Fred nodded in understanding over her questions. “Since this particular line doesn’t start too very far from here, it’s unlikely there would be many delays between its start and here. It’s entirely possible that we won’t arrive in Boston at the predicted time as it is a long way, and any number of things could hold us up, but I don’t expect we’ll be kept waiting here too much longer.”
He was pleased to see a sunny smile grace his wife’s face. “That’s a relief. I find once I get going, I’m much more settled about things. Right now, the anticipation is making me a little anxious.”
“Was your ride out here your first time on the train?”
“Yes, and it wasn’t the most comfortable experience. I expect the return trip will be much better.”
“Why is that?”
“For one thing, it seems you paid more than I did, so I’m expecting the accommodations to be better. And I won’t be a single woman alone traveling west.”
“Ah, I see. I can imagine that might not have been the most comfortable situation to be in. Were you put in some awkward positions?”
Jane laughed. “It depends if you consider multiple propositions to be awkward. Some were legitimate propositions of marriage, some less so. None of them were acceptable.”
Fred was curious, since she had ended up wedding a stranger. “What made them so unacceptable?”
“Did Carter not tell you that one of my requirements in a groom was that he have at least some teeth and knew his way to the cleansing bowl?”
Fred threw back his head and laughed. “As I recall, he did mention teeth and cleanliness as requirements. I thought he was funning me.”
“You thought it funny that was a requirement?”
“No! I thought those things were a given. Carter also mentioned economic stability and health. I took those seriously. But, yes, I thought he was teasing about the teeth, as I would never consider someone who couldn’t keep up with basic hygiene.”
Jane’s sunny smile returned. “So, that is how I found myself arriving in Council Bluff without a groom.”
Fred grinned along with her. “Such a sad state of affairs when one sets their standards so high.”
She imitated his fake serious tone. “Yes, I have tried to curb my overachieving expectations, but what can one do when one was raised in the elevated Society of Boston?”
“One must return there with haste. That is what one must do.”
Jane laughed again. “Exactly.”
Her ready sense of humor pleased him. Basically, everything about her pleased him. But it made him a little nervous. He didn’t know her well enough, and she wasn’t showing any signs of giving her heart to him. Fred certainly didn’t want to fall in love with his wife before he had made her fall in love with him. He would have to make sure that happened. If he had bound her to himself both legally and emotionally, maybe then he could trust her with all the details of their marriage.
Before he could set his plan in motion, their train arrived. As he had predicted, it was within ten minutes of the posted arrival time. That slight delay would likely grow over the coming days. He tried to tell himself not to expect their arrival to be quicker than a week. Then he wouldn’t be too disappointed if it turned out to be true.
He was pleased to see the accommodations weren’t as sparse as he had found them to be on his ride west until he realized they were exactly the same.
“What are you laughing about?” Jane’s tone held curiosity and perhaps a dose of speculation that he wasn’t as sound mentally as she had expected.
“I was just thinking how spacious the room is. It’s amazing how your perspective can change so quickly.”
She still looked puzzled.
“While I was travelling west, I had thought the accommodations on the train were cramped and Spartan. But after a few nights in the bunkhouse, I can appreciate this room as luxurious. We don’t even have to share it with anyone.”
“Except each other,” she reminded him.
“Is that so very dreadful if I promise to keep to my side of the room?”
She blushed and shook her head. “Thank you, Alastair. I know you’re being remarkably patient with me.”
“I completely understand that we are still strangers. Don’t let it trouble you. Hopefully, before long we’ll be old friends as well as husband and wife.”
He was amused by her deepening blush but had mercy on her, offering a change of scenery. “You must be hungry since breakfast has now been hours ago.”
Her shy nod prompted a chuckle out of him but he simply said, “Let’s go find the dining car and put an end to our stomachs’ grumbling.”
This finally put her at ease, and she joined him in laughter as they made their way down the narrow hallway. She had to skim her hand along the wall to maintain her balance, but otherwise seemed to be adjusting well to the motion of the train.
“You are quite adaptable for a young woman from the city.”
She tilted her head like an inquisitive bird, watching him with her intelligent gaze but not replying to his comment.
“You don’t even seem to be bothered by the motion of the train. You seemed perfectly comfortable on McLain’s property, but you also seem to be taking your return to the city in stride.”
They were interrupted by the waiter taking their order, but when they returned their attention to each other, she was smiling at him. Jane shook her head.
“I have had to adjust to drastically different circumstances a few times in my life. I wouldn’t say I’ve gotten used to it, but since the first big change happened when I was still quite young, perhaps it has made me resilient. But it has also put me in a habit of not getting too attached. That may not be healthy within a relationship.”
Fred raised his eyebrows at her. “Do you wish to become attached to me?” He was pleased that she was thinking that way.
She shrugged. “It would probably be helpful to a successful marriage, wouldn’t you think? Ella certainly seems attached to Carter.”
“Is your sister attached to her husband?”
