Mitch was holding her gaze. ‘I’ll be there for you, Jenna,’ he said softly. ‘Anytime. Don’t ever forget that, will you?’
Oh, man...that squeezy feeling around her heart had suddenly made it impossible to take a new breath. This was it, wasn’t it? The thing that had been missing from her life. It hadn’t been simply about the lack of physical touch and closeness, it was this—having someone who cared enough to make a commitment to be there. To share even a part of her life for the foreseeable future and then some. Jenna remembered that moment in the motorway service area when she’d been watching that young couple and their children and she’d compared Mitch to Stefan.
She’d thought the light had gone out of her world when she’d lost Stefan and that Mitch was quieter and more mature and...maybe less exciting? But he had brought a different kind of light into her life, hadn’t he? Maybe not fireworks, but a steady, comforting light that gave warmth as well. She had to close her eyes for a heartbeat with that realisation and find that new breath because it felt, absurdly, as if she wanted to cry. And Mitch had obviously noticed.
‘Tired?’
‘I wouldn’t say “no” to a coffee, that’s for sure.’ Jenna made sure her tone was upbeat. ‘Have we even had a break since our lunch got cut to less than ten minutes?’
‘Don’t think so.’
Jenna picked up the radio handset and called in their availability. She also told her friend, Adam, in the control centre that she was suffering from caffeine withdrawal. He laughed.
‘No promises, Jenna, but go and get your coffee fix. I’ll keep you on standby as long as possible.’
There was a coffee shop well positioned to take advantage of hospital staff patronage so it was only minutes until they were sitting back in their vehicle with paper cups of delicious coffee and some homemade blueberry muffins. Even if this break only lasted a few minutes, she was going to make the most of it. The warmth of Mitch confirming how important their friendship was had added yet another layer to the connection they’d forged since they’d first met each other and that was helping to make up for any disappointment about this evening.
‘So you’re going to go and pick up your dad and Ollie straight after our shift?’ Jenna managed to sound perfectly cheerful as she spoke around a mouthful of muffin. ‘Is that early enough? If we get back to station soon, I’m happy to take any last call solo. What time does the zoo visit end?’
‘The others are all heading back to the train station at four p.m.’ Mitch looked at his watch. ‘So that’s only half an hour away, but Dad said he and Ollie would go and get an ice cream somewhere and wait for me. Or they might go and feed the squirrels in Regent’s Park. It’s no problem. We haven’t booked anywhere special for dinner, we’re just going to find a place we like the look of.’
And then Mitch would be driving his family home. Away from London. Away from her. Okay...maybe that disappointment hadn’t been entirely made up for. It was normally easy not to even think about being in bed with Mitch while they were on duty, or even having a bit of a break from being on active duty like they were at the moment, but right now, it was filling Jenna’s mind and the pull towards touching Mitch became suddenly overwhelming so it was just as well she had her hands full of coffee and muffin. They shouldn’t even touch, let alone kiss each other when they were in the rapid response vehicle but there was nothing to stop them sharing a glance.
A long glance that could say such a lot. Mitch could let her know that he was going to miss their time together later just as much as she was. Then he cleared his throat.
‘What would you say if I suggested we went away sometime? Just for a weekend break. Somewhere...nice...’
Somewhere nice? Was that a euphemism for somewhere ‘romantic’? Jenna took a slow sip of her coffee as she thought about that. Would she want it to be? Judging from the way her heart rate suddenly picked up, the answer to that question seemed to be affirmative.
‘You mean, like Paris?’
Mitch made a face. ‘Maybe not Paris. I proposed to Tegan there, on top of the Eiffel tower. How ’bout... Barcelona?’
Jenna shook her head. ‘Stefan and I went there on our Spanish honeymoon.’
