by Lacey Black
Warmth and familiarity wrap around me as he pulls me into his chest. The worn cotton of his shirt becomes soaked as it mops up the tears I shed. “I can’t believe this,” I whisper, inhaling the scent that is uniquely Jensen.
He exhales, the steady beat of his heart grounding me. “Clearly, there’s a bit of a miscommunication. I didn’t write letters to my dad and you didn’t tell me to leave you alone. Honestly, that makes me feel a little better. Not that I’m glad you disappeared on me, but at least I know it wasn’t because you didn’t love me anymore.”
“And I’m glad to know you weren’t using me until something better came long,” I confess, speaking my biggest fear aloud for the first time.
His whole body tenses. “I loved you more than life itself.”
Loved.
Past tense.
Even though our relationship has been over for many years, it still hurts a little to hear him confirm what we had ended.
We’re both quiet for several minutes, but he doesn’t let me go. He lets me cry until the tears subside, pulling as much comfort from his embrace as I want. When I pull away, I quickly wipe under my eyes, no doubt swiping away a day’s worth of mascara and snot from my skin. Jensen grabs me a paper towel, and hovers in front of me as I clean myself up from my cryfest.
“You really got our address from my dad?”
The right side corner of his lips turn upward. He shoves his hands in his pockets, but stays close as he replies, “I did. It was after you’d been gone a few days. I was going crazy trying to track you down. I knew your dad had the big office in New York City, so I found the phone number and called him. Took him two days to call me back, but when he did, he explained the move was best for you. I didn’t understand, and he didn’t seem too keen on explaining it to me. He wouldn’t give me your new number, just told me it was safer to give me your address.”
“Clearly, it wasn’t,” I retort, tossing the used paper towel into the exposed garbage.
“Clearly,” he agrees with a smile.
I’m lost in his sapphire eyes for several long seconds and I start to wonder what this all means for us. Can we go back to what we had before? Probably not. Can we move forward? God, I hope so. But I don’t know where he stands on an us, and the prospect of asking him is enough to cause a small panic attack.
“Don’t,” he says with force, taking my face in his hands and turning me until we’re looking at each other. “Don’t go there. We can’t go back, only forward,” he adds, putting into words the questions running through my head.
“Forward.”
He nods. “Forward. We’ll start with dinner Saturday night.”
“Dinner? With you?”
He grins that lopsided boyish grin I fell in love with all those years ago. “Yeah, with me. I mean, we’ve already had pizza together last week, and we are having dinner together tonight, so this won’t be anything we haven’t already done twice in the last seven days.” Before I can open my mouth, he keeps going. “The Falls Festival is this weekend, and I’d like to take you.”
The Falls Festival? As in the biggest town gathering in the county? Where everyone, and I do mean everyone, will see us?
“The festival is this weekend?” I ask, recalling how much I used to love going to the festival. The games, the rides, the food. My dad used to take me when I was a child, but when I was in high school, it was always Jensen who was by my side. The thought of going again—and with him, no less—has me all sorts of excited.
“It is, and we’re going. I’ll buy you a corndog and lemon shake-up,” he tells me, grinning like a loon.
“And an elephant ear. I need an elephant ear too, or no deal,” I tease.
“You drive a hard bargain, Butterfly, but I think I can swing an elephant ear for the lady too.” His hands run up my legs and rest on the outsides of my thighs. My skin tingles where his thumb draws little circles on my bare skin.
I’m about to accept his offer, when something else jumps to mind. “What about Max?”
“It’s his weekend with his mom. I have him most weekends, except for the last weekend of the month. We flip our schedule for that week.”
“So, it’ll just be the two of us?”
“Well, yeah, and about four thousand other Rockland Falls residents,” he quips with a chuckle.
“Yeah, and them too.” I reply, realizing I’m actually a little disappointed his son won’t be joining us. “I just meant if it means you had to find a sitter for Max, he can just go with us. I wouldn’t mind.”
The breathtaking smile he gives me causes little butterflies to take flight in my stomach. “I love you want to include him. If it were my weekend, we would definitely be taking him with us. He loves the festival. I’m actually a little sad he won’t be with us.”
“Maybe next year,” I say without giving it a thought. Then, I realize what I said and hope he doesn’t take it as an insinuation we’ll still be hanging out this time next year.
The timer on the oven sounds, alerting us that our dinner is ready. “Come on,” he says, helping me down from the counter. “Let’s eat.”
Chapter Eleven
Jensen
The Saturday morning sun is fierce, but the shade of the old oak trees along my mom’s driveway provides just enough cover to make the heat bearable. I’m on the small walk-behind mower, since Wes has the bigger one across town. We got it back earlier in the week from the repair shop, running better than it has since it was new.
When I’m finished mowing, I pull the hedge trimmers from the small trailer behind my truck and get to work making sure everything leading up to the business front looks immaculate. I fell in love with landscape maintenance and design by working this very property, and that love has definitely continued into my adulthood. This place is one of my favorites in the entire county, only second to the sprawling landscape and glorious blooms at the Elliott mansion.
