by Strange, KT
There he went again, being as solid as a mountain, despite the way I knew the world had tried to tear him down just like it had done to me.
And I was more eroded, worn at the edges, out of energy to fight, then he was. I needed to rally though.
“We’re probably freaking out for nothing,” I whispered to him. He nodded, and I saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes.
I probably wasn’t pregnant. Odds weren’t likely on that one. 95% of me was grateful of that and the other 5% was… stupid. I ignored it and brushed it off.
I wanted to chase the hope I saw in him though, because he’d had enough stress put on him by me already.
I was over it.
I leaned up and kissed him slowly, relief flooding me when he kissed me back.
“You’ll tell me if anything changes?” He asked as I sank back onto my heels, and he led me out of the brush, his fingers dusting bits of leaf and cobweb from my sweater.
I huffed and smiled up at him.
“Of course.”
“Good,” he replied, glancing across the school fields with a frown. “Wait for me after school, I’ll head home with you and Shawn.”
I cocked my head to the side.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he mocked my tone and I stuck my tongue out at him. “Yeah, Trouble. I gotta keep my eye on you.” He reached down and instead of tousling my hair like I expected him to, he tucked a strand behind my ear, tenderly. My heart fluttered in my chest.
Please, I begged, let things be easy for us, for once.
He kissed me goodbye and I let him go back inside without me, needing the cool air to calm my ragged nerves.
I hitched my bag over my shoulder and turned, and stopped short.
Paige stood there, her fingers flicking the end of a cigarette, the ashes tumbling to the ground.
Smoking, on school property no less.
Her eyes met mine, hard with challenge, the lack of fucks she gave evident in her expression.
My heart dropped as she walked toward me, a swivel to her hips I only ever saw on the football field.
“Hey,” she said, lifting the cigarette to her mouth and taking a low, long drag.
“When did you start smoking?” I asked, and then regretted it. I didn’t care and didn’t want to know.
She smirked, lips pursing, and she blew a stream of smoke toward me. I rocked back on my heels, taking a step back.
“Yeah, you wouldn’t want to hurt the little bundle of joy, now would you?” she asked, her voice a soft taunt.
My vision misted at the edge.
Why. Why was she always entwined in my business, obsessed with me, determined to fuck things up for me when I just wanted to exist.
My jaw tightened.
“I think you better get a serious case of shut the fuck up,” I said, keeping my voice steady. She lifted an eyebrow and rolled her eyes.
“Oh, please—”
I didn’t even wait, my hand shooting out and I grabbed the cigarette from her. My other fingers wrapped around her wrist and I yanked her forward, palm-up. The rage lapped at my insides as I jammed the cigarette, lit end first right into her hand. She let out a shriek, her arm twisting in my grip.
“I will fuck you up,” I snarled, nearly nose to nose with her. Her shaking breaths filled my ears. She went quiet, her face bloodless and eyes wide.
I let her go and she curled her arm protectively against her chest, eyes watering.
“And don’t fucking smoke, it’s bad for you,” I curled the words in my mouth, spitting them out at her as I walked by, my insides shaking.
Holy shit.
Holy shitholyshitholyshit.
I didn’t look back as I heard her start to sob.
But I did what I had to do to keep myself safe, to keep Colt safe from her…
I flicked her cigarette in the trash can as I stepped inside.
“Mia?” My mouth dried as I looked up the stairs. My uncle stood there, frown on his face, eyes trained on the garbage where the cigarette had flown.
Oh… shit.
Chapter Seven
“It’s weird you grounded me over a cigarette that wasn’t even mine, and not the other crazy things I’ve done since coming here,” I pointed out as my uncle kept his eyes on the road.
Needless to say, Colt did not come home with me that day after my uncle caught me red-handed with a cigarette butt in hand.
I was trying not to be annoyed about it, but I thought my uncle had pounced on the one thing he could get mad at me over, something simple that didn’t have weight on it.
