“Yeah, I’ll get right on that smartass. C’mon,” Zane extends his hand and pulls me up, then we go down the stairwell through the living room and enter the kitchen.
Zane opens the fridge, pulls out a carton of eggs, some milk, and orange juice. Next thing I know he’s pulling things from the cabinets like he’s a contestant on Top Chef.
The front door opens and in comes a man who looks exhausted as can be. Bags are under his eyes and they even look a little blue. “I thought you’d be in your house, not here.” The guy grumbles. He has dark hair but it’s mostly a salt and pepper look. His facial hair is well defined and matches. As he approaches I see this is Blackjack from his name on his cut, he’s Ashley’s husband.
“Congrats on your new bundle of joy,” I comment.
The man smiles, “Thank you. I appreciate it. Welcome to the family.”
“What’re you doin’ here?” Zane questions.
“Ash told me to take a damn break and check on how things were here. With you bein’ gone she knew I should be on full alert and shit. Man, he picked the worst time to make his grand entrance into the world.” Blackjack states, rubbing his hand across his chin.
“They usually do. I sure think he had some help,” Zane grumbles.
“Speaking of that, the next time I see your dumb fuck of a brother I’m gonna knock his teeth out. We were lucky neither of them were hurt, so fuckin’ lucky.”
“Hey, I about killed him. If it wasn’t for Ivy walkin’ in their back door I probably would’ve snapped his neck in two.” Zane confesses. He’s putting flour in a bowl, adds milk and two eggs.
“Jesus, I get why he wanted to give her a heads up but he could’ve been smarter about it.” Blackjack says.
Oh crap. I don’t think this is going to end well. “Why’s that?” Zane tries to keep his shitty tone undetectable, but I can tell he’s aggravated.
“Look, you have a different relationship with Ash than Kade does. Kade and Ash connect on some weird emotional level, even I don’t get it and I’m fuckin’ married to her. But you and Ash . . . you’re a tad bit different. You two bicker and fight like dogs, but at the end of the day she’s the one who listens to whatever’s on your mind. My belief is Kade wanted to tell her a bit so she could fully process it before you came to her.”
“He was still an idiot,” Zane replies, not denying anything Blackjack said.
“Yup. Why aren’t you at your house?” His question confuses me. Isn’t this Zane’s house?
Zane shrugs his shoulders after he pulls a skillet out of the cabinet. He pours some oil and the batter into the pan before he replies. “That might be my house, yeah, but this is my home. I know the plan was for that to be my home, but I can’t stay there. This is the place I connect with. When I got back last night, I told the guys to get outta the basement and rooms here and head over there. It’s big enough to house a few of ‘em.”
Blackjack nods like he understands, “Yeah, I could see that. You were raised here after all.”
“Mhm. The foreman I chatted with the other day told me they’re getting behind schedule again. At this rate . . . shit, if we don’t get a big snow like we typically do in November. But if we get snowfall, it’ll throw the schedule off soon. They won’t be able to get their equipment down here.”
“Equipment?” Blackjack questions, drawing his brows together.
“Yeah, I’m having them add a couple other buildings on the property.” Zane explains.
“What? You never said that to anyone or put it up for a vote.”
Zane sighs, “‘Cause sometimes we just have to act on shit. The overall goal is for the club to expand, right?”
“Damn straight,” Blackjack confirms.
“Yeah, then we’ll outgrow the shit we have quickly. They’ll add another mini-version of a clubhouse with its own bar, kitchen, and living area. It’ll have about eight rooms too. Then I’m addin’ a place for some clubwhores. The good news is the clubhouse is almost done. In the meantime, we’ll let the girls stay in my house.”
“What about the other house?” Blackjack inquires. He’s talkin’ about the house that was supposed to be Kade’s.
“If we have visitors from Vegas, or one of our allies make a trip up here. We’ll just use that. Sound good?”
“Yep, but you know the brothers are gonna give you some shit, goin’ rogue and all that.” Blackjack says.
“I can handle it. Syd been okay since I’ve been gone?” Who is Syd?
“Yeah. Misses you like hell, though. She’s been a great help with Noelle. Keeps the girl outta trouble.”
