by J. Lynn
I stared at my mom, but I wasn’t surprised. Part of me wished I were and I wasn’t that hurt by her words. “You know, that’s the problem, Mom. You’ve only ever been concerned about how everything is so difficult for you.” I shook my head as I glanced at my Dad. “I’m doing better. In case you guys actually care. I’m doing good at school. I have friends and I’ve met a wonderful man who knows what happened to me. So those are the things that haven’t turned out bad. I hope one day I can say the same thing about us.”
My father pressed his lips to the back of his fingers, still staring out into the garden. I took one more look at them and turned to my mom. She met my stare with a steady one, but fine lines started to show at the corners of her lips. No matter how unaffected she looked, I knew I had nettled her.
“I didn’t come here to make you two feel bad,” I said, swallowing. “That isn’t what this is about. I needed to say something, finally. And I need you guys to know that I forgive you, but don’t ever expect that you can tell me what to do with my life ever again.”
She held my gaze a moment longer and then looked away, her jaw line tight. I gave them both a few seconds to say something, but silence crept between us. So be it.
I walked toward the door, my back straight and my head high. It wasn’t forced. It was real. Another weight lifted off my chest, leaving only one thing left to do. But that was tomorrow and today—today was a good day.
Smiling slightly, I walked through the formal sitting room. On my way out, I grabbed a throw pillow that probably cost a month of rent and tossed it onto the floor. Childish? Yes. Did it make me feel good? Oh yeah.
As I stepped out onto the porch, I saw that Cam was outside of the car, his baseball cap pulled low as he inspected the water fountain. My smile widened as I saw him run his hand through the water.
He turned and when he spotted me, he jogged around the car and met me halfway. “How’d it go?”
“Ah…” I stretched up, tilting my head to the side so that I could move in under his cap. I kissed him. “It went as expected.”
His hands immediately landed on my hips, a sure sign that the quick kiss had affected him, even standing in front of my parents’ house. “Want to tell me about it?”
“Over dinner?” I stepped back, and he caught my hand. “I’m going to take you to Chuy’s—”
“Avery?”
Cam stiffened, his grip on my hand tightening as I turned toward the sound of my dad’s voice. He was halfway across the porch, coming straight for us.
“If he says something ignorant, I cannot promise I will not lay him out right here, right now,” Cam warned in a low voice.
I squeezed his hand. “Hopefully that won’t become an issue.”
“Just saying,” he muttered.
We waited for my dad to reach us. He took in Cam and where our hands were joined.
“This is Cameron Hamilton,” I introduced, because it seemed rude not to. “Cam, this is my father.”
Cam extended his free hand, but his jaw was tight and his eyes were an icy blue. “Hi.”
My father shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Cam said nothing.
“What’s up, Dad?” I asked.
His eyes met mine for a second and then flickered away. Up close like this, in the harsh sunlight of the Texas sun, I saw how much my father had aged. In that moment, I realized that what had happened had taken its toll on him. He, unlike my mom, hadn’t covered it through numerous procedures and makeup.
My dad took a deep breath and then said, “You know what I’ve missed most of all? I miss watching you dance.”
Chapter 32
Over dinner, I filled Cam in on the conversation I had with my parents. I thought he might launch his steak knife into a wall when I told him about my mom’s attitude.
“Really,” I said. “I’m not surprised. She’s always been… cold and it just got worse over the years.”
Cam’s jaw flexed. “You’re nicer than me.”
I shrugged. He wouldn’t think that if he was party to my internal dialogue. “I’m glad I talked to them. And Dad? The whole dance thing was his way of showing some level of regret. At least he got what I was saying, you know?”
He nodded. “So how do you feel about it?”
Good question. I sat back. “I don’t really feel anything. I mean, like I said, I’m glad I did it, but I don’t know. It’s like having to go to the dentist. You don’t want to do, but you know you have to, and afterward, you’re just glad you did it.”
Reaching over the table, he spread his hand over mine. “You still want to see Molly tomorrow?”
