by Rona Jameson
Julia paused and sucked in a breath. “Oh God, I need to push,” Julia screamed.
“Not yet,” the delivery nurse said, utter calm in her voice. “Breathe through the urge. I’ll tell you when to push or pant.”
“I want Leon,” she cried.
“I’m here.” Leon rushed into the room and straight over to Julia.
Julia started crying and Leon cupped her face and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you, babe. I got Fallon’s messages the minute we landed and I switched my phone back on.” He kissed her again.
The doctor walked in and finished helping the delivery nurse get everything ready. “We have a baby to deliver.” She glanced at Leon. “Dad, I presume?”
“Yes.”
“Good, this is how you can help your girlfriend…”
I tuned the doctor out and stood at the back of the room so I wouldn’t get in anyone’s way. I wished I could lie and say I wasn’t nervous, but I was. My friend was in so much pain, and the fact that they were letting her have a vaginal birth terrified me, as it did Leon.
Leon followed the doctor’s orders and within twenty minutes a wiggling baby was placed on Julia’s chest.
I burst into tears at the sight and noticed both Leon and Julia cried too. Leon cuddled Julia to him while he cradled their daughter against her mom. My heart felt so full as I watched, and it did hurt knowing that I would never experience the joy of bringing a child into the world. It hurt more than I’d cared to admit to Julia, which was why my tears refused to stop as I watched them from the back of the room.
Leon turned his head and indicated for me to come closer. I didn’t want to move, but I forced my feet forward. “Fallon, meet Poppy Gerri Davies.”
My tears continued falling and I didn’t care. Little Poppy was gorgeous with a head full of dark blond hair. I leaned in and kissed their baby on her small cheek before kissing my best friend on her forehead.
“I’m so proud of you Julia.” I smiled and turned to Leon, whom I pulled into my arms for a long hug. I whispered, “I’m so proud of you too. You’re going to be an amazing dad.” I kissed his cheek.
“I’m going to leave you two to get to know your daughter.” I moved toward the door and removed the blue gown I’d had to wear.
“Will you tell Rogan about Poppy? Tell him I’ll be out soon.”
I froze and shot my gaze to Leon’s, who hadn’t noticed my reaction.
“Okay.” I left and leaned against the wall directly outside of the room. I hadn’t been prepared to see Rogan, but he was here and I had to go and talk to him. I felt emotionally drained and probably looked as much. I didn’t have it in me to sneak away. I knew how much Leon meant to him, and he’d be worried.
I could do this.
Head turned toward the entrance to the delivery suites; I forced my body to move. Albeit slow. The moment I saw Rogan through the small window in the door, his head snapped up and our eyes met and held. I couldn’t look away. I didn’t want to look away. The tears that I’d managed to get ahold of started to flow freely.
As if in slow motion, Rogan stood and moved toward me, and I exited through the door and moved toward him. Only before we reached each other, strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hard male body. I was startled until I heard Daniel’s whispered, “Are you okay?”
Rogan came to a sudden stop, his eyes never left mine while Daniel hugged me close. I kept my eyes on Rogan, wishing it were him who held me. I let him see everything I was feeling on my face, which I think surprised him. I pushed out of Daniel’s embrace and offered him a small smile before my eyes found Rogan again. I’d always find Rogan, no matter how crowded a room would be.
“Oh, I didn’t know your brother was here,” Daniel said, wrapping an arm around my back and propelling me closer to Rogan.
I swallowed hard and cleared my throat. “Poppy Gerri Davies has arrived and has a head full of dark blond hair. Mother and baby are doing fine.”
“And Leon?” Rogan asked between his teeth, his anger leaking out.
“He surprised me and never let her down.” I felt uncomfortable with the looks Rogan and Daniel exchanged, so I added, “I’m going to go home and then I’ll come back at visiting time.”
“I’ll come with you,” Daniel stated.
