Dixon nods. “I’m sorry,” he says.
I really do curse. Not out loud though. Just to myself. “So you haven’t changed…your mind?”
It takes me the full length of the inhale and the one after that to climb to my feet. As I do, I’m unsteady. Dixon flinches towards me, looking very much like he wants to touch me and I can’t make any sense of it. This is clearly a once off thing for him, but he’s looking at me as if he wishes it were more than that. Funny, since he’s the only one between the two of us holding the brakes.
“No,” he says and his voice is thick. I have a hard time looking at him with the way he’s staring. So intensely, but I don’t know what to make of it.
“I…I’ll show you out. I just…let me get a towel first.”
“Take your time,” he whispers and I’ve never heard anything more belittling.
Back in the living room, I’ve got a towel wrapped around my body but his cum still lies thick over my belly and legs. He’s fully clothed though, wearing that vacant mask he’s so fond of. I was reading into things I shouldn’t have been reading into. He told me what he wanted and it isn’t me. It doesn’t matter that tonight I found out Brant likes him. I already did. And I shouldn’t have let him drive me home because now I don’t just feel like…but more than that. This is the kind of thing that might have distracted me for a minute before Brant, but I no longer have that luxury.
“So bye then, I guess.” I inhale deeply and try to plaster on a smile, but it fits all wrong. I let it fall and watch him from the corner of my eye as he reaches the door. “One last thing.” Oh my lord. I can’t believe I’ve gotten myself into this situation. That I have to do this. That I have to beg once more. He pauses with one foot in, one out, and I debate how painful it would be to swallow my own tongue.
“Yes?”
“I know that I have no right to ask you this, but if you could not tell your brothers about this until Saturday, at least, I would really appreciate it.”
“Why?” His eyebrows pull together. He clears his throat when I meet his gaze.
I frown, anger licking the back of my neck and causing the hairs there to stand on end. “Is this some sort of game you guys have going? Because I don’t really care if y’all think of me as a slut for messing around with more than one of you, but if you guys are trying to pass me around and take turns, I’ll have you know that isn’t just going to fuck up my body. You guys are messing with my head.” And my heart.
I wait for a second and because he’s staring at me like I’ve just turned into a fish before his eyes. Then I shout, “I like you, okay. And for a second I deluded myself into thinking you might like me back, which is why I didn’t say yes right away when he asked me. I wanted to see if you’d go out with me first, but you won’t, and I don’t need him knowing that he was only my second choice.” He still hasn’t said anything and his body has grown so still I start to panic. In my panic, I keep talking though I should have shut up thirty seconds ago.
“It’s not fair to him and it’s not fair to me either. I haven’t gone on a first date in months and I have tomorrow night and all day Sunday off and like my friend Sherry says, I have to remember how to have a life sometime. I mean, I went from being a med school student living and partying in the dorms with tons of friends and cash to spend to being a young mom living in low income housing who has to strip in order to get by each month. I’ve got to get back out there and when he introduced himself as your brother I thought he seemed cute and nice so why not give him a chance? I just had to check with you first about dinner…”
I rub the back of my neck and I have never been hotter. In a half-whisper, I curse. “Why am I rambling? Why am I always rambling in front of you? Just…if you could not say anything. That’s all I wanted to ask…I don’t want him to think I’m a slut…”
“Who.” His voice is the blunt tip of a pencil breaking against a desk. It cracks and crackles and I don’t miss the violent twitch of his neck. I’m startled into asking him to repeat himself, though I’ve heard him quite clearly. “Who the fuck asked you out?”
I clench my arms to my sides and the front of my towel fans open. Embarrassment doesn’t begin to cover what I’m feeling. I’m gutted. “Don’t curse at me, Dixon.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He holds up both hands, but he’s leaning against the doorframe and his teeth are clenched together and his fingers curl around the doorknob and I get the impression he’s going to tear it off. He’s angry again and I’ve got his cum on my stomach and tomorrow I am going on a date with his brother. “Please tell me which one of my brothers asked you on a date.”
