I come back to on my side, my head pounding with a damp cloth being pressed to my forehead. “How long has she been out?” Sakura asks. Glancing up I can see she’s the one pressing the cloth to my head.
“I . . . I don’t know. I ran to come get you as soon as it happened and . . . and I don’t fuckin’ know Sakura. Is she okay? What’s the matter? Jesus, is she gonna be fuckin’ okay?” He asks, sounding worried beyond belief.
I could interrupt but I stick to breathing, trying to calm myself down. I’ve had anxiety attacks before and I know that’s what this is. This was merely my anxiety getting the best of me in a moment where I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t do my breathing. I didn’t do my exercises my therapists had taught me. Instead I let the ugly beast win. I allowed it to take control over me.
“Dixon, look at me!” Sakura orders. I don’t look up at him, but I hear the sudden halt of his boots against the floor. “You just came out to grab me a couple minutes ago. Breathe. Okay? Just breathe. When she wakes up we’ll get to the bottom of this. I promise you, there’s probably an easy explanation.”
“What do you mean easy explanation!?” Dixon grumbles. Even though he’s flustered I can tell he’s worried.
“Did anything stressful happen when she passed out? Something could’ve triggered it. It could’ve been from a lack of eating, amongst many other things. The point I’m trying to make is there are an abundance of reasons to explain this, so don’t get yourself all freaked out for no reason.”
“I’m so sorry,” I decide now is the time to speak up, moving the washcloth away from my face. “I . . . I’m so sorry that happened.”
Sakura immediately shifts her attention to me. “Has this happened before?”
“Yes, but not in a while. I suffer from anxiety attacks. I’m so sorry, I’m usually good about managing them but it just came over me all of a sudden and I felt like I was drowning.” I try to explain. Sakura nods, offering me her hand to help me get up while Dixon keeps his eyes trained on me.
“What made you anxious? I don’t get it.” Dixon mutters, rubbing his hand across his chin.
“It can be many things, anxiety doesn’t have a common cause. It could be something as little as hearing thunder or something big like almost being in a near death experience.” Sakura states, but I can tell as his lips close and he furrows his brows how he realizes what set off my anxiety.
“Thanks for the house visit, Sakura. I’ll be sure to give you a five-star review on Yelp . . . but I think we can handle this from here,” Dixon says, placing his hand on her back he practically shoves her out the door and closes it behind her. I watch the way he sucks in a deep breath and I rise, staring at the man who means more to me than anything else.
At the end of the day I know how happy Dixon makes me. How I thought I’d never experience something remotely close to this again. How I struggled with the thought I’d be alone until the day I died, but I’m not. Instead, I’ve found a life partner. One who isn’t only great to me, but to my son as well.
“I don’t ever wanna scare you like that again, Zen. You mean more to me than I could ever express. You got me? I don’t wanna fuckin’ scare you. I don’t wanna make you fuckin’ anxious. I only wanna make you feel like the queen you are, baby.” He mutters, walking up to me I see tears sliding down his cheeks. “I thought I was losin’ you.”
The way he cries causes me to lose my shit too. Emotion rolls over me and tears spill over my cheeks. “Dixon, you didn’t scare me. My anxiety did. I haven’t felt like this in years and when you said you loved me I wasn’t expecting it. It freaked me out for a second because I instantly thought of losing you. I thought of the pain I felt when Cornell died, but instead of Cornell I thought of you, of you dying tragically and leaving me and . . . my body decided to just shut down. I’m so sorry, but you’re gonna have to continue to deal with me because I have no doubt in my mind, I love you too.” I bury my head in Dixon’s chest and he wraps his arms around me, holding me safely in his arms.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Once you’ve made your escape, your abuser will try to win you back. Not because he loves you — to him you’re just a piece of property he must recover. A runaway slave to be recaptured. That is how he sees you, and don’t ever believe otherwise.