The wry smile they shared was acknowledging more than crossing potential weekend destinations off a shortlist. It was also about understanding how important the memories were of the people they’d loved enough to marry. That they would always be a part of their lives and...maybe that, because this was a friendship with no expectations on either side, it wasn’t a threat to those memories. They didn’t have to feel disloyal. Maybe, Jenna needed to dismiss that idea about time away being romantic so she didn’t undermine that trust.
She dropped the rest of her muffin into her empty coffee cup. She started the engine but didn’t immediately pick up the radio microphone to call in their availability. She didn’t pull out into the traffic, either. She felt like she was holding her breath to hear what Mitch was going to say next.
‘I think we need to find somewhere just for us. Somewhere neither of us has ever been.’ Mitch finished his coffee. ‘Can’t be too far away, though. I’m quite confident that Ollie and Dad would be delighted to have their first weekend alone together but that wouldn’t give us enough time to get to the Antarctic. Or the middle of Africa.’
‘I’ve always wanted to go to one of the Greek islands,’ Jenna said. ‘Like Mykonos. The pictures always make it look like paradise. White buildings and blue, blue sea and sky, fishing boats and pelicans and a taverna right on the beach.’
Oh... Dear Lord, how romantic would that be? And why wasn’t that thought being shut down as quickly and completely as she knew it should be?
‘Let’s do it,’ Mitch said softly. ‘Just for a day or two. Just us...’
And there they were again, looking at each other and saying things silently and...the pull was irresistible. Jenna had to lean closer and it seemed like the magnetism was working on both sides because Mitch leaned towards her at exactly the same time. It wasn’t a real kiss—that would have been utterly unprofessional—but the brief butterfly brush of their lips was just as powerful.
It reminded Jenna of their very first kiss in her kitchen that evening, after Mitch’s FRAME course had finished. For ever ago. If she’d known that she would be sitting here a few months later with butterflies of excitement in her belly at the thought of a romantic weekend away with Mitch, she would have run as far and as fast as possible away from him that night. How on earth had the idea of their friendship growing into something more not only become acceptable but something she actually wanted?
She remembered this kind of feeling. Those butterfly tendrils of sensation that were excitement and yearning and desire all tumbling together.
It was the feeling of falling in love, that’s what it was.
And even that realisation wasn’t enough to scare her as much as she might have expected. Because part of her wanted to fall in love. To feel that astonishing kind of magic again. She had to turn away swiftly enough that Mitch didn’t see even a hint of that flash of thoughts. It wasn’t as if she was sure about it herself, anyway. And it certainly wasn’t part of their agreement. If Mitch knew, it might spell the end of their friendship and Jenna didn’t want that to happen. She really didn’t want that to happen. And yet, in that nanosecond before she’d broken the gaze they were sharing after that almost kiss, she could almost swear that she could see a reflection of her own thoughts in Mitch’s eyes.
And that thought was too much to take in just yet. Reaching for the radio microphone, Jenna turned up the volume of background radio transmissions as well, as if it could distract them both from whatever disconcerting potential change in their friendship that might be happening.
Not that Mitch was showing any signs of being disconcerted. Or scared off.
‘It sounds like a plan,’ he said. ‘I reckon we both deserve a bit of a b
reak and how nice would it be to sit on a beach and soak up some sun? Let’s talk about it again next Friday. In the meantime, why don’t you come with us tonight? For dinner?’
‘I can’t crash your special family dinner.’
The beeping from the radio was a city ambulance responding to a call.
‘Roger that. ETA five minutes for London Zoo.’
The mention of the zoo did more than catch the attention of both Mitch and Jenna. She reached to turn up the volume even more. Mitch froze.
Beep... Beep... ‘Any further patient details?’
‘Coming through on your pagers. Sixty-eight-year-old man with severe chest pain and shortness of breath. He’s just inside the front gates.’
Mitch had gone pale. ‘Dad’s sixty-eight,’ he said.
Jenna pushed the ‘talk’ button on the side of her microphone. By chance, she was connected to Adam again.
