by Ruby Dixon
He chuckles, tracing the length of my spine with a fingertip. “My mother has always been very devoted. She did not resonate for many years, you know, and expected to go all her life with only a pleasure-mate. And then when she was older, she resonated to a male twenty-seven turns younger.”
I think of Borran’s lined face. He must not have been young himself when they resonated. “And so she buries everyone in dried food?” I ask, amused.
“She did not expect to have one kit, much less four, so yes, she buries us in affection.” He chuckles. “I hope it will not bother you too much.”
“Not at all.” From what I can tell of Kemli so far, she’s loving and fussy, but Farli is independent, so I don’t think she will be smothering. “It’ll be nice to have family again.”
“You are home,” he says simply, and holds me tighter against him, his arms around me.
I am. The realization is an odd one. After Maman died, I felt rootless and lonely, and like there was no safe spot for me anymore. I drifted from Paris to the States, visiting friends and looking for connections and finding nothing. Perhaps that is why I have never truly felt unsettled at finding myself on this cold planet full of aliens. Home is not a place, it is a family, and now I have Zennek, so my heart is complete.
I feel…utterly complete. Happy. Content. And it has only been days since I arrived.
“How long does it take to fall in love, do you think?” I ask him, curious. “Do you think it is too early to be in love?”
“In love?” He considers the words. “My people do not have a saying quite like that one. I understand the meaning, but it is not the same for us. Resonance chooses, we do not, but we show our devotion to each other in action and deed. And we have heart affections.” He squeezes me against him. “You have my heart, Mar-lenn.”
It makes sense. They do not declare things and expect them to be believed. They show the person they care for how they feel every day. “You have my heart too, Zennek.” I press a kiss to his chest. “And you are my home.”
“Always.”
15
ZENNEK
Current Day
“Papa, my hair is in my eyes,” Zalene says as she scampers at my side. “Fix it for me?”
“Viens,” I tell her, slipping into the French tongue that my family uses when we are alone together. I know it makes my pretty mate happy to hear her words on my lips, and Zalene picks up little bits here and there, but she is not as fluent as we are. Mar-lenn and I have talked of taking her to the Elders’ cave and seeing if the language can be given to her, but ever since the great earth-shake, the ma-sheens cannot be trusted. I would rather have my daughter safe.
She trots to my side, her tiny spear in her hand, and stands impatiently as I pull her silky mane back into its tiny tail. Zalene’s mane is the color of mine but soft and slippery like Mar-lenn’s and it falls out of the ties often when we go hunting. I fix the tail below her ear again and then release my daughter, and she races ahead of me toward the farthest of our traps. I smile as I move behind her, watching carefully. She is getting older now, my little one, and she is about the age that I was when I began to set my first traps with my brother Salukh watching over me. I have been letting her take the lead more and more, even though in my heart she still is the tiny creature with no teeth and a hand that curled around my finger when she was first born.
“Over here, Papa,” Zalene bellows at me. “Come on! It’s still alive!”
I jog to catch up, and see that the fat hopper in the trap struggles against its trapped leg, thrashing in place. Sometimes we arrive on the kills frozen in the trap, or sometimes they end up breaking their own necks. This one is alert, though, its leg gravely wounded. My daughter stands over it with her little spear and looks at me with impatience.
I crouch at her side and decide I will let her lead. “What will you do with it?” I ask, genuinely curious. Mar-lenn is not a huntress. She prefers to focus on her sewing and taking care of my parents, who have seemingly aged overnight. Some of the kits have been taking creatures in as pets, which is a human affection that has grown since my sister Farli took in her dvisti Chahm-pee. I still do not understand it myself—animals are food—and I wonder which way my Zalene will fall.
She leans over, studying the hopper as it writhes. “It is in great pain, Papa. It won’t be able to use that leg anymore, and that means some other predator is just going to come along and eat him up. We should put him down and thank him for the gift of his meat and fur.”
I smile at her. “Spoken like a brave, wise huntress. Do you wish to do it?”
Zalene looks at the animal, her little spear in hand, and then looks up at me. “Can you do it, Papa?”
