“But what? What are you waiting for?”
“She’s too young.”
“Well, so are you in this world where people put off marriage and love until they’re ancient, but it’s not nature’s way. Many couples have begun younger than you two. Mother Nature intended for the young to make more young, to form bonds and raise babies before they’re older than dirt—”
Henry knew his face must be flaming. “I didn’t say anything about babies, Ruby.”
“Well, of course you didn’t, but that doesn’t change the facts. You two are in the prime of your lives.”
“Ruby—”
The older woman shook her head. “My point is that even if this isn’t forever, there’s nothing wrong with the two of you being attracted to each other. Lord knows that girl needs to know she’s loved, and it wouldn’t hurt you either.”
“Ruby—”
“Lord love a duck, you’d think I was advocating you ravish her on the Square,” she muttered. Then she exhaled and grinned. “Okay, okay. Let’s just start with this: let’s put our heads together and plan a family birthday party for Brenda.”
“She’ll know I told you she hadn’t had a party in a long time.”
“Is it a state secret?”
“Ruby…”
“I suspect she’ll find it a reassuring example of how much we think of her around here. Everybody deserves to feel loved and safe.”
That argument stopped him cold. Brenda did need that. “We can think about it,” he responded grudgingly.
Ruby smiled. “After your run this afternoon, Scarlett and I will meet you at her house. I need to see my little Georgia, anyway.”
Then Brenda returned with another order, and the morning rush cranked up in earnest, leaving them no more time to discuss.
Chapter Five
Blue slowed her car a little more with each hill she crested as she neared Sweetgrass Springs. The countryside was beautiful, the series of rolling slopes extending as far as the eye could see. In some ways it reminded her of the Smokies, though the hills were more gently rounded.
The vistas, however, were just as breathtaking.
She passed a sign that said she was five miles out, and she had to pull to the side of the road, suddenly unable to breathe evenly as fear swamped her.
Could she do this?
What if she didn’t recognize her own child?
What if Dilly saw through all the changes in her and rejected her immediately?
What if—
She wanted a drink, badly. Longed for oblivion, for an end to the remembering. So much she’d done wrong. So many reasons for her child to hate her. Hands frozen to the steering wheel, Blue sat staring straight ahead.
She could go back. Give up. Let the past go.
Except within her lay a dark place filled with regret. With a yearning to make right what she’d screwed up so royally. She could live out her life without contacting Dilly, without knowing how her daughter fared, yes.
But what would be the point of that life? How would she ever respect herself? What if Dilly needed her—
A harsh laugh clawed from her throat. If Dilly needed her. Why would Dilly ever trust her again? What did she really have to offer her child? She was nothing. No one. A poor wreck of a woman, a shell so thin it would crack under a breath. She was still nothing like the person she wanted to become, the mother Dilly deserved. Anyway, did Dilly even need a mother now?
I need mine, she thought. She’d never expected to feel that way about the mother who had turned her back on Catherine Marie Fontaine, declaring her unfit.
The hug Kitty had given her when she’d left had been the only real affection Blue had experienced in years.
Since the last time her daughter’s thin arms clasped her neck, that blonde hair lying against her throat as Dilly rested her head on her mother’s shoulder and slept.
I love you, Mère, the sweet, sleepy voice had said.
Tears dripped down Blue’s cheeks as she contemplated the waste she’d made of her life, the harm she’d done. Oh, sweet angel child….if only you could forgive…
For the first time in a long time, Blue wanted to die, and that scared her into sitting up straight, brushing at her cheeks.
No. I am not falling back into that pit of despair.
It was not up to Dilly to forgive her in order for Blue to have a reason to go on. Blue had no right to expect that from her child. Blue’s life lesson was not to need crutches—any crutches. To quit searching for something to help her get through her days and the endless nights that followed.
No, all that mattered now was what Dilly wanted, what she needed. Maybe they could never heal the breach Blue had created. Maybe she would find Dilly happy and free and strong and safe, in which case she wouldn’t need anything from Blue, and Blue would go.
