Guilt shrouded my heart. “I promise you that once I get back from the sea dwellers’ kingdom, I’ll speak to the council. I will find a way to have you both with me more.”
Would they allow Verona to come live with me in the guardian quarters? It was a possibility worth pushing Harker and the council for.
Gem’s eyes lit up. “You can do that? I thought they only allowed two nights a week.”
“That’s what they said, but I think it’s time for a renegotiation.”
She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her cheek to my chest. “I’m sorry for being angry with you. I love you, Echo. I’m proud of you, I really am.”
I smoothed her hair. “I know, and I’m proud of you too, but you don’t have to be the adult. I’m still here, and I promise to always take care of you.”
With a final squeeze, I released her, and we headed back into the main room.
“Echo,” Bry said. “Lyrian just made fire with his mouth!”
“What?” Gem rushed forward. “Show me.”
Yes. The kids were going to be fine. I just wished I could say the same for myself.
Chapter 3
FINN
The day has begun, and my shift at the hub started a half hour ago, but the thought of seeing Emory, of him knowing that I’ve failed, that I’ve hurt Echo, is a thorn in my mind. Instead, I lie in bed staring at the plastered ceiling and wondering how the fuck my heart will ever get over the woman I love.
Echo almost died. She almost died, and I can’t be with her. I can’t see her or hold her or inhale her scent. I have no right because I’ve chosen this. I’ve chosen my pack over the woman I love. I should feel good about myself. After all, this is the unselfish choice, the choice that benefits everyone, but the look of betrayal on her face, the pain in my heart, and the grief I’ve caused have tainted everything.
The mating should have happened on the full moon but has been delayed by the Crescent pack leader, Orville. He claims Nora, his daughter and my mate, is sick. Bullshit, because Lupinata rarely, if ever, get sick. It’s a ploy to prevent the consolidation of our pack’s power, a subtle snub to the status quo. He wants the reins, and he’s stalling. So the question is: what is his plan? How is he going to wrest control of the Hive from the council?
There’s a soft knock on my door, and then Mina enters. She stands with her hands on her hips and shakes her head. Her dark hair falls over her naked breasts in a waterfall of silk.
“Really? You’re going to mope?” she says.
I close my eyes. “Go away, Mina.”
The covers are whipped off my body, leaving me exposed, but I don’t bother to hide anything. She’s seen it all before. Nakedness is nothing new to our kind.
“Get up, you have things to do. Potential alphas don’t get to lay in.”
She’s right, and I hate myself for being so weak right now.
“I know it hurts, I know you’re probably doubting your decision, but Finn … you did the right thing.” The bed dips as she sits by my hip, and then her hand is on my chest. “Something is going on with the Crescent Pack. I snuck in and spoke to Nora, she’s definitely not sick. In fact, she’s devastated that the mating was put off; that female really wants your cock.”
Her hand smooths over my pecs and down my abdomen. My muscles bunch involuntarily beneath her touch, and my cock hardens. Fuck, my wolf is awake and panting for some carnal action.
“Get up.” Her hand closes around my arousal and begins to pump it. “Let’s get those endorphins going, and then we have work to do. We need to figure out what Orville is up to, and we need to put a stop to it.”
I hate myself as I let the wolf free. I hate myself as I grab her and pull her on top of me, and I despise myself as I bury my cock inside her and fuck her until she screams, because I’m not here, I’m in my head, I’m with Echo, and it’s her face I see.
Chapter 4
Man the tower for me today. I’ve added your biometrics to security systems. You know your way around the system—Emory.
I stared at the note taped to my bedroom door. The inside of my door, which meant Emory would have had to come into my room to pin it. He’d have seen me sleeping, which wasn’t creepy at all. I mean Lyrian and Micha saw me sleeping all the time. They’d slept with me for four nights when I’d been hurt, but I’d insisted on sleeping solo since then, because even though snuggles with Micha were always welcome, I didn’t want to leave Lyrian out in the cold. The other option was having them both in bed with me, but the bed was honestly not big enough to allow for comfortable sleep. It was a mystery how they’d coped for four nights, but I got the impression they probably hadn’t done much sleeping. They’d been so worried about me.
