by Karin Biggs
Heather was the first one to see us. “Where have you guys been?”
“Just out for a walk,” Ari said. “I’m gonna hit the shower. See you ladies later.” Then he pointed at me and raised one black brow. “Stay out of trouble, Paris.”
Heather eyed something on the chair behind me. “Isn’t that Ari’s water bottle?”
She reached for it and read his initials out loud. “Yep, A.P.N. I wonder what his middle name is?”
“Phillip,” I said without hesitation.
One morning, Ari and I talked about middle names and how he tried to go by Phil for a while when he was little because he didn’t like the name Ari. I slipped and told him my real middle name, hoping he didn’t think to check Paris Marigold’s ID.
Heather gave me a sideways glance.
“At least, that’s my guess. You should ask him when you give it back to him.”
She smiled and headed to the dining hall with the water bottle in her hands.
But as I watched her walk away, I couldn’t help but feel that she was taking something that belonged to me.
That night before dinner, I decided it was time to return the Records Room key to the guards. I planned to tell them I found it on the floor of the hallway but when I approached the guard’s station, the words “Capalon in custody” hit me in the chest like a bullet.
The guard who offered me a ‘special arrangement’ from our Mansion tour spoke to a heavy-set female guard. “Yeah, they got this guy locked up for questioning. He’s not talking. News will spread like wildfire soon enough though.”
“How’d they catch him?” asked the woman.
“Suspicious innkeeper called the cops, and they got him with a tech-scanner.”
“Do we have any of those?”
“We did. I can’t find it so don’t tell the captain.” The guard leaned back in his chair. “Can’t imagine the look on that slimy glow worm’s face when they caught him.”
I didn’t stay to listen to the guards’ conversation and headed toward the Records Room. There would have to be a new file in the DETAINED filing cabinet that would tell me who they caught. If it was another patrol officer, then my sister had multiple people looking for me.
When I turned down the hall, I heard approaching footsteps from the opposite end. I ducked behind a fake Christmas tree to see Maestro approach the Records Room door. He knocked softly twice, and the door opened. He looked both ways before stepping inside and closing the door.
Who was he meeting?
I considered opening the door to see if my mother was in there with him, but if I was wrong, I’d reveal my stolen access to the Records Room. And that revelation would bring about a full interrogation by Maestro and the sweaty captain, and potentially spur a war between two enemy kingdoms.
I walked to the dining hall for dinner in a cloud of thought which followed me through the food line and to the table with Layla. Since Layla’s fight with Reese at the campfire, I had been the one to steer our dinner conversation, talking about things like how pretty the Mansion looked, the design of our dresses for the Christmas Ball, and Maestro’s latest outbursts. But sitting with the knowledge that one of my own citizens could be executed because of me placed us both in silence.
We kept our heads focused on our food until guitar chords echoed through the dining hall. Layla looked past my shoulder and I turned to see Reese standing on a chair with his guitar. Normally when Reese sang one of his songs, he smiled and nodded his head along with the audience. His lyrics were light and simple and easy to memorize after hearing a couple choruses.
But on the chair, he kept his eyes shut and sang quick lyrics above powerful guitar chords. As the song climaxed, Reese belted the final notes, raising the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck. As he sustained his last chord, Layla ran out of the dining hall. Reese followed, and I fell into step just a few feet behind.
I found Layla at one of the six hearths with her palms against the mantle, staring into the fire. Reese stood behind her.
I leaned against a bookshelf so it didn’t feel like I was intruding on their conversation. A few other court members in the Lounge turned their heads but Reese and Layla were never ones to shy away from an audience.
“Why did you do that?” Layla asked, keeping her back turned to Reese.
“What, sing?”
“No. Why did you listen to me? That song…the words…and your voice…I’ve never heard you go into that register before. It was strained, but beautiful.”
“Because you were right. I finally had something to be angry about and I put it into a song. You challenge me to be better and…I like you, Layla.”
Layla hit the mantle with her palm. “Dammit, I swore I would never let this happen again.”
Reese pulled the guitar around to rest on his back. “What, listen to my singing?”
She finally turned to face Reese. “No. You…you like me. And I…don’t entirely despise you, which means…which means we could fall in love.”
Reese let out a short laugh. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Everything! Something terrible will happen and we’ll end up miserable and broken.”
“You don’t know that for sure, Layla.”
“Yes, I do. I’ve been through it before and I’m not going to let it happen again. Trust me Reese, I’m doing us both a favor. You should just date Heather. Or Raya. Or any of those girls who—”
Reese wrapped an arm around Layla’s waist and pulled her into a kiss, bending his tall body down to meet her lips. Layla held his face in her hands and kissed him back before taking a step back. “I can’t give you what you want, Reese. I’m sorry.” She stepped between pieces of Lounge furniture, leaving Reese alone at the hearth.
I followed Layla up to our room as my mind connected the dots to the source of Layla’s broken heart. I sat next to Layla on her bed and handed her a box of tissues. “That day in the auto-taxi, you said you would make yourself visible to your ex so he could see what he was missing. You switched seats with me at the State of the Kingdom Dinner so Prince Corbin could see you.”
