by Fannie Flagg
“Well, my God … Gussie! How are you?”
“Honey, I feel like a tired old poker chip, but don’t you look smart and sassy. You haven’t changed a bit. Have a seat, gal.”
Fritz threw her bag down and joined her at the table. Gussie poured her a Coke and shoved it over.
“Well, is that son of a bitch Billy Bevins still alive?”
Fritzi laughed. “Oh, yeah, he’s still with us.”
“Well, shit, and I was hoping to hear some good news. Where is he? In jail, I hope.”
“No. He’s down in Pensacola, teaching cadets.”
“Really? Well, they must be desperate if they took that fool. You two ever get hitched?”
“No. You know Billy.”
“Yeah, I know Billy. But still together?”
Fritzi nodded. “On and off. You know Billy.”
“Well, at least you hung in there. But enough about him. What do you think about the gals getting to fly? Isn’t it great?”
“It’s terrific. Finally, they came to their senses.”
“Too bad they won’t let us go military officially, yet. Hell, if they did, them Japs and Krauts wouldn’t last a day between me and you. If nothing else, I could cuss them to death.”
Fritzi laughed. “You could for sure, but from what I heard on the bus coming in, it could be happening any day now. Are you down here training?”
Gussie shook her head sadly. “Naw … I still have my pilot’s license, but I can’t fly no more, Fritzi. I lost my nerve.”
“Oh, no.”
“Yeah, after I left the act and sobered up a little, I just couldn’t do it no more. When I got the letter, I told them I couldn’t fly, but that I wanted in on it even if it ain’t no more than sweeping out hangars or cleaning toilets, so here I am … a lot older and not one damn bit wiser, but still here.”
“I’m glad you are, pal,” said Fritzi.
“Yeah, me too. After all these years, I wound up right back where I started out. I’m slinging hash over at the mess hall, but I’m doing it for Uncle Sam and the gals, so it ain’t so bad.”
TELLING THE CHILDREN
POINT CLEAR, ALABAMA
AFTER TALKING IT OVER WITH EARLE, AND AS MUCH AS SHE WAS DREADING it, Sookie decided she really had to tell the children. They had a right to know about their genetic background. As planned, she would start with Dee Dee, and it was not going to be easy. Dee Dee was devoted to her grandmother and had always dined out on being a Simmons. Sookie was afraid that when she found out the news, she would throw a complete hysterical hissy fit. So she decided that Miss Busby’s Pink Tea Room in downtown Mobile, near Dee Dee’s office, would be the perfect place. Nobody ever raised their voices in there. At least she hoped not.
Sookie screwed her courage to the wall and called Dee Dee at work. Two days later, they were seated in a lovely little pink booth over in the corner. After they had been served their tea, Sookie said, “I haven’t been here in a long time. I forgot what a pleasant place it is.”
“Yes, Grandmother loves it here.”
“I can see why. Such lovely little watercress sandwiches. We should meet like this more often. I think it’s important that mothers and daughters stay close, don’t you? Speaking of that, I was doing a little reading, and did you know that as a rule, Polish people are good-natured, hardworking, and loyal?”
“Really?” said Dee Dee, clearly not engaged.
“Yes, I thought it was very interesting. And were you aware that Chopin and Liberace were of Polish descent?”
“Yes, I know.”
“And here’s another little fun fact. The Poles excel not only at the piano, but on the accordion as well.”
“Yes, so? Who cares, Mother?”
Sookie paused. “Well … you might.”
Dee Dee looked at her. “Mother, why are you talking about all this stuff? You’re beginning to worry me. Are you all right? You just don’t seem like yourself today.”
“Well, it’s funny you should say that, Dee Dee … because that’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. The truth is, honey, I really am not myself—or at least who I thought I was—and here’s the bad news: Unfortunately, neither are you.”
“What?”
“Oh, Dee Dee, this is so hard for me. And believe me, it was a shock to me as well, and I thought about not telling you … but you need to know, especially if you have children.”
“Mother, what are you talking about?”
“Well … a few months ago, Lenore received a letter, and naturally I read it, thinking it was a bill or something.”
