by Rona Jameson
Sitting next to Rogan at the kitchen table, my heart pounded heavily in my chest. I was supposed to be listening to our parents, but nothing was going in with all the blood rushing around in my head. I wanted to cry for everything going on in my life. Because no matter how much I craved Rogan, I knew deep down I’d never be able to say he was mine. We could never be more.
Glancing at him, I noticed his eyes on me, which made me nervous, and I blinked trying to rid my mind of his attention. My hands began to tremble while I wondered if he knew where my mind was. I wiped a sweaty palm on the leg of my shorts and made sure my arms covered my breasts. I should have put a bra on before coming downstairs, but I hadn’t thought that far ahead.
Rogan noticed what I was doing and with a slight grin, he stood and reached for his sweatshirt hanging up beside the kitchen door. He passed it to me and I quickly shoved it over my head and tugged it down, covering my body.
I briefly met his gaze before he looked away and got a glazed look in his eyes. I kicked him under the table and smirked when he jerked his gaze back to mine.
His eyes snapped to our parents and Uncle Frank before returning to me.
He grinned, and asked, “What’d I miss?”
I rolled my eyes and gave him an angry scowl. “Stop daydreaming! Mom and Dad want us to share a room, remember? I’ve told them it’s unfair considering our ages to expect that.” I then hissed, “Do something.”
“Um,” he mumbled and got another glare from me. “She’s right for once. You can’t honestly expect us to share a room now.” He pointedly stared at Dad. “And have you forgotten the talk?”
“What talk?” Uncle Frank asked.
Dad held Rogan’s gaze and then sighed, ignoring Uncle Frank. “I haven’t forgotten, Rogan, and I also think I may have overreacted.” He looked between Rogan and me. “I trust you, okay? It isn’t going to be for long. Just until Uncle Frank finds somewhere else.”
“He has nowhere else to go,” Mom added, very nearly whining.
“What about Leticia’s place?” I asked, remembering his recently married daughter.
“They’re newly married and don’t want their father ruining it for them,” Uncle Frank said. “I’m not sure I want to be there either.” He glanced at us. “I’m really sorry about this, and I promise it won’t be for long.”
Part of me filled with a sense of dread, but another part felt elated that I was going to be able to spend more time with Rogan instead of him shutting himself up in his room all the time. Like I did, I guessed. I was just sick, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from wanting to be closer to him.
“The way I’m looking at it”—I grabbed hold of Rogan’s hand—“is that this is happening whether we want it to or not. The decision has already been made and Mom and Dad are telling us this is happening.” I turned to look across the table. “Want to tell me I’m wrong?”
Dad ran his hands through his hair and slowly shook his head. “You’re not wrong. I’m sorry…we’re sorry. I can’t let my brother go homeless when, with a bit of shuffling around, we have a room for him.”
The tears fell down my cheeks while I watched Rogan, who looked like he’d been punched in the stomach. I silently promised him I wouldn’t spend our nights teasing him, like he did earlier with me. I was upset enough without adding anything more.
“When?” Rogan asked.
Dad didn’t pretend to misunderstand him, and replied, “Now,” with a wince.
I gasped and quickly left the room, my feet pounding up the stairs.
Rogan followed me upstairs and stood in the doorway of my bedroom as he watched me gaze out the window.
“We’re too old to share a room,” I whispered, my voice laced with tears. “You know I want to more than anything, but this situation is wrong. I can’t believe they’d even suggest it after what’s been said in the past.”
His feet carried him to where I was standing and he rested his hands on my shoulders. “We don’t have a choice.” He squeezed my shoulders and added, “I’m going to go and start moving my stuff. I don’t want Uncle Frank messing with it.”
I slowly inhaled and turned, blowing out a loud breath. “Let me make some room in a drawer and the closet for you and then I’ll help.”
“I thought you’d make me sleep in the bathtub.” He joked, and my eyes widened in surprise.
“Where are you going to sleep? That pullout is lumpy.”