But Emory had been there, in my room, and the shiver down my spine at the thought was less apprehension, more curiosity. Emory was an enigma, a forbidden fruit. One moment he was within reach, and the next he was hidden from me. He had a monster inside him, and I should be afraid, but the truth was I was intrigued. This was Emory, and Emory had always been safety and security, and no matter what Gideon said or did, my feelings for Emory wouldn’t change.
My neck prickled, and then Hunter’s presence bloomed to life against my back.
“He just stood and stared at you for several minutes,” Hunter said, his breath warm on the nape of my neck. “It was him, not Gideon, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“You were in my room last night?”
“There are strange things afoot in the Hive,” he said. “I was … concerned.”
I turned slowly so I was facing him, wishing I could see his face. “You know, it’s creepy for you to hang about when I’m sleeping.”
“Then have the crimson one sleep with you. You shouldn’t be alone at night. Not right now.”
“You think someone wants to hurt me?”
“This is another one of the things I can’t speak of. Promise me you’ll keep someone with you at night.”
Cryptic as usual, but his concern was touching. “Fine. I’ll ask Micha to stay with me tonight.”
And he was gone.
I crumpled the note in my hand and acknowledged the frisson of excitement inside. It had been weeks since I’d seen the heart. Micha and Lyrian had been put to work around the Hive, so today would have been a day in the training room and a quick trip to Chamber H, but instead, I got to look after the heart.
Finn’s face flashed through my mind’s eye, but I pushed it away. He’d made his choice, and as much as I now understood it, I wasn’t ready to see him just yet. If he was on shift today, I’d just avoid him.
I needed time, and maybe … Maybe we could one day be friends. Right now, it hurt too much to think about him. Pulling my hair up into a messy knot, I headed to the washroom for a cold-water cleanse before I’d don my dark green guardian gear.
Danika greeted me with a curl of her lip and a flick of her golden hair. “I could have manned the tower. Emory needn’t have bothered recruiting you for the day.”
Oh, great. I was stuck with the sourpuss Sanguinata. “But you don’t know the way around the system the way I do.”
“He should have trained me, not you.” She sniffed, clearly put out by my presence.
“Well he didn’t, so suck it up.”
I was done pussy-footing around her.
She sat back in her seat. “Well, then you better find a way to cover the staff shortage.”
“Shortage?” Heart keepers hardly ever took time off. “How many?”
“Three. Two humans and a Lupinata.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Everyone who wasn’t a Sanguinata was simply a species to Danika. “Names, Danika, I needed names.”
“Greg, Jules, and Finn.” She shot me a sly look. “Finn’s probably holed up with his bitches fucking the day away. It’s all they do, you know—hang around naked and rut like the beasts they are.” Her eyes glittered with a cruel edge.
Her words had a definite bite, but I
’d known Finn long enough to realize it was uncharacteristic of him to simply not show. “Did he call in?”
She shrugged. “He did, but the humans haven’t bothered.”
“What did he say?”
Her eyes narrowed in annoyance because I wasn’t rising to her baiting. “He has a pack meeting that can’t wait, and he apologized for letting us down.”
I gave her a terse smile. “Thank you.”
Her lip curled. “Did you let him fuck you, Echo? Did it hurt when he broke it off with you?”
A vise gripped my chest. She knew about Finn and me? Who else knew? How many people here knew? Were they laughing at me, the pathetic human who’d thought she could change the rules?
Words, so many words tumbled in my mind, looking for an apt retort, but it wasn’t my voice that responded to her question. It was Deacon’s.
“Maybe you can relate, Danika?” he said. “After all, you are familiar with rejection, are you not?”
