by A. D. Ellis
I snorted. “Momma would skin us alive.”
“Nah, she won’t know. We’ll use the old laptop we use for movies.” He elbowed me. “Come on.”
I shrugged. “Whatever.” I knew the basics of sex and nothing about watching a guy screw some woman on a screen seemed like entertainment to me. But I had a hard time telling Quincy no.
“How about we drink some of Pops’ moonshine?”
“You trying to get us killed?”
“Just want to do something different. Don’t plan on getting drunk, just want to taste it and want my best friend to do it with me.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. But I don’t want to be drunk tonight or sick tomorrow.”
“No worries. We’ll do three shots and that’s all. Pour it and put it away before we even take the drinks so we’re not tempted to get it out again.” Quincy bounded from the bed and headed out the door. “Come on, G, let’s be wild.”
Knowing I’d actually rather stay in bed and read, I closed the book with a sigh and followed him out the door.
Quincy led me to the basement of the house and made me hold a dusty old flashlight as he sorted through cobweb covered bottles until he found what he was looking for. He pulled it out and held it up, triumphant in his discovery.
“How do you even know that’s alcohol?” I wrinkled my nose.
Q pointed to the worn old label. Much of the writing was worn off, but I could see the word moonshine and the number 100 proof. I had no clue what that meant, but I accepted that the bottle was indeed at least alcohol.
“Hand me those cups.” Quincy gestured to the six little Dixie cups he’d had me bring to the basement. “We’ll pour it down here and then get our asses back upstairs. Less temptation.” He shivered. “Plus, this basement freaks me the fuck out.”
I laughed as I sat the six little cups on the dusty table. “Yeah, it’s creepy down here.”
“When I was little, I swore this house, or at least the basement, was haunted.” Quincy laughed as he poured about an inch of liquid into each of the cups before putting on the lid and slipping the bottle back to its original spot. “Okay, let’s go.”
We tramped up the steps and locked the basement door behind us.
By the time we were back on our bed, I didn’t care a bit about the moonshine or the porn, but I was enjoying every second of having Q back home.
Quincy took a whiff of the alcohol and shuddered. “God, that smells terrible.”
I followed suit and figured I’d likely gag trying to swallow it.
“Okay, three shots, ready?” Quincy held up one cup.
I grimaced and nodded.
We quickly drank the first and then second cups. The liquid burned badly, and I felt it go all the way down to catch fire in my stomach. For a couple seconds, I couldn’t even breathe. My guts roiled in threat of upchucking.
Quincy let out a roar. “Ahhhh, it burns! Come on, last one!”
“I can’t.” I shook my head and wiped tears from my eyes.
“Just one more!”
“No, you can do yours. But I’ll puke if I drink another.”
Quincy shrugged. “Okay, okay. I’ll probably puke too. Let’s be done.”
We crossed the hall to the bathroom and poured out the third shots before stacking the empty cups and wrapping them in toilet paper and shoving them to the bottom of the trashcan.
By the time we walked back into the bedroom, we notice that the effects of the moonshine were starting.
“My head feels funny.” I blinked a few times to clear my vision.
“Your words sound funny,” Quincy commented as he flopped down on the bed. “My face feels hot. Is your face hot?”
I burped and giggled. “My face feels weird, not hot.”
“Time for porn!” Quincy rolled over and pulled the laptop from the floor. “I hear guys on the team talking about sites all the time.” He typed in an address and waited for the site to load. “We’ll have to try different ones because you can only watch clips without a subscription.”
I snorted. “I’m sure Momma would be fine with us signing up if we told her it was educational.” I couldn’t stop laughing.
Quincy joined in. “Veeerrrry educational.”
“Are we drunk? Is this what drunk feels like? It’s not too bad.” My teeth were sort of tingly and everything was funny, but I didn’t feel too bad.
“I think this is buzzed,” Quincy corrected. “I don’t mind this feeling.”
