It could be my only chance to have her.
Fuck it.
I slide in my key, start my engine and head out to their hotel. Luckily for me, it’s only a few blocks away. I can do a lot of things in this life, but I can’t walk away from the possibility of being with her again . . . even if it means accepting Zane too. In more ways than one from what O’ said to me earlier.
She kept beatin’ around the bush, not sayin’ it flat out but I read between the lines. Zane is bisexual and he wants a third in their relationship so he can get his fill of cock too. Maybe I’m puttin’ it a bit blunt, although how else am I supposed to put it?
I only have to go through three intersections before I’m at the parking garage attached to their hotel. I grab my ticket, find a parking spot and go through the entrance until I find the elevators. Starin’ at the lit up numbers gettin’ closer and closer to the lobby only makes me even more nervous. There’s nothin’ calming about doing this, even if it means . . . gettin’ her back.
The doors open and I walk in, go right up against the back wall and turn, keepin’ my hands on the bar. The doors close and I know there isn’t any turnin’ back now.
God dammit. This shit isn’t easy and I damn sure wish it was. I’m sober as shit and I know it’s not helpin’. If I was a tad bit drunk I’m sure it would help, calm me down, make me a loosey-goosey and all of that.
The doors open once I’m on the fifteenth floor and I walk out onto the extravagant carpet. Hell, this guy must be able to afford the best of the best if they’re here. I see the arrows pointing to room 1589 on the right, so I head in that direction.
I’ve never had to share O’ with any man before. There isn’t a guidebook to this, to how to go through a proposed relationship where you’ll fuck a dude for the first time. But I’d fuck a man for her. Fuck, I’d get a massive cock slid into my ass without lube over and over again if it means havin’ her back in my life.
She’s . . . she’s the reason I’m even breathin’ right now. I owe the woman so much.
Sucking in a deep breath I stand in front of room 1589 and rap my knuckles on the door. Within an instant I hear the lock sliding and O’ appears in front of me, smiling lightly. “I wasn’t sure you’d show up.”
“You asked me to come, didn’t you?” I grit out, walking past her.
“I . . . I mean I wasn’t sure if you’d . . .” She stops trying to explain what we both already know. She wasn’t sure if I’d be open to this, or if I’d tell her and him to go fuck off and find someone else. I could’ve done that, but she came to me and asked me to come here tonight. She could’ve easily found someone else, but she came to me. Plenty of other men would’ve told her to start searchin’ for the man who checks off every box for the both of them, but I didn’t. Why?
It’s simple.
I love Octavia Spencer and I’m never gonna stop, and if I have a chance to be with her I’m gonna take it.
Octavia closes the door behind me and walks ahead of me, goes up to a dresser that’s now a bar with the amount of liquor on it. “You creatin’ some new mixed drinks or something?” I quip.
O’ laughs lightly, “No . . . I wasn’t sure what you’d be in the mood for. Depending which way the wind blows you have a different preference.” My eyes are glued on her in a light silver robe. It has this glitter like effect on it whenever the light hits it in a certain way, ‘causing her eyes to pop beautifully.
Dammit. She’s never looked more gorgeous.
I take a bottle of vodka, take a long drink and set the bottle down. At least I’ll get loosened up and relaxed a bit before anythin’ starts. “Thanks for showin’ up. Cinnamon wasn’t certain you would.” Zane says from behind me. It jolts me at first, but I’m bettin’ I should get used to that. Him bein’ behind me.
“Are you both serious about this?” I question, turnin’ enough to make sure I can read both of their expressions. Almost like they’ve rehearsed it, they nod at the same time.
“I wouldn’t have put either of you in this position if I wasn’t certain.” Zane states clearly.
“I . . . want to give this a shot. It’s the only shot we have, Inc.” O’ explains, seeming a bit hopeful.
“Alright. Just needed that to be made pretty fuckin’ clear.” I state, pickin’ up the bottle again for another drink.
Somehow, for some reason Octavia, Zane and I get in a serious drinking game. I’m about a fourth way through my vodka when O’ struts up to me and slams her lips onto mine. She tastes like Malibu, the sweet coconut rum coating her tongue. Damn, she’s like air and I’m suffocating after not having her for so long. It’s been months.
