“Stop this, Alayna.” It was a command, a low even tone that I guessed few people argued with.
But I was determined to hear him confirm the truth that would kill me. “You’re in love with her.”
He threw his arms out emphatically. “For the love of God! If I am even capable of that emotion, Celia’s not the one I’d be…” He stopped himself, his jaw snapping shut.
Celia’s not the one…His words echoed in my ears like a song I loved to hear.
He stepped toward me. Cupping his hands at the sides of my face, he lifted my chin roughly toward him. “I’m not in love with Celia. I promised I’d be honest with you, Alayna, but it does no good if you don’t trust me.”
I was still reeling from his slip. Celia wasn’t the one he’d…what? Be in love with? Then who—with me?
But he wasn’t giving that away. For now, his almost statement was enough—it calmed my nerves and steadied my heart.
He smoothed the hair down behind my ear, and I stared into his gray eyes, noting a tenderness that I hadn’t seen earlier. “I’ve never slept with Celia.” His tone was soft but urgent. “I’m not in love with her. I didn’t get her pregnant. Trust me.” Even softer, even more urgent. “Please.”
“Okay.”
His brow creased in surprise. “Okay?”
“Okay, I trust you.”
“You do?”
I thought of how eager I’d been to have Brian’s trust, how disappointed I’d been when I realized I still didn’t. Hudson needed someone, needed me to believe in him. I should have been telling him every second. If I loved him, like I believed I did, then I’d have to do better at building him up.
I smiled at him. “I do.”
His body relaxed like a huge weight had been removed from his shoulders. “Thank you.” He kissed my forehead. “Thank you.”
I was absorbed with him in that space of time, but not so much as to not observe its oddity. We were holding each other close, exchanging assurances that portrayed us as more than casual lovers. What are we doing? I almost asked him; I felt the shape of the words on my tongue, but couldn’t locate the air to push them past my lips. Did he sense it too?
If he recognized it, he hid it from me, pulling my head down to his shoulder where I couldn’t look for it in his eyes. And that was fine. I enjoyed his embrace, the warmth and security it gave me, whatever it meant for us.
After the possibility of addressing the moment had passed, he said, “Look. My mother’s leaving.”
I pulled away to glance at the group we’d left behind. Sure enough, Sophia with her oversized sunhat was walking alone up the pathway toward the house. With her gone, it made the idea of rejoining the group more tolerable. “We should get back.”
“We should.” A hint of reluctance laced his tone and his eyes shifted to my lips. “We should kiss and make up first.” He’d already begun lowering his face to mine. “In case anyone’s watching.”
I didn’t have time to agree before one hand wrapped around the back of my neck and his tongue swept into my mouth. Unlike the majority of our kisses that were generally reserved for sex, this one was sweet and easy. That didn’t mean it lacked passion. Hudson sucked and licked and nibbled first at my top lip and then gave equal treatment to the bottom. Then his tongue was inside my mouth again, reaching and searching, circling mine in a lazy spiral.
He labeled it as a kiss for our distant spectators, but it was completely ours—a harmonic blending of him and me, so thoroughly fused I could no longer remember where he began, where I ended, whose taste belonged to who. And it was more—a love song without words, a promise without fear. It was a spark, a beginning of something new.
We parted hesitantly, both of us afraid to break the spell. Then, I slipped my hand in his and we returned to our roles as girlfriend and boyfriend.
Hudson changed after that, perhaps because Sophia had left, but I chose to believe it had more to do with the faith I had placed in him. He became playful and lighthearted. I witnessed it first in the volleyball match against Adam and Chandler. He skillfully dominated the game, as I was sure he dominated a boardroom. But in between plays he surprised me—giving me high fives and patting me lightly on the behind. It didn’t feel like he was putting on a show—there wasn’t any need to convince Adam and Chandler of our relationship.
I welcomed the development, embracing it perhaps too readily, the line between real and pretend blurring.