‘Rapid Response One available. I’d like to respond to that cardiac call to London Zoo as back-up. My crew partner’s father is there at the moment. Same age.’
‘Understood,’ Adam said briskly. ‘Logging you in.’
The call came through on their radio only seconds later. ‘Control to Rapid Response One. Code Blue, please, to London Zoo. Chest pain.’
‘Rapid Response One to Control. Roger that. On our way.’ Jenna hit the switch to start the beacons flashing on the roof. She also activated the siren. She kept her gaze firmly on the heavy traffic around them as she pushed her way through. She didn’t want to look at Mitch because she knew she’d see the fear in his eyes.
It was not just a day for a run of cardiac calls.
It was, apparently, a day for feelings that Jenna hadn’t experienced in a very long time. A rollercoaster of emotions, in fact.
The warmth of feeling that close connection to someone.
Disappointment that they wouldn’t get that special time together.
The flicker of the kind of intensity that only came from falling in love.
And...now the fear. Of the kind of loss that only came from losing a loved one.
Jenna didn’t want Mitch to have to go through that again. Surely life could never be that unfair?
She pushed her foot down on the accelerator as they hit a clearer stretch of road. She knew only too well that there were no guarantees of life ever being fair. She also knew that there was only one reason why she was feeling this so intensely.
It was because she cared so much about how this might affect Mitch.
Because she cared so much about him.
This was love. Maybe not the bells and whistles that went with the ‘falling in love’ process and all the romantic gestures but this was real.
As real as it got...
CHAPTER NINE
‘IT’S NOTHING. I don’t know why everyone’s making such a fuss.’
‘Chest pain is never something to ignore, Mr Mitchell.’
The senior ambulance paramedic was sticking ECG electrodes in place on Mitch’s father’s chest as he and Jenna stood to one side, having arrived a minute or two later than the ambulance crew. He still looked pale, Jenna thought, and Ollie, who was in his father’s arms, looked even more worried. His dark eyes looked enormous in that small, pale face and he had a flop of soft hair hanging over his forehead that made her want to reach out and smooth it back before it got too close to his eyes. She didn’t, however. She, like Mitch, was waiting anxiously to see what might be revealed on the twelve lead ECG that was about to be recorded.
‘Call me Mike. Please.’
‘Sure. Do you have any other problems with your health that we should know about, Mike?’
‘Other problems? You mean a bit of indigestion isn’t enough?’ Michael Mitchell’s wry smile faded as he realised his attempt at humour had fallen flat. He shook his head. ‘My GP, here, can tell you anything you want to know.’
‘He’s treated for high cholesterol and hypertension,’ Mitch said. ‘Blood pressure’s well controlled, though...’ He glanced at the reading on the life pack beside where the lines of the ECG were showing. ‘It’s a bit higher than usual at the moment.’
Jenna could hear the layer of anxiety beneath the calm words. Never mind brushing Ollie’s hair out of his eyes. She found herself shifting a little closer to Mitch and had to fight the urge to touch his hand with her own. To let her fingers curl around his in the hope of offering support. To let him know he wasn’t alone.
‘Are you surprised?’ His father asked, irritably. ‘I didn’t want anybody calling an ambulance. I’m wasting everybody’s time. If I hadn’t told the teachers to get going, the whole school would have missed their train back to Allensbury.’
‘You’re not wasting anybody’s time,’ the paramedic assured him. ‘We’d much rather get called and find there’s nothing wrong than not be called when there is.’
But Michael didn’t seem to be listening. He made a sound that could have been a stifled groan and rubbed at the centre of his chest.
‘How bad is that pain, sir?’ the paramedic asked. ‘On a scale of zero to ten with zero being no pain and ten the worst you can imagine?’
Michael shrugged. ‘About a four.’
‘Translate that as being at least six,’ Mitch said. ‘He’s not one to complain about anything. I’d make it an eight, actually, judging by how green around the gills he’s looking. Is the pain just in the centre of your chest, Dad?’
