“I’m sorry. That was stupid of me to say. Of course, lobster is expensive.”
“Not stupid at all. Mrs. Angelini is wealthy. She would buy me lobster anytime I wanted, if I asked. But I wouldn’t enjoy having it in front of her. I also try not to take advantage of her generosity. She tries to give me money for school, but I don’t feel like she should have to pay for that. I’ve always insisted on paying my own way. It makes me feel more secure, knowing I can.”
I nodded. “I’m sure most people would take advantage.”
“I don’t get too comfortable anywhere. Once you start depending on someone and they’re gone—then what? You need to be able to fend for yourself.”
My chest felt tight as I realized the deeper meaning behind her not wanting to accept help. The helpers in her life had always left her. That was what she was used to, and the reason she was so strong.
The mood soon lightened when a deluge of lobster juice shot out of Sigmund’s shell and onto his three-hundred-dollar shirt.
“Bollocks!” He shouted as he looked down at himself.
“I’m not gonna say I told you so.” Felicity laughed.
He pretended not to care, but the grumpy look on his face told me he regretted not covering up.
I spent the rest of dinner asking Felicity things I was curious about, such as what life was like at Harvard. I learned she’d been a member of the extreme Frisbee team there. She talked more about her plans to become a lawyer so she could use that opportunity to help people. She knew what she wanted and exactly how she was going to get there. I admired her desire for independence, but also realized her apparent need for no one else came from a place of self-protection.
I cringed when she turned the tables on me.
“So, enough about me,” she said. “Tell me more about your situation back home in England. What’s it like where you live?”
“The countryside is beautiful, but I escape to London a fair amount on the weekends. Before I left to come here, my days were spent shadowing my father, for the most part.”
“You went to college, right?”
Sigmund snorted, all too amused by her question. “I can see how you might have doubted that.”
She turned to him. “I didn’t mean that to be an insult. He just never mentioned it, and I didn’t want to assume.”
“Yes, I did go to university.” I glared at Sigmund. “Despite the fact that many things are handed to someone in my position, I got my master’s degree from London Business School.”
“Nice.” She tilted her head. “How many properties does your father own?”
“Too many to count, honestly.”
“Half of England is owned by less than one percent of the population,” Sigmund explained.
“God, that’s a tremendous amount of responsibility, and a lot of pressure, I’m sure.”
“It’s also why half of the eligible women in our neck of the woods try to dig their claws into him,” my cousin added.
“And here I was thinking it was just my looks,” I said, growing angrier by the second. “Thank you for the newsflash, although it wasn’t necessary.”
“Actually, I’m a little interested in knowing about all that,” Felicity said, fidgeting in her seat. “Is there a lineup of debutantes waiting in the wings for you back home or something?”
“He has to marry someone his parents deem suitable,” Sigmund offered before taking a sip of his beer.
Why the fuck would he bring this up right now?
Her expression darkened. “Like an arranged marriage?”
“No,” I clarified before my cousin could say another word. “Not an arranged marriage. I would never go for that. Ultimately, the decision is mine. But the expectation has always been that I would marry someone from a similar background.”
“What happens if you don’t?”
Sigmund chuckled. “His parents would probably disown him.”
“That’s not true,” I retorted.
He squinted. “Really?”
I knew why he was doing this. He’d been against my pursuing Felicity from the very beginning, and he was trying to derail things. Even if some of what he’d divulged was partly true, I’d hoped for a little time with her before she ran for the hills.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be tonight?” I asked him.
“No, actually. No plans at all.”
I glared at him.
After he took his plate into the kitchen, I picked up Felicity’s, and then mine. “I’ll be right back,” I told her. “Can I get you more champagne?”
She shook her head, seeming a bit unnerved by our conversation. “No, thank you.”
In the kitchen, I gritted my teeth and whispered, “Great job trying to scare her away.”
“I’m doing you a favor. How is it fair to get her hopes up when you know damn well you don’t have a future with her? Look at how she came here tonight. She’s clearly dressed to impress and not exactly playing hard to get anymore.”
“You don’t have a right to manipulate things. I planned to be honest with her about my situation. But it wasn’t your place to throw everything out there in the span of one dinner.”
Felicity appeared, entering the room holding the tray of empty clam shells. From the concerned look on her face, I could tell she’d either heard everything we’d just said or suspected we’d been arguing.
“Please sit and relax,” I said, holding my palm out. “I’ll take care of that.”
“It’s okay,” she insisted.
Together, we brought everything from the table into the kitchen in silence. After, we took turns washing our hands at the sink.
Handing her a towel, I said, “Let’s go out back for a moment, shall we?”
“Sure.”
I grabbed our champagne glasses, along with the bottle of Dom, and some strawberries from the fridge, and carried them outside.
“Are you okay?” she asked once we stepped onto the back deck.
“Sure.” I placed everything on a table. “Why do you ask?”
