Patternmaster

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Patternmaster Page 13

by Octavia E. Butler


  “Keep quiet.” He didn’t bother to look at her. Both she and Coransee ought to be grateful to him. He was giving them a way out. A way to avoid a potentially suicidal confrontation. Or, at the very worst, he was joining the confrontation and thus making it less certainly suicidal for Amber. “We’re one,” he told Coransee. “She and I are one. Attacking her is the same as attacking me.”

  Coransee looked at Teray with mild surprise. “She’s worth your life to you?”

  “She is.” Not that he expected to pay with his life for siding with her. The moment of greatest tension had passed. Now Coransee would find a face-saving way out.

  “Has she already agreed to stay with you?” the Housemaster asked. Had Teray succeeded where Coransee had failed?

  “No, Lord. In fact, she refused.”

  Coransee laughed aloud. “Then you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”

  Teray said nothing, stayed where he was. Coransee said to Amber, “Would you let him throw away his foolish life for you, girl? You know I’d kill him.”

  Amber did not answer.

  “You might even have some chance against me since I’m no healer. He’d have none at all.” He sounded like Darah.

  “Do you really want my life now?” Amber asked softly. “Are you trying to move him out of your way so you can kill me?”

  He smiled. “I doubt that that would be necessary. Believe it or not, what I’m trying very hard to do is keep both of you alive.”

  “Then what do you want from me?”

  “For now, a link. I want you to open and let me see what slowly lethal thing you may already have done to my body. Then I want a link that will let me know if you try to do it again. Only that in place of the beating you deserve.”

  “I’m linked with Teray.”

  “That’s your problem—and his. To keep you from murdering me, I need a link with you. You warned me, after all. Refuse, and I’ll have to kill you here and now.”

  She stared at him for several seconds, then looked at Teray helplessly.

  “If you decide to fight, I’ll stand with you,” he said.

  “No.”

  “We have a chance. Your strength coupled with mine …”

  “No, Teray.” She coughed and then was still for a moment, as though making some inner adjustment. “Not now. Not unless I have to, and especially not with you. I’m too tired, drained. I might fail you.” She hesitated. “Shall I break our link?”

  “Break it? No, of course not.”

  “But you’ll be joined with him through me.”

  “Only incidentally. He won’t be able to read me any more than he already does. He and I are too far apart.”

  “But … he’ll be more aware of you. You won’t be able to …”

  “Take him by surprise? I probably couldn’t anyway. Besides, if you want our link broken, you don’t have to ask. You can just break it.”

  “I don’t want to. I should, for your sake, but I don’t want to. I want you with me.”

  He only looked at her, loving her, wanting her, knowing that somehow he had to take her from Coransee. As he had to have his own freedom, he had to have her.

  She turned away from the intensity of his gaze and he felt a flickering of fear in her. Fear of him?

  A moment later she opened to Coransee. Teray had no awareness of the exact communication that passed between them. That they held private. Only through the link could he feel her fear suddenly expand, grow momentarily to terror, then lessen just as he was about to interfere. It lessened to anger, humiliation, hatred.

  Then, as her emotions settled, Teray became aware of Coransee as a part of the link. The Housemaster was an intruder, unwelcome, bringing discomfort to the link for the first time. Teray tried to rid himself of the sensation of being mentally invaded. He knew that Coransee could not reach his thoughts unless he opened. Yet the feeling would not go away.

  Teray ran his hand through his hair, wondering how he could ever learn to live with such a sensation. The constant feeling of being watched, spied on, by a hostile presence.

  Amber, jaws clenched, caught his hand and held it. Teray realized how much more aware of the sensation she must be. She was linked directly. He was only receiving through her. Through his link, he offered her sustaining strength. After a moment of hesitation she accepted it.

  With a start, he realized that she was near collapse. Healing such a serious wound when she was already so tired had weakened her greatly. And despite whatever she had eaten, she was ravenously hungry. He put his arm around her.

  “Can we rest here for a while?” he asked Coransee. “You can probably feel how far gone she is.”

  “Is she?” Coransee glanced at Amber. “Tell him what you were going to do to me.”

  “What difference does it make? I can’t do it now without alerting you ahead of time.”

  “I said tell him!”

  She glanced at Teray, then looked down at the sand. “I was going to try to kill him tonight while he slept. The way we kill Clayarks. It might have worked if I could have caught him completely off guard.”

  Coransee nodded grimly. “Anytime you want to try your luck, healer, you can face me. But it will be face to face, with both of us wide awake.”

  She said nothing.

  “Now, are you ready to go on or are you too tired?”

  “I’m tired, Lord, but I can go on.”

  Teray started to protest, but the look Amber gave him kept him silent.

  “Get to your horses, then,” said Coransee. He went away, shouting to the others to mount up.

  “At this point,” said Amber softly, “I think he would have killed me regardless of the damage I’d do him before I died. Killed me and left me here. He’s angry enough to take the risk. He still has the nerve to be outraged when he finds someone else trying to take unfair advantage.”

  “Would you really have done it?”