After we’d won two sets of volleyball, we took a spin on the Jet Skis—Hudson driving, me clutching to him tightly from behind. He rode confidently across the choppy water, and I thrilled at the speed and the closeness and how easy it was to just be with him.
And when we lost our balance and fell into the ocean, he clutched me to him and laughed then kissed me mercilessly before righting the Jet Ski and pulling me up behind him. “Again, precious?” he yelled over the motor.
“Again.”
Later, after we’d packed up and returned from the beach, we changed our clothes and went down for a BBQ on the veranda that included brats and dogs cooked by Jack. Sophia claimed another insufferable headache and only showed herself momentarily to say goodnight, though I suspected she really came down to fill her glass.
We finished the evening with several rounds of poker where Jack cleaned everyone out. Then Hudson and I headed to our bedroom, our eyes wandering along the landscapes of each other’s bodies as we climbed the stairs.
The door had barely shut behind us before Hudson had me caged to the wall, his body pressed against me as he took my lips in a hungry desperate kiss, probing and demanding with his tongue until I was gasping in his mouth. My head swam, my panties instantly drenched with arousal, but I summoned strength to push my palms firmly against his chest. “Hold on, Hudson,” I said, breathless.
“Dammit, Alayna, I have to be inside you. I can’t wait any longer.”
He moved in again, but I turned my head and his mouth found my jawline instead. “Soon, H.” I darted out under his arm. “Lower the lights like you did the other night.” I walked backward as I spoke until I hit the closet where we’d stowed our suitcases. Hudson had hung several items of clothing and put others into the dresser drawers, but I still hadn’t bothered to unpack. “Get settled in bed. Naked.” I winked.
“Oh, you’re taking charge,” he said, leaning on the wall with an outstretched arm. “How adorable.”
“Don’t patronize me.” I bent inside the closet to rifle for the red baby doll halter nightie he’d missed seeing me wear the night before. When I found it, I wadded it up in a tight ball so he couldn’t see it yet and took off for the bathroom.
“I’m not. I’m excited.” He rubbed along the crotch of his pants. “I’m already hard.”
My lip curled into a wicked grin. “Good. Now do as you were told.” I stopped in the door frame of the bathroom. “And don’t fall asleep!”
“Then don’t take forever in the bathroom.”
Grinning, I shut the door. Charged with nervous anticipation, I changed at lightning speed. The day had been beyond wonderful and real. It had been so long since I felt anything more than contentment, and with Hudson, I did. I was certain he did, too. We’d been falling together. And now I wanted to celebrate those feelings with my lover, acknowledging the depths of my emotions with my body even if I couldn’t yet express them in words.
I positioned my hair to fall around my shoulders, turned off the bathroom light then opened the door. The lights were low so I took a step forward where he could see me.
Hudson sat naked on top of the bed covers. His breath caught when he saw me. “Jesus, Alayna. You’re so goddamn beautiful.” He moved to a kneeling position. “I might have to let you wear that while I fuck you.”
I was used to his forward sex talk, but I blushed anyway.
“Come here,” he growled.
I started toward him then stopped. “Wait, I’m in control, remember?”
He sat back on his haunches and tilt
ed his head. “Then take charge.”
Tingles spread from my belly throughout my body, turned on by the commanding way he relinquished his authority. He’d always dominated our sex, yet he was letting me take over, a choice that might even diminish the experience for him, though I hoped not. It added an element of pressure that I hadn’t expected, but also thrilled me.
“Sit back against the headboard.” My demand sounded stronger than I had expected.
Hudson grinned then did as I’d ordered.
Throwing my shoulders back to assume more confidence than I had—and, also to showcase my haltered bosom—I sauntered to the foot of the bed. Facing him, I climbed up and crawled toward him.
I kept my gaze on his face watching as his eyes flitted back and forth from my eyes to my breasts as I crept toward him. My hands trailed along his calves as I moved up him then swept past his knees to his firm thighs. I stopped at the base of his rock hard penis and dipped my head down, licking along the length with one swipe of my tongue.
