by Keary Taylor
My eyes shift down the hall.
And there he is.
Walking toward me, beside Cyrillius.
My heart stops in my chest. My throat tightens and it’s impossible to breathe.
Valen Nero wears his uniform of black with Neron blue accents. He has his hood pulled up, casting him in darkness.
But he could never hide.
Not with his dominating height. Not with those broad shoulders.
Not with those piercing blue eyes.
I can’t think. Can’t breathe. I’m not even sure I’m alive right now.
He walks with confidence and direction.
Cyrillius walks beside him, nearly equal in height, his chin high, the arrogance and confidence rolling off of him in a physical way.
They’re a dominating pair. They look like they could conquer the galaxy together.
And they have.
For just a moment, Valen’s eyes meet mine, and I feel it again. That pit when he and I kissed. It’s there, wide and dark. I hear its call. It tells me to fall, to jump, to bury ourselves in its depth.
In my mind, I get this impression. Of hunger. Of desire. Of commitment. It’s an animalistic roar of possession.
I answer back, a snarl of claiming. Of promise. Of future.
And we both echo, later.
I feel his heart race.
I’m nearly consumed by my own.
And just as quickly as the moment came into being, it’s gone as Valen looks past me, and together, he and Cyrillius walk around me as if I don’t even exist.
I can’t help it, I turn and I watch him walk away.
Valen is not a good man. He has worked with Cyrillius nearly his entire life. He has ruined lives and killed on command. To him, this is just a return to work after an extended vacation.
I have no idea what he’s going to do now.
But I do know that he’s realized what has been done to him for solars.
I know the anger in his heart. I know the fire.
And I will burn this place down with him, however we can.
So with a smile, I turn, and I head back down the hall, aiming for my personal lab.
One of my favorite pieces of equipment in my new lab is a physical creator. I upload the design through my holotab, and it prints out whatever I designed. With metal. Any kind of metal I want. Aluminum. Steel. Titanium. A forge is attached to it and it can get hot enough to melt anything I could want.
I don’t have to create forms anymore. I don’t have to do casings and worry about burning my skin off pouring liquid, molten hot metals.
It saves mass amounts of time.
I smile as I watch my newest creation being instantly formed and shaped.
It’s actually not a weapon. It’s a shield of sorts. Or maybe more of a breastplate. But it’s not that simple.
I startle when the door opens, hard. My heartbeat is pounding in my ears and my hands suddenly feel cold as my blood spikes with adrenaline.
Which does and does not prepare me for when I turn to see Cyrillius and Valen walk into my lab.
My eyes immediately lock on Valen’s and my heart is beating so loudly in my ears I’m afraid I won’t be able to hear anything either of them says. My palms sweat, badly enough that I wipe them on my pants, the uniform of Dominion I now wear, because I’m lying about everything in my new life so I can’t act nervous.
“Nova, I would like to introduce you to Valen Nero,” Cyrillius says as he walks across the space and stops just a few feet away. “Valen, this is Nova Ainsley. She is our new experimental engineer. Her work with our company is invaluable.”
Valen’s expression is stone cold serious. Even I don’t believe that he knows me in the most intimate way as he extends his hand toward me.
I’m about to panic. Every time we’ve touched, we’ve had visions. I know I wouldn’t be able to hide it if I see something.
But as my eyes drop to his hand, I see that Valen’s hand is gloved, and he does not make a move to remove it.
So with confidence, I extend my own hand, clasp his, and shake it.
I don’t let the zing of a thrill that rips through me show.
But Valen holds the handshake longer than necessary, by just a second and a half.
“It’s…well, I can’t say it’s a pleasure to meet you, Valen,” I say, keeping up the ruse. “Considering what I know about you and everything you’ve done. But you certainly measure up to your own legend.”
“I would come up with a witty comeback,” Valen says, his voice cold and deep as he releases my hand. “But considering the last experimental engineer who used this lab only lasted a lunar, it hardly seems worth my time.”
His words work. All my insides turn cold and I know the expression on my face falters.
“Our last engineer didn’t possess half the skill Nova does,” Cyrillius says, moving on, putting calm and confidence into his voice. He steps forward, clasping his hands behind his back and observing my creation that is nearly done being printed. “I am very interested to hear about this project.”
Behind Cyrillius’ back, I dare meet Valen’s eyes. For just a moment, I let a tiny smile begin to form on my lips, and an even smaller one shows only in Valen’s eyes.
But we dare only let it last for two seconds. There are cameras everywhere.
So I turn around, and in very simple terms, begin explaining the capabilities of my new creation.
In my bedroom, alone that night, I wrestle with conflicting emotions. I pace in my bedroom, threatening to wear a hole in the carpet. I should be in sleeping clothes, settled in bed. But I can’t sit still.
“You awake?” the voice finally calls into my mind.
I jump. Even though I was anticipating his voice all night, really, all day, it still startles me, I’m so anxious.
“Not a chance in void I’d be able to sleep tonight,” I answer him back. I go to the desk in my room and pull a book across its surface toward me. I open to the middle of it and pretend to read. I’ve searched my room four times for cameras. I haven’t found any. But I can’t risk that they exist, because I’m sure they do.