But she had to know. Had to be sure that the hard life to which Blue had abandoned Dilly hadn’t destroyed her. If Dilly was hurt or lost or in need, Blue would find a way to help her.
But she had to be brave enough to walk into Sweetgrass Springs and see for herself.
She started the engine, drew a deep, bolstering breath, and pulled slowly onto the road that would lead her into a dream…or the nightmare of loss she knew only too well.
Dilly was all that mattered.
What Dilly needed must be her only focus.
The town was tiny, only a smattering of houses and too many empty buildings around the town square, yet she noted signs of construction, heard hammers and saws and nail guns, saw people moving about, stopping to speak…it was a pretty little town, the sort of place you read about in books or heard stories about.
Ruby’s Diner. She spotted the sign immediately, and her breath caught.
Because there, in the window, was a sign. Help Wanted. The place where the lawyer said her daughter was working might have room for her. A sense of hope rose from the nerves tangling her up.
Blue fought the temptation to hit the gas and race out of town.
Dilly might be inside that building right now. If she could summon the nerve to enter, she might see the face she had loved like no other, however badly she had failed her child. Dilly was the best of her, the only hope Blue had of ever mattering in this world.
She found a parking place and forced herself to turn in.
Ruby was gathering her things to leave for the afternoon nap Scarlett had badgered her into taking, just as soon as Henry returned from his run. Ah, to be young again and not care that the afternoon’s heat was still fierce, even though the calendar said it was fall. Fall would not come to Central Texas for another few weeks, and meanwhile, that boy rose with the chickens to work on the garden he’d planted for Scarlett, then arrived to cook each day as faithfully as the sunrise, working all day and into the night, then disappearing to let Spike teach him how to decorate Brenda’s birthday cake for the surprise party he was determined to give her.
“Ruby?” Brenda approached. “Do you have a minute?”
“Of course, child. What’s on your mind?”
The girl who never asked for anything was white-knuckled as she spoke. “Um, I was wondering if you knew that Henry’s birthday is coming up?”
“I do. This Saturday, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” The girl hesitated.
“What is it?”
“Well, I was just wondering if maybe we could give him a party.”
Ruby had to work hard not to burst out laughing. Oh, the tangled webs we weave… “On Saturday?”
“No. I know that’s a busy day for everyone, with Dreams open that night. But I was wondering about Sunday when the cafe is closed. I would do all the work—” she hastened to reassure. “But…I don’t really have anywhere to hold it, and anyway, everybody likes Henry so much, so I was thinking maybe—”
Sunday was the day Brenda’s surprise party would be held. Ruby couldn’t fight her smile any longer. “Sunday makes sense.” She thought rapidly about the logistics. Brenda’s party
was being held at Scarlett and Ian’s new home. Scarlett had promised Henry she’d find an excuse to get Brenda over there. But if preparations were underway when she arrived…
“It does?” Delight swept Brenda’s features. “Could we do it at your house? I promise I’d do all the work and clean up. Or maybe we should do it here, since I bet lots of people would want to come. We’d have to wait until after church, of course. Do you think afternoon or evening is best?”
“Could I think about it just for a bit?” Ruby loathed claiming the infirmity of age, but sometimes it came in very handy. She wasn’t too shameless to seize upon that excuse. “I’m just a little tired right now.” For effect she pressed her fingers to her temple.
“Oh, I’m sorry! I can wait. Don’t worry about it at all. I was just—”
Ruby clasped the girl’s shoulder. She was the sweetest soul, always so thoughtful and hesitant to ask for anything. “After I nap, we’ll put our heads together, all right?” That would give her time to call Scarlett.
The girl’s brow furrowed. “But Henry will be back…”
“Don’t you worry. I’ll think of some ploy to get him out of the way so we can talk. Leave it to me, all right?” Madly calculating, Ruby hoped Scarlett wasn’t napping, too. She was itching to return to work full-time, but Ian was insisting on her honoring the full three months Dr. Jake had recommended for her maternity leave. Already she had broken that, cooking at Dreams one night, but that had been a special circumstance. “Laura can take over for me if necessary. We’ll get this figured out.”
