by Marta Perry
The porch was full of shadows from the past. She could practically see her and Mia sitting side by side on the top step, each holding a doll and debating whether to take their babies on a picnic by the creek or leave them here and go pick wildflowers for their mother.
Why did you have to die, Mia? Her big sister had been her hero, her second mom, her best friend. And this house—like everything else around here—had moved on as if Mia never existed.
Eden forced her feet up the steps and, shivering, rang the doorbell. It would be just her and the twins today, since Gabby didn’t need her to babysit Phoebe on Mondays. Martha was still driving here early to get the girls up and fed while Ryder tackled ranch chores. The front door opened, and instead of Martha, Ryder appeared. His hair was rumpled, and he wore a sweatshirt, jeans and bare feet. Seeing his toes felt oddly intimate.
“Hey,” he said. His eyes brightened as his mouth curved into a self-deprecating smile.
“Hey.”
He opened the door wide, and she went inside, trying to avoid brushing against him. In the foyer, she stooped to take off her boots, then slid off her coat. Ryder took it from her and hung it up in the hall closet.
“I thought you’d be out feeding cows or something.” She clutched a tote full of supplies for the day.
“I wanted to be here to thank you and to give you the tour.”
“You don’t need to…”
“Yes, I do.”
“I don’t want—”
“You told me you didn’t want your parents to sell this place.” He made no effort to move from the foyer. “I know it’s important to you, and I want you to feel comfortable here.”
Everything he said was true, but he didn’t get it. This was more than her childhood home. It held her memories of her sister, and she would never have the opportunity to make new ones.
“Auntie Eden!” Harper raced down the hall and wrapped her arms around Eden’s legs. Then she stared up at her through those big blue eyes. “You’re here! I’m gonna show you my room!”
Mia’s room. Eden’s heart lurched, but she attempted to smile as she smoothed Harper’s hair. “I would love that.”
Ryder’s cell phone rang. “Mind giving me a sec? It’s Chris.”
“Go ahead.” Eden let Harper take her hand and was soon dragged to the staircase.
“I’m coming, too!” Ivy bounced down the hall to them as they reached the first step.
Eden glanced back at Ryder, who frowned as he talked to Chris. “No…yeah. Okay, I see your point. We’ll keep an eye on her throughout the day…thanks for the heads-up.”
“Everything okay?” she asked. The girls yanked on her arms to keep going upstairs.
“I think so. We still have some pregnant cows to check after last night’s storm.”
“Go ahead. We’ll be fine.” Eden held her breath, hoping he’d take the hint and leave them alone. She didn’t want him around to witness her reaction. Dear Lord, please help me hold it together in front of the girls.
“If you’re sure…” He hesitated, then nodded. “Text or call if you need anything.”
“Come on, Auntie Eden!” The girls pulled her forward.
“Okay, okay, don’t rip my arms off.” She laughed, but dread bubbled in her gut.
At the top of the stairs, she paused. Everything had been freshly painted in pale gray with white trim. It seemed bigger than before. The girls began arguing over which room to show Eden first.
“Which room is closest?” It wasn’t difficult to neutralize their tempers. Harper grudgingly admitted Ivy’s was, so they went in there first.
As soon as Eden walked in, the dread vanished. The room was painted pale pink, and it had new carpet. Ivy’s bed took up a big portion of the room, and a white desk and white dresser rounded out the furniture. Bookcases were lined with toys and books, and stuffed animals sat on the top. The room was precious.
“I love it, Ivy.” And she did. Eden’s memories of flopping onto her stomach on the floor, paging through a picture book and petting her beloved orange cat, Muffin, were still here despite the fresh paint and new furniture. “Do you?”
“Yes,” Ivy said. “Daddy tucks me in every night and hugs Fluffybear extra tight.”
“Who is Fluffybear?”
Harper raced to the bed and lugged a big floppy stuffed bear over. “He’s right here. Ivy’s not ’llowed to take him out.”
“Harper! I wanted to show her.”
“Sorry.” Harper didn’t sound sorry.
“Can I give him a hug?” Eden held her arms out, and Ivy took Fluffybear from Harper and pressed him into her arms. She could smell the faint scent of fabric softener and a whiff of Ryder’s cologne as she lingered over it a second more than she should have. “Why don’t you show me everything else?”
Ivy conducted the tour of the room, pointing out the special toys her mother had bought her and a framed picture of Lily crouching with her arms around the twins’ shoulders. Her beauty stopped Eden cold. Ryder’s ex-wife’s skin was flawless, her eyes big and blue, her hair long and brown, the same as the twins’. Her groomed eyebrows, straight nose and full lips were perfection. She appeared kind, happy, outgoing.
“I want Mommy to stay in my room when she comes,” Ivy said.
“That’s not fair.” Harper frowned.
Ivy got close to her sister and looked her in the eyes. “She can sleep with me one night and you the next.”
Harper’s face cleared. “Okay.”
“Are you ready to show me your room?” Eden asked Harper.
They made their way down the hall to Harper’s room. Mia’s old room. Eden’s heart pinched as strains of Mia’s laughter echoed in her mind.