The cigarette was the straw on my uncle’s back. I felt like it was him just trying to keep a shorter leash on me, and I wasn’t really all that resentful about it.
He sighed and I glanced over at him, the book in my lap heavy and waiting for me to dive in once we got out onto the highway and were away from the curving roads of Hidden River that absolutely promised some serious car sickness if I dared to read on them.
“I just want to focus on seeing your mother, and seeing what’s gotten her so riled up,” he replied. I settled back into my seat and tried to suppress a sigh. He was taking personal time from work after a panicked phone call from my mom where, as he put it, she was in hysterics and barely comprehensible. So, we were going, to hopefully unravel what she was so distraught about.
“You still didn’t have to ground me. I mean, I don’t even really go anywhere.”
“Can’t a man want to spend time with his niece without a bunch of boys tramping around? I see enough of them at school,” he groused, and I hid a smile as I cracked open my book. We pulled onto the main highway. It wouldn’t be long now and I could see my mom, hopefully get some more answers from her about Mr. Barron.
I settled in, pages flipping by as the miles melted away between home and my mom…
And that’s when I realized, and my head lifted up, staring out at the highway. We were surrounded in traffic, and my uncle was slowing down, the indicator ticking away and letting everyone know we were taking a turn-off.
Hidden River was my home. Living with him was home.
I swallowed, my throat thick, and I turned my head, letting my brown hair curtain off my face so I wouldn’t have to show him that tears were suddenly dripping down my face.
God, it was really my home. Even when, if, my mom won her case and was free, I didn’t want to leave. Not the guys, not Hidden River but also, somehow… I glanced over at my uncle from between strands of my hair.
Mostly not him.
I didn’t want him out of my life as quickly as I’d merged into his. A panicky feeling was blossoming under my breast-bone, threatening to cut off my oxygen at the thought of leaving his home, our home, that we’d been building together over the last few months. I’d… talk to him about it. Later.
“That’s about it,” he said under his breath and I sat forward as we took a few turns, the busy streets feeling so… full and stressful now that I was more used to Hidden River and it’s slow-slow-gentle pace.
“This the place?” I glance over, uncertain. The house is unassuming, blue vinyl siding, and curving windows out front, shyly hiding the interior by thick lace curtains.
“Would seem it. You ready?”
I glanced back up at the house. I nodded. My legs slipped over the seat and the city air hit me, tangy with metal and heavy on the back of my tongue. My uncle was knocking on the door as I dragged up the rear behind him, cracked cement steps threatening to disintegrate under our combined weight and send up plunging to the ground.
The door swung open, and there she stood, in high-waisted jeans and a nice blouse, nicer than I’d ever seen her dressed in, her hair styled even.
I swallowed. What had happened in the weeks since she’d left?
She welcomed me with a cry and a hug, pressing kisses all over my face.
“I’m so happy you could come,” she breathed, smelling like something familiar as she pulled away, the faint scent pinging in my
memory.
“You were…” My uncle was staring at her, a mix of confusion and irritation on his face. His reaction seemed weird, but I stepped inside, a living room opening up to my left.
“So, this is it,” she said with a happy smile, gesturing to the small living space, a couch and a TV positioned across from each other. An old fireplace crawled up the wall, but the room had been freshly painted recently, and the furniture looked new.
“This is… what?” My uncle’s voice had a dangerous edge to it. My eyes wandered into the foyer, with a set of stairs that led upward to a second floor. I walked into the living room, the thick carpet plush under my feet. There was a case opening and the peek of a dining room table beyond-
I stopped short.
My heart rate soared and I made a low noise of distress.
My uncle was at my side in a second, pushing me behind him, and I heard him inhale, his great shoulders expanding.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” My mother gushed, her voice tinny in the background of my mind.
But I couldn’t even reply to her.
Mr. Barron sat at the dining room table, a set of paperwork in front of him, and another set across, a chair pulled away as if someone… my mother… pens lay scattered.