“I need to see you,” he says, and I’m relieved that his voice sounds as desperate and anxious as I feel. “I need to talk to you.”
“Do you think that’s safe?” I ask. “You’ve only just gotten back. Aren’t you…I don’t know…catching up on missed work? Isn’t Cyrillius keeping you busy, under constant watch?”
There’s a pause and I can almost sense a smirk coming through our connection. “I may work for Cyrillius, but I am still the one who is the Nero. I keep my own work schedule.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, nervous. I’ve been walking on glass here for weeks now. I can hardly even imagine being reckless and talking freely now.
“Come to my office,” he says, and he sounds so sure, I tell myself to push away my fears. “It’s in the south wing. Down the first hall. Last door, straight on.”
“You’ll make sure no one notices me going?” I ask.
“I’ll make sure,” he says. And just the sound of his voice sends a wave of goosebumps washing across my skin.
I give a nod, even though he can’t see. “See you in a few minutes.”
We let the connection close.
I go into the bathroom and look myself over in the mirror.
I changed out of my Dominion uniform. I’m now wearing a very simple pair of black Tohiri leather pants and a top with no sleeves. It has a sweetheart neckline and buttons up the back, hugging my form.
None of these clothes are mine, but I would have picked any of them myself. Whoever their fashion designer is, I’d hire them myself if I was that kind of person.
My hair falls down my back in loose, natural waves. I touch up the cream beneath my eyes, covering up my tiredness. Even if my brain is wired, I’ve hardly slept in days.
I don’t know how I’m going to act when Valen and I are alone together. I don’t know what I should say. The future an
d the present are all tangled up. The reality is that we should be strangers. We’ve spent no more than a few hours physically together.
But we’ve spent nearly a solar in each other’s heads.
We’ve seen our futures. We’ve emotionally lived through solars, already been married, already been parents together.
I don’t know how to handle the right now, which in so many ways, feels like the past.
So I throw expectations out and head to the door.
Valen’s office is halfway across the Compound from where my room is. This late at night, there aren’t many people in the halls. A few soldiers go about their duties, but I’m a familiar enough face now, none of them pay me any mind. I could just be going to my lab, going to create something in the wake of late-night inspiration.
But as I get closer and closer, I notice fewer people. And as I turn down the hall Valen told me to use, I see four figures on the floor.
I panic at first, thinking they’re dead.
But as I look and get closer, I see that they’ve slid down the walls. They are slumped over, unharmed. Their chests rise and fall slowly.
They’re sleeping.
Valen did this once before, when he came aboard The Corsair. He made everyone fall asleep so they wouldn’t know our ships were docking together and I went aboard his ship for a good amount of time.
Undetected, I walk down the hall. I pass a dozen doors, each of them with a nameplate on the outside. They bear names like General Priuz, Major Kiius, Major Take. But there, at the end of the hall, straight on, there is a tall, black door. Inlaid into it is a border of solid Neron.
It looks like a portal. It’s intimidating and ominous.
I’m nervous. Anxious. But I’m also excited and I’m not afraid as I walk straight to the door.
Just as I get three steps from it, raising my hand to knock, it swings open, just wide enough for me to fit though.
Pound. Pound.
I swear my heart is going to beat straight out of my chest.
With a shallow breath, I step inside through the door.
Valen is there, standing just behind the door. As soon as I am through it, he closes it tightly. His hand still lingers on the doorknob, but I don’t think he realizes it’s still there.
My eyes lock on his and the breath catches in my throat.
His Neron blue eyes lock on me, and I fall.
I fall so deep.
Through the future.
I’m there again. In all of it. On Kaelea, living in our beautiful little home. I’m walking down that aisle in a red dress. I’m marrying him. I’m holding our son for the first time, Valen’s arms wrapped around the both of us. I’m home, happy.
I’m with him.
Every bit of our future rushes through me.
And I can’t control myself, any more than I can control my visions of the future.
I take that step forward, closing the distance between us. One hand goes to his hair, my fingers tangling in it as I cup the back of his head, the other hand goes to his chest.
Valen’s hands move at the same time mine do. They wrap around me, pulling me in close.
And our mouths find each other. They know exactly how this works.
His lips shape to mine and we’re both greedy and desperate. We’ve both been starving for four lunars and it’s been longer than either of us can stand for a second longer.
My lips move with Valen’s. He twists, turning the both of us. My back hits that black door and he throws one hand out against it, bracing the two of us, even as his other hand circles tighter around my waist.
Both my hands come up behind his neck and every inch of space between our bodies disappears as we align.
A moan escapes my mouth into Valen’s as I tilt my head back, making up for our height difference. His lips part when mine do and my tongue isn’t shy.
Forever. I could do this forever.
It boggles my mind that we’ve only done this once before, that this is only our second kiss. We do it so well and so expertly, as if we’ve been doing this our entire lives. Our bodies hum with familiar electricity, and I anticipate his touch as his hands slide down to my hips.