“C’mon.” The girls ran ahead of her, and she took a moment to prepare herself. How many times had Mia slammed the door shut in her face when they were young and mad at each other? How many times had they played with their Barbies in there? Listened to music? Giggled about boys and friends? When Mia was a senior, she’d pulled Eden inside and shut the door. Her face had positively dazzled as she told her Ben Jones had asked her to prom. The high school quarterback! And so cute. They’d jumped up and down and discussed it all night.
That was what hurt the most about Mia being gone. She missed their bond. Missed the one person who knew all her secrets. She’d shared everything with Mia.
“Aren’t you comin’ in?” Harper’s forehead wrinkled in concern.
“Of course I am.” Eden forced a happy expression on her face. It wasn’t Harper’s fault she was struggling today, and even if she had to fake it, she’d ooh and aah over her room.
Eden entered the butter-yellow room with the same furniture as Ivy’s. Harper’s was messier. Plastic horse figurines lay on their sides in front of the bookshelf, and three rumpled shirts had been tossed near the closet. A pile of books had toppled over by the bed.
“Why’d you look so sad?” Harper asked.
“Did I?” The girls were more perceptive than she realized. “You know this was my sister’s room, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I miss her. I have a lot of good memories with her in here.”
Harper took Eden’s hand and pressed it to her own cheek. “I’m sorry you miss her.”
Ivy snuggled up against Eden’s side. “I’m sorry, too, Auntie Eden.”
Such sweet girls.
“I guess it would be strange if we didn’t miss the people we love, wouldn’t it?” She put her arms around them and hugged them both.
“I miss Mommy.” Ivy sighed.
“Me, too.” Harper’s face couldn’t droop any farther.
“Of course, you do. Just because she isn’t here doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.” Eden had an idea. “Why don’t I take pictures of you in your new rooms? We can add them to your special books fo
r when she visits. Then when she misses you, all she has to do is open the books.”
Both girls turned to each other and grinned. “Yes!”
For the next twenty minutes, Eden took pictures of the girls in every room of the house, except Ryder’s bedroom. Finally, they ended up in the kitchen. As they wrapped up the tour, Eden marveled at the changes. The house was the same—but different. Brighter. More open. Still full of love.
“When it gets nice out, we can go on adventures around the ranch.” Eden poured each girl a glass of milk. “I know all kinds of hidden places.”
“You do?”
“I do. And pretty soon there will be wildflowers along the creek. You can pick them and make bouquets.”
“I love flowers,” Ivy said with a dreamy expression.
“I want to ride horseys.” Harper had a milk mustache.
“What about you, Ivy?” Eden asked. “Do you want to ride a horse?”
“I don’t know. They’re big.”
“I learned to ride when I was around your age.” Eden had practically grown up riding. “I think you’ll like it.”
As the afternoon wore on, Eden felt more and more at home in her old house. And as she helped the girls glue cotton balls to construction-paper sheep, Eden couldn’t help thinking she owed Ryder an apology. He’d bought the ranch and made the old farmhouse even better than it was before. Plus, because of him, the property was still being used to raise cattle. Her dad had worried that without the right buyer the ranch might cease to exist.
By coming here and seeing the house through Harper’s and Ivy’s eyes, Eden had finally gotten a sense of peace about letting go of the ranch. Her sister’s memory wasn’t being erased. Mia would always be with Eden. And the house would now hold Harper’s and Ivy’s memories in addition to hers and Mia’s.
A tiny voice in her head whispered Ryder is single. You could have it all—the house, the ranch, the family.
No. She wasn’t going down that road. She’d be nicer to Ryder and leave it at that. The stirrings and whispers inside her would disappear when summer ended. At least she hoped they would.
* * *
“Next week?” Ryder leaned back in the rickety office chair and glanced at the desk in the pole barn office while he talked to Lily on the phone. Since she rarely returned his calls and almost never picked up, he’d forced himself to take her call.
He still had to check a pregnant cow one more time before relieving Eden of her babysitting duties. The clock showed he was already late. All he wanted to do was find out how her first day of babysitting here had gone and make sure she was still willing to watch the girls here on the ranch. But no, he was going to be even later because he had to deal with Lily.
“I’m back in LA to promote my new movie, so I figured next week would be ideal to come see my sweethearts.”
He clenched his jaw. Don’t be a jerk to her. You’re better than that. “They’ll love seeing you. They’ve both been talking about you nonstop and can’t wait to show you their new rooms.”
There. He’d managed to keep his tone civil. Pleasant, even.
The long pause made him wonder if she’d heard him. Then her silky voice came through. “Perfect.”
“When do you think you’ll arrive? We have a guest room. You can stay here if you’d like.”
“I’ll have Mandy make the arrangements. Something in town will be fine.” Her voice grew muffled as she called to her personal assistant, Mandy Drake, to check flights. Ryder had spent more time talking to Mandy over the past two years than to Lily herself.
“You know there aren’t any direct flights here, right?” he asked. “You’ll have to drive in from the nearest airport, and it’s not close.”
“I’ve been to remote places on location, Ryder. I can handle it.” Her laugh was rich, and he tried to remember a time when he’d loved hearing it. He supposed it was before he realized it wasn’t genuine. She used it as a prop.