She’d been signing something.
Legal paperwork. Or something.
“What the hell is this?” Uncle Matt demanded, and Mr. Barron smiled, getting to his feet.
“Coach Quinn,” he said smoothly, offering his hand, “I haven’t been able to make any of Buck’s games, but I hear—”
My uncle turned and looked at my mother, who was wringing her hands in the entryway, a nervous smile on her face.
“Mr. Barron’s bought me this house,” she said, as if that were normal. I felt like my heart was cracking in my chest.
“We’ve sorted through our… misunderstanding,” he said, his voice like poisoned silk that wanted to warp around my mouth and choke me.
“Misunder—” Uncle Matt choked on the word and shook his head, meanwhile Buck’s dad was looking at me like I was a hot meal on a cold night, his smile widening as his eyes met mine.
“I didn’t realize that I had such a beautiful daughter. And I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you when you came over for dinner,” he murmured, taking a step toward me.
My uncle growled, and held up his hand.
“Stay right where the fuck you are,” he snarled, and I tensed, ready to bolt.
“Matt! Don’t be like that,” my mother stepped forward, a whine in her voice I’d never heard before. “He’s paying for my legal defense, hired me the best—” She breathed out a sigh and looked at him, her eyelashes fluttering. But he didn’t even meet her glance, instead stayed steady, eyes heavy on me.
“Mia, oh it’s a dream, he says you can stay here weekends, and spend weekdays with him in Hidden River,” she babbled. “It’s only right, he’s your father—”
I couldn’t. I… my knees felt weak and I grabbed onto Uncle Matt’s hand, clinging for my very life.
“That’s not going to happen,” Uncle Matt said, the warmth of his skin on mine giving me comfort. I tried to take a breath.
“Don’t be an idiot, Quinn,” Mr. Barron said, finally taking his hot gaze off of me to sneer at my uncle. “Do you really think you even stand a chance of fighting this? Who’s your lawyer? Old Piper in town? He’s half dead with lung-cancer.”
My lower lip trembled, and I looked up at my uncle, helpless, asking for some respite from this reality that I didn’t want to live through.
He was staring at my mother, though, looking like he didn’t even know who she was anymore, ignoring Mr. Barron entirely.
“Mia has a home with me,” he promised through his gritted teeth, “and that will never change. You may not have thought that through, what it means to be a parent, but I have.”
He didn’t even acknowledge Mr. Barron, who stood so near my mother I wanted to scream at him to get away.
He glanced around the room.
“Nice place. We won’t be back.”
He took me by the wrist, gently, and pulled me from the room. I followed, hiccuping back the dread of the future.
I closed my eyes, trying to forget the look on Mr. Barron’s face.
Thwarted, furious, incensed.
I knew, deep down in the shadows of my heart, he wasn’t going to take this lying down.
Chapter Eight
My uncle looked exhausted the next day, and I didn’t want to ask him what his plan was… if he was going to get legal advice, or what the situation looked like when it came to what kind of custody arrangement was going to be my future.
The thought of Mr. Barron thinking he had any kind of ownership of me… that had haunted my nightmares in what little sleep I’d gotten.
And my mom… she had basically sold me out. For a house. That made my throat sour as I brushed my teeth a full 24 hours later, and still no closer to answers. I stared at myself in the mirror and a throat cleared behind me.
Shawn appeared.
“Hey,” he said, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. “So some shit went down, huh?”
I spat into the sink and wiped my mouth.
“You could say that,” I replied, turning to look him in the face. “I don’t…”
I don’t know where I belong, I wanted to say. But I did. I was supposed to be here, with him and my uncle, and Buck, too… and maybe… one day…
One day when we all graduated, we could rent out a big house somewhere close to university. Colt probably wouldn’t go, unless he got scholarships, but I’d work my way through it…
I closed my eyes.