It seems she is still my little one. I hug her close. “Of course. Watch closely so you can know how to take care of an animal painlessly when you are ready.”
My daughter and I are so intent on our kill that the time passes without notice. I show her how to cut the throat cleanly, and then how to let the blood run out so it does not clot inside and ruin the taste of the meat. We set the trap up again, and then Zalene does the skinning while I watch and instruct.
When the first icy blast of snow hits my face, I am surprised at the bitterness of it. I look up in surprise, and the skies are dark and angry. A bitter wind blows in, and I realize that a furious brutal season snowstorm is about to take over us…and I am out here alone with my daughter.
She shivers as she scrapes the hide, busy at work, and I consider our options. We are a good afternoon’s walk away from returning to the caves, at the farthest end of our spread-out trapping trail. There is no way we will return to the village in time to seek shelter. My Mar-lenn is going to be very worried when we do not return home this night. “Roll that up, little one,” I tell Zalene. “A storm is coming in and we must seek shelter. Do you remember where the closest hunter cave is?”
My daughter does as I ask, but she is slow and unhurried as only a kit can be, and I end up taking it from her hands and finishing the job quickly, then get to my feet. I take her hand and pull her along with me. Instructing can wait. Already the storm blows in thick, ripping at our leathers and making each breath burn in my lungs. Storms are not unexpected in the brutal season, but I did not pay enough attention to the skies, focused instead on teaching my daughter.
By the time we make it to the closest hunter cave, I am carrying Zalene and the snow is so thick that I cannot see farther than a few paces ahead. It is only my familiarity with this area that ensures I do not get lost, and I breathe a sigh of relief as I set her down at the snow-filled entrance to the cave. “Let us push the snow out the entrance and then put the screen up, yes?” I tell her, my voice calm. I have been out in many storms before, but never with my young daughter.
“Can we do story spinning while we work, Papa? And play games? I spy and tic tac toe?”
“Of course.” Anything to keep her occupied, because we might be here a while. I move toward the fire pit and get started.
16
MARLENE
I yawn, slowly waking up. I must have fallen asleep, because the coals in the fire are dead, and the hut is chilly inside. Shivering, I pull out my firemaking tools and get to work, sparking a flame and then adding tinder until it makes a small fire. I add fuel, and then when it looks as if it’ll last for a while, I relax back. It’s very quiet today…wait, no.
There’s a dull roar in the distance that’s so constant it drowns out all the regular village sounds. Curious, I wrap a fur around my shoulders and head out of the front of my hut.
Snow immediately dumps on my head.
Sputtering, I swipe it off of my face and turn around. The tent-like roof of my house is covered in a thick layer of snow that’s fallen from the lip of the gorge above. As I watch, more of it falls in clumps, overflowing the ledge up above. I step aside, surprised. Because of the way the canyon’s protective lip is situated, we very rarely ever get snowfall down here. It must be storming hard above.
The sliver of sky that I can see is a dark, angry gray and the roaring is the wind of what must be a blizzard.
I shiver to myself, thinking of the bad signs from earlier. Tell me all is well, Maman.
I return inside to my hut and bundle up, putting on my overwraps and gloves. Once I’m bundled up, I head out of the village and toward the pulley to wait for my mate and kit to come in from their hunt. They will be cold and my little Zalene will be needing her mama. Another woman is waiting at the pulley, one with blonde curls and impressive height.
“Salut, Kate,” I say, keeping a cheery note in my voice. “Is Harrec out on the hunt?”
There’s a ferocious, kittenish growl and then Kate’s kitten comes bounding out of the snow, all white fluff and teeth. The thing’s only a few weeks old and already bigger than a dog, which worries me a little around the children, but she reassures me she’s got him under control. Kate kneels down and puts her hands out, and the cat drops a slobber-covered object at her feet, steaming. It’s a stuffed bird made out of leather, complete with flappy wings. She picks it up, shakes it, and then throws it once more and the kitten goes racing away with another growl. Kate grins at me. “Puff’s learning to play fetch. He’s so smart.”