“When you nail down the details, let me know.” He tapped a pen against the desk and checked the clock again. “I’m not telling the girls unless you’re one hundred percent sure you’re coming.”
“Why wouldn’t I come?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“I don’t appreciate your tone. You act like I don’t want to visit them. I’m the one making these plans, so I don’t know why you’re being like this.”
He took a deep breath before answering. “I appreciate you making the effort. Like I said, call or text me the details after Mandy gets everything booked.”
“Will do. Oh, my publicist did mention the possibility of a guest appearance while I’m in town, though. I’m sure nothing will come of it.”
Ryder’s blood pressure climbed. He wasn’t going to say a thing. Not one thing. As soon as she’d uttered that nonchalant oh, he’d known the visit wasn’t going to happen. If the sun stood still, maybe he’d get confirmation that Mandy had booked a flight and reserved a room here in Rendezvous. But until then, he wasn’t mentioning it to the girls. Their hopes had been shattered too many times by Lily already.
“Gotta go,” Lily said. “Give the girls hugs and kisses from me.”
He didn’t respond, and the line went dead.
Leaning way back in the chair with his hands behind his head, he tried to erase the conversation. But he couldn’t, and the longer he sat there, the more his anger rose. What was the point in her calling him if she was only going to make empty promises?
Lurching to his feet, he grabbed his hat and shoved the cell phone into his pocket. Then he locked up and marched down the gravel lane to the house. In the mudroom, he pulled off his boots, hung up his coat and washed his hands. By the time he finished, his mood had improved enough to find Eden and the girls.
He made his way through the hallway leading to the kitchen.
And he stopped short. Behind the island, Eden was laughing. Both girls sat on stools, giggling as they had a sword fight with breadsticks. The aroma of garlic and spaghetti sauce filled the air. His stomach immediately began to growl.
“Well, this is more than I ever imagined coming home to.” He kissed Ivy’s cheek, then Harper’s. Then he met Eden’s eyes. “I’m real sorry I’m late. I can’t believe you made dinner. You shouldn’t have done that.”
Her brown eyes shimmered. “I wanted to.”
She wanted to? Had he entered another dimension? This was Eden, the woman who’d barely dragged herself inside his house this morning, right?
“I wanted to thank you.” She tilted her head to the side.
Thank him? For what? His cell phone rang. It was Chris.
He held up a finger. He’d forgotten to check the pregnant cow. His lungs tightened. Please, let everything be all right.
“Hey, man, I’ve got bad news.”
“Lay it on me.” Ryder retraced his steps to the mudroom.
“The pregnant red tag sixty-two?” Chris coughed.
He felt sick to his stomach. “Yeah?”
“I found her just now. The calf didn’t make it.”
It was his fault. All his fault. He’d let Lily’s call distract him, and he’d forgotten to check on the cow. Now the calf was dead.
“That’s on me, Chris. I knew I needed to check her, and I got distracted. Forgot my final round.” They discussed details a few minutes before hanging up. With his throat swollen with emotion, he returned to the kitchen.
“I’m sorry to do this, but can you give me half an hour? I…I’ve got to go.” He didn’t even wait to see Eden’s reaction. He jogged away, shoved his feet back into the boots, grabbed his coat and headed out into the cold wind.
He had to do better. This ranch was depending on him. The cows, the calves, the employees. Even the girls.
He couldn’t make another mistake like this.
He’d make it up t
o Eden somehow. But for now, he had a dead calf to deal with.
* * *
Thirty minutes later, after checking on the girls contentedly watching a cartoon in the living room, Eden put their plates in the dishwasher as she listened for Ryder. The side door had slammed moments ago, and the faucet was running in the mudroom. She hoped everything was all right. The way he’d sprinted out of there earlier had her concerned.
He entered the kitchen and didn’t meet her eyes.
“Thanks for…everything. I can take it from here.” His subdued tone set her back.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing.” But from the look on his face, something was wrong.
“You want to talk about it?”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Okay. So they were playing that game. All day she’d wanted to extend an olive branch to him about the great job he’d done remodeling the house and for taking over the ranch, but in this instant, her goodwill fled.
“Got it.” She grabbed her bag and purse and headed to the front hall. “Goodbye, girls. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The twins ran to her and hugged her.
“You promise you’ll be back tomorrow?” Ivy clutched Eden’s hand in her own. Worry darkened her eyes.
“Of course I will, silly. I have lots of fun things planned.” Eden kissed the top of her head. Then she kissed the top of Harper’s. “You two get some good sleep tonight, okay?”
They hugged her again and hurried back to the couch. Ryder stood a few feet away with his arms crossed over his chest and his shoulder leaning against the wall. She couldn’t read his face at all.
“See you tomorrow,” she said crisply and reached for the door handle.
“Eden, wait.”
She turned.
“Thank you. For staying. For dinner.” His demeanor made her think he wanted to say more, but he didn’t.
“You’re welcome.” Oddly disappointed, she opened the door and left. The wind battered her coat against her, and she braced herself all the way to her vehicle. As she let the engine warm up, she looked back at the glowing windows of the farmhouse.