Rogan’s jaw tightened. “I’m waiting here.” He turned around and went to stand in front of the window, his back to us and his hands rested on the windowsill. His fists clenched around the wood while his head dropped.
I wanted to go to him, except I was pulled toward the elevator. I didn’t want to leave with Daniel, I wanted to stay with Rogan. Daniel didn’t talk the whole way down, and it was only as we left the hospital that he said, “It’s true, isn’t it?”
“What is?” I asked, confused.
“Rogan and you.” He shook his head in disgust. “That’s why you’ve never wanted anything more with me. You really are in love with him?”
Silent. My mind went numb the moment I heard “Rogan and you” and all thoughts fled. I couldn’t form words to defend us because Daniel spoke the truth.
“How?” I asked softly.
“You are so blind where he’s concerned that you never noticed the whispers at school.” He shook his head and slammed his fist on the steering wheel. “Everyone talked about you both. About the way you’d look at each other. About the way that neither of you dated. About the way you went off with Rogan at his prom. I listened to it and wondered, and until now I never truly believed the gossip. I realize now that I didn’t believe it because I like you. You’re so damn nice and easy to talk to. I really liked you, Fallon.”
I stared out of the window in shock at his words. I was clueless it would seem. Everyone knew and yet I hadn’t known. Had Rogan? Had the gossip at school gotten to Rogan somehow and that, with whatever Leon had said, had forced him to walk away from me? It made me wonder.
At my apartment building, I made no move to climb from his car. I wasn’t sure my legs would hold me up.
“I’m sorry,” Daniel murmured. “I shouldn’t have said all that. It just ticked me off seeing the way you looked at him when you’ve never looked at me like that. It hurt, Fallon.”
My face was covered in tears as I turned toward him. “I’m sorry. You know I never meant to hurt you. I do like you and consider you a friend, but”—I inhaled and slowly exhaled—“my heart will always belong to someone else. I can’t help who I fell in love with, no matter how right or wrong it is. I’ve always loved him, and I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you.”
Daniel sighed. “Come on. I’ll take you up to your apartment.”
I was too tired and upset to refuse, even though I knew I hung on to my emotions by a thread. I felt raw and bleeding and I didn’t know how to make it stop.
Rogan
I said that I was staying at the hospital, but I couldn’t. Once my anger and jealousy had calmed down, I started to remember small things when Fallon had first seen me in the waiting room. Her eyes had shone brightly with tears, but when she’d seen me, I witnessed the change come over her. I didn’t think she realized it, but her watery eyes had lit up as she’d made her way toward me. I saw relief mingled with love on her face.
Then Daniel had gotten between us and I’d come close to punching him. How dare he have his arms around my girl! Fallon had been frozen and hadn’t returned the other guy’s hug. It had been me she’d wanted to hold her. I saw that clearly now that I wasn’t so eaten with jealousy. She’d let him take her home, but that thought gave me pause, and then made me act.
Grateful I had Leon’s car keys in my pocket, I turned and dashed to the parking lot. No way could I wait a moment longer to talk to Fallon. I’d tried to live without her and that hadn’t gone too well.
It took only a few minutes to arrive at her apartment at this time of night. Nothing had changed from when I’d helped move Leon here, except this time Fallon wouldn’t be going to Daniel’s place. No way. I’d given her space, but all it had
taken was the look on her face back at the hospital and I knew she still loved me. Only me. That wasn’t even a question I needed to ask her because I knew.
I typed in the security code for the outer door, and then my legs ate up the distance between us, but I paused once I was outside of her apartment. I really hadn’t thought it through. What would I say to her? What would I do if she ignored me? Slammed the door in my face?
Only one way to find out. I rapped on the door and waited.
My jaw clenched tight when Daniel answered. The other guy gave me a resigned look and stepped back so I could enter.
“I should have known you’d follow her,” Daniel commented.
I raised a brow.
“She’s in the kitchen.” He glanced over his shoulder. “I’ll leave you alone. It isn’t me she wants here.”