It was a stupid fantasy and I wasn’t sure why I was giving into it.
Because that can be your future…
Shawn didn’t wait, just wrapped me up in a big hug and kissed my cheek, pulling away after a breath.
“It’s gonna work out,” he promised. “If I can have hope, you can too. Whatever it is.”
I tried not to shake my head at him. I didn’t want him to think I was being too negative. But the thing was…
I didn’t have a lot of hope.
“You wanna come to practice?” He asked, giving me a shy smile. “Buck’ll be there.” My stomach churned.
“Not yet,” I said. “Maybe next week.” He nodded, understanding.
“You take your time, Mia.”
* * *
My time was three more days, moping around the house on a sick note, until I realized I couldn’t keep hiding out and hoping my problems would evaporate.
I walked to school that late afternoon, the sun threatening to set on me the entire time. The bright field lights were squint-inducing, and I saw the guys in their white uniforms down at the far end of the field, clustered together. The grass smelled fresh, and I hoped the clear air would help settle my sick stomach and breaking heart.
I walked past the entrance to the change rooms, about to head toward the bleachers, when an arm came out of the doorway and grabbed my arm.
With a shriek, I was pulled inside, the door slamming shut behind me. I whirled, fist cocked, and stopped short.
Reid Remington stood there, his characteristic smirk missing.
“Jesus,” I spat at him, “what the hell were you thinking?”
“It’s not like you’d have come along nicely if I asked,” he pointed out with a shrug. He was in his football uniform, but it was pristine and clean, obviously he hadn’t been on the field yet.
“You have a real problem with getting consent, huh?” I squinted at him and he remained quiet. “Don’t do that again. Or I’m going to start carrying a knife on me, and I’m not going to be responsible for messing up your face.”
His smirk peeked out, for a second.
“You think it’s sexy?”
“I said your face. Nothing about it being sexy,” I growled, and crossed my arms over my chest. “What is it?”
He huffed and then shrugged again.
<
br /> “Just checking on you…” He glanced away, gaze going distant. “That was… rough.”
Did he… actually give a fuck? The softness in his tone, so devoid of his usual psychopathic lilt, took me aback.
“I’m—” I paused as he looked at me intently. I didn’t want to lie. But what could I say about the truth? “I think she’s lying,” I said, and Reid nodded.
“Bitches will do that.”
“Don’t—” I warned him. Even after everything, she was still my mom. And I loved her. She was just so messed up and broken. The whole situation was fucked, and I didn’t know how to process it unless I separated it from my love for her.
“She’s got a rep. Even my parents know her,” he said, “not trying to drag you down, but it is what it is. Sometimes people are bad from the beginning, heh—” He jerked his thumb to his chest. “Like me. And sometimes people get changed by drugs and other trauma.”
Drugs and other trauma.
If that didn’t describe my life and hers to a fuckin’ T.
“That’s astonishingly deep of you, Reid,” I said, not able to keep the mockery out of my voice even though my heart needed this kind of conversation. It was weird but what I needed. Someone to not bullshit me. And Reid was good for that.
“Well, I have a vested interest in keeping you close enough for Cael to get his hands in your panties, and if you get committed from, I dunno, nerves, or something, that’s not gonna happen.” And there it was. Crude, asshole Reid lifting his head again and surfacing from the dark waters.
Just when I let my guard down.
I glared at him.
“Cael wouldn’t appreciate you talking about him like that,” I said, not even giving him the pleasure of showing that I was offended at the graphic imagery aimed at me.
Reid smirked again, broad and handsome, his dark brown eyes smoky as he took a step toward me.
“You think? That’s bullshit. He lives for it. He lives for me telling him all about how I’m going to hold you down for him so he can fuck all of that repressed honor out of his system and into you.”
I inhaled, a flare of… something, heat, energy, forming in my belly. I could see it… Cael’s wheat blond hair, Reid’s dark head… the two of them.