‘Where’s he green?’ Ollie asked. His question was a frightened whisper but Jenna could hear it as clearly as if he was in her own arms, rather than Mitch’s. ‘I can’t see...’
‘It’s just an expression, sweetheart,’ Jenna whispered, seeing that Mitch’s attention was firmly on his father. ‘He’s not really green.’
‘It does kind of go through to my back,’ Michael admitted.
‘What’s the matter with Grandpa?’ Ollie sounded on the verge of tears now.
Mitch shifted Ollie in his arms so that they could see each other’s faces. ‘Grandpa’s not feeling well,’ he said gently. ‘He’s got a sore bit. Like that sore tummy you had a while ago, remember?’
Ollie nodded. ‘I was sick. And then I felt better. You said I had a bug. A round bug.’
Jenna found herself smiling. ‘A “round” bug? How did Daddy know what shape it was?’
Mitch caught her gaze and she could see a gleam of amusement amidst the anxiety. ‘I suspect I said that Ollie had a bug that was going around.’
Ollie nodded again. ‘Maybe Grandpa has a round bug, too.’
‘It’s just a bit of indigestion, lovey,’ Michael told him. ‘I expect I ate too many of those bacon sarnies for lunch.’
Both Jenna and Mitch stepped closer to the paramedics as the ECG trace was printed.
‘Can’t see too much to worry about there,’ the paramedic said.
‘No.’ Mitch caught Jenna’s gaze as if her opinion mattered as well. She liked that. It was like when they worked together as a team and he always made her feel like an equal partner.
‘How’s the pain?’ she asked Michael.
‘Getting better by the minute,’ he told her. But when he moved, his face made it very obvious that he was playing it down.
‘We’ll give you something for that pain.’ The paramedic reached for his kit. ‘And then we’ll take you into hospital so they can find out what’s going on.’
Michael looked horrified. ‘No. I’m fine. I can go home with my son.’
‘Just cooperate, Dad.’ Mitch’s tone was patient. ‘We need to know what’s going on. They’ll run a few tests and rule out anything we need to worry about.’
He still had Ollie clinging to his neck and maybe Michael could see how frightened his grandson was.
‘I’ll go—but only if you and Ollie go and have that dinner we were planning. I’m not going to s
poil a special day out by having you hanging around a hospital for hours. You can come and pick me up later.’
‘Don’t be daft. Of course we’re coming with you.’
‘That’s not fair on Ollie. He’s worried enough as it is, without seeing everything that goes on in an emergency department.’
Jenna could sense a standoff happening. She could also sense that, underneath his bravado, Michael was probably as worried about his own health as his family was. She could see how tense Mitch was and...as for Ollie, well...her heart just went out to the scared little boy.
‘I could look after Ollie,’ she offered. ‘My shift’s about to finish and the vehicle’s not needed back on station any time soon.’
The swift glance from Mitch told Jenna that he didn’t want her doing anything she might not be comfortable with. That he knew how big a deal this was.
‘You don’t have to do that,’ he said quietly. ‘We’ll be fine.’
‘I know I don’t.’
And even yesterday, maybe she wouldn’t have made that offer, even though she had chosen to meet Ollie and attend Pets’ Day because it was a big step to changing her life for the better. This was something else. Another huge shift and it was happening because of how she was feeling about Mitch. This was about finding out whether she could cope with being with Ollie as a parent figure, because, if she couldn’t, there was no point in dreaming about falling in love with Andrew Mitchell or of them having any kind of future together. And the part of her that was longing for that seemed to be growing.
Jenna found a smile. ‘I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to. We’ll stay within easy reach of the hospital. You’ll be able to text whenever you want me to bring Ollie back.’
His glance was asking silently if she really thought she could cope. By way of responding, she turned to Michael. ‘Will you go and have those tests done, Mike, if I’m looking after Ollie? So that everyone can stop worrying about you?’
Stolen Nights with the Single Dad Page 12