“That just proves my point. No, she’s not. And they don’t seem to be at all happy. I certainly don’t want to emulate them.”
Fred nodded. “I can see your point,” he said, although, thinking of his sister and her attachment to her louse of a husband, he wasn’t sure how he felt on the subject. “Sybil and Horace seem to swing between extremes. On occasion, Horace will shower her with attention and even gifts, and Sybil seems to thrive. But more often than not, he is cold and aloof toward her. He feels as though she entrapped him into their marriage and resents her for it. They married rather suddenly. Although Sybil had been hoping he would come up to scratch, Horace had seemed reluctant to commit. And then, all of a sudden, he proposed marriage, and they were married within weeks. To be honest with you, I had been expecting there would quickly be a child. I shouldn’t have listened to the gossips.”
Jane suddenly seemed very uncomfortable with the subject, so he pushed thoughts of Sybil from his mind and enjoyed his wife’s company.
He tried to get to know her over the next few days but it was, at times, difficult. Some of his questions seemed to fluster or embarrass her. Fred didn’t know why she would be uncomfortable telling him her favorite books or what she enjoyed doing to pass the time. Finally, he settled for telling her about himself. Strangely, that seemed to please her and set her at ease.
“Carter didn’t enjoy school. It was surprising when you consider how good a student he was. Or maybe it was just that he was a quick learner. He always did well on examinations. But he hated the constraints of school life.”
“And you didn’t?”
Fred enjoyed her intelligent gaze and probing questions. He smiled at her.
“Not like he did. Our friend Ransom was the same. We were boys together, growing up in the same neighborhood and then continuing on to University. Ransom managed to graduate before he went west, but Carter only lasted about a year with us
before he took off to the wilds.”
She was gazing at him like an inquisitive bird again, with her head cocked to the side, studying him carefully.
“I can’t tell if you’re wistful about him leaving you, or that you didn’t go with either of them.”
Fred laughed. “I can assure you, I have no aspirations for life in the wild western portions of our great country. I’m glad that I’ve seen it for myself now, but I’m all the more convinced that the city life is for me.”
He was glad when she nodded, as though in agreement.
“Tell me more about University. What did you love learning the most?”
Fred was pleased to comply, and the time flew by pleasantly.
Chapter Nine
Jane could hardly believe it. The days had flown by, and now they were about to pull into the station at their final destination. They hadn’t even been delayed too much along the way. Alastair was nearly giddy with delight that it had only taken them six days. Not even, if you considered the fact that they were arriving fairly early in the morning, whereas they had left in the afternoon.
Jane stifled her yawn behind her hand. She hadn’t slept well since they left Carter and Ella’s home. She wasn’t sure if it was the constant motion of the train or her discomfort being alone with her husband, but she was looking forward to sleeping in a solid bed that night. And if she could manage it, she would love to catch a nap, too. Napping was the most decadent activity she had yet encountered. It wasn’t something she had done since childhood, but it had become a habit of theirs over the past days. There wasn’t that much to do on the train, and neither of them had slept soundly.
Perhaps it was the constant awareness of the other. Or maybe that was just her. It felt to Jane as though she could feel him breathing. That his very presence vibrated around her. He had been very kind about allowing her privacy and not forcing his attentions upon her. It had been an awkward conversation, but she had appreciated it none the less.
His uncomfortable throat clearing had alerted her to the upcoming difficult conversation. Jane had noticed that Alistair did that whenever he was nervous. It had been their first evening on the train.
“Since we have a rather unconventional arrangement, I thought we ought to discuss the state of our marriage.”
Jane’s stomach had clenched. Was he about to say that he was going to abandon her as soon as they reached Boston?
“What did you have in mind?” She kept her tone as neutral as possible, not revealing her own feelings, grateful that the high neck of her gown would hide the fact that her pulse had accelerated at an alarming rate.
“I thought you might be apprehensive about the intimacies of marriage.”
Jane had to giggle. “You thought correctly.”
She watched in fascination as his cheekbones darkened. He cleared his throat once more. “Has anyone explained these matters to you?”
Now, Jane’s face was flaming. She shook her head.
Alastair cleared his throat yet again. “Yes, of course not. I forgot you’ve lost your mother. And of course, your sister wouldn't have explained. I thought perhaps Ella would have, but never mind about that. I will explain it to you later.” The poor man tugged on his cravat and looked as though he wished he had never started this conversation. “I thought perhaps you would prefer if we set a parameter to our relationship. Like, we’ll consider intimacies in a month’s time, once we’ve come to know one another.”
Jane nearly sagged in relief. The fact that he didn’t seem to have any intention of abandoning her, added to the reprieve on needing to explore the mysteries of the marital bed, was almost too good to be true. She blinked at him, surprised by the offer. Now it was her turn to clear her throat as it clogged with sudden emotion.
“That might be best,” was all she could muster to say.
“Do you think a month will be enough time for you?”