“We’ll work it out later…we’ve got this, Fallon. I promise.” He gave me a one armed hug and then left the room.
“I hope so,” I whispered after him, staring at the closet.
Sighing, I opened the door and shoved my clothes over, and then on the shelving unit, I tossed my things onto the top two shelves, leaving the bottom two for Rogan.
I still had no idea what Mom and Dad were thinking having us share a room. It wasn’t right, and they were aware of that. Mom even whispered to keep our sharing to ourselves for the time being. We didn’t have a problem with that, but how were we going to prevent our friends from finding out? Leon lived next door and never knocked, he just walked into our house, like we did at his. Julia was always around too. She walked in and straight up to my room.
Our parents hadn’t thought it out at all. Tears filled my eyes at the problem that had been created because of their decision. As much as I wanted to be with Rogan, this wasn’t the way I’d wanted it. I doubted it was the way he wanted it either. We’d pushed the boundary between our sibling relationship on more than one occasion, and now I was afraid of what was going to happen between us. We were going to be alone in the dark together, and I knew Rogan was dreading that as much as I was.
“We’ll manage,” Rogan whispered, watching me from the doorway. He offered a wry smile and tossed his clothes onto the bed before standing in front of me. “We’re not like most siblings, Fallon.” He swallowed hard. “But we can do this.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
“You really believe that?” I asked, close to tears.
“If we both accept that nothing can ever happen between us in the, um, romantic way, then we can do anything.”
My words lodged in the back of my throat so I nodded, and as I searched Rogan’s gaze, I realized he was struggling with the situation just as much as I was.
“We can do this.”
As he spoke those words, I wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure himself or me; maybe he was trying to reassure us both.
17
Fallon
Slamming my locker closed, I jumped to find Julia had been standing behind it. The look on her face wasn’t one I’d wanted to see and I knew what was coming, so I quickly admitted, “Uncle Frank is staying at our house, and Mom and Dad thought it best if our friends don’t come around while he’s there.”
Julia let out a sigh of relief. “I thought you were avoiding me.”
My heart thumped in my chest and I felt a flush working its way up from my neck at the partial lie I’d just told. Mom and Dad had agreed to go along with the excuse. Uncle Frank had a big mouth and found our predicament amusing, until Dad had told him to shut up or find somewhere else to crash.
Last night had been awkward, but we’d managed it, even though I didn’t think either of us had gotten any sleep. Rogan looked sexy and rumpled, and I wished he’d had time to straighten himself up a bit because all the girls were giving him the eyes while sticking their chests out.
“You know,” Julia drawled, “if you stare hard enough you’ll set them all on fire.”
I blinked and faced my friend. “What are you talking about?”
Rolling her eyes, Julia laughed. “Your brother is the sexiest man alive and looks like he just rolled out of bed, which is why he has so many eyes on him, and you are looking like you want to burn them all at the stake.”
“I don’t—” Snapping my mouth closed, I glared at Amber, who was currently running her fingers over Rogan’s shoulders. “I’m going to kill her.”
“Hmm…” Julia n
arrowed her eyes. “I think you need to come with me.” She slid her arm through one of mine and pulled me along.
“Where are we going?” I hissed, and caught a frown on Rogan’s face as he watched me before Julia tugged me out of sight.
“We have five minutes before we have to be anywhere.”
“You need to slow down,” I panted. “I’m not supposed to move so quickly.”
“Shit. Sorry. I forgot with holy hotness in there.” She indicated the school behind us with a tilt of her head. “Look”—Julia tugged me to a stop—“I know Rogan and you are really close, especially since your accident.” She chewed her lip then continued, “People are not going to be nice if you get all up in their face because they drool over your brother.”
I ignored the way she said “brother” and swallowed back my guilt. “I can’t explain it, but I hate sharing him.” Which was the truth. “I know a lot of siblings at school don’t get along, but Rogan and I do. I have no wish to change that for anyone.”
