He smirked, shaking his head. “We weren’t. It would seem that as old as I am, I am not above acting impulsively.”
She nodded, very surprised that she could stand on her own two feet. Her knees felt weak and she was shivery.
“Come,” the Earl turned her and propelled her gently toward the verandah, “you should get back to bed.”
“Yes, perhaps I am still dreaming and will wake up in the morning with a clear conscience.”
He flicked her a sharp glance. “Do you regret what we did?”
Slowly, Emily shook her head. “But that’s the problem you see.”
The Earl gave a harsh laugh. “Strangely enough, I do see.”
Chapter 20
“Good morning,” Emily said as she entered the dining hall the next morning, filled with trepidation at having to see the Earl again.
“Miss Fletcher! We missed you yesterday,” Lord Essex squealed at once, his sister adding to the enthusiasm. She smiled, apologizing for her absence.
“I seem to have slept the day away yesterday. How lazy am I?” she could feel the Earl at the head of the table. She could feel his eyes upon her but she did not turn to look at him.
Not yet.
“Good morning, Lady Nancy,” she said and was unsurprised at the grunt that she received in reply.
“Nancy!” she almost jumped as the Earl snapped at his daughter. “Miss Fletcher extended her greetings to you.”
Emily opened her mouth to say that it was quite all right, but Lady Nancy was already murmuring a grudging greeting. She met the Earl’s eye and her mouth turned shyly up of its own volition. “Good morning, My Lord.”
“Good morning Miss Fletcher. Did you sleep well?”
“L-like a baby.” Her eyes fluttered as she tried to stop herself from blushing. The Earl’s eyes shone with appreciation and she did not know where to look. Thankfully, the twins were not content to be ignored and cut into the conversation at once with an extended report on how they both slept.
“And you Lady Nancy, how did you sleep?”
Emily didn’t know why she persisted. Lady Nancy clearly did not want to speak to her and yet she was continuously compelled to make the effort. With one wary glance at her father, Lady Nancy turned to her, dark eyes narrowed.
“Well, it was a noisy night but I did manage to sleep fitfully.”
Emily’s face colored as she prayed frantically that Lady Nancy was not saying that she’d seen them. That would be beyond mortifying if so. She cleared her throat and cast around for another subject.
“Harry, have you thanked Miss Fletcher for looking after you when you were ill?” the Earl asked his son.
Lord Essex immediately turned to her. “Thank you so much for staying with me. I wasn’t scared because I knew you would take care of me.”
His words almost brought tears to her eyes and she had to swallow the lump in her throat. “It was my pleasure.”
Lord Sulby was watching her with admiring eyes and she hardly knew where to look. She had babysat many children from Whitehaven in her life but none had made her feel like these children did. None of their parents’ gratitude had ever lit a warm fire in her belly. She did not understand.
Why them? Why this family?
She truly felt as if they were her own–even Lady Nancy with her persistent grumpiness had a special place in her heart. She finished her breakfast and got to her feet, clapping her hands.
“Now, boy and girls, it is time for class. I shall meet you in the school room in five-and-ten minutes. Do not be late.”
She walked out of the door with just a nod of acknowledgement for the earl. She could feel his eyes on her as she walked and found herself adding a certain extra sway to her hips.
Stop! What am I doing?
She bit her lip, quickening her pace so as to get away from him faster. She felt as if he was changing her from the inside, making her into a person she did not recognize. A bold sassy person who was not above tempting his baser instincts. Her mind inevitably went to their tryst the night before. How close they had come to scandal. Even now, she could not bring herself to regret it.
I might go through life and never feel that again. I am glad I had the chance to feel it now.
Nancy followed the governess to the school room, trying not to sigh too loudly. Anne and Harry skipped along behind her, speculating on what exciting project the governess might have for them today.
If she were severely pressed, she might be forced to admit that the governess might be good for the twins. Perhaps even better than separating them.
It took her a moment to shake herself out of her reverie and notice that Anne and Harry were walking on either side of her, looking up at her with suspicious eyes.
“What is it?”
“Just…we like this governess. Please don’t send her away.”
Nancy frowned. “What makes you think I would do that?”
“You didn’t like that she came. You wanted us to go away to school!” Harry pouted at her and she wondered if they’d been listening at keyholes again. They were remarkably adept at it.
“I only want what’s best for you,” he defended herself.
“Well…that’s Miss Fletcher, so don’t get her sent away.” Anne waggled her finger at Nancy as if she was her elder.
Nancy huffed, turning her nose up at her sister and brother. They were growing up fast but were still so naïve. They did not understand that they needed stability and the constant changing of a governess didn’t give them that. Boarding school might–that was why Nancy supported that plan of action.