  “Of course I would have done it. That’s why he’s so angry—and that’s why he’s more than a little worried. He’s starting to think. He’s thinking about how far he is from the nearest healer—other than me. God, I wish I didn’t feel so weak!”

  “I should have attacked him the moment I saw him.”

  “You haven’t given up, have you?”

  He looked at her, startled. “Of course not.”

  “Good. Because I think he’s planning something for you. I got something from him while he was snooping through my thoughts. Not much, but it was hostile, and it was against you.”

  “That’s not surprising.”

  “But … I don’t know. It feels as though he’s lied to you about something.”

  “About what? Letting me go on to Forsyth, or …?”

  “I don’t know. I have to think about it more. I’ll tell you as soon as I think I’ve figured it out. Hopefully, I’ll tell you before I have to tell him.”

  Teray glanced back toward Coransee. “You think you’ll have to open to him again?”

  She smiled tiredly. “If you were him, Teray, would you trust me?”

  They traveled for the rest of the day, Teray offering Amber as much of his own strength as she needed. She accepted only until she found in her rations enough readily edible food to steady herself. She refused Teray’s offer of his rations.

  “If that sniper is still around, you might wind up needing them yourself,” she told him.

  Teray’s awareness of Coransee’s link had dulled, was nothing more than an annoyance now. It kept Teray tense, made him do more looking over his shoulder than necessary, but that was just as well. The canopy of his awareness, spread as he had vowed it would be, covered even less of the area around him than it normally would have covered unassisted. This was not only because he had given part of his strength to help Amber, but because he was tired himself. He was worried about the Clayark sniper. If the creature fired again from as far away as he had when he hit Amber, Teray would have no chance of sensing him.

  Then there was the possi
bility that Teray had not had time to think about. The possibility that Coransee had been more right than he knew when he suspected that the Clayark had been aiming at Teray.

  They made camp that night against a long rocky ledge. They had not heard or sensed anything more from the Clayarks, but one of Coransee’s women had sensed a doe back in the hills and lured it out. After everyone had eaten, Teray called Coransee aside.

  The Housemaster had apparently gotten over his anger—or he remained angry only at Amber. He followed Teray away from the group far enough along the rock ledge to be out of earshot. There he told Coransee of the Clayark he had talked to before leaving Redhill.

  “Lord, it recognized me,” he finished. “It knew me as a son of Rayal.”

  “So you think the sniper today really was shooting at you specifically, rather than at the handiest Patternist.”

  “I think it’s possible. And I think it might happen again—to either of us. After all, they’ve captured at least one of your mutes, so they probably know you’re a son of Rayal too. They might even know just how near death Rayal is.”

  Coransee frowned, thinking. “They’ve captured more than one of my mutes over the years, but that last one … you’re right. He would have had quite a bit to tell them. But as for the Clayark who identified you, you did kill it, didn’t you?”

  “No.”

  Coransee raised an eyebrow.

  “I should have, but I didn’t. No excuse.”

  Coransee looked away, exasperated. “You know, those four extra years in school didn’t do a damn thing for you.”

  Without a word, Teray turned away to go back to the fire. He had delivered his message. Only hours before, Coransee had made a mistake that had almost cost Amber her life. A mistake that the Housemaster not only did not want to be told about, but that he had not yet bothered to correct. He had certainly not linked with Amber to widen the range of his awareness.

  “Brother!”

  Teray looked around at him.

  “Back,” said Coransee simply. As though he were calling an animal, Teray thought. Or a mute.

  “Brother!”

  Teray trudged back.

  Coransee leaned against the ledge, relaxed. “You will send the woman to me.”

  Teray stared at him, speechless, for a moment. “Amber?”

  “Of course Amber. You will send her to me.”

  It was his right since he had claimed Amber. No woman of his House had the right to refuse him. His women could refuse any other man if they wished, but not him. “If you want her,” said Teray, “call her yourself.” Coransee could have called her without moving from where he was or saying a word aloud. But he preferred to humiliate Teray.

  Coransee smiled. “She’s less likely to do anything foolish if you send her to me.”

  “You’re the one who’s doing something foolish. You’re pushing her even though you know that if she attacks you out here, miles from anywhere, you might kill her, but not before she’s mortally injured you.”

  “I’m pushing her all right. I’m pushing you, too, brother.”

  Teray glared at him, hearing the challenge, ignoring it.

  “You stood beside her today and tried to talk her into attacking me. You offered to help her. Do you expect me to thank you for that? If you were anyone else, you’d already be dead. Now go and convince the woman to come to me quietly—unless you want to find out just how badly I can hurt her without being hurt myself.”

  Teray completely surprised both himself and Coransee. He smashed his fist hard into the Housemaster’s face.

  Caught off guard, Coransee stumbled and fell to the ground.

  Teray turned and, without hurrying, walked back to the group. He was tensed and ready to defend himself if Coransee attacked, but surprisingly the Housemaster let him go.

  Amber was not beside the fire. He looked around and saw her preparing their pallet a short distance away from the others against the ledge. He went over to her and she turned to look at him apprehensively.

  “I couldn’t help feeling some of that through the link,” she said. “From the emotions on both sides, I thought you two were going to have it out now.”

