A bolt of anger ran through Duncan at her words. “And how would you know what her mother would want? You didn’t know her. How dare you try to manipulate my child?”
She was gazing up at him, wide-eyed, mouth agape as if she might be surprised that he was annoyed at her high-handedness. How she could think he would support her behavior was beyond him. “You are here to teach my children, not to raise them,” he growled.
Her mouth shut with a loud click. “I…apologize.” She said very softly.
Immediately he felt remorse pierce his heart. His anger was irrational and better aimed at himself. If Nancy had been rude to her, then she was right to have chastised her. He did not want to raise ill-mannered brats. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes before opening them and gazing at her in apology.
“Listen, I’m sorry. I will speak with my daughter and get to the bottom of this.”
She continued to gape at him as if she could not comprehend his words or his actions. “I…yes, all right,” she squeaked.
He tried on a strained smile for her benefit. “I suppose I have not had enough sleep. I am irritable. Forgive me.”
She nodded, lashes lowering to hide her expression. “It’s quite all right, My Lord.”
Something in her tone made him think that it was in fact not all right. He waited for her to lift her lashes, meet his gaze again, but she kept her eyes lowered. He hesitated, knowing he should leave but not wanting to leave this, whatever it was, unresolved.
Tentatively, he reached out, placing his hand very gently on her cheek, marveling at its softness even as he held his breath, wondering if she would pull away from him. If he was honest with himself, he could acknowledge that he was quite smitten with her.
She went very still when his fingers landed on her cheek, not moving a muscle even as he ran them down her jaw in order to cup her chin, and lift her head. It took a moment for those long lashes to lift–slowly–so that he could once again see her eyes. He drowned in them for a moment, before shaking himself internally. “Miss Fletcher,” he rasped, “do not lie to me, please.”
She jerked in his hand, startled, her eyes blinking rapidly. “I-I-I’m not.”
He tilted his head to the side, keeping hold of her gaze. “Aren’t you?”
She tried to drop her eyes but he would not let her. In the end she sighed, surrender showing in her amber depths. “I do not like that you are…” she gestured toward him, pursing her lips, “you have a responsibility to your children and yet you stay out late at a gaming hall and engage in dissolute behavior. Now you are paying for it with red-rimmed eyes and inattention. It wasn’t necessary.”
Her little tirade disconcerted him. She seemed to be quite angry at him for getting drunk! He could not see what business it was of hers, but he understood that it hurt her to see him like this.
He sighed. “You are right, of course. I do have a responsibility. One I take very seriously. I do not appreciate your judgments. You do not know anything about my life.”
She dropped her eyes, blushing prettily. “You’re right. I have no right to be angry at you. Yet having seen the effect of dissolute behavior in my own life, I would not wish it on your children.”
He frowned. “You are concerned for them.”
She nodded, still not looking at him.
He cupped her chin and raised her face so that she could see that he was moved by her care for his children. “Thank you for that.”
Her eyes widened again. “It is nothing.”
He shook his head. “You have that entirely wrong. It is everything to me.”
The Earl’s words left her feeling unsteady as she watched him walk out of the schoolroom. He had gone from angry to contrite, then surprised and sincere. She had been surprised at how weak her knees felt when he towered over her, growling like an overprotective papa bear over his children.
The bolt of desire that flashed through her was quite a surprise. She could hardly look at him. It was all she could do to stop her hands from shaking. The scent of him had been overwhelming in that moment and it was only when he asked her for the truth that she was able to shake off her reaction. But that meant she was not prepared to prevaricate and had told him the truth when he asked why she was annoyed.
What kind of fool am I?
She absolutely did not blame him for getting angry at her presumption. It was absolutely none of her business how he chose to raise his children or live his life. She was nothing but a governess. It did not matter if she did not feel like just that. It was not his fault that she’d come to care for his family as if they might be her own.
She recognized that she had probably been starved of real affection for a long time. The easy acceptance of the twins as well as their father’s attention might have turned her head a little. The hunger for human connection had likely exacerbated her natural tendency to bond with the people in her life.
The result was this mess.
Unfortunately, she could not think herself out of her feelings. Aside from that, she felt strongly that she could be good for not only the twins, but Lady Nancy as well. It was a long time since she’d felt so needed.
It was heady stuff.
That did not even take into account her very complicated feelings for Lord Sulby. He blew hot and cold with her and from minute to minute, she hardly knew where she stood with him. What she did know was that her stomach swooped every time she was in his presence. She could feel the sweat forming on her palms and it was very difficult not to breathe as if she had been running very fast.
If this is love, I’m not sure I like it even a little bit.