Hudson’s pupils were hot coals of desire. “Do it again.”
It would have been natural for me to give in to his command, but I wasn’t ready to relinquish my dominance. “Maybe I will.”
His grin widened. He had been testing the hold on my control and I’d passed.
I dipped again, this time kissing along his head, my eyes never leaving his. I licked across the crown one more time, savoring the salty taste of him before I fed his erection past my lips into the warmth of my mouth.
He let out a groan. “Oh, precious, you suck me so good.”
I teased him, fondling and caressing his balls in one hand while I licked and sucked and cherished his dick with my mouth, never taking up a steady pace. Soon, he threaded his fingers through my hair and began to take over, holding my head still over his penis, as he bucked into my mouth, establishing the rhythm he craved.
I let him keep control for only a moment, treasuring the grunts and groans that accompanied his thrusts. Then I pulled at his arm to release his grip on my head, and raised my body, letting his cock fall from my mouth.
He moaned.
“You want more?” I teased. “You’ll have to wait.” I climbed further up his body and spread my legs to straddle his waist and felt his firm ridge knocking against my ass.
His eyes widened in curiosity.
I spread my palms across his bare torso and leaned down to take his mouth. His kiss was greedy and eager, his tongue working inside my mouth. He moved his hands to the sides of my face, holding me in our lip-locked position, but I shook my head free.
“What do you want?” he asked, breathlessly.
It put him on edge, to let me dictate. But he was willing to try, and it gratified me immensely. Though he hadn’t given me his trust in other areas, he was giving it to me here. That was a big step for him and, though a huge part of me wanted to let him take me in the way he wanted, I remained committed to the role reversal because of how much it meant for both of us to try.
But in answer to his question, I was at a loss. What did I want? “Touch my breasts,” I said, finally.
Hudson slipped his hands inside the silk of my halter-top. With a flick of his thumbs, my nipples became stone, my breasts heavy and sensitive as he squeezed them in his firm hands.
I bent down to lick at his lips, but he ducked his head to my bosom instead. Pulling down the material of my nightie, he took the tip of my breast into his mouth. He sucked and tugged at my nipple causing a shallow cry to escape from my throat. “Hudson, oh, god.”
A hand slipped under the thin lace of my panties and grazed my clit on the way to the hot opening of my pussy. Releasing my nipple from his mouth he said, “You’re already so wet, precious.” He licked lightly across the tip and I shuddered. “Shall I put my fingers inside you? Tell me.”
Hudson was so good at turning my mind to mush, my body pliable under his hands. I gave into the pleasure he could give me, but on my terms. “I want your cock inside me.” I spoke softly, not quite at ease with saying the words.
He smiled, but didn’t move to take me up on my request. Instead he suckled on my other breast eliciting an involuntary moan from me. Then he said, “But you aren’t ready for me, precious.”
“I’m ready enough.” I was more forceful this time. “I want to ride you.”
A flash of desire crossed his face. In one swift move, he ripped the sides of my panties open, pulled the torn material out from under me and threw it aside. I shivered at his primal act, lust rushing through my veins like wildfire. Desperate to have him, to possess him, I scooted back to balance myself over him. I took his gorgeous thick penis in my hand and lifted the head to my wet entrance, my arousal fueled further when his cock throbbed in my grasp.
“I can’t imagine why I deserve this,” Hudson said hoarsely, splaying his hands over my breasts. “I should be rewarding you for your very believable girlfriend act today.”
I stilled. His comment stung, but I wasn’t sure if it should. Was he reminding me the day had been pretend? Or was he trying to elicit a reaction from me? Was he putting his guard up, refusing to let any emotions into our relationship?
Or maybe he felt nothing of what I thought he felt, and his words were simply a statement of what he saw as an accurate representation of our day.
No, it wasn’t true. I believed with all my heart that something more had developed between both of us. He may not be able to admit it to me, or even to himself, but I knew. I knew.