I chuckle, moving to her side. “Don’t let Zalene see that cat has learned such a thing or she’ll want one.” I glance at the pulley, trying not to let my concern show. “Has anyone come in recently?”
Kate sighs. “No, and this weather has me worried. I was supposed to go with Harrec earlier, but morning sickness hit pretty hard and I stayed in. Now I wish I’d gone out with him, because at least we’d be together.” She chews on her lip. “How do you handle it when Zennek’s gone for days on end?”
“Poorly,” I admit. “But sometimes it is easier than others.” Today, it is not easy at all because my little Zalene is out with my mate. It is like my heart is coming out of my chest with how anxious I feel. Just Zennek alone would make me antsy, but both of the people I love most in the world? I won’t be able to relax until they’re home again.
Kate laughs, and then makes a sound of disgust. “Ah, crap, I think I stepped in something.”
The back of my neck prickles. “Which foot?”
“Huh?”
I shrug, indicating the answer doesn’t matter all that much, but I can scarcely breathe as she lifts her right foot and scowls at the bottom of her leather boot.
Right foot. Again.
Le chat, I remind myself. He is big and he will leave big droppings. It is not anything to be worried over. I say nothing as Summer and Claire approach, wrapped up in their furs, and then the three women chat idly while Kate plays fetch with her cat. I stare at the pulley, silently wishing for my mate and daughter to return so I can breathe.
Ereven returns first, and Claire peels off from the group. Then Warrek comes down the pulley with a fresh kill, his long hair frosted with ice. He gives Summer a quiet smile even as his mate begins a one-sided conversation.
Then it is just me and Kate again. The storm rages overhead, and Kate is as silent as I am. When the pulley moves again, we both look up. Harrec jumps the last few feet, then tumbles to the ground and lies flat at Kate’s feet, acting as if he’s fallen.
She gives a wry snort-giggle. “Get up. You’re the worst actor ever.”
“I could be terribly injured,” he protests, but he’s grinning.
“Is that so?” Kate immediately tosses the steaming, wet leather bird onto his chest, and the cat pounces. Harrec groans, and then he wrestles with the cat while Kate leans over them. “Don’t let him win this time,” she advises her mate.
“Let him win? I do not let him anything,” Harrec manages, panting as he wrestles the cat into a hold. Mr. Fluffypuff’s eyes are bright and his tail flicking with excitement as Harrec holds him, locked against his chest. Then, it licks his face, making the hunter sputter and Kate giggle.
“He won this round,” she tells Harrec, offering him a hand. “Again.”
“I shall win the next one,” Harrec says, setting the cat down. He takes Kate’s hand and lets her help him up. He bounces to his feet, still full of energy, and shakes the snow loose from his clothes and hair. “Hard snow above. Hardest one I have seen in many turns.”
Kate’s smile becomes a little forced and she looks over at me, elbowing her mate.
Harrec gives me a sheepish grin. “I did not see Zennek, but I am sure he is fine. He is an excellent hunter.”
I smile at him, hugging my furs to my chest. “Oui, I am not worried,” I lie. I am terribly worried. “But thank you for letting me know.”
“Do you want me to go and look for them?” Harrec asks. “I can put on warmer clothes and go back out, see if I can follow the trails before they get completely covered.”
I consider it for a moment, but I know just as well as Harrec does that this weather is not safe for anyone to be out in. It will be impossible to see before long, and I can feel the temperature dropping by the minute. “Non, merci. You go home with your mate and your kit.” I gesture at the cat, who’s chewing on the leg of his boot.
“Are you sure?” Kate asks, but she holds onto Harrec’s arm.
“Everything will be covered in snow before long,” I tell them. “You could walk side by side and not see each other. I will wait. Zennek and Zalene will be home soon.”
“Zalene is out there too?” Harrec rubs his jaw and turns back to the pulley. He looks at his mate, and then shakes his head. “Let me get a heavy cloak and I will go back up.”
My heart clenches. “Are you sure?”