“Then don’t make it so obvious.” Julia huffed. “If you weren’t siblings, I’d think there was a lot more going on than what there is.”
Luckily, the bell rang for the start of the school day, so Julia didn’t notice my momentary panic at her observation. But as I dragged my feet back to class, I didn’t know what I was panicking over, because nothing had happened.
Rogan had spent the night on the lumpy pullout while I’d slept in my bed—nothing wrong with that. We’d fallen asleep on my bed before now while watching a movie, so it was all innocent.
Keep telling yourself that.
“I don’t feel well,” I mumbled, and the truth was, I really didn’t.
I wondered who else had noticed my jealousy where Rogan was concerned. And who else had noticed it wasn’t as innocent as it should be. Julia hadn’t said anything, but if I didn’t get my feelings under control, Julia would.
Julia knew me and had always been around, even when Rogan and I were younger. We would defend each other against other kids. Now that we were older, I knew it wasn’t right, but Rogan was mine to defend, and I was his.
“You look pale,” Julia commented, finally glancing over her shoulder at me. Julia slowed and rested her hand against my forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”
“I just feel off. Dizzy.” I offered Julia a small smile. “I’ll be fine. Let’s just get to class before we get in trouble.”
Julia shrugged. “You know I’m only looking out for you, right?” She slid her arm through mine, her favorite thing when she was talking to me.
“I know and I guess it does look weird. I can’t help it. He’s always there for me, and we spend our free time together around the house. I can’t just switch off from that when we’re at school. It isn’t that easy.”
“I get that, but I think you need to try, because today, you looked like you wanted Amber to burn.” Julia opened the door into the school building. “What it looked like, to anyone who doesn’t know you and Rogan, is that you’re a jealous girlfriend.”
I made a gargling sound at the back of my throat and felt all color leaching from my face.
“Fallon?” Julia questioned. “Fallon!” Julia grabbed at my arms as I dropped like a brick to the hard floor.
My head hurt like a bitch as Rogan’s voice filtered into my mind. He was arguing with someone and I heard my name, but nothing else made any sense. All the words were jumbled.
Blinking my eyes open, a fierce pain ripped through my skull so I quickly snapped them shut again and groaned. “My head,” I gasped, reaching to press against my temples.
“Fallon, thank God,” Rogan whispered right next to my ear. “The paramedics are on the way up, but I’m not going to leave you, okay?”
I grabbed blindly for him and relaxed slightly when he clasped my hand with his. “I’m not leaving you alone, Fallon,” he stated.
“What happened?” I mumbled.
“You collapsed on top of Julia.” I caught amusement in his voice before he said, “You just went and Julia wasn’t strong enough to stop you from clonking your head on the floor.”
“Is she okay?”
“Worried about you, but yeah, she is.”
“All right, back to class,” Principal Tanner muttered. “You as well, Rogan. Your sister is in capable hands now that the paramedics have arrived.”
“Hell no!” Rogan shouted and then lowered his voice. “I’m not leaving her. Where she goes, I go.”
There was silence until the paramedics entered the room and then I heard Rogan telling them what happened, and about what had happened to me over four months ago, while they examined me and put a collar around my neck.
The moment the collar snapped into place, panic set in. I hated being restricted and that was how I felt right at that moment. My breathing turned heavy and my body became warm and hot, too hot.
Then I felt Rogan stroking my face. “Fallon,” he whispered. “Breathe for me. I’m not going to leave you. I promise.” I felt him brush a kiss to my forehead.
“Is there anything else we need to know?”
I slightly peeled my lids open and caught the tail end of what the paramedic was asking, but my half-gaze was fixed on Rogan.
He smiled and although he was holding my gaze, he answered, “I told you she was in a serious car accident.” He swallowed hard. “She was stuck inside. The collar you just put on her is causing her to panic.”
“Ah, I understand now.” A paramedic moved into my line of sight. “Hopefully it won’t be on for long, but we do need to strap you down to transport you to the hospital. We need to make sure nothing else happens to you.”
