by Sophia Gray
“But they aren’t all like that,” I muttered, finding Rafe in the crowd of people talking seriously with another member, and casting nasty glares over at Gray still standing in the doorway. So not only did I have to worry about a stray bullet taking him away from me, I had to compete with the women in his club vying for his attention.
“Hey. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get you worried. Look, Rafe has never claimed anyone as his before. He’s marked you, when he walked in here holding your hand like that, he marked you for everyone to know you were taken. And that’s never happened with him before; he wouldn’t have done that if he was still looking to sink his dick into anything else.” She laid a hand on my shoulder, trying to make me feel better, but it wasn’t going to work.
How could I ignore so many signs pointing in the get the hell away from him direction? “It’s okay. I’m fine.” I shot her a smile.
“Hey, Sue Ellen.” Rafe’s voice pulled me from my stare fest at the three women huddled in the corner of the hallway. They must have heard him, too. They all turned to stare at him.
Sue Ellen stood up from the couch, tugging her skirt down again and gave him a hug. “How you doing, Rafe?”
“Doing fine. I see you met my girl.” He gave me a quizzical look, but I only looked away. I tried not to get angry at him for being such a manwhore but since most of the single women in the room were still staring, and practically drooling on themselves, it was getting harder by the minute.
“Yeah, sweet thing you have here.” Sue Ellen smiled down at me. I tried to grin back and be polite, but the room was suddenly stuffy and I wanted out of there.
“Have you seen Stephanie recently?” He glanced at me again, but focused on her.
“No. I tried to call her a few times, but her mother just tells me she’s sleeping or she’s busy. I knew she didn’t love the club, but I didn’t think she’d cut us out like this. She’s been friends with a bunch of us for a long time.”
“Yeah. I’m going to head over there now, see how she’s doing. I tried to give her space but it’s been long enough, she needs to peek her head back out into the world.”
I listened to Rafe but all I could see were the women still gawking at him and a few of them giving me dirty looks.
“Sounds good. Thanks.” He gestured for me to join him, so I stood up taking my place beside him. I heard more murmuring coming from behind me but tried to ignore it.
Rafe must have heard it, too, because he craned his neck to see where it was coming from. “Let’s go.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and gave me a squeeze.
“Bye, Sue Ellen, it was nice meeting you.” I managed to get the words out before Rafe dragged me away. She waved at me and smirked at his animal manners. “Stop doing that.” I tried to chastise him quietly, but his grip hardened on my waist and I shut my mouth.
As we made our way down the steps and back toward the parking lot, I heard a few whispered words of “slut” and “ho bag” being uttered. I stopped walking and tried to turn around, but he kept me going, keeping me trapped in his arm. “Ignore them. They are looking to piss you off, don’t let them.”
I glared over my shoulder at the small group of women who had followed us out of the funeral home. “You want me to let them insult me like that?” I hissed at him as he unlocked my door.
“No, I want you to get in the car and let me deal with them.” He pulled the door open and nodded to the seat.
I pursed my lips together hard, fighting not to really lay into him. He probably just wanted to let them know not to worry. He’d be back at the club house soon and they could have all they wanted of him and his cock. Deciding to just ignore him and the tramps, I took my seat and pulled the door closed myself, making sure he saw me glare up at him.
I watched him through the window walking over to the little harem. They were all smiles and hair tossing until he started talking. Then the pouting lips showed up, and the hand on the hips started. When he walked back to the car he looked calm, as though nothing had just transpired.
“Did you tell them you’d be available later tonight?” I snapped at him when he shut his door.
He looked at me with surprise. Maybe he thought I wouldn’t notice or didn’t know what a whore he himself was. “Jealous? I thought you were done with me as soon as you didn’t need me to protect you anymore.”
I didn’t look out my window as we passed the entrance of the funeral home, but I knew those girls were glaring me down. They wanted what I had. “I am,” I said, more to remind myself of my decision than him.
He turned the radio on. “Then don’t worry about what I said to those girls.”
“Fine.” I crossed my arms over my chest and stared out the window.
We drove in silence the rest of the way. He turned down a side street that was lit up brightly with street lights. The houses were twice the size of anything on my block, and the lawns were all well maintained. Not a single one had a dirt patch anywhere.
When he pulled into the driveway of a two-story house, I flipped off the radio. “Where are we?”
“Jason’s house. Well, his wife’s house now.” He shifted into park and leaned back in his seat. “I haven’t been here since the funeral.”
Looking at him, I could see the pain he was trying so hard to stuff down inside of him and hide. I reached over the gear shift and took his hand. When he looked at me, I gave a little smile. “I’m jealous of those girls,” I confessed, trying to take his mind off his grief. “Sue Ellen told me you’ve slept with all of them, every one of them.”
“Sue Ellen is a gossip.” His thumb rubbed the inside of my palm. “Silver would bust her ass if he knew she was saying stuff like that.”