~ John Mark Green
Dixon
“You’re gonna wanna kiss me man, and I might even let ya!” Cobra chuckles from behind me. I’ve been sittin’ in the club waitin’ on his ass for the last two hours. Of course, this motherfucker wasn’t anywhere near the club when he told me to get here as soon as possible.
“The only thing I want to do right now is snap that scrawny little chicken neck of yours,” I hiss, never really likin’ him that much. Even from the moment the Brotherhood MC patched into the Reapers, the one person I wasn’t a fan of the most was Cobra. He’s cocky, a wiseass and thinks anything that comes outta his damn mouth is hysterical.
“I can’t blame you for that, but please don’t. And seriously honey, you’re going to take credit for something I found for you?” Izzy comes struttin’ up behind him with her purple hair a little lighter. It’s been losing a bit of its hue. It was a deep velvet purple for a couple of weeks but now it’s closer to lilac.
“You found this fuck?” I question, a bit confused on how Izzy knew anything to begin with.
She rolls her eyes dramatically and plops down on the couch beside me, pulling her left leg up and tucks it under her ass then does the same with the other. Once she’s pretzel style she starts yappin’ her jaws. “How do you think my lovely boyfriend learned jack shit about computers and finding people? I’m a relentless bitch when it comes to getting the truth, Dixon. He wasn’t finding anything so I started looking, and I found this,” She pulls her phone from her cross-body purse and an image appears of my sister, but she appears much thinner. She’s already a skinny girl to begin with, so now it makes me more ticked. There’s some tan, blonde dude with his arm around her. He’s got one of those ‘flash your teeth’ smiles and I can tell the bastard must spend all his money on his looks. “There’s your sister, obviously. The man she’s with is Toby Bluff.”
“Is that his stripper name?” I grumble, irritated by simply starin’ at the dude.
She lets out a short laugh, “It should be. He had his last name legally changed to Bluff in 2009 when he won his first poker championship. His net worth is in the millions and overall his record is clean. Although, he does have a couple of assault charges. If you were to ask me my opinion, I’d tell you I’m pretty certain this guy pays off his victims.”
Furrowing my brows, I get a bit confused. “I thought you said his record was practically clean?”
“It is. However, given his past record and a few online rumors I believe he pays off his victims so they don’t report him to the police. After all, when you’re a man with his wallet size isn’t it easier to pay off people so they don’t open their mouth?”
I nod, finally understanding what Izzy is getting at. “Alright. Thank you for your help.” I extend my hand to shake hers and she shakes.
“It’s adorable how you think I’m done,” Izzy reaches into her purse and pulls out a small business card lookin’ thing. “I have three known addresses to places he frequents. I’m betting you can find him at one of these places tonight.”
“Shit, brother. Your girl is slick,” I tell Cobra, who smirks from behind her.
“It’s why she’s my girl.” He smiles.
Standin’ up from the couch I glance down at the card. One of the addresses is a residential property, one is a bar just off the strip and another is a brothel out just a ways from the strip. Why in the fuck would a man like this need to pay women for sex? “Thank you for this, Izzy. I’ll find a way to pay you back.”
“Don’t worry about paying me back. Just go show this fucker why you don’t mess with our people.” Izzy waves me off, dismissing me. She’s one of them uppity bitches, but I sure do like her. Walkin’ out of t
he clubhouse I go up to Amara’s trailer and knock on her door.
The door opens quickly but I don’t see Amara. Instead, I see Cheyenne. Though, she’s half naked and walks right out past me. “Well, alright then . . .” I mutter to myself, takin’ the liberty to waltz right in.
“Oh, fuck yes.” I hear Amara moaning from the back of her house. Considerin’ the layouts are practically the same I walk straight back there until I’m standin’ in her doorway. Amara has her back against the wall, holding someone’s face against her crotch. Obviously, some chick is givin’ her the best head of her life. The bleach blonde hair comes down to the chick’s ass. She’s thin, so I crane my neck to try and figure out who she is.
