by Sarah Noffke
“Yes, he’s the nicest.”
Bob eyes me. “Things not rosy between you two anymore?”
“Oh, how do you do that?” I say.
“This time I can’t take credit for any intuition,” Bob says. “Your face just went pale at the mention of his name.”
“Well, it’s because he broke my heart for breaking his and now he’s leaving,” I say, trying not to sound overly pathetic. “It’s for the best and I get that, but I just don’t want to deal with one more thing right now.”
The two exchange uncomfortable glances. “I’m sorry. I’m a little melodramatic at the moment,” I say with a sigh.
“No apologies necessary. I think we,” Bob says, motioning between him and Steve, “just feel a little helpless and that’s a difficult place to be when it involves you.”
“You didn’t by chance meet a smooth-talking guy with blond hair and green eyes while you were waiting?” I ask, steering the conversation in a more positive and less tear-provoking direction.
“We did not,” Bob says. “Are you referring to Joseph?”
“I am and I would be honored to introduce you to him.” Excitement coasts through me at the idea that I get to introduce my favorite people to each other. I pull them down the hallway, headed to the main hall. “Hey, you had to go through the GAD-C when you entered the Institute, right?”
“Yes,” Steve confirms.
“Which white coat was attending?” I ask.
“Hmmm.” Bob looks off, thinking. “I think his name was James.”
“Oh,” I say, a little deflated. “Yeah, James is cool.”
The main hall is mostly empty when we arrive. It’s still a bit early, but I know that before too long white coats and other Institute staff members will scamper between the various buffet tables filling their plates with roasted meats, steamed vegetables, and one of the potential starch offerings. I point to our usual table and the three of us take some seats.
It’s almost surreal to have Bob and Steve here with me and it makes me realize how quickly and slowly the last three months of my life have felt. Truly it has been the longest three months of my life, and that’s mostly because never before have I done, learned, or experienced so much in so little time. Now I know that this is the life of a Lucidite. When you have the option of spending your nights traveling the globe and history then it does seem as though a week is a month and a month is a year and I can only imagine how a year will feel like a decade. If I make it past Zhuang’s attack, then I have potentially centuries to spend evolving as a Lucidite, as a person.
“There’s something I want to tell you about Joseph before you meet him,” I whisper, although there are only a few people in the main hall.
Bob and Steve both incline their head in my direction. “You see, he’s keeping a secret and I wouldn’t usually tell anyone about it, but you guys are different. I actually think maybe you can offer some of your incredible advice on the subject. Joseph is––”
“Coming our way right now,” Bob says, pointing over my shoulder.
I turn my head to find my brother walking in with a crowd of about half a dozen other people. A sentimental smile I don’t usually grace him with breaks out on my face. Must be having Bob and Steve here that inspired it. He abandons his place in line as soon as he sees me.
“How’d you pick him out?” I turn and ask Bob.
An easy laugh tumbles out of his mouth. “How’d you not realize you two were related from the beginning? He looks just like you, except for the obvious differences.”
Joseph presses his hand on my unscathed shoulder.
“Hey, Joseph,” I say, looking up at his jubilant face. I sense he already knows who’s keeping my company at the moment, but I introduce them anyway.
“Pleased to meet you. I’ve heard all sorts of wonderful things about you two.” Joseph shakes both of their hands.
“The pleasure is all ours,” Steve says.
“So first things first,” Joseph says, his face turning grave. “Did Roya tell you she’s pregnant?”
My fist connects with Joseph’s arms before he finishes the sentence. He doubles over laughing, and to my relief Bob and Steve join in.
“Have I mentioned that my brother is a compulsive liar?” I say.
“Not compulsive,” Joseph corrects, with his finger held high in the air. “That would suggest that I can’t control it. However, I have the ability to control what comes out of my mouth and I just choose to say things that are considered slightly exaggerated.”
“Even that statement you’ve said is oozing with untruths,” I say.