Zane smiles widely at that, flipping the batter over in the pan and I realize he’s making us breakfast. Pancakes from the looks of it. “We’re fine here, brother. Go back to Ash. Lemme know when it’s good to come up and see the kiddo.”
“Will do. See ya later,” Blackjack says to Zane, but he walks closer and wraps his arms around me. “Welcome to the family, Octavia. We might be a bit much at times, but we stick together. We got your back, no matter what.” Blackjack pulls away, giving me a half smile.
I don’t know why, but I feel warmth swell in my chest. Somehow, for some reason, I believe every word he’s just said. I do feel safe here, and most of all, I feel accepted. Now I’m just wondering who this Syd character is. My anxiety is saying Syd could be a clubwhore he prefers up here . . . and Zane never told me he was like that.
By that, I mean just like my father.
Chapter Seventeen
Let it hurt. Then let it go
~ R.H. Sin
Zane
Silence. It feels like it’s wrapping around our bodies, swarming around us. But why is it so quiet? I don’t know but I’m about to find out. “Somethin’ wrong?” Octavia’s in the middle of chowing down on some homemade pancakes.
I cock a brow, showin’ her I’m serious. She finishes chewing, takes a sip of the fresh coffee I just finished brewing and clears her throat. “I’m just curious why you didn’t tell me about your clubwhore,” She grits out, grinding her teeth while glaring at me.
“What clubwhore? We don’t have any at the club.” I state, tellin’ her the truth. We had a couple clubwhores, but Saffron was killed. Blossom got her ass kicked to the curb for bein’ a disrespectful piece of shit and Shiloh said she didn’t want to do it anymore. Axel, Grim and Zorro had rotated between her for a while, but now she wants a real relationship. Can’t say I blame her ‘cause at the end of the day everyone deserves to be happy, even her.
Octavia laughs, but she doesn’t think my response is funny. Nah, it’s the type that makes you feel like they’re onto whatever game you’re playin’. “Syd? It’s obvious she’s your woman. It’s fuckin’ obvious, Zane. I thought we were moving into this without lies, and you didn’t tell me about her? Seriously?” Octavia’s cheeks flush with a blush pink. Looks like the girl is gettin’ worked up.
I lean back in my chair and nod my head, not sayin’ a damn word. If she wants to think she knows the facts when she doesn’t have a damn clue, by all means I’ll let her. She’ll be the one lookin’ like an idiot at the end of the day. “I mean, sounds like you know the whole story to me.” I keep my tone flat, cross my arms and let her believe the story she already convinced herself was true. It’s not me who’s gonna look like a bitch who overreacts when all this is said and done.
I peer down to my phone and see a message from Blackjack. So, I pick up my phone and take a look.
From: Blackjack
When you swing by can you grab Noelle and Sydney? She knows your back but I wanted to take some time and chat with you. See if you still want her stayin’ with us or if there’s another plan. I’ll be real with you brother. She misses you. She asks me every damn day if she’s coming to live with you. But, if you’re not ready for that . . . it’s okay. She can stay with me and Ash. Just let me know.
To: Blackjack
Yeah, sounds good. Things are finally starting to settle down here, so I think I’m re
ady. I appreciate you and Ash watchin’ over her and bein’ there for her when I wasn’t mentally prepared to be. But, it’s about time she comes home. I wanna make this official man. I wanna adopt her, ‘cause she is family. I love that little girl like she’s my very own.
I made a lot of mistakes after my dad died. Too many. I became a shell of the man I was for far too long. Sydney’s mom was Saffron, the clubwhore who got killed. An enemy of the club blew up our clubhouse and it started a fire. Saffron was burned alive, and to top it all off, she was in a relationship with my dad who was the club Prez at the time. A few months later he ended up meeting his maker after protecting Alexa from her psychopath of a father. Sydney isn’t my sister, but she almost was. Her biological father is deceased, a club member named Tank who died a few years back.