She blew her nose. “Close. Try the other brother.”
“Prince Taran? But I thought you said you liked older boys?”
“That’s something I would say after getting my heart crushed by a boy our age.”
Layla told me the story of how she and Prince Taran met over the summer when she was working as a server at a restaurant in Wisteria—her hometown and location of Mondaria’s military school. Prince Taran would visit her at the restaurant in his downtime and they fell in love in a matter of weeks. Word got back to the king about their relationship and he forced Taran to put an end to it.
“I was at Taran’s apartment when he got the call and I heard the whole thing. The king said I was a poor mountain girl who wasn’t politically right for him. He said that Prince Corbin at least had the dignity to follow his manhood to the girls who weren’t trash. And that’s all it took. Taran asked me to leave, and it was over.”
I chose my words carefully. “Maybe he broke up with you out of love. He knew that taking it any further would just hurt you more.”
She shook her head. “Next time I saw him in the restaurant, he ignored me. And it was like I could feel the love erased from his soul. I was furious with Taran but I wanted revenge on the king too. And the best revenge I could think of on both of them was getting into the King’s 100. The king has to keep me inside his Mansion and watch me perform almost every night without knowing I’m the trashy girl who took his precious son’s virginity. And Taran…” She forced a laugh. “The look on his face when he saw me at the State of the Kingdom Dinner…” Layla smiled and shook her head.
“What did Taran say to you after the dinner?”
She scoffed. “You think he actually tried to speak to me? Paris, if somebody loves you, truly loves you, they come back for you. Taran had two chances—after he broke up with me and after that dinner.”
“And Reese
?”
She shook her head. “What about Reese? I can’t give him my heart when it’s been ripped out.”
I sighed and wrapped my arms around her. “How can I help, Layla?”
She rested her head against mine. “Be Reese’s kiss partner for the New Year’s Eve Ball.”
After Reese’s and Layla’s duet for New Year’s Eve, the other singers join them for the countdown and traditional kiss, followed by the final song of the night. I was relieved that it was a tradition only for the singers because I overheard Heather ask Agnes if she could kiss a drummer.
I shook my head. “No, you have a duet with Reese. It would make more sense for—”
“It doesn’t have to be us. Maestro already said that.” She leaned back to look at me. “I can’t kiss Reese again. I don’t trust myself. Bad things will happen if I kiss Reese again. I’ll tell him that you’re his new kiss partner and I’ll ask Bradley Wafer—that’s who asked you, right?”
Bradley had continued to be the most uncoordinated New Man since dancing with him during our Mondarian Waltz instruction. When I told Ari I would be kissing him on New Year’s Eve, Ari joked that he might miss my mouth and go straight for my nose.
I looked into Layla’s red-rimmed, hazel eyes. “I’ll do it, but just because you asked me to. If at some point you change your mind, you have to tell me, okay?”
Layla smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”
I offered to give Layla some space and headed back down to the Lounge, where Genevieve called me over to a group of new members playing cards.
“Paris, want to play Sink the Stiff with us?” she asked. “I made brownies…” she said with a song in her voice as she lifted a plate of chocolate squares.
In need of a distraction from Layla’s sadness and from my own nerves about the recent Capalon in custody, I took a seat next to her on the couch. “Sure. Gotta find who has the king of spades, right?”
Heather explained the other steps of the card game and then we started—me, Heather, Ari, Genevieve, Darden, and Staci. Ari was the last to take his turn. He caught my smile but didn’t say anything. I collected all of Ari’s cards, including the king of spades, winning the round.
“You knew from the very beginning. How did you know?” asked Ari as he stuffed a piece of brownie in his mouth.
I shrugged and bit my lip to prevent my smile from stretching too wide.
The next few rounds came down to the last hand. If I successfully went out without losing all my cards, I would beat Staci and win the game. I thought I had it in the bag when Ari sunk me with his last card.
“What did you do?” I shouted at him. “You didn’t bother coming after me till the last card, that doesn’t make any sense!”
“I wanted you to think you were going to get away with it,” he said with a cocky grin.
Out of retaliation, I snagged the last of his brownie and stuffed it in my mouth.
“Oh, you’ll pay for that.”
And before I could swallow, Ari stood up from the couch and lifted me over his shoulder, carrying me out the door and into the cold. He set me down, then slipped inside the door, using his strength to keep it closed.
I was trembling so hard I couldn’t tell if it was from my laughter or the cold. “Ari Novak, you open this door right now!”
Ari gestured as if he couldn’t hear me through the transparent window.
“It’s freezing out here!”
“Say Ari is the best at Sink the Stiff.”
“Ari is the best at Sink the Stiff! Now open this door!”
He cracked the door, just enough for his head to poke through. “Now say I’m the best drummer in all The Lands.”
I hugged myself and jumped on the balls of my feet. “You’re the best drummer in all The Lands and…all the galaxies! Now let me in!”
He opened the door, but instead of allowing me entry, he made his way outside, leaning his body against the door. “I like this game. One more compliment on your own and you can come in.”
I should have taken a step back, but I stood my ground. We were close enough that I felt the heat of his body. “You’re nice.”