“Yes.” I’d gone through my email after we’d booked our tickets and found one from her. Wasn’t hard. There had been many. I sent her a quick note explaining that I’d be in town and I wanted to see her. I’d been partly surprised when she responded within the hour saying yes. “I still want to see her.”
Cam looked away, jaw tight. He wasn’t big on the idea, but he was supporting me nonetheless. This was one of the moments that I realized how lucky I was to have run into him in the hallway outside of astronomy. I needed to realize that more often.
And I needed him, like needed him.
I didn’t want to talk about my parents or my impending visit with Molly any longer. I wanted to show Cam how much I did love him. Not because it was what I thought was expected of me, but because it was what I wanted.
“Ready to head back?” I asked, my heart rate picking up speed.
We paid the check and traveled the short distance back to the hotel. It was still early and being so close to Houston, there was a lot to show Cam, but I was feeling stingy with my time with him. I didn’t want to share.
Cam sat on the edge of the bed, his baseball cap slid backward as he thumbed through the buttons on the remote. Curtains were drawn on the large window across the room and only a bit of fading sunlight slipped in.
“I’m going to take a quick shower.” I gathered up my toiletries and started backing toward the bathroom.
He slid me a long look, opened his mouth, and then nodded. A certain light had filled his eyes, making me shiver with awareness. I smiled and then darted into the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I dumbed my bag on the sink counter. I hadn’t brought any clothes in with me and I wondered if Cam had noticed that.
And if he had, what was he thinking?
Was it the same thing I was?
I took a quick shower, getting the inevitable airplane funk off me. I took the time to clear my thoughts of the conversation with my parents. It didn’t take much. My pulse was already thrumming and my entire being was focused on him.
Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a thick towel around my chest and combed the tangles out of my hair. My stomach kept dipping like I was on a roller coaster. I brushed my teeth and then there was nothing left for me to procrastinate with.
Opening the door, I found Cam where I left him, except he was lying on his back, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed. The cap rested beside him and the remote lay on his flat stomach.
I stopped at the door.
Cam turned his head and immediately sat up. Locks of dark hair tumbled over his forehead, brushing his brows. Beneath the thick lashes, his eyes were a vibrant shade of blue.
Skin tingling with a thousand tiny pin pricks, I walked over to where he sat. He tipped his head back, his throat working as I stopped in front of him, my fingers curled around where the towel was knotted.
His lashes swept down and his lips parted. “Avery.”
Placing one hand on his shoulder, I climbed up onto the bed, my knees on either side of his thighs. His hands landed on my towel-covered hips. “Cam?”
His lips tipped up on the side and the dimple began to appear in his left cheek. “What are you up to?”
“Nothing,” I said, recognizing the breathlessness in my voice. “Everything.”
“Those are two opposite things.”
“I know
.” I lowered myself down onto his lap, shuddering when I felt his arousal through his jeans, pressing against my heat. “Kiss me?”
I didn’t wait for his answer. I bent my head down and brushed my lips over his once, twice, and then again, slipping the tip of my tongue over his lower lip and then inside. His grip on my hips tightened, but I was totally in control as I coaxed his mouth open, deepening the kiss. His lips moved against mine, following my lead. I was sure I would melt into him, into the bed.
“Touch me?” My lips brushed his. “Please.”
Cam obliged.
He slipped his hands under the hem of the towel. Both were on my thighs, sliding up and down slowly. Each pass brought his fingers closer to where I wanted him desperately. One stopped along the back of my thigh while the other came tantalizing close to my core.
“Now,” I said, lifting my head.
Cam chuckled as his fingers inched back up. His knuckles brushed my dampness and then retreated. A groan of frustration escaped me. “What do you want?” he asked, those lashes hiding his eyes.
“I want you to touch me.”
Another close call as his knuckles brushed me once more and then his hand slid back down my leg. “I am touching you, sweetheart.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t.”
“Please.” I dropped my head to his. “Please touch me, Cam.”