Though, I figure out quickly there’s only one blonde woman in our club. Tatiana, one of the whores who works for the brothel. I lean against the frame of the door and watch this Russian chick give Amara head, until I hear a sloshing sound and wait until they’re finished. Tatiana rises, kisses Amara for a good bit and turns around to gasp at the sight of me.
Amara on the other hand doesn’t look pleased. “Go take a piss, clean yourself up and get on your bike. We’re goin’ to pay that fucker Toby a visit.” I instruct, turnin’ and walk down her hallway. I go through the kitchen, living room and exit her house then go over to Chaz’s which is just across the way.
He’s standin’ outside vaping so I don’t even bother walkin’ all the way up to him. It wouldn’t be so bad if he vaped normal shit, but banana nut bread isn’t somethin’ I prefer to smell all the time. “We’re ready to roll out and snag this fuck. C’mon,” Chaz immediately stops what he’s doin’ at my order and we walk side-by-side over to where our bikes are parked.
I decide to make a call to Indra while I can and she answers on the first ring, “Hey, didn’t expect you to call me. You alright?”
“Yeah, Zen. I’m just fine. Gettin’ ready to go out on a run so I wanted to call and check in.” Indra still doesn’t know everything about the club life, but she’s a hell of a quick learner.
“You’re going after her ex, aren’t you?” Indra asks.
“Yep, you got it baby. How’s Jalen doin’?” I ask, wantin’ to change the subject.
“He’s fine, watching Cars again. I swear, he’s watched the same freaking movie at least a thousand times.”
“Haha, I love that little guy. He’s a real gem, you know?”
“I want you to meet my parents, Dixon. They’re coming to town next week and I really want them to meet the man who makes us so happy.” Indra says outta nowhere.
Shit, I don’t know how to tell her this but parents aren’t really a fan of me. “Babe, they’ll hate me. No one’s parents ever like me.”
“Well, my parents aren’t anyone else’s because I’m an only child, so suck it!” I can practically hear the way she’s smilin’ through the damn phone.
“Fine, I’ll meet ‘em. But, don’t blame me when they wanna tear us apart, and don’t you dare give in ‘cause you’re stuck with me forever.” I tell her, hearin’ her infectious laughter as my response.
“Love you Dixon. Be careful while you’re out and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Of course, baby. I love you and give Jalen a kiss on the cheek for me.”
“Will do,” She responds, ending the phone call. I tuck my cell in the pocket under my cut and see Amara waltzin’ up to Chaz and I.
“If you’re in a shit mood I’m gonna be so pissed. After what I just witnessed, damn girl.” I joke. I’ve always treated Amara like one of the guys. She’s part of our club which hasn’t had women until her, so she should be able to shoot the shit like we do too.
“Whoa, what the fuck happened?” Chaz butts in.
“I walked in on Cheyenne leavin’ Amara’s house and heard some noise comin’ from the back. Brother, she was up against the wall with Tatiana on her clit like a fuckin’ vacuum. I didn’t even know you were into chicks, Amara. And fuck, I didn’t know Tatiana was either!” I laugh.
Amara on the other hand smiles devilishly. “I’ll be real, I don’t want to fuck anyone here at the club because I’ve been down that tree and went back up it too many times to count. It never ends well. I even fucked his ass and he got too attached,” Amara points to Chaz.
“Whoa, I didn’t get attached.” Chaz defends himself.
She raises her brows, “I fucked you once and you told me you wanted me to be your ol’ lady. In what fuckin’ world is that not attached?”
“Shit,” I mutter.
“Is Cheyenne a lesbian? I heard a rumor she is.” Chaz asks.
Amara nods, “Yep, she sure is. I invited her in on a little fun between Tatiana and I. Let me just say . . . holy fuck, that woman knows how to do everything the right way.”
“If you ever want a real cock instead of that fake dildo shit, you just call me, okay muffin?” Chaz toys, grabbin’ ahold of his crotch.