I have a hard time choking through the first syllable and an even harder time with the second. “Charlie,” I finally manage.
Dixon’s eyes close. “And you’re going?”
“You said no.” I shrug. “And nobody else asked.”
Dixon’s lips murmur something too quickly for me to make out. Then he backs away from the door and looks down the hall, towards my neighbor’s apartment. They’re still partying – or at the very least smoking weed – even now.
“Lock the door. I want to hear it click.” He inhales through his nose as I approach the door, obeying his command without protest only because he looks like he’s about to lash out and eat me. “Please,” he whispers when I draw close enough to touch.
I nod and shut the door between us. It freaks me out when I don’t hear his boots plodding down the hall but I’m too nervous to look through the peep hole to see if he’s still there. A part of me wants him to be and an equally large part of me doesn’t want to see him ever again. I rinse off my legs and crawl into bed beside Brant, happy to see him still soundly sleeping even as I lay awake, waiting to hear the sound of boots in the hall. I’m asleep before I ever do and awake too soon after that.
The day passes in a blur. I try to forget about what happened last night, but only succeed when I get an unexpected phone call at noon. From that point forward, I’m too steeped in shock to focus on the A- I get on my immunology exam or the previous evening’s activities with Dixon. My heart is pounding and the grin on my face must be jarring because that night as I enter Camelot’s dressing room, Marilyn sees me and takes a step back.
“Woah. Somebody’s having a nice day.”
I nod and fight not to laugh, but in the end girly giggles bubble up and out of my throat. “Yeah I am. I got some crazy news from Brant’s daycare. They said that they processed my paperwork incorrectly when I submitted it last week, but that we’re eligible for a scholarship. Full ride and they’re even going to include their nannying service free. That means that I don’t have to ask friends to watch him these crazy hours anymore. They will watch him anytime and one of the women lives right around here so I can drop him off and pick him up before and after my shifts and come visit him between classes. He’s with her now and she’s so wonderful. An older woman, she seems to really like kids. I was worried she’d be put off by the crazy times but she says that Lemon Crest pays well enough and that she enjoys the company. I mean I just…can’t believe this.” I lift a hand to my forehead and plop down on my vanity seat. A couple of the other girls who’d been half-listening wander off. Mindy rolls her eyes.
Marilyn just laughs. “Looks like the good lord sees you out of the corner of his eye. Either that, or you’ve got a generous benefactor here in this world.” She winks at me but a second later, starts handing me clothes and puts me to work.
I’m surprised to see Dixon standing where he usually is as I begin my routine. I’m even more surprised by who else is in the audience. As soon as my number is up, I run back into the dressing room, throw on a robe and beg Marilyn for five minutes before I hit the booths. From the hallway, I jump up and down until I get Sherry’s attention. She grabs Amber’s hand and Amber grabs the last member of their little trio before all three of them crowd around me in the hallway.
Dixon’s response doesn’t slip by me.
On the contrary, I feel like anytime he’s within a football field’s length from me, he wins at least thirty percent of my attention – usually more – and now he’s coming towards us.
“Neil,” I say, hugging him with one arm. “I can’t say I’m not totally mortified you’re here but it is good to see you. Did y’all run into each other?”
“No!” Sherry answers as Neil opens his lips. He cracks a knowing smile and watches Sherry with a fondness that warms my belly. “I actually got his number the last time we ran into each other. You remember,” she says without taking a breath. “I asked him to get drinks only about a dozen times but nothing and then all at once last night I get a call super late asking if I was free this evening and guess what I said?”
“Yes?”
“Yes!”
Amber rolls her eyes and manages to squeeze past Sherry for a hug. “She said yes,” Amber sighs into my ear.
I laugh. “So it would seem.” Stepping back, Amber looks so out of place in here with her cashmere sweater buttoned up to her throat and her dark brown hair parted down the center. She’s not the kind of girl I imagine most men look twice at, but somehow I find her insanely beautiful. Either way, I’m both grateful and saddened by her presence in this place. She reminds me more of the type of girl I used to be while Sherry, on the other hand, fits in perfectly. In platform wedges with a skin-tight strapless dress wrapped around her body, she’s loving it.