Yet the memory of his lips on hers refused to leave. Her lips tingled simply at the sight of his. It was all she could do not to press them firmly against his, and force him to finish what they started.
She suspected that he probably deeply regretted kissing her. Why else would he have pushed her away? The notion hurt in a way that she could not express in words. It was a spear to her side. A blow to the back of her head. A persistent ache in her heart.
I don’t understand it.
She hardly knew him. There was nothing particularly special about him compared to other men. But his tall wiry build made her want to trace his physique with her hands, never stopping until she’d mapped every inch of him to her heart’s content. She wanted to run her fingers through his luxuriant chocolate locks; while his ice-blue eyes watched her with the same heat he’d favored her with as she came down the stairs in the lavender gown. His distinguished appearance only made her want to mess him up. To see him with all his walls down, his true self exposed to her and vulnerable.
“Miss Fletcher?” she almost jumped three feet in the air, not having heard the twins enter, “Can we begin?”
Emily took a deep breath. “Of course. Today we’re going to learn about Galileo Galilei who invented the telescope.”
There was an immediate uproar and Emily would have been forgiven for thinking there were about ten people in the room with all the noise the twins were making.
“Father has a telescope!”
“Yes, but we’re not allowed to touch it when he’s not there.”
“What does invented mean?”
“Will Father let us look at it if you teach us about it?”
“Who is Gali…Gali…”
Emily smiled at Lady Anne. “Galileo Galilei and yes, I have asked your father and he is agreeable to letting us use the telescope for a very special occasion.”
That caused another uproar and Emily had to work very hard to restore order. Lady Nancy did not come back to the schoolroom, nevertheless, Emily was very pleased with how it turned out.
The night of the eclipse, they gathered on the northern turret, sporting blankets and pillows as well as a picnic basket. Two footmen had carefully carried the telescope up to the balcony earlier that night and it stood proudly waiting. Miss Fletcher was clearly nervous, flitting about from person to person, making sure they were warm enough, a
nd ready to learn.
Duncan stood off to the side, just watching her. He had spent the last few days fighting with himself, trying to find reasons to forget this strange attraction between them. But then he would wake up in the morning and see her at breakfast, or pass her along the corridor and all his reasons would feel like so much ash, drifting away on the slightest breeze.
“Are we ready to learn tonight?” she clapped her hands, looking as excited as the twins.
“Yes!” they chorused, and even Nancy nodded her head.
“Good. Now can anyone tell me any myths or legends they might have heard about the lunar eclipse?”
To Duncan’s surprise, Nancy raised her hand. “Well, the ancient Egyptians believed that the eclipse happened because a sow temporarily swallowed the moon.”
Miss Fletcher veritably beamed. “That is true. Anyone else?”
The twins looked to be on tenterhooks, wanting to answer but not knowing any. Duncan lifted his hand. “I know one.”
All four of them regarded him with surprise.
“Oh…all right then, Lord Sulby, do share.” Miss Fletcher looked flustered but he had to applaud her quick recovery.
“Well, the Greeks, who were very learned, used the eclipse as proof that the earth was round.”
“Oh, indeed. But can we say that’s a myth…or a fact?” she grinned at him and he found himself smiling back.
“Both. After all, they had no proof other than that. It was just conjecture.”
“Indeed.” Even in the light of the lamp, he could see that she was blushing. It was difficult to tear his eyes away.
She inhaled sharply, turning to the twins, “Well, we should eat up so that we’re ready when it happens, shouldn’t we?”
“Yes!” they both yelled with excitement.
“Good, let us do it then.”
She laid the blanket on the ground and then put the picnic basket on it, Anne and Harry immediately settling on each side of her while Nancy sat across from her. Duncan moved closer, settling himself behind his son. Miss Fletcher glanced at him, “Do you need a chair? I can have a footman bring you one.”
He smiled indulgently at her, “I’m fine.”
She distributed the food, which smelled delicious and they all ate while Miss Fletcher regaled them with facts about the eclipse, astronomy, and telescopes. Duncan was pleasantly surprised at how knowledgeable she was. He’d rarely come across a governess who went above and beyond like this. The study of astronomy would likely have no direct benefit to his children’s lives, but he could see how much they were enjoying themselves.
Even Nancy had smiled once or twice.
A ball of gratitude suffused Duncan as he watched Miss Fletcher wax lyrical about constellations. He had thought that Jane had burned all the romance from his soul. But at the moment, he could visualize lying on the grass in the gardens, watching the night sky with Miss Fletcher. He would trace Orion’s belt for her, and tell her the story of the Hunter and the Bull.