“You seemed uncomfortable when I was asking about your life back home, particularly when Sig took it upon himself to speak for you. Why do you seem ashamed of who you are?”
“Because it’s not who I am. Who I am has nothing to do with where I come from or the expectations placed upon me.” My tone was harsher than I’d intended.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. That was a dumb way to word it. What I meant was…you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide anything just because your life is different than the norm. Most people would be quite impressed, actually.”
“You’re not most people, though, are you? None of that impresses you in the least. In fact, if anything, it’s a deterrent in getting to know you better.”
She stayed silent, neither confirming nor denying.
I exhaled. “The dilemma of my life has always been balancing what I want with what my family wants for me. The latter typically wins.” I looked up at the starry sky. “I know I’m fortunate in many ways, but there are days when I wish I could just live a normal life, not have to take anyone else into account when it comes to my own happiness. With you today—out on that water—I was happier than I’ve been in a very long time.” I shook my head. “Sorry. You didn’t sign up to be my therapist tonight. I’m supposed to be entertaining you.”
Felicity placed her hand on her chest. “Are you kidding? Out of all the brief times we’ve spent together, this moment is my favorite. Today I feel like I’ve gotten to experience the real you. The vulnerable side. Vulnerability is…sexy.”
“Sexy, eh?” I laughed. “Should I start crying, then?”
“You don’t need to go that far.”
“Okay.” I smiled.
Our eyes locked, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her.
She shivered. “It’s chillier tonight than I thought. I should’ve brought a sweater.”
“Be right back.” I ran inside and grabbed one of my jackets.
“Thank you. That was very sweet.”
“Well…” I grinned. “I wouldn’t want you to freeze your nutsack off.”
* * *
Felicity
Track 6: “Blowing Kisses in the Wind” by Paula Abdul
I can’t believe he knows about that. “You Googled me. Congratulations.”
“The day you turned me down, I was feeling a bit low. That night, I missed looking at your face. So, yes. I went online, searched your name, and found that unexpected pot of gold.”
“That’s my one claim to fame.”
“It was hysterical.”
“Seriously, what is wrong with people? They have no lives. I mean, it was funny, but it wasn’t that funny. To get millions of hits?”
“It wasn’t just what you said. It was the freaking adorable look on your face when you realized you were on live television. It’s also the fact you’re beautiful. That’s why it went viral.”
“I don’t see myself that way,” I said. “I never have.”
“That doesn’t change the truth.”
“I feel like I look different from everyone else. I mean, there are other people with red hair and freckles all over their body. But how many do you run into on a daily basis? Very few. We’re a rare breed.”
“Precisely. You’re uniquely beautiful. But it’s not just your skin and hair that set you apart. It’s your eyes, the way they seem to pierce through everything with genuine wonder and interest. I can see the good in you just by looking into them. And you have so many features I love. Your nose has the slightest ridge in the center. Your lips and their natural red color, even when you’re not wearing lipstick. And yes, the freckles. Don’t get me started on them. They are my weakness.”
I rolled my eyes, feeling my cheeks heat. “You’re insane.”
“I’m insanely attracted to you, yes.”
His blunt admission caused my entire body to heat. I had to look down because it was too much—not just the way he was looking at me, but because I was incredibly attracted to him, too. Leo wasn’t just handsome. He was scorching hot from head to toe. The more I looked at him, the more out of control I felt. The more I wanted him to kiss me. Every time my eyes landed on his full lips, I could feel my tongue buzz with the need to taste them.
“Did what I just say make you uncomfortable?”
Adjusting his jacket around my shoulders, I said, “It’s not what you said about me. It’s how you make me feel, how attracted I am to you, too. It’s very mutual.”
His breath seemed to hitch, and before he could respond, I decided I needed more champagne.
I reached for the bottle on the table. “Do you mind if I have some more of that?”
“Let me,” he said as he poured. “Would you like a strawberry?”
“Sure.” I immediately downed half my glass.
Instead of simply handing me one, Leo took a strawberry. With a glimmer in his eye, he placed it between his lips and spoke through his teeth. “Come get it.”
Is he serious? My palms grew sweaty as I considered whether to go for it. I leaned in with a racing heart and carefully used my teeth to retrieve the strawberry. Our lips didn’t even touch, but I could feel the heat of his erratic breaths, which sent a jolt through my body.
“Holy fuck. I didn’t think you’d do it.” He licked his lips.
As I chewed the berry, I looked down and wondered if I was losing my mind. Because that? What I just did? That was not like me at all. It was freaking erotic, though. Leo was so intoxicating that he impaired my judgment. I needed to be careful, because I was setting myself up to get hurt. Mrs. Angelini thought I should let go a little. But this night didn’t feel like letting go. This felt like my feelings were becoming entangled with this man. I wasn’t sure I was capable of just enjoying the present with someone who would inevitably be leaving.
It was all I could think about, even with the summer still ahead of us.
“How long do you plan to look down at your feet and not at me?” Leo asked.
