Dating Essentials
for Men
The Only Dating
Guide You Will Ever
Need
Dr. Robert Glover
Dating Essentials for Men:
The Only Dating Guide You Will Ever Need
Copyright © 2019 by Dr. Robert Glover
The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact [email protected] Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
First Edition: March 2019
Published by Robert A. Glover, Ph.D., Inc.
Professional Disclaimer
Although you may find the information, principles, applications, and assignments in this book to be useful, they are presented with the understanding that the author is not engaged in providing specific medical, psychological, emotional, or sexual advice. Nor is anything in this book intended to be a diagnosis, prescription, recommendation, or cure for any specific kind of medical, psychological, emotional, or sexual problem.
Each person has unique needs, and this book cannot take these individual differences into account. Each person should engage in a program of treatment, prevention, cure, and/or general health only in consultation with licensed, qualified physicians, therapists, and/or other competent professionals.
Dedication
Dating Essentials for Men is dedicated to every man who is willing to step out of his comfort zone, challenge his distorted and self-limiting beliefs, and practice effective dating and relational skills. May these men find all the love and sex they desire.
More Dating Essentials for Men Resources
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•An annotated and illustrated eBook of Dating Essentials for Men
•Dating Essentials for Men Workbook
•Dating Essentials for Men A-Z Encyclopedia
•Over 20 hours of recorded Q&A sessions with Dr. Glover
•10 of Dr. Glover’s most popular Dating Essentials for Men Q&A podcasts
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Table of Contents
Introduction: Dating Essentials for Men
Part 1: Mastering Your Mind
Chapter 1: Blast the Lies Your Mind Tells You About Yourself and Women
Chapter 2: The Joy of Dating – Uncover and Overcome Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
Chapter 3: Eliminate Your Fear of Rejection – Forever!
Chapter 4: Discover the Power of Abundance Thinking
Chapter 5: Overcome Your Anxiety with Women
Chapter 6: Take a Breath and Soothe Yourself
Chapter 7: Use the Secret Women Don’t Want You to Know to Your Advantage
Chapter 8: Break Your Addition To Superficial Beauty
Chapter 9: Create a Lifestyle that Attracts Women Naturally
Chapter 10: Activate Women’s Basic Biological Urges
Part 2: Perfecting Your Practice
Chapter 11: Pay Attention to Detail (She Does)
Chapter 12: Use the Internet to Your Advantage
Chapter 13: Commit to Going Out with 12 Women in 12 Weeks
Chapter 14: Avoid the Number-One Mistake All Nice Guys Make with Women
Chapter 15: Learn and Practice the Secrets of Natural Players
Chapter 16: You’ve Got Her Attention, Now Drive Up Her Interest
Chapter 17: Banter and Flirt Like a Pro (Even if You’re Shy or Introverted)
Chapter 18: Follow This Roadmap to Find Your Really Great Woman
Chapter 19: Practice the Most Important Dating Skill of All – Be a Good Ender
Dating Essentials for Men Wrap-Up
Dr. Glover Bio
Dating Essentials for Men Resources
Introduction: Dating Essentials for Men
Are You a Bad Dater?
If so, welcome to the club. So was I and so are most of the men walking the planet.
Dating and courting are not in our human DNA. They have only existed in Western culture for a few generations. In the East – not even there yet. For most of modern civilization, marriages were arranged by family and clan. The idea of romantic love has only been around a couple of hunderd years.
Nevertheless, we live in a world where dating skills are essential for finding companionship, love, a mate, and of course, sexual partners.
I find that many men struggle at the most basic aspects of dating and mating. For most of us, these skills don’t come naturally and we’ve never had someone show us how.
Fears of doing something wrong, looking foolish, and getting rejected permeate the minds of most men – regardless of age, physical appearance, and social and economic status.
These fears typically manifest in clumsy attempts at approach and/or doing nothing at all. The all to common outcome of repeated failures at finding a suitable partner leaves many men feeling defective and unlovable.
I’ve been there. For the majority of my life, I was a loser with the ladies and I assumed the good women I was interested in, just weren’t interested in me.
But that all changed. Let me tell you about it.
When I became single in my mid-forties after 25 years of marriage, I came face to face with the reality that I hadn’t dated since college – and that I wasn’t good at it even then.
Back in high school and college, when I wanted to ask a woman out, I would first spend several weeks thinking about her, imagining what it would be like to be with her. My fear, self-limiting beliefs, and lack of skills prevented me from simply approaching her and asking her out.