I slid down onto his pulsing cock, taking him in with a gasp. He was right—I wasn’t fully prepared, and he felt full and big inside. I squirmed, trying to ease the bite of discomfort as I worked him in deeper. Hudson placed his hand flat along the middle of my torso and pushed me to lean back. The angle opened me and I glided down to his root.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “You’re so tight, Alayna. So good.”
I lifted my hips, raising myself up his length before lowering again.
Hudson shifted beneath me, churning his hips, eager to direct the pace, but I kept my steady speed as I slid smoothly up and down his steely erection. His hands moved on me restlessly, wandering from my breasts to my thighs to my hips before he finally settled one flat on my stomach and circled his thumb on my clit with a delicious firm pressure.
“God, oh, god,” I cried, squeezing and clenching around him. The exquisite feeling of his cock skimming against my vaginal walls combined with the expert attention he was giving my tender bud drove me mad. I was on the edge, near orgasm, though not quite able to get the release I longed for. Tears formed in my eyes and sweat beaded on my skin.
“I’m happy, Hudson. You’ve made me happy.” I couldn’t stop myself from telling him, my words mixed with throaty moans.
Under heavy lids, his eyes pierced mine, glowing with the intense need to fuck. They widened at my declaration, a new spark lighting the dark desire already held there.
“And I’ve made you happy too.” It spilled from my mouth like I wished my elusive orgasm would. I sensed the warning in Hudson’s face, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying more. “We’re falling in love. This is us, falling in love.”
“Enough.” In a flash, he flipped me underneath him, maintaining our connection at the groin. He bent my legs at the knees and pushed them back while he plunged into me, pummeling me with a drive that fought to tear me apart. In that position he struck me deep, deeper than he’d ever been. He meant to punish me for my words—for knowing he’d connected with me. But the punishment only acknowledged I was right.
And in that finding, combined with his maddening thrusts, I lost everything to him, coming so violently that my body seized, quivering uncontrollably beneath him.
Hudson continued to ram into me, hitting the very end of me with each stroke until I came again. This time he joined me, burying his cock even deeper as he released, my core milking him while he spurted long and hot.
When we’d both stilled, he rolled off of me and fell hard into t
he bed at my side. Without words, he pulled me into the crook of his arm, closed his eyes, and went to sleep.
I tightened into his embrace. Usually he cuddled longer, and stroked and caressed me before falling asleep. But I’d challenged him in more ways than one that night. He needed time to process. At least he was still holding me at all. That had to be a good sign.
It took longer before I was taken by sleep, but when it finally came, I slept deep and peacefully.
In the morning, I awoke alone, but despite remembering that Celia would visit today, I felt happy. Until I went to the closet to get an outfit and found my belongings the only occupants.
Hudson’s clothes and suitcase were gone.
Chapter Twenty-One
I swallowed the acid rising in my throat and dressed in a flurry, not bothering with my hair or my face or shoes. Just because his things were gone didn’t mean he was, I told myself as I descended the stairs, trying to squelch the growing unease. There had to be an explanation.
I followed the sound of voices and found Mira and Sophia leaning over the dining room table, examining several large poster boards spread in front of them. Mira lifted her head as I approached and smiled. “Good mor—“
“Where’s Hudson?” I cut her off, my arms folded over my chest.
Sophia glowered at me over her reading glasses. “He left with Celia.” An undercurrent of pleasure laced her statement.
Mira rolled her eyes and turned her body to give me her full attention. “He had a business thing come up. Some sort of emergency. He had to fly immediately to Cincinnati.”
“Celia drove him.”
“Mother, honestly! Stop it!” I’d never seen Mira irritated and it looked unnatural on her usually smooth, unruffled features. It worked to silence Sophia. “Celia was already here to show us the designs when Hudson discovered he needed to leave. She offered to drive him to the airport so that he could leave the car for you to get back to the city whenever you wanted.”
Complete Fixed: The Complete Fixed Series: Books 1-5 Page 23