Dirty Filthy Fix (a spinoff novella)
Slay Series: Slay One: Rivalry | Slay Two: Ruin
Slay Three: Revenge | Slay Four: Rising
The Open Door (a spinoff novella)
First and Last
First Touch | Last Kiss
Hollywood Standalones
One More Time
Close
Sex Symbol
Star Struck
Written with Sierra Simone
Porn Star | Hot Cop
Written with Kayti McGee under the name Laurelin McGee
Miss Match | Love Struck | MisTaken | Holiday for Hire
Fixed Forever Acknowledgments and Author’s Note
I’m quite familiar with OCD and mental illness.
My first exposure was growing up with a family member who had the disorder. I was about ten or so, and I remember reading The Boy Who Kept Washing His Hands, a book my grandparents owned to help the rest of us understand what my aunt was going through.
It was a fascinating topic.
Later, there were friends I was close to who had it. All of this, I believe, was preparation for me to be mother to three daughters who each have different forms of OCD.
I’d written the first Fixed book before my kids were ever diagnosed with their disorders. I based Alayna’s obsessions on my own tendency to fixate and obsess. I was never Alayna - but I knew that I could be.
I didn’t decide to revisit Hudson and Alayna in order to focus on these issues, but getting the chance to do so, with the added knowledge of what it’s like to live with these disorders (as well as depression and anxiety - my house is full of sensitive, empathetic unicorns!) has been exactly the book I needed to write at this time in my life.
I hope this book is also meaningful for some of you. These experiences might not be what you’ve heard about OCD or what you know to be true about it, but they are pieces of my own truth.
I didn’t write anything that I didn’t understand.
I didn’t add anything I hadn’t seen or lived.
Beyond resonating with the path that I knew these characters had taken, I was reluctant to write another book for Hudson and Alayna. I loved where I’d left them off - happy and safe and in love. I definitely didn’t want to introduce another conflict that would tear them apart - these two have committed to each other. Their struggles are not about staying together or loving each other - they belong to each other and they know that.
But even so, I have a husband I belong to. He’s the forever guy for me, and still we have the times we rub against each other. Not just with the “I forgot to go to the store, there’s no toilet paper” kind of friction, but with deeper confrontations. Those days where I feel, “Gah! Does this man even know who I am?”
And he does. Sometimes better than I know myself. Always different than I know myself.
That was the story I wanted to write for Alayna and Hudson - the story of a marriage. The story of two people who are going to be forever, and in order to be that, they work hard at keeping their magic alive.
I hope that’s the story you find in the pages of this book. I hope they’re helpful or useful or validating or just plain entertaining for the people who read it.
Now onto the gushy part.
This past year has been incredibly tough for me. In just 12 months time I had emergency gall bladder surgery, broke my arm, lost my dog, got a new puppy who broke his arm, lost some very significant friendships, discovered two of my children had OCD that I wasn’t aware of before, had my estranged dad reappear in my life after 25 years, dealt with my 8-year old having a major nervous breakdown and refusal to continue attending school, watched my 15-year old daughter be diagnosed with a chronic syndrome that has no cure and become a depressed shell of the girl she once was, decided to move out of state for better services and resources for my children, wrote more books in 12 months than I’ve ever written in that time period while suffering from chronic pain after my arm break, and am now in the process of both selling a house and buying a house.
With the completion of this book, my grandmother passed away.
And that’s how this year ended.
It’s been hard getting here. And, besides mentioning the usual book supporters, there are definitely people I need to thank for helping me arrive here, because this was not a journey I could have made on my own.
First of all, to my best friend Kayti McGee, the person whom this book is dedicated to - I’ve already said all my nice words to her this year at this amazing Unicorn summit we attended, and I can’t give her more without ruining my grumpy cat reputation. But if I could say more, I’d thank her for never tiring of my bullshit, for reading my mind, for being willing to always drive to my house, for listening when I ruminate over and over, for the visits to my house to get my ass out of bed and keep me focused, for “getting me”, and, most especially, for letting me feel at every turn that I wasn’t broken. You’re my other half. I love you big. (Move to Texas, m’kay?)