Maybe he would turn to her and their eyes would meet. He would lean over, pressing his lips lightly to hers and wait to see how she responded. She might thread her fingers through his hair and pull him closer, opening her mouth wider to let him in, letting his teeth nip down softly on her lips. His lips would taste her mouth before he suckled smoothly on hers, before allowing their tongues to tussle gently.
It would be glorious.
“Father?” he startled realizing that it was not the first time Anne had called his name.
“Yes, darling?” he hoped the flush of his cheeks was not obvious, as he adjusted his suddenly tight breeches.
“I was asking if it would hurt our eyes to see the moon so close through the telescope.”
Duncan smiled. “Of course not, darling. I wouldn’t allow it if it did.”
“Oh,” Anne looked much happier and turned back to Miss Fletcher with a smile. He decided to put his lurid thoughts aside and focus on the here and now with his children and their delectable governess.
Chapter 16
Emily was having a little difficulty falling asleep. The twins had finally stopped whispering a while ago and the moon had set, but still, she lay wide awake, staring at the starry sky.
The evening had been dreamlike in its benignity. Lady Nancy had even laughed at one point, the Earl had been forthcoming and entertaining, distributing smiles like honey cakes. She had remembered so many little facts that kept them all entertained, with the Earl occasionally interjecting.
She had learned that he traveled a lot to exotic places and had seen much in his life. She ached to know more but knew it wasn’t her place. Still, the evening had been a resounding success, they’d watched the moon disappear and then reappear and had talked about all they knew and guessed.
Emily had felt like part of the family. She had been suffused with the warmth and amity of it and it choked her up a little to think how much she had missed that. On top of that, the Earl stayed close, his scent–a combination of sandalwood, leather and musk–intoxicating her with his nearness. She had wanted to lean into him and let his essence overwhelm her senses. Just drown in the sense of him.
She’d had to restrain herself from reaching out and touching him more than once. It might have been mortifying if someone noticed but she did not think anyone had.
It was difficult to come down from the excitement and so she lay still, sighing with happiness and closed her eyes, trying to summon sleep. It did not work.
“Can’t sleep?” the Earl’s low voice came from the other side of the balcony and she turned toward him. The shine of his eyes was clear in the moonlight and she sat up with a smile.
“No, I can’t.”
“Is your pallet too hard?” she could hear the smile in the Earl’s voice even as he sat up as well.
“No it’s all right. I think that…the magic of the night has yet to leave me. It’s hard to wind down.”
“That magic…quite a way to put it.”
She blinked slowly at him. “Didn’t you feel it?”
He nodded, leaning against the balustrade, “I did. Thank you for thinking of doing this.”
“It was my pleasure, My Lord.”
The Earl snorted. “It is the middle of the night and no one is awake but us, you should call me Duncan.”
“Oh, I could not,” Emily protested, feeling her cheeks burn, “it wouldn’t be right.”
“I promise I shan’t tell if you won’t.”
To Emily’s surprise, she giggled. “Yes well, I shall know.”
“Such a proper young lady, aren’t you?”
“I…” Emily hesitated, wondering if she was telling the truth, “like to follow the rules.”
“Do you now?”
She shrugged, “Most of the time.”
“Well…a good rule does come in handy now and then,” the Earl conceded.
“Now and then, yes.” Emily’s reply was facetious and she grinned at him conspiratorially.
Lady Nancy shifted in her sleep and Emily stiffened, waiting to see if she would wake. But the soft snores continued unabated. They had laid out their palates in a line on the balcony, the males on the far left and the females on the right. The twins lay under a pile of blankets as did Lady Nancy, but Emily had thrown most of hers off.
The nights were cool but not cold and the footmen had spread a netting above them like a tent, so that the insects could not get in. She knew that Phineas was sleeping in the adjoining room, in case anyone required his services during the night.
“You know; it is very unconventional for a family to camp out on a balcony like this. I feel sure a rule might have been broken somewhere. What say you to that?” the Earl’s voice broke her out of her reverie.
“I say that it might be unconventional for the gentry but among us common folk, it is quite normal for families to sleep altogether in one room.”
“Hmm, you have me there.” The Earl might have sounded impressed. Emily smiled.
“On a
more serious note,” he continued and Emily stiffened in response, “I truly do want to thank you for this. It was, as you said, a magical evening.”
“And I,” Emily replied somewhat to her surprise, “want to thank you for sharing your family with me if only for the evening.”
Even in the moonlight, she could see the frown on his face. “Do you not have a family then?” he asked softly.
Emily shrugged. “My Father is still living.”
A Wicked Earl she can't Resist: A Steamy Historical Regency Romance Novel Page 13