I’ve never had more need for someone than I do with her. My cock tightens behind my confining jeans at the way she paws at my chest.
“Dammit, O’.” I warn, cock pressing harshly against my zipper.
I don’t know how the fuck this is supposed to go, the rules or any of this. She’s thrown my cut on the bed and tore my fuckin’ white tee shirt straight off my back.
Damn, and I thought I was the needy one. I make quick work at the knot in the front of her robe and pull it off, throwin’ it on the damn floor before I see the deep navy-blue lingerie. Gems are all around it, makin’ her body look like a fuckin’ work of art.
“God dammit, I need to be inside you right now.” I hiss while turnin’ her around. I push her down onto the couch and her knees on the cushions. With my teeth I yank off her delicate panties and see her glistening pink pussy. A good coating of her essence is already there. Hell, I don’t need to go slow. I can go as fast as I want right now, and I need to plow my cock in her pussy.
Takin’ my jeans and boxers off, I kick them to the side, line myself up at her entrance and push forward. “Fuck, fuck!” Octavia moans, diggin’ her nails into the back of the couch. My hands are on her hips as I hold her in one spot, fuckin’ her tight little cunt harder than I ever have.
God, I missed her.
She tightens up on me again, already squeezing my cock, beggin’ for me to unleash my load inside her . . . but I won’t give her that yet. Fuck no, I’m gonna pull her to the edge over and over again before I give her my seed.
“You like when Inc fucks you like that, Cinnamon?” Zane asks. I already forgot he was here.
“Yes,” Octavia admits, “Oh God!”
I ram my cock in and out of her when something cold causes me to look behind my shoulder. Zane’s there, “Relax, boy. If you do, this will go that much easier. Unless you like the thought of me tearin’ your asshole up until I cum inside you?” Zane asks in a whisper, dragging his tongue from below my ear to the middle of my back.
He pushes forward and I feel an overwhelming burning sensation take ahold of me. I still continue to fuck O’, not wanting to stop. The combination of Zane pushing himself in my ass and her pussy tightening around me is slowly becoming a bit too much.
Zane moves further into me, maybe halfway, slowly going in and out, easing himself in with each thrust and I feel the hottest sensation shooting through me. My cock grows harder if that’s even possible and I increase my speed until my balls are slamming so hard against O’s body it sounds like I’m slappin’ the shit outta her.
“Fucking shit,” I hiss the moment Zane pushes the rest of himself in me. I realize the cold feeling wasn’t just lube, but metal too. This dude has some piercings on his cock. Zane pushes my back down to where I’m hovering over O’s back, still rolling my cock into her.
“Yes, please. I want more . . . God, Inc!” She starts to scream as the liquid pours over my cock. Her pussy clasps around my cock and I feel myself throbbing, ready to unleash myself in her.
“I’m gonna fill that pussy of yours, O’. It’s been too long,” I hiss, grabbin’ the back of her hair.
Zane speeds up and with his speed increasing, so does the warmth going through me. I realize now that him fucking me is what sends me over. I don’t know what his cock is brushing against, but hot damn, I’ve never
had an impending orgasm like this.
I struggle to keep moving as what feels like electric volts move through me. “Fuck, I’m cumming!” I hiss out, slamming my hips as quickly as I can against O’. Spurts of my semen shoot out, coating her inner walls while Zane’s breathing increases and he tenses up, going faster and faster until I think I can’t take it. Then all of a sudden he grows still, groaning out while he slides his hand around my front and palms the base of my cock.
We remain like this for what feels like a few moments, but it was probably minutes considering Zane was only partially hard when he pulled out of me, and I with Octavia. “Jesus, I need some water after that.” Octavia giggles in her typical carefree way.
“Sure thing, Cinnamon. What about you, Inc?” Zane asks and I nod.
“Yeah, that would be great.” I mutter, closing my eyes and the second I do I see his face.