I know more than anything that they wanted Sydney to have a normal life, to grow up with a mother and a father. She’d sure get that with my sister and Blackjack, but . . . I can’t . . . let her go. I wasn’t right in the head for a while, but now I’m back to my old self. I’m okay, and I’ll be the best adoptive dad to her as I can. I’ll fuckin’ cherish her like the little angel she is.
“Didn’t you need me to text your guy Chains to get your equipment shipped here?” I ask while I have my phone unlocked. She might be losin’ her damn mind, but she still needs her shit.
Octavia mumbles back a response and a number, so I text the dude our address and simply tell him to send Octavia’s stuff here. She can’t text him since she stupidly smashed her fuckin’ phone.
The two of us finish up breakfast and a couple cups of coffee before I clean up the kitchen and put the dishes away. “We’re gonna head over to get the girls and go visit my sister and the baby,” I tell Octavia.
I own a Jeep Wrangler for the snowy months up here. Gets me in and out of it in a jif. “Alright,” She sounds so aggravated. Shit, she’s fuming about the clubwhore bit. I can’t wait to prove she doesn’t know anything.
Octavia and I head outside and walk down to the Jeep, all the while she’s cockin’ a brow. “What?” I ask, wantin’ to know what’s on her mind.
“Thought you’d be more of a truck guy.”
Snickering, I get in the driver’s side and she hops in the passenger side. We drive back down the lane that leads into the woods and go by the lake house. That’s where Blackjack and Ashley live with the kids.
While we approach, I’m kinda surprised to see Dex sittin’ out on the back porch. I narrow my eyes in on him and see he’s smokin’ and that damn sure isn’t a cigarette. I slam my foot on the brakes as soon as we get there and get outta the Jeep, rushing up to Dex and yank the blunt from his hands. “What the fuck, Dex? You have kids here you’re supposed to be watchin’.” I hiss.
I’m not an asshole. Mary Jane always helps me relax too, but I’d never cross the line and get high while being responsible for two young girls.
He rolls his eyes, “Shit, man. I was just startin’ to feel it too.”
“You’re gonna feel a fist to your face if your dad hears about this!” I warn.
Dex looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You think I don’t know y’all sell this shit, and things a thousand times worse? Don’t be hypocrites.”
“You’re a kid, Dex. You aren’t eighteen, yet. Alright? Shit, once you’re an adult you can make decisions like that, but I know for a fact your dad and Ashley don’t want you doing this stuff. Especially with college around the corner. You get in trouble and it could fuck up your shot at a scholarship. You want that to happen? Huh?”
“You don’t have to bullshit me, Zane. They don’t want me doin’ stuff like this ‘cause of my mom.”
Shit, there’s that too. Dex’s mom was a druggie and died from an overdose. “That might add to it, but kid . . . this shit isn’t good for you. But lemme just get real with you. You wanna prospect for the club at some point, yeah?”
“Obviously,” Oh, how much I hate the sass kids have these days.
“Not one person has ever joined our club who’s on this shit, so figure it out. Do you want drugs, or you wanna be a Reaper like your ol’ man?”
“Zane!” The door flies open at the sound of Syd’s voice and she comes running up to me. Before I know it, her arms are around my torso and she’s giving me the best hug. Shit, I missed her.
“Hey kiddo. I missed you.” Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her close.
“I missed you too! Can we go see the baby? I really wanna see the baby.” Sydney whines, pulling away with her hands clasped together like she’s praying.
“Why you here actin’ like you’ve never seen a baby when you saw Noelle?”
“Because. It’s not the same! I was so little back then. I don’t remember it. This time I promise I’ll soak it in. Please, can we go? Please! Please?!” Sydney’s pulling on my hand, yanking me toward the car.
“Girl, calm yourself! We’re going. We need Noelle, now don’t we?”
“I’m here,” Noelle comes walkin’ by, headin’ straight for the Jeep. Damn, this girl is . . . not like a kid at all. Sometimes I think I’m starrin’ in the movie Orphan, about the girl who appeared to be eight and had that growth issue. Turned out she was actually in her forties or somethin’.
“Yay, we can go!” Sydney hollers, running toward the Jeep.