“Yes?”
“Well, it was from the Texas Board of Health, and I found out that your grandmother—now promise me you won’t get upset.”
“Okay, you found out that … what?”
“That my mother—your grandmother—is not really my real mother, and when I say ‘real,’ I mean that we are not related to her … that, in fact … I was adopted.”
Dee Dee smiled. “You are kidding me. This is a joke, right?”
“No. I have the letter right here and my birth certificate. And you can read it if you want—but only if you promise not to scream and make a scene. Do you promise?”
“Okay, I promise. Let me see it.”
Dee Dee took it and read it, and her mouth dropped open. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God!”
“Honey, keep your voice down.”
“Mother, do you realize what this means?”
“Yes, among other things, it means we are not related by blood to either Uncle Baby or Aunt Lily. At least that’s some consolation.”
“No, Mother! It means that if you are not a Simmons, then I’m not a Simmons!”
“That’s true, but considering the heredity factor in—”
“But it can’t be true—I’ve always been a Simmons!”
“I know … it’s very shocking, and I’m still having a hard time believing it. But evidently, it’s true.”
“Have you told Daddy?”
“Of course.”
“What did Daddy say? Was he upset?”
“Well, he was surprised … but not upset.”
Dee Dee suddenly looked ashen. “But how can I not be a Simmons? I feel like a Simmons. I’ve always felt like a Simmons.”
“I know you have, honey, and I also know how much that has always meant to you, and that’s why I hated to tell you.”
Dee Dee continued staring at the birth certificate. “Your real name is Ginger Jurdabralinski? Like our dog, Ginger?”
“Yes.”
Dee Dee looked at her with horror, and her voice was getting louder and louder with each new discovery. “Your real mother’s name was Fritzi Willinka Jurdabralinski?”
“Evidently.”
“Your mother was Polish? Born in Pulaski, Wisconsin? Oh, my God!” After she continued to read on, Dee Dee almost yelled, “Father unknown?” Three ladies at the next table turned and looked over at them.
Oh, dear, Sookie knew Dee Dee was not going to like that part. “Honey, please … try and keep your voice down.”
Dee Dee dropped her voice level down to a whisper. “Oh, my God, Mother. That means you are a—you haven’t told anyone about this, have you?”
“No, no. You and your father are the only two people that know. And I wanted to tell you first, before I tell the other children.”
Sookie knew Dee Dee would be upset, but she had no idea how much. Dee Dee had just come completely undone, and so they left the tea room and made their way to a bar down the street. Dee Dee was on her second drink, still rattled to the bone by the news, when she said, “And Grandmother knew about this all along—and she let us all think we were real Simmonses. My God, Mother, I’m the recording secretary of the Alabama chapter of the Daughters of the Confederacy.”
“I know.”
“Why … why would she do such a thing?”
“Oh, sweetie, why does she do anything she does? Your father thinks she just wanted us to feel like
we really belonged to her.”
“What did she say when you told her you knew?”
“I haven’t told her. And Dee Dee, I’ve given a lot of thought to this, and I don’t think we can ever let her know that we know. I’m afraid it would kill her. Remember, she is eighty-eight years old.”
Dee Dee’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. “But she always said I was her favorite. Why wouldn’t she have at least told me?”
“Sweetheart, I don’t know. But I’m so sorry. I knew you would be upset.”
“Upset? I’m just thinking about staging my own death is all. My life is over. I hope you know that. Why live?”
“Oh now, sweetheart, I think you’re making too much of this. After all, we’re talking about my parents, not yours. You know who your real mother and father are. And don’t forget, you know for sure that you are half a Poole. That’s something, isn’t it?”
Dee Dee sighed. “Oh, the Pooles are all right, I guess. But what about my Simmons family coat of honor? And who are these people anyway—the Jurdabralinskis? Or however you say it. Do you know anything about them?”
“Well, a little … yes.”
“What?”
“Well, I know that they were evidently a very nice family, four girls and a boy, and two of the girls were twins, just like ours. Isn’t that funny?”