“Don’t I ever see you flirtin’ with a boy like that again. You hear me? I didn’t raise my son to be one of those devil worshipping faggots. Is that what you are, Tanner? You a little queer piece of shit? Do I need to send you to one of them camps?” My father growls down at me, ‘cause he caught me when I almost kissed Wyatt.
I’m just gonna tell him Wyatt tried to kiss me. I’ll try and defend myself. That’s what I’ll do. But I can’t, because I see his closed fist approaching and I brace myself. “If you ever be one of them you won’t ever see us again, you won’t ever see any of us again! Even when we’re dead we’ll stop loving you. You hear me?!”
I open my eyes and see I’m still in the room with Octavia and Zane, but the memories of my childhood come crashing back. My father did end up sending me to a reformation camp for gay or bisexual children. One where they starved us, kept us in cages and made us lay in our own feces. We weren’t human to them. We were soldiers of Satan, determined to bring corruption on this world.
Octavia thinks my parents are dead, ‘cause that’s what I told her . . . but they aren’t. They’re alive, livin’ back in the sticks of West Virginia. I go there once a year to see them, but that’s it. I don’t have a great relationship with my father. My mom is the reason I lie, because I love her so fuckin’ much.
I can’t do this.
I can’t be with him.
I can’t be with her.
I can’t fucking be with them, even if it’s what I want. I can’t fucking do it, because it will cripple my relationship with the only family I have left. I’ll lose my ma, and I can’t bear it. Cancer has already taken her so many times . . . I can’t bear the thought of losing her because of who I am . . . who my father tried to pray out of me. Pray away the gay as they say.
Octavia doesn’t even know how my father was to me when I was younger . . . but I don’t ever want to let her know about my torment.
Before Zane brings me my water, I’m putting my clothes back on. Octavia must figure somethin’ isn’t right, ‘cause she comes up to me and places her hand on my forearm. “What’re you in a rush for?”
“I’m leavin’, O’. I can’t do this.” I say, grabbing my cut I slide it back on and go for my boxers and pants. As I’m getting dressed, she’s trying to plead with me, begging me to stay, praying I won’t leave.
Eventually, I grab her forearms and look her directly in the eyes. “I’m sorry O’, I tried this for you . . . but I can’t. I can’t fucking do this, okay? So, lets leave it at that. Fuck, you probably knew this wouldn’t work anyway.” I rip my hands from the grip I have on her forearms and start walkin’ for the door. Zane’s leanin’ against the wall, maintaining eye contact with me like he knows what’s going on. He might think he knows . . . but he doesn’t have a fuckin’ clue.
I grab the keys to my bike from the dresser by the drinks and shut the door behind me. A thump hits the ground and the heart-wrenching scream coming from the room I just left is almost enough to cause me to go back and tell her the truth.
I can’t.
At least, not now.
Whenever my mother passes things might be different . . . ‘cause at the end of the day I’ll always long for the woman I’m leaving behind. I just can’t risk not being there for my ma when she needs me the most.
She’s the strongest woman I know, but the illnesses that plague her won’t keep losing forever. I just need to do right by my family and be there for her when the time comes.
After that . . . well, then I can have the woman I love again . . . if she’ll have me.
Epilogue
Love doesn’t mean you always agree, see eye to eye, or never have an argument. It means despite the bad days you still can’t see yourself without this person.
~ Unknown
Octavia
Halloween
“You look stunning, baby girl.” My mom says, smiling at me in her cream knitted hat, wearing a long flowy sunflower dress. She pairs it with a knitted amber red cardigan. Her hair is the same shade as mine, now currently in dreads with flowers from the local shop put in random spots as a hair accessory.
“Thanks, Mom. I’m so glad you came.” I admit, never thinking I’d have her here on this day.
Today is the day I get married to Zane Monroe, a man who has inner demons, but is fearless for the ones he cares about. The man I assumed I’d end up hating . . . but in reality, I’ve fallen in love with him tremendously. He’s rough where I’m sensitive. He’s bossy where I’d rather not decide. At the end of the day, we make a very good pairing. Not only for the MCs, but for each other.
“Of course I’d come. I’d never miss this day, not in a million years. Plus, I didn’t have to change.” She giggles. Mom’s always dressed up as some sort of flowerchild, hippie type of woman. She’s a free spirit and I love her for it, even if when I was a child I didn’t understand.