My own hands slide down to his neck, holding him close, as I breathe him in, deepening our descent from two beings into one.
A sensation takes my stomach over, like I just slipped on a wet floor and know I’m going to hit the floor in a fraction of a second.
Instead, I blink and I find myself meeting Valen’s eyes for just a moment. He gives me this look of confidence and support. So, holding his hand, I open a door and step inside.
There, I find a large table and a room full of people sitting around it, others standing along the walls. They all look at the two of us in anticipation.
“Things have to change,” I say as Valen and I go to stand at the head of the table. “Dominion isn’t what we thought it was. I’m tired of being a pawn. And with your help, we’re going to change things.”
I feel Valen give my hand a supportive squeeze.
With that squeeze, my eyes slide open, and I find myself lip to lip with Valen, whose eyes slide open just a second after mine.
We both step away from each other, startling back.
“What did you just see?” the words slip out of my mouth, even as my hand raises up, touching my wet and swollen lips.
“Us,” he says, his eyes slightly wide. “Plotting a war to take down Dominion. I think…I think it was the Bahiri we were with.”
I’m breathing hard, struggling to sort myself out. I nod, but then shake my head. “I saw us too, plotting a war. But we were with people from here. Employees. Commander 12-3 was there, and some others I recognize. We said we were going to change things.”
My heart is beating very, very fast. I bury my hands into my hair as I cross the room, going to stand in the center of it. “This…that was different from all my other visions, Valen. That was…”
I hesitate, meeting Valen’s eyes. My stomach turns cold.
I’ve never told Valen what I’ve seen in my visions. Because I didn’t want to give him hope. I didn’t want him to know how close I’ve been to saying screw everything I’ve ever cared about, and join Dominion for real, because it would mean I could be with him.
“The future is changing,” I breathe instead. “That…everything has shifted. The timeline. What you and I were working toward.”
Valen takes a step forward, but no closer, and nods. “For me, too. It was…similar in some ways. But our actions, the intentions I had…”
I nod, feeling exactly the same. And a smile begins to form on my face.
For the first time in what feels like forever, I feel something new beginning to blossom in my chest.
Hope.
I take a step forward and then another. I reach for Valen’s hand, taking it in both of mine. I raise it and cradle it to my chest as I look up into his blue eyes.
“We’re doing it, Valen,” I say in a quiet voice that is very nearly a whisper. “We’re doing it already. We’re changing the future.”
I’ve seen Valen’s eyes harden at the prospect before. I’ve seen darkness and despair take him over. But not now. He still looks nervous and uncertain. But he doesn’t completely block out the possibility.
And that tells me what kind of vision he saw.
Because if he saw it, he felt every bit of it.
He raises his other hand and brushes his knuckles across my cheek as he stares into my eyes. Gently, he rests his hand on the side of my neck as he tips his head down, and very gently, sweetly, calmly, he kisses my lips.
My eyes slide closed, and I feel all of my emotions deepen. I feel that future. It’s so close. It’s so real. It’s so possible.
“How have you not been here all along?” he says quietly. His forehead touches mine. “I almost can’t remember a life where you weren’t there. Where you weren’t by my side. Where we weren’t in this together, every second of every day.”
I
open my eyes and find Valen’s brilliant ones. I reach up, placing my hand on his cheek. “I feel insane,” I say, shaking my head just a little. “I feel as if we’ve skipped all the important parts. Like we jumped an entire timeline. This is only the third time we’ve been together, Valen. How…” I shake my head again. “How can this be real? How can we know…how can we know that this is what we want? That this is what is worth fighting for, when the sum total of our time together is, what? Less than three hours?”
Even as I say the words, I feel completely crazy. It’s just not possible to feel the way we feel, when that is all it has been.
And yet…
And yet we’ve already seen our entire lives together.
We’ve lived through it.
We’ve felt it.
It’s just one of the miraculous things about being a Nero.
But it still doesn’t make it feel real.
Valen straightens, but he takes both my hands in his. He looks to the side, as if he’s searching the air for answers. After a few moments of reflection, his eyes slide back to mine.
“You’re right,” he says. “The future isn’t real, and as we’ve both just seen, it’s subject to change, possibly in drastic ways. But I’ve spent lunars in your head, Nova. You’ve seen the darkest parts of who I am. Those things are real.” He shakes his head and shrugs. “Throwing out everything I’ve seen of the future, all those other parts are enough for me. I can’t go back, Nova.”
Emotions bite at the back of my eyes, but I keep them in check. I don’t let them well. Instead, I press my lips into a thin smile, holding it all inside. I stretch up on my toes, and softly press my lips to his.
“Then we need to make a plan,” I say.
He lets go of one of my hands, but keeps the other, and walks across the office, toward the window at the back.
But I realize it’s not actually a window. Not when it’s showing space, stars and moons off in the far, far distance. It’s a screen.
Valen’s office is quite simple. The walls are black, the ceiling and floor are black. Toward the back there is a massive desk with a chair—both black. To one side there is a huge conference table, black as well.
And there is this huge screen against the back wall.