“Oh, thank you, Ruby—I just—”
The bell over the front door rang out.
“Oh, drat.”
“I can take care of this customer, Ruby. You go on and rest,” Brenda said. They were technically open all day, but this time of the afternoon was generally only folks wanting coffee and a piece of pie.
The woman who stood there looked uncertain.
Brenda walked into the dining room. “Welcome to Ruby’s Diner.”
The woman stared at Brenda, her body language stiff. Brenda was reaching for a menu when the woman spoke.
Brenda’s reaction was immediate. She let go the menu and hurried in Ruby’s direction. “Ruby!” Her voice was an excited whisper. “She’s here about the job. She says she has experience. Do you want me to ask her to come back?”
The woman looked half-starved, like an alley cat that had been on its own too long.
But Lord knew they needed more staff. “No. We need the help too badly. I’ll speak with her now.”
“But your nap—”
Ruby rolled her eyes. “If you don’t tell Scarlett, I sure won’t.”
Brenda hesitated, always the good girl, timid about taking chances or stepping wrong.
“Honey, I’ve been running this place longer than you’ve been alive, you and Scarlett combined. Now go get us some coffee, and let me take care of business.”
“Then you’ll go lie down, after you’ve spoken to her?”
“Do you want me to fire you on the spot for insubordination?”
“No, ma’am.” But Brenda’s eyes twinkled. “As if you would.”
“Don’t be impertinent, missy,” Ruby grumbled. But she winked at the girl and patted her arm as she moved past.
Blue could hardly rip her gaze from the young woman who must surely be her Dilly.
“Hi, there. I’m Ruby Howard. Brenda tells me you’re here for the job. You say you have experience?”
Brenda. The beautiful young fairy was indeed her child. She’d been a very pretty little girl, but now…
Her eyes were Blue’s mother’s eyes, her flaxen hair the color Blue’s had been when young. She was smaller than Blue by a few inches and softly rounded where Blue was hard and lean. She seemed so pure and untouched…
“Ms.—?” The tiny woman named Ruby prompted.
Blue yanked her focus away, but her heart was beating so fast she felt faint. “I’m sorry. I—” Frantically she thought what to say. “I left very early, and I’ve been driving much of the day.”
“Where did you come from?”
“Abilene.”
“And what brings you to Sweetgrass?”
This old woman was sharp. And Blue had much to hide. “I was planning to look up some old friends in San Antonio on my way to the next sale. But I like the look of this place.”
“What kind of sale?”
When the girl turned to speak to a young man who’d entered the kitchen, Blue caught the look on Dilly’s—Brenda’s face. He was important to her.
“What did you say your name was again?”
“Blue. Blue Fon—Fondreau.” What would happen if she said her correct last name around in front of Dil—Brenda? She couldn’t afford to spook her. Ruthlessly she dragged her attention back to the woman before her. “I wait tables during the week, but on weekends, I attend mini warehouse sales.”
Ruby cocked her head. “Why?”
“I resell much of what’s in a unit, but—” I collect families. “—some things I keep.”
“That’s an interesting line of business. It pay well enough to justify losing Friday and Saturday night tips?”
“I’ve gotten pretty good at it, so yes.”
Ruby shook her head. “That won’t help us. We need someone who’s available all week.”
Blue’s heart sank, but before she could speak, Ruby continued, “We’re closed on Sundays, however. You’d have that day for your own purposes.”
The sales seldom occurred on Sunday.
But Blue had other priorities.
“I’m not ready to start buying down here, anyway. I’d like to know more about this part of the state first. It would be better to spend some time looking around before trying to compete in a new area, figure out who the important players are and such. If I would commit to working here full-time whenever you need me, that would give you time to decide if I’m helping you enough for you to be flexible, and I can see if I’m leaving money on the table by not continuing with buying storage units.” In reality, she’d give up everything for this chance, but she’d learned a few things about negotiating.