As I’m raking up the trimmings from the yard, Mom comes out, carrying a glass of lemonade. “Hey, you,” she says, setting the glass down on the small table beside the swing.
“Hi, Mom. How’s your Saturday going?” I ask, piling up the scraps and leaning the rake against the porch.
“Good. Rhenn and Marissa took off in the boat for the weekend, so I’m manning the B&B,” she says, nodding toward the glass.
I take the steps up and have a seat beside her on the swing. The lemonade is refreshing and much appreciated on this warm August day. “Thanks for this,” I tell her before finishing the glass.
“Warm out here,” Mom acknowledges, gently rocking the swing back and forth. “Big plans for the rest of your Saturday?”
I use my longer legs to rock us, trying to decide how much to tell her. She’s always been a human lie detector, especially when we were younger. But there’s also the fact Mom quickly became the one I could talk to about anything. When my dad left to screw half the younger population of Rockland Falls, including my good buddy’s very married mom, any relationship we had was severed like the sharp cut of a knife. The easygoing, natural bond I had with Dad was replaced by one with Mom, the parent who was there in person day in and day out. Maybe that’s why I find myself finally spilling all of the details about the Elliott mansion and discovering Kate as the new owner.
She doesn’t say anything as I recall the panic attack or the late night phone call. She just listens, letting me spill my guts, and waiting. “We’re heading to the Falls Festival tonight. We’re going to be seen together.”
“Does that bother you?” she asks, finally speaking for the first time since I started my story.
“No.” I’m surprised by how true that is. I know everyone in town is going to be there, and there’s no doubt they’ll recognize Kathryn Elliott right away.
“Then what’s the problem?” she asks softly, sipping her own lemonade.
“It’s still comfortable with her. I’m surprised at how easy it is, like no time has passed.”
She nods slowly. “
Well, she was always very special to you.” Now, it’s my turn to nod. Mom doesn’t need me to confirm her statement. She already knows it’s the truth. “Well, I’m not going to tell you what to do or how to live your life, but I am going to tell you to be careful. You two have a lot of history, and there’s some pain behind it. Just take it slow.”
“I will, Mom. Besides, there were some things that happened back then that may have played a part in the hurt.” Then, I tell her about my returned letters and that she says she’d never seen them, let alone returned them. I explain how she was told I didn’t want her anymore and to stay away.
“I never trusted that her parents weren’t involved in more than they should have been. Her father always seemed to be a decent man, but her mother? Well, she was a bit more conniving and underhanded. It doesn’t surprise me if they somehow played a part in what happened back then.”
We spend the next ten minutes swinging, talking business, and even about my siblings. When it’s finally time for me to gather up my tools and pack up for the day, she pulls me into a hug. “Follow your heart, Jensen.”
The air thickens in my throat. “I will, Mom.”
She nods and turns to head back inside. “Oh, and bring my grandson over for dinner when you get him back. I’ve missed him.”
I offer her a smile. “You just saw him last week,” I remind.
She huffs out a breath. “That was last week. Now I want to see him this week. Bring him over,” she instructs, leaving no room for argument.
“I will,” I assure.
Before she slips through the door, she adds, “And go ahead and bring that pretty Kathryn too. I’ve missed that girl.”
She doesn’t wait for a reply, just disappears through the screen door. Kate and I spent so much of our time together I forgot how much it hurt my mom too when she disappeared. If I bring Kate around, I’m not only subjecting myself to more potential heartache, but my family too.
Especially Max, who already seems completely enthralled with her.
I guess I’m just going to have to take it slow and keep myself guarded. I’m pretty damn sure my heart wouldn’t survive being ripped out a second time.
* * *
“What first?”
“Do you have to ask?” Her eyes light up with excitement as she gazes across the town square and the midway games positioned in the streets. I know what she’s looking for, and there’s no missing the happiness that crosses her face the moment she spots it. “Oh my God, they still have it!”
I chuckle as we make our way through the masses of Rockland Falls residents. Many offer me greetings along the way, but I don’t stop. With a friendly grin and a hello, I follow behind Kate as she makes a beeline to the Ferris wheel. “I take it we’re riding that first,” I holler over the Skee-Ball noise and the carnival music.
Kate slows just long enough for me to buy two wristbands for unlimited rides. I’ve never been much of a ride person, but with Kate, I always found myself stepping out of my box. Frankly, I could never tell her no.
Apparently, that’s still true, if the way my stomach turns a little queasy is any indication.
We make it to the end of the line, which, fortunately, is only a few people long. I try to ignore the odd looks from those who pass us, no doubt, everyone recognizing the woman at my side. Even if she’s been gone more than a decade, Kathryn Elliott looks very much the same as she did all those years ago. If anything, she’s even more beautiful with her faint laugh lines outlining her eyes and her blonde hair turning a slightly darker shade.
“Everyone is staring at me,” she whispers, twisting her hands together at her waist.
“They’re staring at me,” I tell her, knowing we’re both right.
She glances around again before turning those hazel eyes on me. “I didn’t think about what everyone would be saying when they saw us out in public together.”