“Yeah, but if I have to drink moonshine to get this feeling, I’ll likely never feel it again.”
“Truth.” Quincy grimaced. “Can you still feel it in your throat?”
I nodded. “It’s so bad.”
Q clicked a video clip, and we quickly shut up. By the time we’d reached the end of the various two-minute promo clips, I was hard and assumed he was too. In my slightly inebriated state, I was able to admit to myself that the men in the videos were a lot more appealing than the women.
Quincy adjusted himself quickly before clicking on another link. “Let’s see what this one is.”
And we found ourselves watching two men. Kissing. Touching. Having sex. With each other.
Everything the other videos had been missing, met me right on the screen with the gay couple.
“Holy hell,” Quincy whispered. “Did you know this kind of porn existed?”
“I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about types of porn.” I was glad the room was somewhat dark so I could palm my hard-on without calling much attention to myself.
“Do you like this?”
I shrugged in the dim darkness not wanting to give myself away with an answer.
“It’s different than the guy girl stuff. Like not bad or better, just different. The girls were pretty and stuff, but the guys seem…” he trailed off.
“More,” I choked out. “They seem more. More powerful, more equal, more—I don’t even know how to describe it—but yeah, it’s different.” My head swam. Whether from the alcohol or the hormones or the lack of blood because it was all in my dick, I didn’t know.
“Look how they touch each other.” Quincy let out a whoosh of air. “Just jackin’ each other off.”
“Mmhm,” I mumbled, trying to think of some way to answer that wouldn’t expose how fucking turned on I was.
Quincy pushed the laptop to the foot of the bed. “We should do that.” He turned to me with a goofy grin and glassy eyes.
“You’re drunk.” I pushed him and laughed when all I really wanted to do was shuck my pants and let him grab my dick.
“No, I’m slightly buzzed. Big difference.” Quincy glanced at my crotch. “Come on. We’re both turned on, so let’s see what those guys liked so much.”
I rolled my eyes. “They like it because they are getting paid to get naked and bone whoever happens to be on the set. Porn isn’t real life.”
Quincy shook his head. “No, they might be getting paid, and I’m sure porn isn’t super realistic. But there’s no doubt they liked what they were doing to each other.”
I stared at him. I wanted to feel his hand on me. I wanted to feel his hard cock in my fist. “Would you be wanting to do this if we weren’t buzzed?”
“I always want to try something new, and I always want to be with you.” Quincy shrugged. “Maybe the moonshine got me brave enough to try it.” He paused. “Wait, do you want to? I won’t force you to do anything. Never. I know I talk you into a lot of stuff, but this shit is different. Your body, your rules and all that. If you don’t want my hand on you, just say the word.”
My heart clenched. That was my Quincy, always looking out for me. “I’ll try it.”
“Say the full words. I gotta know you’re totally on board.”
“You can jack me off.” My face flushed hot. “What about you? Are you sure this isn’t just the alcohol?”
Quincy held up two fingers. “Scouts honor. You can jack me off.”
I snorted. “You were never a Scout.”
Quincy laughed and shimmied his shorts and boxer briefs down his legs. “Come on. Let’s do this.”
I lifted my hips and pushed down my shorts.
Q and I sat with our backs propped up on pillows at the head of the bed. We glanced at each other’s hard-ons and a fire could have been lit with the heat that filled my cheeks. I’d seen other dicks before. Gym class was a lesson in various body parts. But Quincy’s cock mesmerized me.
“Touch yourself,” Quincy demanded.
Without a second thought, I took myself in my hand and stroked slowly. Quincy mirrored the action. We both looked to the porn scene frozen on the screen at the foot of the bed. Q groaned a little and slid his gaze my way.
“Can I do yours?” His words were quiet and breathy.
I nodded and moved my hand.
Quincy slowly took me in his hand, hesitantly, watching my face the whole time. “This okay?”