“So it’s not true?”
“I didn’t say that. I said she shouldn’t be telling you about it.” Reminding myself I was trying to make him feel better, and not start a fight I took a calming breath. He let go of my hand and rested it on my shoulder. “I’ve never claimed a girl before. I used them for the same thing they used me for. But I claimed you.”
“I won’t let you cheat on me.” I felt tears start to build in my eyes and fought them off best I could. “I don’t share well with others.”
He laughed. “That’s good, because neither do I.” His lips brushed across mine. “But I thought you said you were tossing my ass aside after all this is over.”
I had said that. Not less than twenty minutes ago I said it, but I didn’t mean it. Not anymore. I knew what a risk it was being with him, but I also knew he’d rather die keeping us safe than put us in the front line of fire.
“Isn’t your friend’s wife going to be upset that we just stopped by?” I wasn’t ready to voice what my heart felt.
“Beth.” He waited until my eyes met his before he continued. “When this is over, I’m not walking out. I’m not leaving, and I think you don’t want me to either. I think you’re jealous about those girls because you care more than you want to. You’re afraid I’m going to hurt you, that I’m going to abandon you like that asshole of an ex did.” He framed my face with his hands, his dark eyes staring into my eyes with a fierceness I hadn’t seen from him before. “I will never walk away from you.”
I didn’t know what to say, how to respond. Thankfully, he did. He kissed me.
Chapter Sixteen
RAFE
Sue Ellen would be lucky if she sat down within a few days after Silver dealt with her damn gossiping again. I should have considered myself lucky she only told Beth about the whores. There were plenty of other things I’d done while in the MC that would have sent Beth running if she knew them.
Walking up the pathway to Jason’s front door, I gripped Beth’s hand in mine. Other than a few words after his funeral, Stephanie hadn’t spoken to me at all. We’d never agreed on a lot of things, mostly Jason’s dedication to the club, but that didn’t mean I didn’t care for her like a sister. Jason loved her more than anything, and he would have given up the club for her if she ha
d asked. Her not asking him to leave the club was what made me feel as much respect for her as I did. She knew he loved it, knew he would be lost without it, so she didn’t take him from it, but did keep as far from the club as she herself could.
I couldn’t really fault her for that. Jason had met Stephanie through her younger brother, who was a patched member before Jason took the president chair. Unfortunately, Christian was killed in that debacle of a job with Javier. She never stepped foot in the clubhouse again. She remained friends with the girls, but she wouldn’t go to the clubhouse.
I rang the doorbell and shifted my shoulders, straightening my kutte.
“It’ll be okay,” Beth whispered just before the door swung open.
Stephanie stood before us, glaring. Her midnight black hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, exposing her flawlessly pale skin. Dark eyeliner outlined her stark blue eyes that were fixed on me with what I can only describe as a death stare.
“What do you want?” The blank tank top slid up her flat stomach when she folded her arms under her breasts, shoving them further up. Jason had always been a boob man.
“Hey, Steph. I wanted to check with you, see how you were doing.”
“I’m fine.” She looked at Beth. “Who’s this?”
Beth’s hand gripped mine a little harder at Stephanie’s obvious appraisal of her. “I’m Beth.” Her voice held steady.
“Got an old lady now?” Stephanie’s eyes were back on me, trying burn through me.
“She’s my girl. Can we come in?” I looked past her into the darkened house. Only a single light in the kitchen was on.
“What for?”
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Beth let go of my hand and stepped forward, standing between the two of us. “We were just at Tristan’s wake and some of the other guys were concerned about you. Rafe’s concerned. He wanted to see how you were doing. That’s all.”
Stephanie looked over her shoulder at me, some of the anger in her eyes started to soften. “Fine.” She moved to the side and let us enter. “I was just going to make some coffee.” She left the door open as she led Beth toward the kitchen. I closed it and locked it before I followed, taking a look around as I did.
Stephanie worked as a hairdresser, her salon was attached to the house in the back. Jason and I had built it for her birthday one year. She typically kept the house immaculate since most of her customers ended up wandering through it while waiting. That didn’t seem to be the case at the moment. Laundry baskets were randomly placed throughout the first floor, some filled with folded clothes others unfolded, scrunched up laundry.
The smell of coffee filled the kitchen as we entered it. “You want a cup?” She looked at Beth.
“Uh, sure.” Beth gave me a look that seemed to tell me to sit down and be quiet. I didn’t like it, but since she seemed to be getting through to Stephanie, I’d let her take the lead for the moment.
“How long have you known him?” Stephanie poured the warm brew into two mugs. “Couldn’t be that long. Jason would have mentioned if he stuck with one girl for more than one night.”
As a jab at me, it was pretty weak. She wasn’t lying or even exaggerating, and suddenly I was grateful for Sue Ellen having already opened that can of worms.