Her already pale complexion blanched even more. “Deacon? What can I do for you?” She made to stand, but Deacon waved her back into her seat.
My pulse was hammering at the sight of him. It felt like forever since I’d seen him. He looked good in the Protectorate black uniform. His hair was pulled back in a half pony today, and his cheekbones were like sharp edges that begged to be stroked. But right now, his attention was on Danika as he raked her coolly with his aqua gaze and then dismissed her with a flick of his brows.
“Emory told me I’d find you here,” he said to me. “We need to meet later to discuss our trip to the sea dwelling and work on some mind-shielding techniques.”
For a moment I was lost, and then the face of Rydian, the sea dweller king, flashed in my mind. He’d planted terror in my head with a look, and I needed to learn to keep him out.
“Meet me in the kitchen at seven sharp,” Deacon continued. “I’ll cook.” He turned on his heel and strode back out without waiting for a response.
Danika was staring at me open-mouthed. “You and Deacon?”
“What?”
She made a sound of disgust. “He really is scraping the bottom of the barrel.”
Fuck her, and fuck justifying my relationship with the councilman. “You know what? You can go.”
“Excuse me?”
I stared her down. “I’m in charge today, and I say you can go. You’re relieved of duty for the day.”
She gave me a disgusted look and pushed back her seat. “Fine. Have fun navigating the hub solo, with less staff, and keeping the two new Lupinata we have up to speed.”
Shit. I’d forgotten about the shortage, but it was too late to take back my words now. And new staff that needed training … Not going to be easy solo. She was looking at me expectantly, expecting me to take back what I’d said and ask her to stay. Like hell.
I lifted my chin and crossed my arms under my breasts. “See you later.”
Her eyes narrowed, and then she gathered her bag. “Not if I see you first.”
“I’d have thought someone as old as you would have some better parting shots at your disposal.”
Her jaw hardened, and then she turned on her heel and stormed out.
I slumped in my seat as soon as she’d gone. I’d probably just shot myself in the foot by letting her get under my skin, but what was done was done. It was time to run the diagnostics, sort out what jobs needed to be covered, get them done, and train new staff. Today was going to be a long day.
Micha and Lyrian were still out when I returned, exhausted and desperate for my five-minute shower. The water soothed the tension in my body. How the heck did Emory do that job every day? It was crazy intense how many systems he had to monitor from the tower, the data checks and the tweaks that needed to be made, not to mention the two new Lupinata recruits who’d taken over an hour to come to grips with the simplest task. What had Emory been thinking hiring them?
I’d left a note about the absences and a report on the trainees. He’d deal with the staff when they got to work tomorrow, and the next day we’d be leaving for the sea dwellers’ kingdom. Whom had he asked to man the tower for two weeks? It couldn’t be Danika? Otherwise, he’d have asked her to man today? Whoever it was, it would be someone adept and trusted.
The water shut off.
Scraping my damp hair into a knot, I pulled on fresh clothes and headed out to the kitchen. My stomach rumbled. Damn, I was starving. The door opened to Deacon at the stove, stirring a pot of something that smelled meaty and divine, and a sense of déjà vu rocked me. This was the spot where Deacon had pushed me up against the wall and kissed me. No, that hadn’t been a kiss, it had been a seductive devouring of my mouth, and the memory had my body warming.
“Come in and close the door,” he said.
I did as he asked and took a seat. “That smells delicious.”
“Stew. You need to get your energy levels up. The arcana can give you a false sense of power, but your body still needs sustenance, and you were unconscious for days.”
“Lyrian cooked yesterday.” I bit back a smile. “I’ve been spoiled since living here. I can cook, you know.”
“I’m sure you can, but sometimes it’s nice to be catered to.”
“Do you like to cook?”
His shoulders tensed beneath the black fabric of his shirt. “I did, and then I didn’t, and now … Now, I’m beginning to enjoy it again.” He poured stew into two plates and placed one in front of me before sitting down opposite me with the other. “How was the hub?”