“She’s acting out a bit because I told her that she wears too much gray. And by too much I mean she should erase it from her wardrobe because no one should ever wear it. I suspect that, like all drab things, my poor sister is married to this color. Poor thing.”
“They bought me all those clothes that you’re referring to, so watch out.”
“Right.” Joseph turns and looks at the two men seriously. “I wear a size medium and love the color red and I’m much more entertaining than my sister and also available for adoption.”
Bob slaps Steve’s arm as they both fall into another fit of laughter. “You two are truly bookends.” Bob waves at the two of us. “One amazing pair.”
“Astonishing,” Steve corrects.
“Right. Mr. and Ms. Astonishing,” Bob says, his voice brimming with merriment.
I give Joseph a quick look and avert my eyes. There’s something about him that I love so much and sometimes it fills me up and catches me off guard.
“So what brings you two here?” Joseph asks.
“We had a bit of business and also we were overdue to see Roya,” Steve explains.
“Are you two staying long?” Joseph asks.
“No,” Bob answers. “We have to get back in an hour or two.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.” Joseph has the most incredible ability for making whoever he’s speaking to feel like they’re the center of his attention. “Well, I’ll just do my best to fill you in on Roya’s quirky and unorthodox behavior. Maybe between the three of us we can have a positive influence.” He leans in close and whispers, “You know she reads Emily Dickinson’s poetry compulsively, although I’ve told her it will only lead to a life as an old maid with three thousand cats.”
To my shock the three shake their heads in unison. Steve clicks his tongue. “Yes, Dickinson is good in small amounts, but too much can be lethal.”
I slam my palm against my forehead, utterly flabbergasted by this scenario. “Oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“And there’s my sister’s obvious poor manners,” Joseph says, shaking his head with disappointment.
“I want to see if I can track down a few other people who I’d like to introduce you to, and aren’t quite as offensive as my dear brother,” I say, scanning the main hall.
“Your brother is quite delightful,” Bob says, his cheeks red from laughing. “But we’d love to meet anyone and everyone you’d like us to.”
“That sounds good.” I push up from the table. “I’ll be right back.” I turn to Joseph, giving him a stern smile. “Just keep your opinions to yourself, would you?”
“If you don’t mind I think I’ll go and get something to eat.” Joseph smirks. “I do have other activities to occupy my time rather than obsessing over what a ridiculous mess you are.”
The three of them snicker together. I wave them off as I stride down the hallway, bent on finding one person in particular who I want Bob and Steve to meet before they leave the Institute.
I have the elevator to myself for the trip to the fifth level. Excitedly I half skip to the Panther room, hoping to find Samara. Maybe I can even convince her to fetch Trent from Scape’s Escapes while I––
I never have a chance to finish the plan in my mind. The flash rockets across my attention, stealing it and laying undeniable claim. The vision buckles my knees under me, and due to the weakness
of my calf I lose control and fall to the ground, choking on breath and spit. After less than ten seconds I’m released back to my reality to do the only thing left: run.
My feet don’t stop racing until I round into his lab. I could have stopped at the Panther room, warned Shuman. Or Ren’s department. But I knew deep in my soul the one place I need to go next is one that will restore my hope.
“Aiden!” I scream, coming around the corner. He’s at his main work station and whips his head around to find me, his eyes already crazed with worry.
“What?!” He races for me.
I’m already expecting the tremor that throws him off balance as he closes the distance. It’s small, but enough to rattle the cabinets and their contents.
“Zhuang is here,” I say, and watch his eyes go wide.
Chapter Forty
Aiden stumbles from the jolt, but recovers quickly. “That’s the reason for the shock?”
I nod.
“Did you just see this in a vision?”
“Yes,” I say, wanting to reach out for his hand, which is shaking slightly as he pushes his glasses more firmly up on his nose. He bolts off to the nearest computer station. Hurriedly, he strikes the keyboard like it’s done something wrong and is deserving of the rough treatment. I turn to leave, not sure why I’m standing there staring at him when I have so much to do.