Finally meeting his eyes, I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to handle this. When I told Mrs. Angelini I had turned you down because I didn’t think it was a good idea to go out with someone who would be leaving, she suggested that I let go, not worry so much about what might happen in the future. I decided to try that tonight. But I don’t think it’s my nature. Because as you’re standing here in front of me, I’m supposed to be letting loose, and all I can think about is the fact that I’m already sad, and you haven’t even left yet.” I stared into my champagne. “I can’t get out of my own head long enough to enjoy being with you.”
“You’re level-headed and practical. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“There’s nothing wrong with it, but it makes for a very boring life.”
“You’ve graduated from Harvard, you’re a master boat captain and fisherwoman, Frisbee player, not to mention a viral superstar—that’s far from boring to me.” He grinned.
I smiled. “You like me because I’m different than what you’re used to.”
His smile faded as his stare burned through me. “I like you because you’re you. Not just how you look, but how you look at me. You see me as the person I am, not my title or social status or where I come from. But more than that, you’re as intelligent and real as you are beautiful. God, Felicity, I’ve thought about little else since I met you.” He continued to examine my face. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking about some of the things Sig was saying in there, to be honest.”
“All right.” He swallowed. “What questions do you have?”
“So…say you told your parents you met a girl this summer in Rhode Island. You really like her. What would their reaction be?”
He scratched his chin. “You want the honest answer, I assume.”
I nodded.
“They—my mother, in particular—would make my life very difficult. They want me in England, settled and focused on continuing my father’s legacy, not focused on anyone outside of the bubble they live in.”
I swallowed. “And hypothetically, if you met someone here in the States or from anywhere else, and took them home to England, that wouldn’t be acceptable to them?”
A look of pain crossed his face. “They wouldn’t be able to stop me, but they might make that person’s life miserable. And I wouldn’t subject someone I care about to all that. It wouldn’t be fair. That’s the answer. I can’t change how they are, how they act, and what their expectations are.”
Defeat washed over me. “I’m sorry if my questions are too intrusive. I mean, we’ve only been on one date…”
He smiled. “So this is a date?”
My eyes widened. “It wasn’t supposed to be?”
“I’m teasing. I wasn’t going to call it that because I didn’t want to scare you. But I certainly intended it to be a date.”
“Oh.” I looked down at my shoes.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked.
“Sure.” I looked up, straightening my posture.
“When was the last time you had a boyfriend?”
It seemed like forever. I finished the last of my champagne before setting the glass down. “My freshman year in college, I met a guy—Finn—who I dated for about a year. He ended up unable to handle the pressure of school and dropped out. He had some serious anxiety issues. And it sucked because I’d hoped I was reason enough for him to stay, but when someone has an internal struggle, there’s nothing you can do sometimes. I never took it personally because I understood it for what it was. His leaving still sucked, though. I just ended up focusing even more on school after that. My sophomore year, I joined the Frisbee team and did everything I could to convince myself it was best to be alone. That’s sort of where I still am.”
“You never dated anyone else after?”
“No. I also had one serious boyfriend in high school, b
ut we broke up before college. So, I’ve had two relationships. In the years since, I’ve gone out with guys here and there. But nothing that lasted beyond a couple of dates. Nothing that mattered, you know?”
“Nothing that mattered…” he muttered. “I can relate to that. I’ve been with my fair share of women. But I can’t say any of them mattered.” He took a few steps toward me. “I know we hardly know each other. But from the moment we met, somehow I knew you mattered to me, Felicity. Does that sound strange?”
“This whole thing has been a little strange.” I laughed as I looked up at this striking man whom I would have assumed was unattainable were it not for the fact that he clearly liked me. “Not in a bad way. Just a different sort of experience. And I’m sorry if I turned this night into something too serious. We were supposed to be having fun.”
“You’re not crazy for thinking about the future. By that, I mean my leaving. It’s not that far away. We could choose to ignore it or acknowledge it, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not here forever. So, the bottom line is, you have every right to protect your heart, just as I have no right to toy with it. Tonight, at dinner, when you were talking about how you look at everyone in your life as a temporary player…” He paused, pointing to his chest. “It hit me hard. Because I don’t want to be yet another person who comes into your life and leaves you hurt. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
My stomach was in knots. “Yeah, so this situation sort of sucks, doesn’t it?”
“I wasn’t expecting this, to find someone here I truly wanted to get to know better, spend time with. That wasn’t part of the plan.” He closed his eyes briefly. “At the same time, I wish I’d met you at the very beginning of this journey and not the last leg.”
I wanted so badly for him to lean in and kiss me. But I also hoped he didn’t. Confusion tore through my heart as a soft evening breeze sent his delicious, masculine scent toward me. I felt like this moment of silence was a crossroads, one where I decided whether I’d escape getting my heart broken or dive headfirst into the fire. Ultimately, fear won out.
The Aristocrat Page 6