“Nancy! Promise,” Anne persisted.
She sighed, shaking her head. “Fine. I won’t have her sent away. Satisfied?”
Her brother and sister just eyed her with suspicion. Thankfully they arrived at the door of the schoolroom and Miss Fletcher turned to them with a smile.
“Welcome to your first Shakespeare class. Today, we are going to practice a play! Are you excited?”
Of course, the twins were in transports of delight.
Duncan opened the note he had just received apparently from Miss Fletcher. He frowned, wondering why she would write to him when they were in the same house.
He opened it and his eyebrow rose in surprise. It was not a note, but an invitation written in a similar style to the playbills at Drury Lane. His children were holding a production of King Lear and he was cordially invited to attend.
He laughed softly, shaking his head and got to his feet. This was exactly why he loved the new governess.
His steps faltered as he realized what he’d just thought.
I love her?
He was already shaking his head even as he made his way to the school room. Of course he was drawn to her, that was no secret and her body made him ache in ways he had never experienced before. She made him smile. But that did not mean he loved her.
I simply hold her in high regard.
He knocked softly on the door and opened it, poking his head in. The children were busy apparently in rehearsals as Miss Fletcher directed them. She saw him lurking and waved at them to continue as she came toward him, eyes bright.
He could not help but smile.
“I received your note,” he said without preamble as she came out into the corridor.
“Yes, the children have been studying Shakespeare and we did a small re-enactment. They were so pleased with it that they would like to share it with the rest of the household.”
“Oh, so I am not the only one who has received this invite?” he held it up to her.
She shook her head. “Oh no, everyone is invited. We plan to hold it on the verandah in the moonlight, with the audience sitting in the garden.”
“It sounds…marvelous. May I invite guests or is it strictly for the household?”
Inexplicably, her face fell. “Of course, you’re free to invite whomever you wish.”
He peered at her curiously, wondering what he had said that had changed her moo
d so dramatically. Taking a deep breath, he smiled, “Wonderful,” he held up the invitation, “I shall see you all at seven sharp.”
Emily watched the Earl walk away her belly churning with acid. She had not expected much from him when it came to their…whatever it was they were doing. But she had also not expected him to flaunt his other conquests in front of her.
She wondered which lady of the ton would be the lucky one to be on his arm as his guest tonight. She did not know if she could take it. And for him to ask her permission was just cruel.
Is that what he meant when he talked about doing things the French way?
She did know that they were a lot more licentious over there.
Perhaps a man could have a wife and a mistress and they could all be friends. If Lord Sulby thought that she would be fine with such an arrangement, he was vastly mistaken. She would pack her things and leave rather than endure that.
“Miss Fletcher come on, we have to practice again.” Anne was peering out at her from the school room and she remembered why she could not just walk out. Her three charges were depending on her and she could not let them down. She would just have to deal with their father later.
“I really must be a good friend to you if I am answering summons to watch your children put on a play,” Holburn said as he settled himself into the armchair in Duncan’s study and accepted a glass of brandy from him.
Duncan laughed. “And I do appreciate it, Holburn old boy…” he hesitated studying his friend thoughtfully.
Holburn put down his glass, “But that is not the only reason you invited me.”
Duncan sighed, and shook his head. “I thought this might be a good opportunity for you to see the governess in her element and advise me on what I am to do with her.”
Holburn smirked. “Surely Sulby, were you not married? Are you telling me you do not know what to do with a woman?”
Duncan snorted. “I have a serious problem here, Holburn, would you try–for once–to act accordingly?”
The Marquess leaned back thoughtfully, “I think that if you are expending this much effort on the problem, you already know how to proceed, but you are afraid.”
“Of course I am! This could cause a fair bit of scandal.”
“Pshh!” Holburn waved his hand dismissively. “For a short time perhaps, until the next thing happens. One thing the ton is always good for is a new scandal.”
“I have my children to think of.”
Holburn got to his feet, draining the glass. “So many excuses, Sulby. Let us go so that I may see this paragon that has you so turned around.”
Duncan put his undrunk glass down and led the way to the gardens where someone had arranged two rows of chairs in a semi-circle in front of the verandah. Most of the household seemed to be present already and Mrs. Cooke came forward, bearing refreshments.
“Oh, quite an elaborate affaire your children are putting on here then,” Holburn said as he accepted a slice of pie before taking his seat.
“My children…or maybe it’s Miss Fletcher.”
“The gorgeous governess. I await her appearance with bated breath.”