Cam tipped his head back again. Our noses brushed and then our lips. “Well, when you say it like, I think I get what you mean.”
“Finally,” I groaned.
He laughed again and then nipped at my chin as his hand drifted up the inside of my thigh. I jerked as he cupped me fully. “Like this?”
“Yes.”
His lips pressed down on the center of my throat as his finger slipped inside. “And this?”
My eyes closed as my back arched. “Uh-huh.”
Cam shifted his hand and his thumb pressed down on the nub of nerves. I gasped as he worked another finger inside me and his body tensed beneath mine. “What about this?”
I tipped my hips forward, moaning as my body heated. “Oh, yeah. Definitely that.”
“Definitely that,” he murmured, his fingers pumping.
Another moan escaped me, but I wanted more. I wanted to feel him inside me, needed him to be. A wild desire born from lust and something far, far stronger. Opening my eyes, mine locked with his. Slowly, I unraveled the knot on my towel and let is slip down my back, falling onto the floor.
Cam’s hand stilled and his breathing quickened. He reached up with his free hand, cupping my breast. “Fuck, Avery…”
I placed my hand over his, my heart pounding. “Don’t stop.”
His thumb moved over my hardened nipple and he growled, “I wasn’t planning on it.”
“Not what I meant,” I whispered. Reaching down with my other hand, I found the zipper on his jeans. “I want you, Cam.”
“You have me,” he groaned. “You so fucking have me.”
A delighted smile appeared as I wrapped my fingers around his wrist. With a level of control I didn’t realize I had, I pulled his hand out from between my thighs. “I really want you.” I flicked open the button on his jeans and pulled his zipper down. My fingers skimmed his hardness and he shuddered. “Don’t you want me?”
“More than you know,” he said, lashes lowering as I palmed the length of him. He groaned. “Avery…”
I let go of him, long enough to tug his shirt off and toss it aside. He was all golden skin and sleek muscles. “I want this, Cam.”
He grabbed my hips, his chest rising sharply. “Are you sure, Avery? Because if you’re not, we don’t have—”
Silencing him with a kiss, I slid my hands over his chest. “I’m sure.”
His hands flexed on my hips and then in one powerful movement, he had me on my back and he was above me, his eyes bright and intense. He swooped down, claiming my lips in a feverish kiss with so much power and passion. Then he stood, pinning me with a molten stare as he shucked off his jeans. My gaze traveled over his chest, the tattoo, the magnificent abs, and then lower. Cam was huge and an awfully naive part of me wondered how this was going to work.
Cam’s heated gaze drifted down my bare skin. My heart fluttered unsteadily, my stomach was full of anticipation. “I could stare at you for a lifetime. It would never grow old.”
“Even when I’m old?”
“Even then.”
Then he lowered himself, trailing his lips over my legs and stomach. He reached my breast, suckling and nipping until my breasts felt heavy and swollen. Cam took his time, slowly moving over me, licking every inch of my skin like he sought to memorize my body or claim it. I didn’t care. He could do it for eternity. Intense heat built in my stomach and spread lower, turning into a glorious ache. For the first time, I wasn’t afraid or unsure of the awakening desire. I wanted to explore it. I wanted Cam to explore it.
My body arched against his, aching and tense as he drew out every breath, every moan and whimper. Desire, rife and powerful, spread through me. I had never felt this way before.
Cam brought his lips back to mine, supporting himself with his arm, continuing to delve into my mouth while he gently worked one finger into me and then two. Soon he had me buckling under him. Then he lifted his head and there was something intoxicating in his gaze—wild. It mirrored what I felt inside me. He worked me to the edge and then slowly withdrew his fingers.
I whimpered, “Cam.”
He chuckled as he slid down my body and then his mouth was on me, his tongue moving until my head was thrashing and my hips rolling with abandoned. I felt all over the place, half crazed with need, and when he rolled his fingers over the bundle of nerves, I came, crying out his name.