“Were they cheese farmers or what?”
“Oh, no … no, honey. The father was a very well-respected businessman.”
“What did he do?”
Sookie knew Dee Dee really wasn’t going to like this, so she soft-pedaled it for a moment. “He was in the automobile business.” She didn’t dare tell her he ran a gas station.
SHE WAS GOING TO tell the twins next, but she wanted to wait until Ce Ce had been home from her honeymoon for a while so she could tell them together.
After she told them, they were surprised, but they took it very well. Ce Ce said, “We love you, Mother. We don’t care that you are adopted, do we?”
Le Le shook her head. “No, we don’t care if we’re not really related to Grandmother.”
“No,” said Ce Ce. “We don’t care.”
“Yes, but I know how much you both love Grandmother, so I hope it won’t change how you feel about her.”
“No, not at all,” said Le Le. “She’s still our grandmother, and we will always love her.”
“But you’re our mother, Mother. You’re the one we love the most,” added Ce Ce.
“Yes,” said Le Le, “and we always wondered why you let her push you around so much.”
“You did?”
“Yes,” Le Le said.
“We did,” said Ce Ce. “She was always nice to us, but she pushed you around something awful.”
“And it made us mad, too,” said Le Le.
“It did?”
“Yes, it did,” said Ce Ce. And they both nodded in agreement.
SHE WAITED TO TELL Carter until the following weekend, when he came home from Atlanta with a guy friend of his. They were going to go deep-sea fishing with Earle and watch the Alabama game. That Sunday, a few hours before he was supposed to leave, she took him in the den and told him. After he got over his initial shock, Carter said, “Wow … Mom. From the look on your face when you said you had something you wanted to talk to me about, I thought it was really serious, like you and Dad were getting a divorce or something.” Then he looked at her with wide eyes. “Wow … so you were adopted. How about that.”
“I know it’s pretty shocking to find out after all these years that none of us are related to Grandmother. How do you feel about it?”
He sat there for a moment and then said, “Well … I think it’s really kind of great news. Now none of us have to worry about winding up over at Pleasant Hill.”
Sookie was surprised to hear him say that. “Oh, honey. I never knew that ever worried you.”
“Sure it did, Mom. You know I love old Winged Victory to death and always will … but let’s face it. She is as nutty as a fruitcake. I was always afraid that one day, you might wind up just like her.”
Sookie smiled. “Well, honey, it could still happen. And I’ll tell you, if I get any more big shocks like this one, who knows?”
“So,” said Carter, “your real mother worked at an all-girl filling station? How cool is that?” Then he grinned. “Oh, boy, I’ll bet Miss Dee Dee had a flying fit when you told her.”
“Pretty much,” said Sookie. “But you know, honey, your sister really surprised me. She seems to be coming along pretty well.”
IN THE PAST WEEKS, all her children had surprised her in some way. She found out things she never knew about them. Dee Dee even called her a few days after her meltdown at Miss Busby’s Pink Tea Room and said, “Mother, I just want you to know that no matter what your background is, I still love you.”
“Well, thank you, Dee Dee. I appreciate that.”
“After all, it’s not your fault you are not a Simmons. You can’t help it, and you must be as disappointed as I am. So if you need to talk, call me anytime, night or day. I’m here for you … and Mother, I just want you to know that I’ve taken down the Simmons coat of arms.”
“Ah … well, I know how hard that must have been for you.”
“Yes, it was. But I’ve ordered the Poole family coat of arms, and I’ll put it up as soon as it arrives.”
“Oh, how nice. I’m sure your father will be so pleased.”
“And Mother, just so you know … about your people. I’ve looked them up, and the Polish are considered to be extremely intelligent and good-looking people, so you mustn’t feel too bad about yourself, okay?”
“Okay, honey, I’ll try not to, and thanks for the information. I feel better already.”
Poor Dee Dee. At least she was trying to move on, and much faster than Sookie had expected.