He left and I wanted to punch him all over again. Why would he leave his girlfriend so easily?
The clatter of cups led me toward where Fallon was. She looked small and delicate as I watched her move around the small kitchen. Her body slowed and she turned as though she was afraid.
Our eyes met and I couldn’t look away. Fallon had always been a beautiful girl and she’d become so much more as she’d grown into a beautiful woman. She took my breath away.
Regardless of the hurt I’d caused by leaving her, I moved forward and wrapped my whole body around her. Fallon only paused for a moment and then I felt her sink into my embrace. Moments later her body started to tremble and I felt the hot tears she released through my shirt. I picked her up in my arms and sighed into her neck when her legs automatically wrapped around my hips. She clung so tightly to me that I never wanted to put her down.
The couch looked good, so I dropped my bulk onto it and managed to hold onto Fallon. She settled against me, her face buried in my chest. I dipped mine and brushed my nose along the arch of her neck, capturing her scent that was so familiar. I was a fool to give her up. I did it for the right reasons, but it had hurt us both badly.
Not sure how long I’d held onto her and offered her comfort, she lifted her gaze and the first thing she said to me was, “I’ve never had sex with Daniel.” I winced at the bluntness but deep inside I felt relieved, and she continued, “I’m not going to lie to you and say I never thought about it because I did. Except, the moment Daniel kissed me and touched me, I pushed him away. I hated myself for being cruel to him when I knew he liked me a lot more than I liked him. The thing is, I only want you, but you don’t want me anymore.”
Fallon tried to bury her head back into my chest but I refused to let her. She needed to hear what I had to say. “I was sick with jealousy when I found out about Daniel.”
“Just like I was when I found out about Tiffany.”
My blood ran cold at the mention of the girl’s name, and I felt uncomfortable. “I never did anything with her or anyone else. In fact, I regret asking her to help me out.” I closed my eyes and tipped my face up to the ceiling. “She’s nuts, Fallon. I can’t go anywhere around Boston without her showing up. It’s damn spooky.”
“She’s stalking you?” Fallon tilted her head to the side and searched my gaze. “I had her pegged as a stalker when we met.”
I smiled and rolled my eyes. “No, you didn’t.” I pushed her head back to my chest. “You were eaten with jealousy, the way I am when I think about you with another guy.”
She sighed softly into my neck as her face slowly moved up and nuzzled into my neck. “We’re a right pair, huh?”
My fingers wrapped into her long curls and I stroked and played with the soft strands. “I wish I’d never let you go. I ruined us both, Fallon. Don’t for one-minute think it was easy to walk away from you because it was hell. I thought I was doing what was best, and I still do. I’m not sure anymore if it’s healthy for us both to stay away from each other. I thought because you’re young that you’d find it easy to move on, and then maybe if I saw that, I’d be able to do the same. Except it didn’t work out that way. I don’t just miss my girlfriend, Fallon, I miss my best friend.”
“I missed you too.” She sniffled against me. “Please tell me we can be friends again. I don’t ever want to spend another day not talking to you. Something broke inside of me when I lost you.”
My own tears threatened to fall and I quickly swallowed them back and concentrated on breathing. I held Fallon in my arms and she felt amazing. I never wanted us to move. Her scent washed over me, and my heart was finally soothed.
“I can’t believe Leon is a dad,” I commented. “Was he really strong while Julia brought his daughter into the world?”
Fallon sat up and wiped at her face, a smile slipped across her lips. “He really was. Didn’t you see them before you left the hospital?”
“No.” I sighed and urged Fallon to rest back down on me. “I left soon after you did. I didn’t want you alone with Daniel, if I had anything to do with it.”
“I’m glad you’re here. I wish I knew how I was going to explain everything to Daniel.”
“I’ll help you.”
She laughed. “He knows about us, Rogan.”
My breath caught and her fingernails dug into my chest.
“Don’t claw me to death.” I captured her hand and wrapped mine around it. “And explain?”