When I finally got up the nerve to approach a woman I’d been obsessing about I would wait until the last minute, walk up to her awkwardly, and blurt out something like, “I don’t guess you would want to go out with me tonight, would you?”
She would usually respond with a look of surprise and say something like, “Oh, I already have plans.”
Then I would feel foolish, retreat, and never talk to her again.
When I did succeed at getting a girlfriend, I would hang on to her forever because I didn’t want to repeat the process of having to start dating all over again (as in staying married to two women for 25 years when I never should have dated either more than three times).
This time around, in my forties, I realized I would have to learn to do things a lot differently. Here’s what I did.
I began reading and listening to dating and “seduction” books and CDs and drawing from insights I myself had written about in my book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. Then, most importantly, I began applying those principles to see what worked and what didn’t.
I approached dating as if it were a scientific experiment.
To my surprise, I found that getting women to talk to me, give me their phone number, date me, and have sex with me was nowhere nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. In fact, I was often amazed at how simple and easy it could be when applying the right principles.
Several of my clients noticed that I was having success meeting women as well as having lots of sex and begged me to teach them what I was doing. Out of these requests Dating Essentials for
Men was born.
In 2007, I launched four, four-week online Dating Essentials for Men courses. These courses were a compilation of what I had learned through tons of trial and error and lots of fucking practice. The courses became an instant success because they offered a breath of fresh air from programs that taught men to be cocky/funny, spin plates, or run canned pickup routines.
This book is an update and expansion of those four courses.
If you had asked me any time before the age of 45 if I would be teaching men how to date I would have said you were crazy. But you know what? If a bad dater like me can learn how to interact confidently with women – get their phone numbers, get laid, and create great relationships – so can you!
In my quest to become an effective dater I discovered many principles that work and many that don’t. A lot of what I teach in Dating Essentials for Men is counter-intuitive to what you believe to be true about women, dating, and sex.
That’s the beauty of the Dating Essentials for Men approach.
Most men make dating way too difficult. One of the most common reactions men have to what I present is, “This is easy. I can do this!”
Dating Essentials for Men makes dating “doable” – the way it should be.
The principles and practices that I share will challenge you in ways you have never been challenged before. But showing you how simple it is to talk to women, get their phone numbers, date them, and get them into bed increases the likelihood that you will actually get out there and do it.
Rest assured, I will not turn you into a “geek with techniques” – i.e., a man who has memorized 32 openers for “working sets,” building rapport, or getting a “number close” – yet who’s still terrified of women and lacking basic skills.
The principles I teach and the tools I share in Dating Essentials for Men have helped transform countless bad daters into dating machines. All of these men have been guys just like you and me, most with a history of dating failures and tons of insecurities and self-limiting beliefs.
Dating may not be a part of our human DNA, but when you know what you are doing and what works, it truly is easy and doable.
What to Expect from Dating Essentials for Men
I have found that most guys who purchase my Dating Essentials for Men products (classes, workshops, podcasts, etc.) fall into one of two categories:
•men who have never dated well, have had few real girlfriends, and have had little or no sex, or
•men who have recently gotten out of a long-term relationship and are back out in the dating world for the first time in several years.
Occasionally men sign up for my programs because they have been relatively successful with meeting women and dating but want to improve their skills and attitudes. Regardless of your category, the principles I teach will work for you.
Whether you are wanting to learn and practice basic dating skills, develop confidence, get great sex, or meet the woman of your dreams, Dating Essentials for Men will get you moving in the right direction – and bring you proven results!
Dating Essentials for Men will help you:
•Clearly identify your goals for dating – and achieve them.
•Face your fears and soothe your anxiety.
•Learn new, effective skills for dating, mating, and breaking up.
•Challenge yourself to act and practice new skills.
Dating Essentials for Men focuses on two core areas of dating:
“Mastering Your Mind.” The MYM parts of DEFM will help you become aware of and challenge the false and self-limiting beliefs that keep you stuck at home by yourself every weekend.
“Perfecting Your Practice.” The PYP parts of DEFM will focus on learning new skills and developing new daily routines that will help you meet and talk to women and get what you want in love and sex.
Dating Essentials for Men will go after every distorted belief you have about yourself and dating and challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and find out how easy it is to meet and date lots of great women.
It doesn’t matter if you want to date for practice, discover your “Really Great Woman,” or find a “friend with benefits,” Dating Essentials for Men will teach you how.