“It will be dark soon,” Harrec says, his normally laughing manner gone. “If he is carrying a large kill and has Zalene with him, he might be moving slowly…if he is out there at all. I will do what I can. Give me but a moment.” He pulls Kate close and kisses her, then races toward the village, the cat scampering at his heels.
“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Kate says again. “I’ll wait here with you, though.”
“It’s cold,” I tell her. “It’s not necessary.”
“Nonsense,” she says with a smile, and then proceeds to keep up a one-sided conversation about pregnancy and morning sickness and the advice Georgie and Maylak have been giving her. Harrec races past, this time heavily bundled, kisses his mate again, and then goes back up the pulley while Kate tosses the bird to distract the cat once more. I only half listen to Kate, my gaze focused on the lift as I hope against hope that I’m going to see a pair of familiar, beloved faces on it next.
The lift thumps back to the ground a very short time later, and Harrec shakes himself off, completely covered in snow and his cloak iced up. “The weather is too bad to go out,” he says, an apologetic look on his face. “I did not get far before I turned around. They are probably sitting warm in a hunter cave waiting for the snow to stop.”
“Bien sûr. A hunter cave.” I nod. “That must be it.”
Harrec glances at Kate.
She shrugs her own cloak off and hands it to her mate, but he immediately tosses it back on her shoulders again, bundling her up. “Do you want to come have dinner with us, Marlene? I’m sure they’ll be back in the morning.”
I shake my head. “You go. I’ll wait a bit longer just in case.” When they look uncertain, I force myself to smile and make a shooing motion. “Go. Feed your furry child.” I gesture at Mr. Fluffypuff, who is even now trying to gnaw Harrec’s boot off of his foot. “Enjoy your evening. Like you said, they will be back very soon. I’ll stay here just a bit longer and then go see Kemli and Borran.”
They look reluctant to leave my side, but when Kate’s teeth begin to chatter, Harrec frowns at his mate and escorts her to the village. I pull my furs tighter around me and stare up at the edge of the canyon, waiting. It’s cold. Very cold. Each breath hurts to take, and I shield my mouth so the air is warmer by the time it goes into my lungs. I wait until the night falls, and it’s so dark outside that I can barely see the hand in front of my face, and I feel as if I
’ll turn into a block of ice.
My mate is out there in this. My baby.
I know I can’t stay out in this weather, though. It’s too cold and I am no sa-khui…and even the sa-khui aren’t out in this. I have to go inside. I trudge back to the village, numb with worry. I don’t head back to my own hut, though, because it’s empty. I think about going to visit Ariana, to pour my worry out on my friend’s shoulder, but her new baby is crying. I head instead to Kemli and Borran’s hut and scratch at the privacy screen with frozen fingers.
“Come inside,” Borran calls.
“It’s me,” I tell them as I enter, shaking off my furs. My fingers tingle the moment I step into the warmth of the hut, and my feet feel like blocks of ice. My face hurts from the cold. “Zennek and Zalene haven’t come home yet,” I say bluntly. “May I sit with you for a while?”
Kemli gets up from her spot by the fire and clucks over me. “You are not the type to worry, my daughter. It is just a bad storm. Come and have some tea.”
I sit next to Vadren, and by their fire, I feel a little silly. They don’t look worried in the slightest. “Zalene is with him, though.”
“She is a smart one, little Zalene,” Kemli says, pulling out her herb pouch and heading for the fire. “Reminds me of my sweet Farli.”
I smile at that, though Zalene doesn’t look like Farli much at all. Farli was all elbows and knees when I met her, and developed into a willowy woman. My daughter is stout and sturdy, but I wouldn’t change a thing on her. “My little cocotte is young to be hunting though.”
“Her father is with her,” Borran says, and Vadren nods. “He has been out in worse weather.”
They nod, and I watch as Kemli mixes tea leaves with the hot water bubbling over the fire. “I just…I have seen bad omens today.”
“Bad omens?” Kemli echoes.
I have never admitted to Zennek’s parents that I look for signs from my mother, and that the lack of them today is troubling me. “Oui. My people think certain things are bad luck, and I have seen a lot of bad luck today.” I hesitate, then add, “Normally I see signs of…good luck. And today there are none.”