“True,” I comment.
“Are you finally gonna tell me what you’re dressing up as?!” Sydney begs, standing beside us.
“You have no patience, Syd!” I bust out into laughter, hugging the girl.
I never thought I’d have a daughter, nevertheless one who’s going to be thirteen years old in a matter of days . . . but, I do. She was the greatest gift I’ve ever received in all of this. The amount of unconditional love she has for not only me, but Zane and the Reapers makes me want to cry. The poor girl has been through too much, more than any child should ever have to endure.
Her biological father died, then her mother, then her stepfather, and she was living with Ashley and her family while Zane got his shit together. “Does that mean you’ll show me? Come on, I’ve been waiting forever!”
Zane and I didn’t want to go the traditional route when it came to getting married. We wanted something just like us, fun-loving and exciting. So, we decided to get married on Halloween and have it here on the property.
“Yes. C’mon,” I tell her, going to the closet of the bedroom I share with Zane. Just as we approach it a sinking feeling hits me straight in the gut. I can’t remember if we put away the sex swing. Jesus. Sydney puts her hand on the knob and pulls it open and I scream, terrified the swing is there and a million questions will come with it.
Thankfully, when the door opens . . . nothing is there. “Geeze. What’re you freaking out for?”
“Sorry, I remembered there was a spider in here earlier.” I come up with the best lie ever, getting a nasty expression from Syd.
“Says the woman who had a tarantula as a kid, mhm.” My mom quips.
“First of all, it wasn’t a tarantula. You found it in the club and told dad it was my new pet so he wouldn’t kill it!” I argue, remembering how fucking scary that thing looked. Jesus. I hate bugs. It doesn’t matter what type they are. God, the thought makes me shiver right now.
I take ahold of the custom dress I had made for the wedding and pull it off the hanger. It’s strapless in a light but bright purple, while just at the waist it fades to a bright sea green which will stick to my body like glue. “Uh . . . am I supposed to know what this is?”
I’m a li
ttle dumb founded to be honest. “Yeah, I thought you would. Any guesses?”
“I could say something but I’m pretty sure you don’t want me to say it.”
I roll my eyes and grab Syd by her shoulders, “Ariel, from the Disney movie. Zane will be Prince Eric.”
“Oh, that’s supposed to be Ariel . . . it looked kinda uh . . . hussie-ish.”
My mom thinks this is hysterical and laughs her ass off. “I was only trying to be a bit sexy for Zane,” I murmur.
“You don’t need to try because you are every day.” Syd smiles.
“This is why I love you so much!” I pull the girl against me and hug her tightly before she pushes me away.
“I do need to breathe you know!”
“I wonder what the rest of the club is going to be dressed up as.” Mom says, only meeting everyone a few days ago when she got into town.
“Um, I bet Bull and Alexa will be pirates.” Syd says, so nonchalantly.
I about choke on air. “Syd, you can’t say things like that!” I try to correct her.
“Why not? She’s missing an eye. The patch would fit already ‘cause she has one. Bull’s missing a leg so he could be Captain Hook if he wanted I guess, but pirate’s loose their legs all the time.” Mom catches on and laughs so hard. Meanwhile, I cover my hand over my face and try to hide my smile. Zane is definitely rubbing off on Syd. She didn’t have this sense of humor before she moved in with us.
Just as the laughter dies down someone knocks on the door. “Come in,” I call, but then speak again. “Unless your Zane, then don’t come in!”
“Yeah!” Sydney adds.
The door opens and I’ve now seen the funniest thing in my entire life.
My father dressed up as the motherfucking Grinch. “You lost a bet, didn’t you?” Mom asks him, and the glare he shoots her is confirmation enough.
Things with my dad aren’t perfect, yet I know they never will be. I love him enough to forgive him for the way he’s treated me in the past, because he’s the first man who ever loved me. He’s the man who will always defend me whenever I need him, and, I won’t throw that away . . . even if he is the world’s biggest asshole.
Mayhem: A Reapers MC Boxset Page 29