“I’ve got this.” Without thinking, Rogan picked me up into his arms. “Lead the way.”
“You shouldn’t be doing that?”
“It’s the only way to do it and keep her calm.” He held me closer and whispered, “I’ve got you.”
My eyes drifted closed as I settled with my face hidden in Rogan’s neck. His scent calmed me and I drifted off to sleep knowing I was safe.
“Why does my head hurt?”
I reached up and touched my forehead before I peeled my lids open. The light coming in through the window was bright so I turned my face away. That was when I noticed Rogan spread out on one of the chairs in the room. A frown appeared on my face when everything came rushing back to me.
“I passed out at school?”
“Yeah. You did. Scared the crap out of me when Julia burst into my class announcing the fact.”
I groaned. “What did she say?”
“She looked directly at me and shouted over the class that you’d collapsed and weren’t waking up.” Rogan closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. “My heart dropped to my feet.” He sighed. “Luckily, you have a hard head and everything is fine in there.”
“I hope the headache goes away.”
“It will. They’re keeping you tonight for observation, but you should be good to go home tomorrow.”
“Can’t I go home today?”
He shook his head. “You had a nasty bang to the head.” He leaned forward and took hold of my hand. “I know you don’t like hospitals, but please, don’t argue about this. They just want to make sure you’re in the right place if you have any other problems. I’ll worry less.”
I opened my mouth to reply before thinking better of it. “You’re right, I guess,” I admitted grudgingly.
Rogan laughed. “You really need to stop because these hospital chairs are playing hell with my back.”
Wincing as I turned onto my side, I smiled. “You’re staying with me again, huh?”
“Try and stop me.” His eyes held mine. He’d stay for as long as I was in the hospital. I would do the same if our positions were reversed.
“Try and stop you from doing what?” On entering the room, Dad glanced between us and then Mom appeared behind him.
“Oh, honey,” Mom whispered, bending closer and kissing me on the cheek. “Are you really okay?�
�� She brushed hair from my sweaty forehead before she moved and held my hand.
“Rogan says I have to stay the night, so he’s going to stay with me. It’s just a precaution.”
“I want to talk to your doctor,” Dad said, running a hand through his hair.
“He had an emergency.” Rogan informed him. “He said he’ll come back and check on Fallon as soon as he can, but to call for a nurse if she needs anything before that.”
“Hmm, what happened? You seemed fine this morning?” Mom asked, taking the seat Dad shoved behind her.
I was hardly going to admit that it was my conversation with Julia. No way.
“I didn’t eat breakfast.” I shrugged. “And yes,” I added, knowing how Mom would fuss, “I promise to eat breakfast from now on.”
“Yes, you will,” Rogan stated.
Dad frowned as he watched Rogan watching me.
“Well!” Mom clapped her hands together while getting to her feet. “I’m going to take Rogan to get some snacks and drinks. Your dad can keep you company.” She smiled.
Returning her smile, I laughed with how she was pushing a reluctant Rogan out of the room. Dad shook his head and sat in the seat Mom vacated.
“She has to be doing something when she worries. Stops her from breaking down and crying over one of her babies. It does things to my heart knowing she worries about Rogan the same as you. I’m also glad that you and Rogan are close, and I’m sorry for the things I accused you both of. It’s difficult sometimes, being a parent. I want to get it right, and never have you regret me adopting you.” He coughed to clear his throat. “I love Rogan, and I also love you, Fallon.” He smiled. “I know I don’t say it often enough, but I’m so proud to have you as a daughter.”
He shrugged, and a reddish tint coated his cheeks. “Just thought I should tell you without an audience.”
I tugged on his hand. “I need you closer,” I said, holding my arms out. Dad smiled and wrapped me up against his chest. “I love you too, Daddy.”
He was just as choked up as I was when he sat back down. He breathed a huge sigh of relief and smiled. “You really do need to stop giving us such a fright you know,” he grumbled.