  “He wants you,” said Teray tonelessly.

  She was on her knees on the blankets, looking up at him. Now, after a moment of surprise, she rose and walked a few steps away and stood with her back to him. The contained fury he sensed in her alarmed him. He went to her and put his hands on her shoulders. She turned and was in his arms.

  “I’d like to break his legs and leave him here alive for the Clayarks,” she muttered. “I’m sorry, Teray.”

  “Sorry for what?”

  “Sorry to be of use to him against you.” Her voice grew bitter. “He doesn’t give a damn about me now except to break me. He’s doing this to humiliate you.”

  “I know.”

  “And that’s not all he’s doing. I finally realize how he was lying to you. I should have seen it from the first.”

  “Yes?”

  “He’s not taking you to Forsyth to be judged by Rayal. He’s already judged you himself. He’s taking you to Forsyth to kill you. He’s as wary of you as he is of me, and he wants someone around to heal any damage you might do to him. Meanwhile, he’ll make do with just humiliating you.”

  “You interpret the little you got from his mind to mean all that?”

  “Yes. And it fell right into place. I know him, Teray. I know how he lies. You should, too, by now.”

  “But he could have killed me back at Redhill.”

  “Why should he have? You were still being a good, respectful outsider. Still doing as you were told. There was always the chance that you might come to your senses and submit. But then you had to go and run away—to Forsyth, yet, and with me.” She took a deep breath, slowed down. “Well, think about it. I admit it’s guesswork, but I couldn’t be more positive that I’m right. If you decide you agree with me, you’d better start thinking about what you’re going to do.”

  She bent to pick up a blanket. He caught her arm. They straightened, facing each other.

  “You haven’t said it all,” he told her. “There’s enough anxiety coming through the link to tell me you’ve left out something important.”

  Without speaking she severed the link.

  Solitude came to him jarringly. “Why did you do that? What’s the matter with you?”

  “You want me to stay linked to you while I’m with him?”

  Understanding Teray grimaced. For the second time that day, their extreme closeness made the link a handicap. “All right,” he said. “You had reason to break the link. But you didn’t break it soon enough. I know something else is bothering you.”

  “It’s personal,” she said. “My business.”

  From anyone else, that would have been enough to stop him. But he knew her better than he had ever known anyone else. He did not believe she really wanted him to stop.

  “Tell me,” he said quietly. He was still holding her arm and she wrenched away from him.

  “You’re as big a fool as I am,” she said. “Looking for more trouble when you’ve already got plenty.”

  “What have you done that you consider foolish?”

  She gave a short, mirthless laugh. “It’s only my timing that’s foolish, Teray. I decided that I wanted a child by you. And since I didn’t know how long we’d be together, I didn’t want to wait.”

  For a moment Teray’s surprise left him without words. Finally, “You mean you’re pregnant now?”

  “Oh yes. And believe me, I wouldn’t have told you if Coransee hadn’t already found out. He realized it when he made me open.”

  “But you’ve opened to me and I haven’t seen …”

  “You don’t snoop the way he does. It’s practically an art with him. Open to him and he lifts your whole life.”

  “He’s the last person who should know.” Teray frowned. “Hell, he has the right to kill it if he wants to—since he claims us and he hasn
’t given us permission to have a child.”

  “It’s barely a child yet. It’s only a few days old—just a ball of cells growing.”

  “You should have told me. I can’t understand why he hasn’t killed it already”

  “I haven’t let him,” she said. “Because the way things are going, I wasn’t sure you’d be around to replace it.”

  Teray winced. “That’s encouraging.”

  “Just don’t let him get you to Forsyth.”

  “How did you keep him from killing the baby?”

  “I let him see how determined I was to have it. He decided to let me wait until we get to Forsyth, too.”

  “He told you he would kill it in Forsyth?”

  “No, he withdrew without comment. He withdrew in that special way of his that means, ‘Later.” She sighed. “I think he only wants to kill it out of vindictiveness—because I refused to have a child for him.”

  Teray frowned. “I should let you know that I’m not ignoring the warnings you’re giving me about Forsyth.”

  “I didn’t think you were. You don’t have to say anything more about it.”

  “Good. And I want you to know that I consider protecting an unborn child a responsibility for two. If Coransee reads that in your thoughts, fine.”

  “I’d feel the same way,” she said softly, “if you and I had talked about it ahead of time. If we had both decided that it was a reasonable responsibility to assume at a time like this—which it isn’t.”

  “No, it isn’t.” He hugged her and suddenly found himself smiling. “And I wouldn’t have asked it of you until we were a lot more secure. But I’m glad you did it. Why did you refuse to have his child?”

  “He waited too long to ask me. He waited until I had gotten to know him.”

  Teray laughed softly. She had given him a kind of victory. Not a large victory but one he could savor. One that Coransee’s humiliations could not destroy. And the child would be a living link between them even if Teray was unable to convince her to stay with him. Or it would be a part of him that survived even if Coransee succeeded in killing him. But he did not want to think about that last. Living suddenly seemed more important than ever. Living and keeping Amber and the child alive.

 

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