“Zhuang disabled the elevators when he entered the Institute,” Aiden says, to my retreating back.
I spin around, brow knitting together. “What?”
He nods, staring at the screen. Dissecting it. “It’s true. I won’t be able to get the system that manages them operating for over an hour,” Aiden says, like this is the most preposterous idea he’s had to digest in a while.
“But I have to––”
Aiden cuts in, still engrossed in the data running across his screen. “He’s knocked down our entire security system. Anyone can get into the Institute now.” I’ve never seen someone strike a keyboard so rapidly before. His eyes race over the screen as he does, a furious concentration in them.
“Trey was wrong and you were right,” I say, the realization crashing down on me. “About Zhuang getting in here.”
“I wish I hadn’t been,” he says.
I dare to walk up to where he’s standing and peer over his shoulder, like I have any idea what the information on the screens means.
“All right, I’ve shut down our GAD-Cs, so at least no one can enter that way,” he says.
“Aiden,” I say in a voice that’s startles me.
“Yes?” he says, still typing on his keyboard wildly, each stroke of his fingers deliberate and forceful.
“Zhuang makes it to the first level.”
He freezes. Turns. Looks at me. “Oh…”
“Isn’t there a way we can contain him on the third level before he moves?”
“There’s about a hundred ways but who knows which will work.”
“Bob and Steve are there. And Joseph. I have to get up there,” I say in a rush.
“They’ll know to leave. Don’t worry about them. Now you’ve got to get out of here.”
“Bullshit!” I refuse. “I’m not leaving.”
“Well, you’re not getting back up there. You have no choice but to dream travel at this point,” Aiden says.
“I’ll find another way.” I stare around his lab for some sort of clue to how I can get back to the first level.
Without looking away from the screen, and as if he’s computing a complex equation at the same time, he says, “You don’t have to do whatever you’re planning.”
“You know I do.” I chew on my lip, scanning everything I know about the Institute trying to find an option. “I have to get up there. You have to help me. This is something I need to do.”
He spins around, giving me an intense look. I want to avert my eyes from his sapphire ones, but I can’t turn away, especially if this is the last time I’ll see them. “Here’s the deal, Roya. I’ll tell you how to get up there because I’ll never stand in your way if you really want to do something. But I want you to treat me with that same respect.”
“Yes, fine. Of course,” I say, urging him to continue. “Just tell me how to get up there.”
“I know we don’t have time for this kind of thing, but there’s something I have to say. Please come here.” Aiden grabs my hand, wrenching me in close to him. “We may not survive tonight. I can’t die with regrets for what I haven’t been allowed to say or do.” He takes my head in his hands. “If we survive, I’m going to exclaim my relentless love for you to the Institute. And I don’t want you to even try and stop me.”
“But…” I dare to argue.
He almost laughs. “No arguments. If you want to know how to get to the first level then that’s your deal.”
Aiden leans down, his lips hovering an inch from mine. He pauses, capturing this moment. Relishing the seconds that precede this kiss. I’m the one who’s forbidden our closeness for over a month. Only in a dream did I allow my true desires to be experienced. But even in the dream, it wasn’t enough; it only teased me. “Yes, fine, I agree,” I say, starving to actually feel him. He lays his lips against mine, resurrecting a soul I’d questioned if I still had. Giving rise to a spirit I’d thought had deserted me. Finally he releases me at the same moment I release him. Breathless, I suck in the gasp spilling out his mouth.
“I really hope we don’t die tonight. I don’t want to wait another lifetime to love you. But if I must...I’ll wait a thousand,” he says. And again in his arms I’m reborn, by the kiss we share, the stolen moment we give to ourselves. Reluctantly he pulls away, a small smile on his lips. “I kiss, I tell. That’s the rule, right? If we survive this, you can’t stop me. Okay?”