AVENGER FIELD
SWEETWATER, TEXAS
Billy Boy,
Sorry I haven’t written for a while, but we left Houston and arrived at our new base in Sweetwater and have been kept busy twenty-four hours a day. This is the hottest place I have ever been. If hell is this hot, then I ain’t going. It hasn’t been under a hundred degrees since I’ve been here, and the dust storms are terrible. I have red dust in my hair, teeth, ears, and everywhere the sun doesn’t shine. I don’t know if I’ll ever be clean again. And, oh, have I mentioned the snakes and scorpions and the bugs? It’s so hot, a lot of us gals pulled our cots outside to sleep, but you never know what might crawl in bed with you. These damn snakes even try to get in the planes for a little shade … not happy about that. I make them do a good check on mine—don’t want any snake copilot.
And they don’t make it easy on us girlies. We are doing everything the army way. We train like the big boys, including calisthenics, and we march everywhere … I’m even marching in my sleep. No fun, but we do it. My new pal Willy says it’s just more proof that they will be taking us in the Army Air Corps for real pretty soon. The grub is pretty good. Had my first hominy grits. Mmmm …
Other than dodging tumbleweeds and spiders and water bugs, I’m just fine. The other girls I have met here are all swell as far as I can tell. We have six girls to a bay. I’m in with Pinks, this real cute little Jewish gal from New York. Her dad runs a big brassiere factory, and we are all sporting new undies, compliments of Mr. Pinksel. I really get a kick out of her and Bea Wallace from Oklahoma, who wears steel-toed cowboy boots and carries a .45 on her hip. What a snazzy-looking dame she is … brunette, about five foot nine with a million-dollar smile and all legs. She is the only one of us who still looks good in these god-awful overalls they gave us. None of them fit worth a damn. The crotch in mine hits me at the knees, but when she walks by, all the guys’ eyes pop out of their heads. And no, you ain’t meeting her, so stop drooling. Anyhoo, she must be loaded. She started flying so she could check out the cattle on her family’s ranch. Her dad was a great pal of Will Rogers, so we call her “Willy” just to razz her. The other three gals
in my bay are nice, but kinda not in my league: girls finishing school, rich debutante types, all college grads, one from Vassar and two from Smith, and they sorta have a snooty air about them, always talking about their la-di-da schools.
Anyhoo, the other night, when we were all sitting around chewing the fat, did I pull a good one. Willy and Pinks were in on the joke, and I casually let it drop that I was a recent graduate of the Phillips School for Young Ladies.
One of the Smith gals looked puzzled and was about to say something when Pinks piped up and said, “Oh, Phillips. Why, I heard Phillips was so exclusive it was almost impossible to get in. How did you ever manage to do it?” And I said, “Daddy did have to pull a lot of strings.” Well, that shut them up.
Boy, did the three of us have a big laugh later. Quite a feat for someone who barely made it out of high school, eh?
Fritzi
P.S. I see what you mean about cadets. We have a lot of ninety-day wonder boys flying around Texas now. They just got out of flight school and don’t have near the flight time hours that the gals do, but they still feel superior to us and like to hotdog it and show off in front of the girls, and it’s pretty damn dangerous. Some of the boys have been buzzing the gals, playing fighter pilot and trying to scare them. None of us have been given formation training, and a plane flying that close does scare them. When they complained, their CO said, “Boys will be boys, and some of them may be tempted to fly on your wing and horse around a bit with the gals, but it’s to be expected.” But after a few close calls, he ordered that they were to stay five hundred feet away from us at all times. That rule applies on the ground as well. Our barracks are off-limits to all males. Mrs. Van de Kamp is a nice local lady who acts as a house mother to all the girls here and she makes sure that law is strictly enforced!
AVENGER FIELD
SWEETWATER, TEXAS
Dear Billy,
We are training every day now. I saw my first real live Mexican and had my first tamale. Pretty good. I am sending you a ceramic sombrero ashtray and a picture of me in the flying rig. They have issued us men’s flight suits—they look more like zoot suits on us. Took your advice and made friends with the mechanics. Have a swell one by the name of Elroy Leefers who is looking out for me. I miss you, and congrats on your new commission. Guess I’ll have to salute you now.