“So Neil,” I say, turning to him finally. His gaze, which had been trained on me but not on my face jerks up suddenly and I tighten my arms over the short robe I wear. “How are you enjoying the venue?”
“Well, I can’t say it’s the casual drink Sherry promised me, but it’s definitely something different.”
“Hey, you wanted to come here,” Sherry says, throwing her hands on her hips in mock anger. It doesn’t last long. Within the span of a blink, she’s all over him again.
He laughs and I can’t imagine anything sounding more genuine. Here is a guy who wears his entire personality on his sleeve. Nothing like the brooding jerk standing just six strides behind him. Nothing at all. “No, I’m kidding. I’m glad I got to see you dance.”
“Strip,” I correct.
He concedes. “Strip. You actually seem like you know what you’re doing.” He glances over his shoulder at Chantal, now on stage. I’m more interested in Dixon standing by the door to booth six with his gaze pinned on me. He makes no effort to disguise it, and it kind of freaks me out.
“Sherry and I took a pole dancing class last year. I actually really liked it.”
“She rocked and I sucked.” Sherry’s mouth turns down into a pout before her bright red lips cock back up. She leans into Neil’s shoulder and rubs her palm across his chest underneath his open jacket. “Though I bet you wouldn’t mind seeing me up on that stage just once.”
Neil kisses Sherry’s forehead much in the same way I’d kiss Brant’s and for a moment, I wonder why he’s with her at all. He seems to like her, but not as anything more than a friend. Then again I thought Dixon was into me, so I’m really no authority on the matter.
“Maybe we should leave it to the professionals, sweetheart,” he drawls, bending down to kiss her again.
“Sara,” Marilyn’s voice snaps behind me, “you’re slowing down the show, baby girl. Paying customers are waiting.”
Heat ravages my face and I go to respond, but another voice cuts in. “Marilyn, push Sara’s first hour back.”
I’m grateful for his intervention, but I’m more grateful that he didn’t use the word customer or client or john – any one of which Marilyn might have. I don’t mind when it’s just me, but I still prefer that my friends maintain their own private delusions about what I do for a living.
Marilyn makes a face, then pops her head back into the dressing room at the same time Mindy comes out. Once again, the girl’s robe is open and she’s wearing only a string bikini beneath it. Her eyes fix on Dixon’s face and I fight back the memory of what it had been like to hear her voice on the other end of that call last night. He’d said it had been for paperwork and I’m inclined to believe him for no other reason than the fact that he hasn’t lied to me yet. At least, I don’t think. At the same time I have no reason to be jealous. He owes me nothing.
“Hey Dixon.” Mindy speaks his name as a sultry moan that makes me want to scratch her. I’m not prone to violence, so that’s really the best that I can come up with. And in any case, I don’t, opting instead to turn back to my friends and try to make up an excuse as to why I have to be going, but Dixon intercedes again.
He clicks his tongue against the backs of his teeth and swivels, putting Mindy at his back. It also places him directly beside me. “Will you introduce me to your friends?”
No. Why would I? “Uhh…yeah. Sure. This is Amber and Sherry. I’ve known Sherry since we were toddlers. Amber I met in college and this is Neil, Sherry’s date. Everyone, this is my boss, Dixon.” Remain professional, I tell myself, though it isn’t easy. I’m torn by the conflicting desires to jump him and jump his bones.
Sherry’s grin spreads so as to consume her full, smug face and even Amber’s lips part. “The Dixon?” Sherry is gawking and my intestines are knotting themselves around my lungs.
I exhale painfully. “Mm hmm. Yep. The one I told you is my boss.” Though I told her much more than that and the fact that she’s bringing it up now makes me want to punch her square in the boob. I smile, though it feels brutal on my face.
Neil is the first to laugh, though he straightens and holds out his hand rather than comment. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Owner of this, and many other fine establishments downtown.”