I nodded again and watched as his strong hand fisted around my hard length and began to stroke. His hand felt amazing.
“You can touch me if you want.” Quincy had his right hand on me as he continued to stroke himself with his left.
When I reached to take his cock in my left hand, Q moved his hand away and let me grip his throbbing cock.
“This okay?” I asked as I pumped him soft and slow.
Quincy grunted. “You can be rougher.”
“You too,” I suggested.
We fell into a rhythm of pumping fists, rocking hips, and panting breaths.
“I want to watch you come. Do it on my hand,” Quincy commanded. “Are you close?”
I nodded.
“Squeeze me tighter, I’m about to explode.”
Three more strokes of my fist and Quincy shot his load all over my hand. The sight of his jizz dripping over my fingers went straight to my balls, and my cock jerked as I spilled into Q’s hand.
“Probably better clean up.” I slowly let loose of his softening dick. I grabbed a towel from the clothes basket and wiped my hand before wiping my shaft.
“Shit, better do a load of laundry. We both have spunk all over our shirts.”
I winced when I saw the cum stains on my shirt and his. “Yeah, sounds good.”
Quincy bounded from bed. “Throw me that towel and your shirt. I’ll start a load. You can shower up here, and I’ll grab the one downstairs.”
So, we weren’t going to speak of what we’d just done. Okay.
I tossed him the dirty towel and shirt before grabbing a fresh towel and heading to the bathroom. I heard the water in the laundry room start before the shower downstairs was turned on.
By the time I returned to the bedroom, Quincy had tucked himself under his blankets and rolled to his side, his back facing my side of the bed.
I drew in a deep breath.
Did he regret what we’d done?
Did I regret it? No. I had enjoyed what we’d done. But I hoped like hell it hadn’t ruined anything between us.
I didn’t really want to think about what had just happened in regards to me and another guy. But it had been great with Quincy.
However, the way he shut down afterward proved that he definitely didn’t feel about me the same way I felt about him.
The next morning, I woke when Q rolled from bed. He padded across the floor and out the door. A few moments later, I heard the dryer start. When he returned, Quincy dressed quickly and left the room again.
I got up, dressed, and followed him down the stairs.
I found him in the kitchen.
“Hey, you okay?” I started the kettle for hot water.
Quincy popped a pod into the coffee machine. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You wish we hadn’t done that?” I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms.
Quincy hung his head. “I don’t know. It felt great, right?”
I nodded.
“I guess I’m just freakin’ out that it will mess something up between us. I liked it, and I don’t regret it, but I don’t want it to push us apart.”
“Nothing can push us apart, Q.”
“Can we chalk it up to friends getting horny and experimenting? Leave it at that?” Quincy’s eyes begged as he asked his question.
“Sure, Q.” I wanted to hug him, wanted to hear him say that what we did meant more to him. But I just fixed my tea and we went about our day as normal as possible.
A week later, Quincy was gone.
3
Quincy
My dad was now back in the states for at least two years and wanted me to live with him. It meant leaving Momma, Pops, and Griffin, but I couldn’t turn it down. I was sixteen and had spent most of my life away from my dad. He was a good man, and I wanted to live with him. I lost my mom before I was even an hour old and it hurt not knowing her. My dad had taken care of me and spent as much time with me as he could, but working overseas had made that hard. Knowing he had a solid two years in the states meant we could have a good chunk of time together.
So, a week after Griffin and I lost our minds and jacked each other off, I moved to the other side of the country for Dad’s job. I missed my best friend like crazy. I also missed Momma and Pops, but I missed Griffin even more. I missed his damn dancing and makeup. I missed him crying at Disney movies. I missed sleeping next to him every night.
We kept in touch by text and the occasional phone or video call over those two years. But I had a lot going on, especially with sports, at my new school. I planned to go to college on a football scholarship, but I played any and every sport available. And Grif was working his ass off to graduate. He had a part time job along with extracurriculars, volunteerism, and school work. He was determined to go to college and get as many scholarships as possible.