His tone sounded funny to Jane’s ears. She examined his face, wondering why he couldn’t quite meet her gaze. What was he hiding? She tried to question him but started with a shrug.
“Since I’ve never been married, nor intimate, I really have no way of knowing, to be frank. But it seems reasonable.”
Alastair nodded, his cheeks darkening once more. “The thing is, I find you remarkably attractive and don’t think it’s reasonable to expect me to wait longer, but I don’t want to rush you into something you wouldn’t be ready for.”
Jane now understood his shifty gaze, as she could no longer look him in the face either. But she did her best to nod and respond. “I appreciate your honesty and your consideration. I’m sure it’ll be better for us once we have gotten to know one another.”
From the corner of her eye she saw him nodding. “Shall we start now?”
Her gaze flew to his. “Start what?”
Alastair chuckled. “Start getting to know one another,” he explained through his laughter. “I know very little about you. Your full name and date of birth were on the documents Carter sent for our marriage, but that’s about it. There’s so much more I ought to know. And you should know things about me, too, I suppose.”
Jane felt her eyes widen. It was true. She wanted to know everything about him. But she didn’t want him to know everything about her. Which made her a hypocrite. What to do?
She forced a yawn. “It has been a rather intense few days and I’m quite tired. Do you think we could start on the story telling in the morning?”
The smile he gave her was equal parts kindness and understanding with perhaps a little bit of relief added in. Jane wondered if he, too, had things he would rather leave unsaid. For a moment, she regretted putting it off but decided her own urge for self-preservation would exceed her desire for knowledge about him for now.
“Very well. I will step out for a few minutes to allow you to ready yourself for sleep.”
Jane appreciated his absence and his return. She wouldn’t have wanted to change in front of him but was nervous on her own. This trip was going to be a far cry from her journey west where she had only purchased a seat and didn’t change her clothes for the entire week.
It was still difficult to sleep once he returned, but being on a berth rather than a seat made it somewhat possible. Jane found her ears attuned to his every shift or movement. That subsided slightly as the days passed, but only a very little. If anything, as she got to know him, a certain awareness increased. If his hand drew near enough to touch her, she was torn between a desire to flinch away and an urge to get closer.
~~~
The last week had been torture. Pleasurable torture. But torture none the less. Fred had lain in the berth across from his wife listening to her steady breathing night after night. He was almost certain she wasn’t sleeping any better than he was, but she hid it better than he did. He didn’t want to complain. He was enjoying getting to know her.
Jane seemed to be a sweet, young woman with a steady demeanor. His first impression of her after she had run away when she knew he was to arrive had not been truthful. It was becoming clear to him that her reaction then was not really in keeping with her character. She wasn’t flighty or impulsive. If anything, she thought everything through for an excruciating length of time. Whenever he asked her a question, she had paused to ponder before answering.
Like when he had asked her about when she had started working. “How old were you when you found your first employment?” He had thought it an innocuous question. But it felt like ten minutes passed before she answered him. Perhaps he was exaggerating, but he had actually had to check to see if she had fallen asleep. And she never did fully answer his question.
“It was about a month after my mother died,” she finally said in a soft voice. Her tone was almost dreamy, as though her thoughts were elsewhere, but when he peered closer, he could see that there were tears glistening in the corners of her eyes, so he didn’t want to pry deeper.
“I think you were quite young, then, weren’t you?” he had still felt incl
ined to ask.
“In my opinion, any time is too young to lose your mother, wouldn’t you agree?” Her question, and the wistful tone, had brought a lump to his own throat as he remembered losing his mother, and especially how that loss had affected Sybil, his young sister.
“Yes, you’re quite right,” he had finally answered. They then both found themselves staring off into space.
But Fred hadn’t wanted to give up completely. A few minutes later, he cleared his throat and asked some more questions. He didn’t really think she was trying to avoid telling him about herself, but that was how it was turning out.
“Did you enjoy the work you found?”
This time she finally faced him, but the expression on her face was one of profound sadness, making him wish he hadn’t asked.
“I would have preferred being with my friends,” she answered softly. “But my father needed help supporting the family.”
“Did your brothers and sisters also find work?”
She shook her head but didn’t say anything else. Fred was growing uncomfortable, so he launched into his own tale.
“I was only fifteen when I got my first job,” he could hear pride in his voice. “I juggled school and work for years.”
“How did you manage that?” she had asked.
Fred felt his chest puffing with pride over the admiration he could hear in her voice. The memory of that conversation still brought a smile to his face. His pretty little bride looked up to him. It was the most intoxicating sensation he could ever remember feeling.
Fred glanced over at the dainty creature who was his wife and couldn’t help smiling over the small frown between her brows. She was a worrier, and he found it endearing. Fred enjoyed it when she finally unburdened herself to him. It wasn’t often, but as the week had progressed, there had been a few times that she had expressed herself. Before she had done so, she had the very same frown between her brows. He was both relieved and happy when the frown had smoothed out after they had discussed whatever had been concerning her.
A Bride for Alastair Page 7