Cam rose swiftly, his gaze fixed on mine as my body trembled. He nudged my thighs apart and there was a twinge of unease, of coldness and darkness, but I pushed it away. I was ready. His erection rested against me and then he slipped in, maybe an inch.
“I love you,” Cam said softly, one hand flat against my cheek. “I love you so very much.”
I wrapped an arm around his. “I love you.”
He kissed me deeply as he dropped a hand to my hip and then his hips thrust into mine. Sharp, stinging pain shot through me. Tears of surprise pricked my eyes and I froze at the incredible pressure of fullness.
“Are you okay?” he breathed, stilling.
I nodded and then said, “Yes.”
Cam’s eyes searched mine as his arm shook around mine. He remained still, buried deep inside me as he lowered his mouth to mine. He kissed me slowly, tenderly, and so deeply that I felt a different kind of tears rise to my eyes. My chest swelled with love and then, finally, the dull ache faded and the pressure inside me started to feel good. I tentatively raised my hips.
He groaned. “Av…”
I did it again, rocking against him. He cradled my hips, thrusting forward, wringing a cry of pleasure from me. I gripped his shoulders as I wrapped my legs around his waist, bringing him deeper. He moved over me, in me, the intensity increasing until it became a feverish pace. My head spun with the bliss building inside me. He moved faster and his touch was everywhere, his mouth on my breasts, piercing me. Hips grinding, Cam slipped a hand between us and it was too much. I threw my head back, shuddering around him. The moment was incredible. The spasms rocked my body in tight, sensual waves.
“Avery,” he grunted my name, burying his head in my shoulder. Two quick thrusts and he came as the last of the tremors rippled through me.
Our hearts pounded together, our skin slick with moisture. Minutes went by, maybe hours. I don’t know. When he pulled out slowly, carefully, he kissed me in a way I don’t think he ever had before.
“That was… there are no words.” He shook his head, eyes brilliant. “You okay?”
“Perfect,” I told him, spreading my hands over the sides of his face. “You were perfect.”
Cam dipped his mouth to mine. “Only
because I was with you.”
Chapter 33
Stepping into the shower the following morning, the hot water pelted deliciously sore muscles. I turned into the spray, letting it wash over my upturned face. Last night… all night…. A big smile pulled at my lips. It had been amazing. Not just the sex—and the sex had been awesomely wonderful—but everything that had come afterward. We were closer than we were before and it hadn’t been the act of sex bringing us together.
It had been the act of complete trust in each other.
Hearing the soft slid of the shower door, I opened my eyes and turned as Cam stepped in behind me. Completely naked. My gaze dipped. And hard.
My cheeks flushed as I folded shy arms across my breasts. Yeah, we were closer, but that didn’t mean standing in the bright light of the bathroom buck ass naked wasn’t intimidating.
“You’re beautiful.” Cam smirked a little as he eased my arms away. “And you want to hide yourself?”
“Not all of us are blessed with your confidence.”
“Uh-huh.” He ran his thumb over my pebbled nipple and then he kissed the corner of my lip as his hands slid up my arms. Water coursed down my back. “I got lonely out there. Thought I’d join you.”
“You were lonely?” I stepped closer to him.
“Yes.” Cam let his arms fall to my waist. He closed the rest of the distance between us. Our slick skin pressed together and parts of my body got all happy about that. “I ordered breakfast. We have about twenty minutes.”
“Twenty minutes to get fresh and clean?”
“We only need a couple of minutes for that.”
“And what about the rest of those minutes?”
Cam didn’t tell me how he wanted to spend those moments. He showed me… in great detail. Kissing me once before latching his mouth onto my breast. A ball of lava formed in my belly as he turned me sideways, the water spraying down on us. Dazed, my hand fluttered to the strands of wet hair. They sifted through my fingers like silk. He slipped his hand between my thighs as he dragged his mouth to mine. He knew exactly how to touch me, how to make come to the brink of control.
“Hold on,” he ordered.