“Okay,” I agree, pressing my mouth to his one last time.
“All right, I’ll keep my word. I’ll tell you how to get up there. You’re going to keep taking this corridor away from the elevators. When it T’s, take a left, a right, and another left. There will be an unmarked door. It’s the stairwell for the Institute. It will get you up there.”
“Thank you.” There’s a look in his eyes that gives me pause, keeping me from whipping around and running. I need to race to the first level. I need to escape his arms so we all escape what’s coming, but I’m afraid that it won’t matter and this is my last moment for happiness. So selfishly I soak in everything about us one last time. And then I make myself back away from him, knowing I need distance to say what I have to. “I need you to know that no matter what happens, that no matter what you hear about what happens up there, that––”
“Roya, what are you going to do?” he says, all his passion churning into worry.
“Aiden, if I don’t come back, if I can’t, wherever I end up, I need you to know if I ever had a choice, it was always you.”
“Roya, what are you going to do?” he says as I back away. Panic in his eyes.
“I’m going to sell my soul to the devil.”
“No,” he whispers urgently.
“I have to. It’s the only way, and it’s my choice.”
Hopeless grief hoods his eyes. And, heartbreakingly, Aiden is true to his word. He doesn’t try to stop me, just shakes his head.
“I love you,” I say, backing away. With urgency like I’ve never known I take in every ounce of him before I force myself to spin around and run.
Chapter Forty-One
Each stride takes me farther from Aiden and deeper into an unknown passageway. After fifty feet, it T’s. The size of the Institute has always astounded me but now it tightens my chest. How far will I have to run to get to the stairs? And then there will be the hike up all four stories. I know the climb won’t go unnoticed by my injuries, but I have no choice.
The siren assures me my new reality is no illusion. It pierces the air, which is more humid in this area of the Institute. Zhuang is here. A force so evil he’ll stop at nothing to obtain what he wants. And still, a parasite like him
can never be happy. Those who have replaced their heart with greed and allowed their pride to direct their mind will never be content.
The first time I met Zhuang it was as his challenger, a fate neither of us could escape. Now I know for both of us this is personal. When I challenged him he said he’d waited a long time for me to be born, that absorbing my consciousness was an ingredient he needed to gain powers. How is it I was born into these impossible roles? Zhuang wants my consciousness. Chase my blood. Was I only born to die, like livestock that fat Americans slaughter to feast upon?
Strange that so soon after feeling the life within me grow brighter from Aiden’s kiss, it has already dissipated, my heart a numb organ. Its purpose is now only for pumping blood to the rest of my body. And my body’s purpose is to take commands from my mind, the commander bent on ending a war which has gone on for too long.
The unmarked door is immediately after the second left. Without hesitating I barrel through it and come to a halt. Suddenly I’ve been tossed through the rabbit hole where everything I know is turned upside down. A stainless steel staircase stands before me. The cylinder walls are bathed in the shimmering blue carpet. A mahogany banister, as red as the rubies on my necklace that holds the frequency adjuster, follows the path of the stairs. The newel post, a large orb, is covered in a thick layer of dust. My hand grabs it to pull me up the first set of stairs and my fingers catch on an engraving. I pause and displace what feels like decades’ worth of dust. I choke out a cough as I read the inscription.
“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.
Guilt scratches at my insides for stopping to read this when time is crucial, but these words feel strangely important. The meaning can be considered literal when found here at the bottom of a spiral staircase, but for the mission that lurks ahead of me there’s something important to take away here.
In an effort to make up for my pause, I take the steps two at time. Often I catch my shoes on the nosing of the tread, but I maintain my balance by gliding my hand along the railing. Round and round I go, so fast, so many times my head begins to spin. My senses swimming in a cloud of dizziness is actually a welcome state. I know without too many stresses on my body, my mind will be centered on the battle being waged a few flights up. The battle I’m quickly closing in on, but might be over before I even arrive.