I get Noelle secured in the booster seat and we’re off in no time, heading straight to the hospital. We stop at the café downstairs for some cookies which I won’t tell Ash or Blackjack about. They’re damn strict with Noelle when it comes to her sugar intake. Somethin’ about her bein’ hyper. Whatever, not my problem after I hand her back over to them. I grab another coffee and Octavia gets some sort of frou-frou drink.
Blackjack had told me the room Ashley’s in, so we all got in the elevator and made our way up to the maternity ward. Syd is stickin’ right by my side and Noelle is in front of us as we walk through the doorway of Ashley’s room.
“Hey pumpkin!” Ashley says to Noelle, smiling brightly with Fist in her arms, wrapped in some sort of blue blanket.
“Hi. Is that him?” She asks, seeming a bit curious. Noelle darts around to the other side of the bed so she can see him better.
“It sure is,” Blackjack answers, kneeling next to her they both look at the baby boy named after my father.
“What do you think?” Ash asks.
Noelle raises her brows, “He’s okay I guess, as long as I can still go to Princess Palace.” Shit, this kid is hysterical, holdin’ shit against them already. I fight holdin’ back my chuckle but Sydney can’t help it.
Her giggles fill the room and she runs over to see the baby too. Ashley shifts her arm to the right and gives them a better look, while Blackjack goes back to standing. “What do you think of him, Sydney? You think his name is fitting?” Ash asks.
I look right at Octavia, watching the second it clicks. Her eyes go wide and her mouth falls open. “I’m glad you finally know who Syd is.” I say with a shit eating grin.
“He’s kinda cute. I think . . . he’d be really happy with the name you gave h-him.” I hear her voice starting to choke up, immediately diverting my attention to her. Sydney gives me one look and I know she’s gonna let it all out. She steps away from Ashley and comes around the bed to me, walking straight up against me and starts sobbing.
Fuck. Out of everythin’ in my life, the only thing that rips me apart is seein’ this little girl cry. She’s been through so much trauma in her life. More than anyone should go through.
I kneel down and look at her, but she’s quick to adjust her arms around my neck, shielding her face from me. She keeps her head nestled against my chest, “I miss them. I miss my mom, and I miss Fist. He was my dad, even though he wasn’t my real dad . . . he was my number two dad and . . . and I-I don’t wanna lose my number three dad either.”
I pull my body from hers and look into her eyes, “What do you mean by that kiddo? Who’s your number three dad?” She has to mean Blackjack. He’s been
takin’ care of her since everything’s been goin’ on.
“You. I don’t want you to d-die too Z-zane!” She cries, tears streamin’ down her face.
“Oh Syd,” I mutter, pulling her close against my chest. I look back to my sister and see she’s tearing up. We all love Sydney so fuckin’ much it hurts. This little girl is one of us, and her blood doesn’t make her any less part of our family.
I take in a deep breath and tell Sydney what I’ve already decided, long before today. Though, I look at Ash and Blackjack while I say it. “Syd, I wanna take you home today. You’re not gonna lose me, I can promise you that. We’ve lost so much and I’m not gonna lose you. I . . . I made this decision long before today, but I . . . I wanna legally adopt you. I know we’re your guardians, but I wanna legally make you mine. You’re not gonna lose me, baby, ‘cause third times the charm.” I tell her.
“Morbid much?” Ashley grumbles in the background, givin’ me ‘what the fuck’ eyes.
“Are you serious?” Sydney asks, catching me a little off guard.
I nod, “Yeah, Syd. I ain’t ever been more serious about anythin’ in my life.” The kid might not understand the truth behind my words, but I swear on my mother’s grave I meant every word I just spoke.
Chapter Eighteen
One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change
~ Unknown
Octavia
I made a complete ass out of myself, and there isn’t one thing I could do to take it back. The moment Blackjack mentioned another woman’s name I thought I had it all figured out. Especially when Zane commented about how the clubwhores were getting their own living quarters.
Like, who even does that? It’s a bit peculiar if you ask me. They don’t even have any clubwhores here. Zane ended up telling me Shiloh used to be a clubwhore but isn’t, so they’re building a house for who exactly. Oh wait, that’s right— no one.
Mayhem: A Reapers MC Boxset Page 23