“We weren’t as secretive as we thought we were.” She shrugged. “I really don’t care about high school anymore. It’s in the past and Daniel is the only one from there that I see.” She paused and I knew there was more that she wasn’t telling me. I waited, but Fallon stayed silent.
“You’re not telling me something. Trust me, Fallon.” I kissed her cheek and lingered. “Trust me.”
“Mom overheard a conversation between Julia and me on prom night.”
“The prom you went to with Daniel.”
“You weren’t around.”
“I was there,” I admitted.
The dark lashes that shadowed her cheeks flew up and seconds later she stood, shocked. I felt the immediate loss of her warmth. “You were there? At my prom?”
I stood and captured her face between my warm hands and held her still. “I was there because I couldn’t stay away. I watched. I saw you enter and I saw you leave. Daniel took you straight home.”
“I don’t know how I should feel about you watching me.”
“I wanted to be the one who led you to prom. Me, Fallon,” I shouted and made her jump. “But I screwed it all up.” I felt like a caged lion as I prowled around the small apartment. “I ruined everything.”
“No way.” Fallon got in front of me and grabbed my arms. “You did what you thought you had to do for me. I know why you did it, it didn’t hurt any less knowing that, though.” She sighed and pushed me to the couch and straddled me, her finger pressed against my chest. “Mom said she’d always suspected there was something more and that she’d always distracted Dad when he was on our scent.” Tears hovered on her lids. “She was happy that you’d walked away, even though she’d wished I wasn’t sad.” She burst into a fresh set of tears. “What are we going to do?”
“We are going to take everything slow until we graduate. We’re not going to give our parents anything to suspect. Not this time. We’re older.” I smirked. “And someone is a year older tomorrow.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.” She grinned through her tears. “It also means that you’re twenty-one in a month.”
“Hmm.” I laughed. “You’re going to help me celebrate, right?”
“I’m afraid, Rogan.”
“I’m here, and after the hell I’ve put us both through, I have no intention of doing that again. We’re going to hang out together whenever we can and once I’ve graduated, which isn’t too far off, I’m going to move out here to you.” I kissed the top of her head. “I’ve applied to the fire department’s training center here.” I grinned at the look of surprise on her face. “I also have an interview in four days.”
“I, um, wow!” She laughed and cupped my face. I felt her
touch all the way to my toes. “So you’d already decided what you wanted to do and where you wanted to be before you saw me?”
“Yes. You’ve always been mine, Fallon. That’s never changed, even though my actions said otherwise.”
“You’ve made me happy, but I still have this knot of fear in my belly. It’s hot and feels stuck inside of me. Mom won’t be happy to see us together, and will take some convincing that we’re friends, and only friends.”
“We’re going to be a lot more than friends, Fallon.” My eyes darkened as I watched the blush on her cheeks.
“I know, but Mom and Dad can’t know, Rogan. They just can’t.” Her panicked words had me worried, and I didn’t want to think about our parents.
“They won’t know if we don’t tell them or give them anything to suspect.” I squeezed her around the waist. “So, Poppy Gerri Davies, huh?”
She chuckled. “She’s gorgeous, Rogan. I can’t wait to go and visit tomorrow and be able to hold her.”
“Me too. I’m glad they managed to incorporate Gerry’s name with her being a girl. Leon’s dad will love that touch.”
“I know. It’s sad he may not be around to hold his granddaughter, but he’ll get to see her on Facetime, and see how happy his son is with his own child, and Julia.”
“Dad is helping, and he’s said if he can do anything to help get Julia and their baby home to see Gerry, then he’d help.”
“We all will.” She yawned. “I think I’m going to be asleep on you soon. I haven’t slept well for a long time and worrying over Julia, then the labor, and then seeing you, it’s all too much.”
“Will you let me hold you while you sleep?” I asked. “I promise I’ll behave. I just want to feel you sleeping in my arms.”
“I’ll probably sleep better than I have since you left if you hold me.”