To Candi Kane, Melissa Gaston, Rebecca Friedman, Jana Aston, Christine Reiss, Lauren Blakely, Melanie Harlow, Roxie Madar, Michele Ficht, Amy Libris, and Liz Berry - all of you deserve sainthood. These shit storms wouldn’t have been weathered without your amazing, incredible, compassion. You’ve been patient friends who reached out through messages and phone calls, always reminding me you were there. I am humbled and honored to be worthy of your time and love.
To Anthony Colletti for knowing what I needed and pressing me out of my comfort zone. To Chris Yonkers, the guy waiting outside that zone to teach me flow.
To the people who make the stuff happen behind the scenes - Rebecca Friedman my agent and best friend who is going to live near me soon (I. Can’t. Wait). Flavia Viotti and Meire Dias for being formidable, intelligent women to work with. Nancy Smay who continues to edit my work IN CHUNKS. (God, you’re just too good to me.) Michele Ficht, Dena Marie, and Paula (aka Madame Psuka) Dawn for always keeping my words on check. Andi Arndt and Marni for always being willing to work with me, for remaining professional and KIND at the same time. Also for producing such amazing audio recordings.
To my earliest readers, Roxie, “Vox”, Serena, Candi, and Liz - you all came with me down to the wire on this one. Again, I’m so humbled. So grateful. Thank you, thank you.
To my Snatches (Mel, Sierra, and Kayti; the girls who have been here from the beginning) and The Order and Shop Talkers and Jenn Watson. You’re all incredibly inspiring and real and raw with your interactions with me. I’m lucky to have so many amazing, strong women in my tribe.
To my LARCs—I made you wait so long! You’re incredibly patient with me, and I thank you for that and for always helping me do what I love to do most - give stories to the world.
To my readers in The Sky Launchers, and to the bloggers and the readers who love these books and share them with others. I will never not be amazed by your love and passion for the silly things in my head. You make my life possible, and I don’t forget it.
To my family. My beautiful, crazy, smart and funny and brave and “enough” girls; my steadfast, loyal, strong lobster husband; my two sweet puppies and my cats with personality - you are my reasons, the wind beneath my wings. And you belong to me so you can’t get rid of me, even if you want to.
And to my God who brought me through the fire that sloughed off the shame and the rust and found the precious girl underneath. I’m learning. Still. Always. Forever.
About Laurelin Paige
With millions of books sold worldwide, Laurelin Paige is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal and USA Today Bestselling Author. Her international success started with her very first series, the Fixed Trilogy, which, alone, has sold over 1 million copies, and earned her the coveted #1 spot on Amazon’s bestseller list in the U.S., U.K., Canada, and Australia, simultaneously. This title also was named in People magazine as one of the top 10 most downloaded books of 2014. She’s also been #1 over all books at the Apple Book Store with more than one title in more than one countr
y. She’s published both independently and with MacMillan’s St. Martin’s Press and Griffin imprints as well as many other publishers around the world including Harper Collins in Germany and Hachette/Little Brown in the U.K. With her edgy, trope-flipped stories of smart women and strong men, she’s managed to secure herself among today’s romance royalty.
Paige has a Bachelor’s degree in Musical Theater and a Masters of Business Administration with a Marketing emphasis, and she credits her writing success to what she learned from both programs, though she’s also an avid learner, constantly trying to challenge her mind with new and exciting ideas and concepts. While she loves psychological thrillers and witty philosophical books and entertainment, she is a sucker for a good romance and gets giddy anytime there’s kissing, much to the embarrassment of her three daughters. Her husband doesn’t seem to complain, however. When she isn’t reading or writing sexy stories, she’s probably singing, watching shows like Game of Thrones, Letterkenny and Discovery of Witches, or dreaming of Michael Fassbender. She's also a proud member of Mensa International though she doesn't do anything with the organization except use it as material for her bio. She currently lives outside Austin, Texas and is represented by Rebecca Friedman.
www.laurelinpaige.com
[email protected]
Complete Fixed: The Complete Fixed Series: Books 1-5 Page 152