached out and patted her shoulder once more, grateful that she didn’t flinch away. She even sent him a weak smile.
“Shall we?” he asked as he pulled back her chair for her.
The blush that stained her cheeks was pretty, and his pulse thumped its appreciation. Fred fought to control it. He needed to have a serious discussion with his wife. He couldn’t be distracted with her beauty or he’d be stuck in Missouri until they were wrinkled and grey.
Jane didn’t say anything more but did precede him to the door. When they finally reached the porch, she turned to him with a half-smile. “Do you truly want to have a tour of the farm? Or were you just looking for a way to get out of the house?”
Chapter Seven
Fred wasn’t sure how to answer her. She didn’t appear to be afraid of his answer, but he was cautious anyhow. But he didn’t want to lie to her either. Especially considering there were things he would prefer to keep from her for the time being.
A Bride for Alastair Page 5