The two years I was away from Griffin taught me a lot about myself. I wasn’t great at school, but I got by. I loved all things sports and excelled at football; my plans for college still involved a sports management degree. And I definitely gravitated toward guys in the attraction department. That wasn’t a new development; I had been finding myself more and more attracted to males than females since before Grif and I messed around. Finding ourselves on that gay porn site had not been an accident on my part.
I kissed a few guys and messed around a bit after leaving Momma and Pops’, but none of them felt right. It wasn’t like I should be kissing and messing around with a girl; I definitely found the guys attractive. The problem was that anything I did with guys always made me think of Griffin. I wanted to go back to that night in our room. I wanted to kiss him, taste him, and tell him it all meant more than just messing around. But did Griffin see me as more than a best friend and brother?
“You ready for graduation?” I asked one night while we video chatted. I was supposed to be doing homework, but I had taken a break to play video games. Dad was in his downstairs office. We’d had our usual dinner together before he went back to his work. If we weren’t at one of my games, Dad and I always made sure to spend some time together on evenings and weekends.
Griffin was actually doing homework because that’s what he did, what he was good at. He groaned. “So ready. This is my last big project and then I should be done.” He had books spread out on the bed—our bed, a pencil in hand and one behind his ear.
“What are you working on?”
“It’s a final project for my business math class. If I can get a good grade, I can skip the lower level one in college and go straight into the higher class.”
“You got it. You’ve always been good at all the school stuff.”
“Thanks. It’s been fun because the project has me thinking about all the shit I want to do with my own business. You know, the hair and makeup and all of that.”
Griffin had known he would go into cosmetology school whether or not he went to college since we first started talking about college. But if it all worked out the way he now planned, he’d be doing cosmetology school along with a business degree.
“Everything coming
through the way you need it to as far as college and aid and scholarships?” I hated that Griffin had to worry so much about getting into college when my dad easily paid for anything my football scholarship didn’t cover.
“Yes, it all seems to be working out.” Griffin bit his lip while he spoke, most of his attention on his homework.
“Just like we planned.” I finished the world before pausing my game. “You been going out with anyone?” Subtlety wasn’t my strong suit.
Griffin dropped his pencil and looked directly at the screen. “Huh?”
“You work all the time. Homework, school, part time job, helping Momma and Pops. You need to go out and have fun.”
“I don’t really have a lot of time.”
“That’s the point.”
“I’ve gone out with a few groups from school. Coffee once. A movie. One time we all went to a party but it was completely lame. I called Pops to come get me. Parties are not my scene.”
“You dating anyone?”
Griffin scoffed. “No, not a lot of time for romance, ya know? I thought about trying to be more adventurous this summer, but I’m going to be working full time trying to save up money for school. So, I think I’ll just continue being the scrawny introvert who enjoys a good book, a great palette of eyeshadow, and a moving Disney movie.”
“I think I’m gay,” I blurted.
Griffin stared at the screen for so long I feared our connection had frozen.
“Grif?”
“I’m here. I’m just…” Griffin mumbled. “You think you’re gay?”
“Okay, I know I’m gay. I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I don’t want you to think differently about me.”
Griffin laughed. “No worries, promise.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, because I’m gay too. I’ve known for a while. Just wasn’t sure how to bring it up either.” Griffin stared at me.
I swallowed hard. I wasn’t surprised that Griffin was gay, I guess I’d always sort of known. Was it the right time to tell G that I wanted more with him? Would he be on the same page?
“But I promise, Q, us being gay will do nothing to our friendship. I swear. We can stay best friends and brothers. I won’t let this interfere in what we have. Like, I’m not even dating or messing around. I barely even know any other gay guys around here. But you and I are good, always.” Griffin’s gaze bore into the screen. “What we have is so important to me. I can’t lose my brother and best friend. We’ll be fine, right?”