Dixon looks at Neil’s hand and for a moment, I don’t think he’ll take it. When he does, I exhale, relieved. “Where you from, friend?”
“Damn. You’re good.” He grins. “Been hiding it for years. What gave me away?”
“The Rs. Accent’s hard to make out, and I can’t place it. Where are you from?” Dixon’s face is severe.
Neil drops his hand and shoves it in his pocket and I’m surprised because I hadn’t noticed an accent. Listening for it now, I can almost make it out but it is still too subtle to be pinpointed. “Germany. That’s a good tip. I guess it’s something I’ll have to work on.”
Dixon doesn’t say anything and another uncomfortable silence ensues. I go to break it, but Dixon turns to me first. “How do you know him?” He speaks like Neil isn’t even there.
“He’s Sherry’s date,” I say, flushed and flustered, “He’s cool.”
Dixon grunts, stares at me for a few moments more then turns to my friends. “Nice to meet you.” He shakes Sherry’s hand, then Amber’s. Amber is still staring.
“Lovely to meet you as well, Dixon,” Sherry muses, lifting her hand to Dixon’s mouth and forcing him to kiss it. I grab her arm and step between them, to spare him. “We’ve heard so much about you.”
“Good things, I hope.”
“The best.” Sherry winks at me and the urge to strangle her rises. “She told us that you were even nice enough to drop her off at her place the other day. Even had someone trail y’all in her car so she would have it the next day.”
“Oh my lord.” My voice is a shout though I don’t mean for it to be. “It was so great seeing y’all but I really have to get back to work.”
As I move forward to hug Amber first, Dixon sweeps his hand underneath my hair and places it on the back of my neck. The gesture sends chills all the way through me that melt when I turn to look at him. He’s smiling, and I get the distinct impression that he’s teasing me.
“There’s no rush. I’m enjoying getting to know friend’s of Sara’s.”
The pressure of his thumb on my skin makes my knees feel like putty. I’m no longer strong beneath his touch, but worried. I feel for him and the way he’s looking at me now makes me think that he feels something in return, which I know is false. I begin t
o wonder if the man feels anything. I force myself to pull back.
Dixon’s smile fades, but he’s distracted and reaches into his pocket. “Sorry folks, I have to take this.” He holds up a finger and takes a few steps away from us while Neil asks me about my work and if I’m enjoying it.
“Oh umm…yeah. I guess. It pays the bills.” I shrug, answering Sherry’s next questions about my schedule though my mind is someplace else. I’m listening as Dixon speaks into the receiver.
“I’m here,” he says. “Good. You? Good.” Then he hangs up and dials another number immediately. “You good? Good.” Then he hangs up the phone and turns to look at me and I’m caught staring at him and fumbling over Amber’s next question.
“Oh. Where am I off to next?” Crap. Not a question I want to answer. I make a face and try to think of a lie but Amber’s not an easy girl to lie to. “I was about to go to the…”
“Office.” Dixon’s voice cuts in and when I look up, he’s standing right next to me though I hadn’t heard him approach. “If you’d grab your things actually, that would be great. Just your backpack. Not everything.” He turns again to my friends and feigns a whisper. “Don’t worry, she’s not in trouble.” He winks at Amber and she smiles back at him meekly, looking strangely star struck.
“Okay,” I say slowly, wondering where he’s going with this. I’ve got clients to take care of and he knows it. Still, I reach forward and embrace Sherry and Neil. I hug Amber last. As I untangle my short arms from her lanky ones, I squeeze her shoulder. “Y’all are sweet coming here to see me, but you really don’t have to stay.”
Amber sighs and as she looks around, she seems one part grateful and one part reluctant. She drops her pitch and says into my hair. “Are you sure you’re safe working here?”
“Excuse me,” Dixon’s voice rings above us and it’s slow and deep and soothing. “I know you weren’t talking to me and it’s not my place to answer for Sara, but I can promise you that while I’m here, Sara’s safety is one thing you can be sure of.”
The Hunting Town (Brothers Book 1) Page 23