Ruby stared off into the distance for a moment. “I’ll want you to meet our head waitress, Jeanette Carson. She’ll have to sign on. How soon could you start?”
Blue’s heart lifted. “I’ll need to find a place to stay, but I could start tomorrow if that’s all right. Any apartments around here?”
“Not hardly.” Ruby grinned. “I have a boarding house out back, but it’s full to the brim until Henry—the young man you see in the kitchen with Brenda—finds his own place as he’s wanting to. Brenda doesn’t seem to be ready to move. You got any references?”
Blue swallowed. “I do, but could I talk to you in private for a minute?” She had only Kitty, and she desperately didn’t want to reveal her prison record, but the person she was trying to become wouldn’t hide her past.
Well, not that part, anyway.
Dilly was another matter. Blue needed to feel her way very carefully before she revealed any of that, and certainly not to a stranger.
Di—Brenda would have to be told about their relationship first, and Blue had no idea if her daughter would welcome her or loathe her very presence.
Ruby led her across the dining room and settled into a booth. “You in trouble? I need the help badly, but not that badly.”
Blue clasped her fingers together until her knuckles shone white. “Not now I’m not…” She lifted her gaze and met the woman’s eyes square. “But I was in prison. Released early for good behavior a year ago.”
“What was your crime?” Ruby didn’t reveal her thoughts at all.
“Being stupid. And careless. I got involved with a man who decided to rob a convenience store when he ran out of beer. I didn’t participate, but…I was there. The judge didn’t care that I’d never been in trouble before. He was a hang ’em high judge, if you know the type.”
“That I do.�
�� Ruby studied her. “How long were you in?”
“Ten years.”
“A lot of time for someone who only watched.”
“The clerk was killed. I was sick about it—still am—and I swear to heaven I didn’t play any part, but…I was there. I guess the good Lord decided I needed a harsh lesson.” Ruby couldn’t begin to know how hard.
“You got a parole officer I can talk to?”
“Not on parole anymore, but yes. She’ll say I’ve kept my nose clean ever since I got out.” Blue’s fingers lost feeling from being clasped so tightly. She forced herself to stretch them out. “It’s okay. Not a lot of folks want to take a chance on someone with a record. I’ll just gather my things and—”
One small worn hand laid on top of hers. “Hold your horses. Look at me.”
Blue made herself meet Ruby’s gaze, even as inwardly she shivered. What had she been thinking to come here? Ruby would tell Brenda she was an ex-con, and then even if Blue could work up the nerve to reveal who she was, there would already be a sizable strike against her.
“I don’t hold with quitters, Blue. I see hard times in your eyes but I see a woman who’s learning her own strength. Sweetgrass and the cafe, they’re not just a town or a restaurant. This cafe is the heart of Sweetgrass Springs, and I have devoted my life to making sure this town survives. We need folks who want to help Sweetgrass prosper, who are willing to pitch in. We need hard workers and strong hearts. You got those?”
“I’m definitely a hard worker.” She swallowed hard. “My heart is a little battered and unsure, but most of that is my own fault.”
“I’m a strong woman. I recognize grit in others. I’m not perfect—I drove away my own child, and I never got her back.” The sorrow in Ruby’s gaze ran as deep as Blue’s own. For a moment she wanted desperately to tell this woman who she was and what she’d done…but she’d made her mess all on her own, and she’d have to fix it.
“I’m real sorry.”
“So am I. A part of me won’t ever get over it, but—” Ruby’s whole expression lightened. “I got a second chance. One day a stranger showed up here, and she turned out to be the granddaughter I never knew I had. She didn’t come here planning to stay, but she did, and now she’s married to a fine man and just gave birth to a daughter she named after my own child. Did I deserve this blessing?” Ruby shook her head. “I don’t know. All I was doing was hanging on, and then one day, everything changed.”
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