He picked up his spoon and studied me steadily with his sky-blue eyes.
The aroma of the stew tickled my nostrils, and my stomach rumbled. “Exhausting. We had three no-shows today.”
His spoon paused on the way to his mouth. “You did?”
“Yes.” I scooped food into my mouth and chewed. Shit, that was good.
“Did they call in?”
I shook my head. “Nope. I left a note for Emory to deal with it tomorrow.”
We ate in companionable silence for the next few minutes. The stew was meaty, and the sauce was thick and fragrant, and by the time I finished, my stomach was full, and my body was pleasantly lethargic.
“Thank you, that hit the spot.”
He pushed away his own empty plate and clasped his hands on the table. “Good, now down to business. You wanted to know how to shield yourself against Rydian’s mental attacks, and we were meant to have time to prepare, but time seems to have gotten away from us.”
My near-death episode and four days unconscious had eaten up our prep time. “Can you still help me?”
“I’m going to try, but how fast you learn depends on you. You’ll have to be open and unguarded with me. Allow me into your head so that you can practice pushing me out. Once you can do that, then we can work on shielding.”
“Okay. Let’s do this.”
He cleared the plates from the table and then dragged his seat closer to mine. He sat with his legs opened and dragged my seat closer with me still on it so my knees were between his thighs, and we were as close as we could be while still seated.
“Unlike Rydian, I need to be touching my subject to get into their mind,” he said.
I closed my eyes and waited for the cool brush of his fingers on my temple, but this time he cupped my face, his palms warmer than usual.
“Relax.” His voice was a seductive purr that sent tingles down my neck.
“I’m totally relaxed. Let’s do—”
The room rushed away, and I was back in the dead zone. I was running, running for my life, but this time the eaters were everywhere, and there was no escape. Hope wilted and died and my feet faltered. I hit the ground, and the machines surrounded me, their red eyes blazing, ready to take me out. My lungs froze as fear flooded my system.
Die.
I was going to die.
But a small voice in my head was whispering no. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t the way it had happened.
Deacon.
> He was doing this. He was in my head, and I needed to wake up. I needed to push him out. How could he? How could he have used this memory to test me? Rage bloomed in my mind, and the machines melted away, the landscape bubbled and cracked, and then I was staring at Deacon’s wide eyes and dark gold lashes. His hands were still on my face when I punched him in the chest.
“You bastard. How could you?”
He held me tighter. “It was your strongest memory, and you snapped out of it in seconds.” He sounded awed.
I hit him again, wanting him off, needing him to stop touching me so I could collapse and gasp and breathe, just breathe, because the terror was still bubbling in my chest, and the memory of being alone and defenseless was now in the forefront of my mind.
“Let go. Let me—”
He crushed his mouth to mine and claimed what little air I had, and then his hands were sliding into my damp hair, tangling and yanking at the knot I’d hastily made of it. Fuck, he tasted good, sweet and spicy, and a hunger for him opened inside me. My butt left my seat as I fell into him, arms winding around his neck as I practically climbed onto his lap, begging him to deepen the kiss and give me more.
He moaned into my mouth and pulled back, and I caught a flash of his fangs. A delicious shiver ran up my spine as I dipped my head to lick at his mouth, to trace the wicked edge of those fangs. He pulled back with a groan, nicking my mouth in the process. We both froze as copper flavor bloomed on the tip of my tongue, and then his hands twisted in my hair, and I was on the table, with him on top, his hips between my thighs as he sucked on my tongue. My mind was a frenzy of desire as he fed and rubbed his arousal against me. Fuck, he was hard, he was hard and thick and—
“Ahem.”
Deacon slowly slid his mouth off my tongue, finishing with a lick that sent a shudder straight through me.
I lay panting, completely undone as I stared at my frazzled reflection in the councilman’s dilated pupils.
“A word please, Deacon.” It was Harker’s voice, and something inside me shriveled up and died because … Shame.
Dead Sea Page 3