“No, just a few weeks. I met him right before your husband passed away.” Beth broached the topic of Jason’s death with a soft tone.
“Passed away?” Stephanie put the coffee pot back in the maker a little harder than necessary and glared at me. “Is that what you told her? That he passed away? Not that he was shot down in cold blood?”
“She’s aware of how he died, Steph. She’s trying to be polite.” I didn’t hide my irritation. Her anger at me needed to go away. I didn’t kill him. I loved him like a brother, and if she would stop being so damn irrational, she’d have a whole fucking family to stand behind her while she grieved. But instead she turned her back on us. Again.
“So you told her everything, did you?”
“Stephanie…”
“How are you holding up? It must be hard trying to go through this alone.” Beth ignored the tension between the two of us and started spooning sugar into her coffee. I didn’t have her pegged for a sugar feign, but by the time she finished, there was probably more sugar in her cup than coffee.
“I’m not alone. Well, I wasn’t. My mom and sister were here, but they had to go back to Tennessee. They left this morning.” Stephanie picked up her mug and leaned against the counter. “I heard about Tristan. I’m sure everyone’s pissed I wasn’t there tonight.”
“No. I think they understood,” Beth answered before I could open my mouth. “But they did seem concerned. The guy with the blond hair, what’s his name?”
“Gray?” Stephanie’s eyes narrowed at the mention of his name. The one issue Stephanie and I completely agreed on was Gray.
“Yeah, that guy. He sort of reminds of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, have you seen those reruns on TV?” Beth smiled. “I know they’re a little old and out dated, but that guy is still pretty hot. But Gray, well, I guess other than the hair, maybe not.” She bit her lip trying not to laugh.
Stephanie cracked a smile. “Yeah, I know who you’re talking about. I thought he looked more like that zombie guy on iZombie, the bad one?”
“Oh yeah, he does. Except Gray’s teeth sort of ruin the look.” Beth laughed along with Stephanie. I should have known she could get Stephanie to relax. The woman had a way about her that could put anyone at ease. “Anyway, he was worried that you wouldn’t take the pay you had coming to you?”
Stephanie’s smile dropped a little when she nodded. “I don’t need their blood money. I can make it on my own. Once I get the shop re-opened, I’ll be fine.”
“What shop?”
“My hair salon. It’s right through there.” She pointed to the door leading to the back room. “I’ll reopen in a week or two. Right now I just needed to be alone.”
“Well, you aren’t alone.” Beth put her cup down. “You have us. You have those girls at the club. Sue Ellen is worried.”
“I should call her. But I don’t want Jason’s pay. It’s dirty money.” Stephanie turned her gaze back on me.
“It’s not dirty money, Steph. It’s the money he would have earned from the garage. It’s his paycheck. Taxes are paid and everything. Completely legal.”
“Legal? You call anything you guys do over there legal?” Her hands were back to being balled up on her hips.
“It sounds like a payroll check,” Beth chimed in, again trying to soothe down Stephanie’s flames.
“Payroll.” Steph snorted. “You tell her everything, Rafe? You tell her all of the shit you guys do over there to make money? No way that garage brings in enough money to pay Jason that much money.” She turned to Beth. “His paycheck is two grand a week. Two grand! No garage makes that much money to pay one of the employees nearly ten grand a month. No garage.”
“Jason wasn’t an employee; he was part owner. And the fucking president.” I stood up from the table.
“Yeah. And how many gun runs did he oversee to make that fucking money? How many times did you all get together to move guns over state lines and into the hands of kids?” Her anger was back in full steam and solely trained on me.
“Jason told you—”
“Jason told me what he needed to keep me out of his hair about the fucking club. I loved that man, Rafe. I loved him so much that I couldn’t bring myself to tear him away from the fucking club because I knew how much it meant to him. How much you meant to him.” Tears shimmered in her blue eyes, but I didn’t make a move toward her. Sympathy would only fuel her more.
“He didn’t choose the club over you, Steph.”
“I know that.” She spat at me then turned to Beth. “You need to get away from him.” She pointed to me with a new venom in her voice. “He will suck you in, and everything you know to be wrong in the world will soon be the things you pretend are okay. Yo
u start turning a blind eye when he comes home with blood soaked through his jeans. Or new tears in his leathers from where a bullet grazed him. You start rationalizing the times he kills someone.”
“Kills someone?” Beth looked at me briefly but then focused on Stephanie, her shoulders back and her chin thrust forward. “What are you talking about?”
“He doesn’t tell you everything. He never will. There will always be secrets, things he can’t tell you. Or just won’t tell you. Like when he’s gone for three days on a run but you don’t know where he went, who he was with or if he’s coming back alive. That club got my brother killed, then they got my husband killed. And they don’t even fucking know who did it. Gray isn’t looking into it. He said it was a random hit. Someone trying to break into the warehouse.”