“Call me muffin again and you won’t have balls.”
“Shit, let’s get goin’. Use some of that anger on this Toby fucker, alright?” I tell her, kickin’ up my stand I take off and leave the two bickerin’ bitches in my dust. They’ll catch up quickly if they want some action tonight.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Remember, what you do now will come back to you in the future. Life has a funny way of making you deal with what you make others go through.
~ Quotling.com
Dixon
A deep dark part of me wanted the three of us to split up and check out every address Izzy gave me. But I knew that could be the dumbest thing we did. Splittin’ up would cause too much risk. Shit could go sideways. So, we stuck together and checked them all out.
The residential property was a little difficult to get to because whoever owns the fuckin’ joint has 6-foot-tall concrete barrier fences and security cameras. But, we found a loophole where there wasn’t a camera. I hoisted Amara up, she ran in and checked everything out. Chaz and I figured a skinny little thing like her wouldn’t have been spotted as easily as two burly bikers. One thing we didn’t think about when we hoisted her up was how she’d get back over. That was entertaining to say the least. She had to climb up a fuckin’ tree to get on the barrier and walk over to where we were. Unfortunately, she didn’t find Toby Bluff.
We headed for the bar next, figurin’ it was smarter to hit up the busier area first before we went out to the brothel. The three of us went right in, searched every nook and cranny of the buildin’ and didn’t find him. For fuck’s sake. I think we were all feelin’ a bit of stress. The only other thing we could do was go straight to the brothel.
So, we did. We went up the highway, turned off to one of the local roads and drove back until we hit the entrance of the property. This particular brothel does have a reputation, for doing anything you want. The women here truly don’t give a fuck. They just wanna be paid. I’ve heard of some hardcore shit goin’ on with any sorta kink you could imagine.
Instead of rollin’ quickly we decide to park our bikes at the entrance, but a little ways off so they’re hidden a bit. I don’t wanna give anyone a heads up we’re here. Especially that fuck who got off on hurtin’ my little sister.
It’s dark out but every hundred feet or so they have lights positioned on the electric poles. Multiple buildings scatter around the property, much like at the clubhouse. There’re a couple bigger buildings on the side and in the middle, while smaller house type cabins are separated from the bigger structures.
“This shit couldn’t be easy,” Chaz grumbles under his breath.
“Finding assholes like this never is.” Amara points out, and man is she right or what. These types of guys are the scum of the scum, the lowest of the low. They know how to hide like a rat does from an exterminator.
“We’ll search every joint in this place until we find him. I’m not gonna let this shithead get away with what he did to Abbey, and by God, he’ll tell me where to find the other guy too.” I tell them as we walk further down the dirt lane that
leads back into the property.
“If he even knows who he is,” Chaz says.
“He will. You think a guy like him didn’t look into the guy that stole my sis from him? Pssh, he knows.” I hiss, keepin’ my eyes peeled for any sort of movement. It’s somewhat late, but not too late, so I’m bettin’ this place will still be a bit active.
“Why look into someone when it won’t do you any good? Like hell, if I lost a girl there isn’t a way in hell I’d keep after her and do some research on the new guy she’s with.” Chaz tells Amara and I.
“Yeah, I get that, but you need to remember this guy isn’t like you. He’s an abuser, who thrives off of making women feel inferior than him. From what I heard Abbey didn’t just leave him, whoever the new guy she’s dating is, he took her straight from Toby. Like some knight in shining armor shit.” Amara says to the group of us. I wanna know how she knew so much about Abbey, but the reality is Cheyenne or Sakura probably said somethin’ when she was around.
“What in the fuck?” A man’s voice says from our right. Chaz must’ve spotted him a second ago because he’s nowhere to be found and the next thing I see is this bastard’s body jolting forward, hitting the ground. Chaz comes into view with a 2x4.
Mayhem: A Reapers MC Boxset Page 11