Making Miracles
I want to challenge you to bring your “A” game to this material. Just purchasing it and leaving it on your computer or tablet won’t change a goddamn thing in your life.
There is no substitute for putting the principles of Dating Essentials for Men into practice. Don’t try to figure out how to do it “right.” Just get out there and do something. And then get out there and do it some more.
It works if you work it.
Relationships usually result from unexpected miracles, and miracles usually happen around people!
Not many miracles happen when you’re sitting at home playing X-box, watching television, or surfing the internet for porn. And not many miracles happen when you’re spending 60 – 70 hours a week at work.
You have to get out of the house and apply the principles presented in Dating Essentials for Men to make your miracles.
Doing this will be scary, but the moment you face your monster, you will be transformed. Here is what I constantly tell men:
•Get out of the house.
•Expand your route.
•Linger in public.
•Talk to people everywhere you go.
•Test for interest.
•Walk through open doors.
In reality, Dating Essentials for Men is about expanding your social and emotional intelligence – I just use men’s desire to get laid and find love as the motivation for helping them grow up and become interesting people.
As you practice the skills I teach in Dating Essentials for Men, you will also be working on the following essential life skills:
•Becoming aware of and confronting self-limiting beliefs.
•Stretching yourself and getting out of your comfort zone.
•Letting go of attachment to outcome.
•Setting the tone and taking the lead.
•Getting to rejection quickly.
•Becoming a “good ender.”
Not only will DEFM help you get the love and sex you want, it will help you become a more complete, confident person.
Here’s a little secret, when I transformed my love life using the skills I teach in Dating Essentials for Men, I also transformed every other part of my life:
•My income shot up
•Many unexpected adventures came my way
•My business grew
•I made new friends
•My overall satisfaction in life multiplied
Are you ready to join the thousands of men who have successfully transformed their dating and love lives? If so, make the investment in yourself.
I guarantee it, you’ll love the new you!
Dr. Robert Glover
Author of No More Mr. Nice Guy and
Creator of Dating Essentials for Men
Part 1: Mastering Your Mind
Most men’s dating struggles have very little to do with the reasons they think. I’ve heard all the justifications (excuses):
•I’m too short.
•I’m not experienced enough.
•I’m boring.
•Women can see right through me.
•All women are gold-diggers: they only want the tall guys with money.
•I come too quickly.
•I can’t get or stay hard.
•I have a small dick.
•I have social anxiety.
•I’m introverted.
•I don’t know where to start.
•I’m afraid of looking foolish.
•I’m afraid of getting beat up.
•The women with whom I’m interested aren’t interested in me.
•All the good women are in a relationship.
•Blah, blah, blah.
•Wah, wah, wah.
As I said, I’ve heard them al
l (and even believed a few myself).
No matter how strongly you believe these excuses to be true, and no matter how much evidence you can dredge up to support your beliefs, they’re lies. They are lies your mind tells you, and they are lies you’re happy to believe. Why? Because they let you off the hook.
Here’s the deal. To successfully date, get laid, and have great relationships, you have to challenge yourself. You have to be willing to face your fears and leave your comfort zone.
All of the above beliefs keep you safe. They keep you in the nursery where everything is cozy, safe, and warm.
Dating Essentials for Men will show you the way out of the nursery and into the world of bold masculinity. Practicing what I will teach you in this book will grow you as a man and give you a roadmap for finding the love and sex you want.
We will begin with the problem between your ears – your self-limiting beliefs (SLBs as I call them) – the false beliefs that prevent you from getting what you want in all areas of life.
The Mastering Your Mind section of Dating Essentials for Men will not only challenge the validity of all your SLBs, but will completely blow them out of the water.
Ready? Let’s dive in.
Chapter 1: Blast the Lies Your Mind Tells You About Yourself and Women
“The world we have created is a product of our thinking. It cannot change without changing our thinking.” - Albert Einstein
Believe it or not, your mind lies to you all the time. The genius, Albert Einstein understood this. The biggest lies your mind tells you are usually about yourself and women. This lesson is going to help you identify these lies, understand the effect of them, and then blast them away so you can start getting what you want in love, sex, and relationships.
Sound good?
Bad Daters
Most bad daters (BDs) struggle with three fundamental problems.
•Isolation. Bad daters tend to avoid social situations where they might have to talk to people whom they don’t know. BDs often suffer from some degree of social anxiety. This is especially pronounced around desirable women. To reduce their anxiety, BDs tend to keep to themselves and take few social risks.
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