He rolled his eyes. “Boring.”
“Ugh! Fine, you’re…fun to talk to.” I made the mistake of allowing my eyes to lock on his. “You always put me in a good mood even if I’ve had a terrible day.”
Ari’s playful grin softened into something more serious and genuine. I spotted a tick in his jaw muscle.
“And…” My brain and inhibitions were numbing from the cold. I leaned forward, so my crossed arms rested against his warm chest. For some reason I thought back to what I said to Maestro the day of my audition. It didn’t seem completely true anymore. Singing was no longer the one thing that made me feel like me. “…I’ve never felt more myself than when I’m with you.”
Ari’s eyes sank into mine until I heard the door click and he stepped aside. “You cheated. I said one compliment, and you gave me three.”
I took a sharp breath, returning me to reality. I ducked my head under his arm as I stepped back inside the Lounge. “I guess I can’t be trusted,” I said with a mocking grin when he stepped in behind me.
“If you can’t be trusted, Paris, then no one can.”
His smile grew and mine faded.
Heather tugged on Ari’s arm. “Ari, let’s be partners for the next game!”
Ari’s eyes broke from mine. “Um, ok…we can take down Paris together.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Actually, I’m going to turn in.”
Heather’s face couldn’t have glittered more with the news of my intention to leave.
I waved goodnight and watched Heather tug Ari back to the game table before I retreated to my room. I repeated a reminder to myself as I climbed the stairs back to my room.
He doesn’t belong to you and he never will.
I woke up before my alarm went off. I had a repeated nightmare about my mother on the stage, only to be killed by the strength of Ari’s two hands. I shivered as I headed downstairs to wait for Ari but a fire roared in our regular hearth. Ari stared blankly at the flames from his armchair.
“How long have you been down here?” I asked.
“Not too long.” He rubbed his eyes. “Didn’t sleep too well last night.”
I took my seat across from him, folding my legs under my bottom. “Something on your mind, Mr. Novak?” I asked with a smile.
Ari nodded but didn’t smile back. “That day in the Village when I ran into Felix, he said I was destined to be a failure just like my dad.” He ran a hand over his stubble. “After what you said to me at Grape Stomp and rolling Felix’s words around in my head for the longest time, I finally wrote my dad a letter. I told him I could no longer be the one person in the family he could lean on because I had my own future to take care of. And…he didn’t take it well.”
I hugged my waist tighter, wishing my arms wrapped around Ari instead. “I’m so sorry, Ari.”
Ari rubbed his palms on the armrests. “He wrote back this long letter, saying all these terrible things and I know they’re all lies, but there’s always some truth in a lie, right?”
Paris Marigold was a lie but there was definitely truth behind my fake identity. I might not have really been Paris Marigold from Green Heights, but I definitely loved to sing. I liked my new friends. And I was absolutely fighting the most real feelings for the boy sitting in front of me.
I agreed with what Ari said but I refused to nod my head, not knowing what terrible things Ari’s dad had said to him. “I think you just have to choose for yourself what you want to believe. And if what your dad said is all bear crap, then it’s all bear crap. And if you think it’s bear crap, then I think it’s bear crap.”
The corner of Ari’s mouth by his scar turned up. “That’s a lot of bear crap.”
“Yeah, but it’s true. Screw what your dad says. What do you believe about yourself?”
He lifted his eyes from the fire to meet mine. “I beli
eve…that a girl from Green Heights has helped me more than she probably knows. And I have no way to return the favor. Other than help you build a fire which you’ve proved you can handle just fine on your own.”
Ari’s sad smile melted me from my head to my toes. A slew of responses sat idly on my tongue:
You’ve helped me by just knowing me.
The first time I saw you, I remembered what it was like to feel joy.
And I don’t ever want to leave when I’m with you because just being around you feels so good.
I hated the safe response I chose. “You introduced me to Dan’s hot chocolate. And now all other hot chocolates pale in comparison.”
He nodded. “I did do that. But what else? What does Paris Marigold want?” Ari leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
I swallowed and stared into his eyes. I knew what I wanted when I first came to the Mansion, but I felt like something was taking the place of that goal. Why should I be a part of whatever grandiose plan my mother had up her sleeve? I just wanted to sing on the King’s 100 and talk to Ari every morning. My lips moved, threatening to form forbidden words that didn’t involve finding my mother or returning with her to Capalon. “I…I want…”
Our heads turned to the sound of the door opening from the Ladies’ Dorms. Eric emerged and walked past us. “Uh, you two didn’t see me.”
We said a unison “yes, sir” and then burst into laughter when the Men’s Door closed behind him. Our conversation moved away from what I wanted to guesses of whose room Eric visited. But at the end of the conversation when we stood up, Ari stretched his arms out for a hug.
“You didn’t tell me what you wanted, but everyone wants a hug.”
I stepped into his embrace, enveloped by the warmth of his flannel-covered arms and the scent of campfire. I wished he could read minds and feel the satisfaction emanating from my chest.
Right now, this is what I want. Please don’t let go.
And he didn’t. Not until another door opened.
Just before our combined rehearsal in the auditorium that day, Heather stopped me in the hallway.