Duncan turned in his seat to glare at Holburn. “I hope I do not have to remind you to treat her with respect.”
Holburn held on to his chest as if mortally wounded. “You insult me, good sir.”
Duncan snorted. “Shut up and watch the play.”
Each of the children was primed and ready. They each had more than one character to play in the production. Emily was standing in as King Lear, a role she had been conflicted about when she thought that Lord Sulby might bring as his guest, a lady of the ton. She did not want to be laughed at on top of the humiliation. However, peering down into the seated audience, she saw that Lord Sulby’s guest was a man.
A friend perhaps?
She laughed with relief, giving herself a moment to feel silly for her earlier assumptions. Of course Lord Sulby would not flaunt his relations with other women in front of her! He was a gentleman.
“Miss Fletcher, are you ready?” Lady Anne’s voice startled her from her reverie and she turned back to the chamber, straightening her sash and taking up the stick that would act as her scepter.
“Yes, I am ready and so is the audience. Let us go out there and give the performance of our lives. Are you ready?”
“Yes!” the twins shouted, grinning from ear to ear. Lady Nancy nodded.
“Good. Now follow me.” She marched out of the room and the others trooped after her. Her heart was beginning to pound for a different reason.
What will he think of me?
She wore one of Lady Nancy’s elaborate robes as well as a green sash, her hair tied in a tight knot at the back of her head and a tinsel crown fitted snugly upon it. She thought it looked either quite convincing or quite silly. Taking a deep breath, she walked on stage and the play began.
“She really is quite exquisite. I understand your fascination now,” Holburn whispered in his ear as his would-be thespians prepared for Act Two.
“Hush,” Duncan said. He did not want to miss a thing even as he felt his friend’s eyes upon him, probably seeing too much.
“You really are smitten, are you not?” Holburn sounded amused.
Duncan turned to glare at him. “I am not smitten.”
“Just very very taken with her?” Holburn quirked an eyebrow.
Duncan huffed in annoyance. “Perhaps.”
“Sulby, I’m going to get tooth-rotttingly sentimental for a moment so just bear with me. You’ve been…your light has been extinguished for a long time.” Holburn blinked at him significantly and Duncan took his meaning at once. “But since this woman came into your life, the light is back in your eyes. You’re no longer just an onlooker at life. Whatever is keeping you from her, get rid of it.” Holburn was suddenly very serious.
“Unfortunately, one cannot simply rid oneself of societal norms,” his voice was sardonic and dry.
Holburn snorted. “I beg to differ. I have flouted convention a time or ten. It is about deciding what consequences are acceptable.”
“My children’s lives? Their futures? Those are not things I would gamble with.”
Holburn waved a hand to the makeshift stage. “Look at your children. They adore her as well. I wager they too are happier with the governess around.”
Duncan could not deny the truth in those words. Holburn tapped his arm and lifted his eyebrows. “Eh? You know I am right.”
Duncan swallowed. “Perhaps.”
If Duncan was honest with himself, it was not the lives or futures of the children he was primarily worried about. It was his own life, and his own future. He did not think he could survive another Jane. He did not think he could bear to go through another relationship only to have it fail. The way that he felt for Miss Fletcher, it was almost guaranteed that she would break his heart.
The truth was that he was a raging coward, too scared to reach for something he wanted lest it burn him to cinders. The loss of Jane had been devastating. The trajectory of their relationship could only be labeled as tragic. Yet he suspected, no he knew, that his love for his first wife notwithstanding; he had never felt with her as if he was standing on the edge of a cliff and to fall meant to let go, to risk dashing himself against the rocks. Perhaps experience had taught him too well.
I simply cannot take the risk of falling for Miss Fletcher.
Chapter 21
Emily wandered into her room and flopped on the bed, exhausted after a full day of teaching. If she was being honest with herself, it was not so much the teaching that was exhausting as it was putting on a happy face.
She didn’t know what it was that she’d done to the Earl but he was actively avoiding her. Every time she tried to initiate a conversation even over something as innocuous as the children’s lessons, he found an excuse to hurry away.
She could not help but feel hurt that he was treating her in this way especially after everything they had shared. Her lips still
tingled when she thought of the kisses they’d exchanged in the garden. Her body went hot and cold just thinking of his hands on her.
The worst thing was that when she looked in his eyes, he seemed to reciprocate her warm feelings toward him. She truly did not understand then, why he was acting in this way. She just wanted them to go back to that short period between watching the eclipse and putting on King Lear, when the air had snapped and crackled with possibility.
A Wicked Earl she can't Resist: A Steamy Historical Regency Romance Novel Page 17