“Fuck ‘em,” I insist, hating she’s suddenly very conscious of the many eyes turned her way. The more she notices, the more agitated she becomes, and all I can think about is her having a panic attack in the middle of the festival. “Hey,” I say, taking her hand in mine to offer a little comfort. “They’re gonna talk just like always, okay? We’re just two people enjoying the evening together, going on rides and stuffing our faces with greasy food.”
That makes her smile a little. “But we’re two people who have a… past.”
I shrug. “True, but none of them matter, right? Whatever happens, wherever this thing between us goes, it’s not about them. It’s about us. Two friends, reconnecting after a long absence.”
Kate snorts in a very unladylike manner. I fucking love it. “Friends. I don’t think I’ve ever pictured my friends doing dirty things to me on the Ferris wheel,” she says before suddenly realizing it. Her face turns a very dark shade of red and her sexy little mouth falls open in shock. “Holy shit… I didn’t mean… What I meant to say was…”
I step forward, nice and close so I can smell her perfume, and reply, “That’s okay, Butterfly. The things I’d love to do to you on this Ferris wheel have been playing through my mind for the last several minutes. All of them dirty,” I confirm, remembering how I let my hand slip up her skirt and beneath her panties our final year of high school. She was so fucking wet already, I thought I was going to come in my shorts on contact.
Her blush only intensifies, making my cock hard. Before she can reply, the carnie clears his throat behind us. When I gaze his way, I realize we’re next in line and the car is waiting. “We’re up,” she whispers hoarsely, slowly turning and walking up the stairs.
“Oh, we’re definitely up,” I reply quietly enough so no one hears me. With a quick, as discretely as possible adjustment of my pants, I follow her into the waiting car and pull the safety bar down.
As soon as the car starts to move, my stomach drops to my shoes. Did I mention I’m not a fan of heights? Kate would remember this, of course, yet shows not a single ounce of remorse as she grins ear to ear and gazes out over the festival square in downtown Rockland Falls.
“I forgot how beautiful this place is,” she whispers, almost absently to herself.
“It is,” I confirm. It’s part of the reason I never envisioned myself leaving. Well, besides the fact my family is here. But even before Max came along, I never pictured heading off to make a home somewhere else. It was always Rockland Falls, with its quaint small shops and overly nosey neighbors. And when my son came along, I knew I’d be here for the rest of my life. “Did you ever miss it?” I ask as we start to round the top of the wheel.
“Every day,” she confirms, turning her eyes from everything below us to me. The moment they meet, the anxiety I feel about being fifty feet above the earth starts to slip away. “Not just because you were here, but because this place was my home. It was a hard transition from here to New York City. I didn’t handle it well.”
“The panic attacks?”
She nods. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Before I realize what I’m doing, my hand is holding hers, offering comfort and peace. We’re both silent as the wheel reaches the bottom and then continues back to the top. Her hand is still nestled in mine, between us on the seat, as we fall into a familiar and easy rhythm of companionship and friendship. It was always so damn easy between us.
As we reach the top for the third and final time, she speaks again. “There’s been a lot of changes since I left. All of those buildings have had a facelift.”
“That one there,” I say, pointing to the newest updates in downtown, “is my sister Harper’s shop.”
Kate’s eyes light up. “Oh? What kind of shop?”
“Lingerie,” I confirm.
I expect her to be embarrassed by this revelation (I was, admittedly, at first), but the look that crosses her face isn’t one of discomfort. No, this look is more of curiosity. “Really? I can’t wait to check it out,” she replies, and I can already tell she means it.
“The sho
p next door is her boyfriend’s.”
Kate glances that direction, but the angle is off since we’re already descending. “The hardware store?”
“Douglas Hardware. Bud retired last month and his son, Latham, took over. They actually purchased the space between them and are sharing it.”
“A hardware store and a lingerie shop? Together? There’s some Fifty Shades of Grey joke in there, right?”
I chuckle, because, yes, I’ve heard the jokes about rope and lubricants down the aisle from the crotchless panties. “There have definitely been a few dirty jokes made in recent weeks,” I verify as the carnie starts to let riders off. We’re stopped about halfway down when the atmosphere starts to thicken, and I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with the late August night air and everything to do with the fact I want to kiss this woman again more than I want my next breath.
“I’ll have to check it out.”
“Do that, and let me know if you need any assistance.” The implication of my words hangs heavy between us as the car makes a jolting stop at the base of the Ferris wheel.
The man at the helm of the ride doesn’t seem to notice the heavy sexual tension surrounding us, or he chooses to ignore it. The moment we step off the ride, he’s scanning the wristbands of the next group of ride-goers.
“So, what’s next? Corndogs? Lemon shake-ups? The Tilt-A-Whirl?”
Groaning, I respond, “I forgot how much you like to eat and then get the shit shaken out of you.”
She laughs, a breezy, earthy sound that fills my soul with wonder and excitement. “That actually sounds very gross. Let’s hope you didn’t mean that in the literal sense.”
“Uh, no, definitely not literally. I just forgot you enjoy spinning and flying through the air,” I reply.
“And you don’t like that,” she replies, matter-of-factly.
I’m stuck in her intoxicating gaze. “Hate it.”