by Hart, Rebel
But I wasn’t going to let that hold me back.
“Go. To. Work. Rae.”
I punctuated the words with kisses before my hands slipped to her hips. She sighed as her forehead fell against mine. I felt her fingertips curling into my chest. My heart beat against her skin. Against her hands as they tried keeping me rooted. I knew she didn’t want to go to work. They had interrupted us at a terrible time. And truth be told, I wanted to hop back into bed and hold her. I wanted to leap back into her arms, pull her against me, and fuck her into that mattress until the words poured effortlessly from both of our mouths.
I knew she needed the hours, though. Especially if she wanted to save to move out after graduation.
Rae sighed. “At least let me know when you get home safely. Okay?”
I nodded. “Of course. This’ll give me time to stretch my legs. Work on my stamina. Allow me to clear my head for a bit before getting into the house.”
“Is your dad still there?”
I paused. “Yeah. He’s still home.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
It made me sick she even had to ask. “I’ll be fine, Rae. I know how to stand my ground with him.”
“I don't know about this.”
I cupped her cheeks. “Look. It’s a twenty-minute walk. It’s not even six o’clock. You’ll hear from me before you get ready and leave for work in the first place. I promise.”
And after a pause, she nodded. “Okay. Let’s get you out of here, then.”
“Atta girl.”
She walked me to the front door before pulling me in for one more kiss. She fisted my shirt, wrapping it around her hand before pulling me down to her lips. I growled down the back of her throat and cloaked her in my arms. I loved it when she took control like that. When she thought she had the upper hand. I whipped her around, backing her into the wall in front of the door as my knee pressed between her thighs.
The glorious thighs I’d just relished with my lips.
Rae giggled. “We’re both going to be late if you don’t stop.”
I grinned. “I’m not the one that initiated that kiss, beautiful.”
“I guess I’ll take the blame for it. But just this once.”
“Just this once, indeed.”
I chuckled, then captured her lips one last time. I kissed the tip of her nose, both of her cheeks, then planted one on her forehead. And after pep-talking myself in my head, I finally pulled away. I left her house, walking myself up the street and out of view before I stopped to catch my breath.
And for the first time in a long time, I admired the world around me.
I noticed the flowers lining the sidewalks as I walked by them. I noticed the cracks in the concrete where the land below it was slowly winning the war. I gazed up into the light blue sky, slowly cracking against the colors of a sunset teeming on the horizon. Things I’d never noticed while zooming around on my motorcycle. A world I had yet to experience because of the fast-paced, angry life I’d led up until this point. The breeze blew against my face, drying the beads of sweat on my brow as they formed.
It felt different than the breeze on my bike.
It felt comforting. Soothing. Not like the talons that clawed at my leather-jacketed back while speeding through town. I mean, yes. I missed my bike. But there was something about the world around me that couldn't be appreciated while on it. Like the rabbits hopping around in people’s front yards. Or the laughter of young kids growing up down the off-shoot roads I passed to get to my own. The grass was green. I mean, incredibly green. A vibrant green that reminded me of those darkened neon signs in antique shops around the city.
I smiled at the life around me as I turned down the road I lived on.
I had a lot of good things going for me now. I had a great girl in my corner. I had new friends I felt I could trust. Who supported me and weren’t dragging me down and encouraging me to be an absolute asshole. I had a stepmother who wanted a relationship with me. I had teachers who were helping me get through homework and missed tests so I could still graduate. Hell, even the principal of the school smiled at me every once in a while, instead of frowning my way with disapproval and frustration in his eyes.
I felt good about life, for once.
I stopped for one last breather a couple of blocks away from my house. I watched it looming in the distance, sparkling underneath the harshness of the sun. Sweat dripped down my back as I sighed. I watched the off-colored white glisten against the deep red shutters of the house. During the entirety of my childhood, I remembered that house in three distinct ways. Three different sets of colors that all popped more than the houses around it. Maybe it was the fresh coats of paint put on it every year that kept the house lively. Maybe it was the fact that it was the biggest house on the block. Or, maybe, it was the fact that we had the only house with a wrap-around porch as well as a wrought iron front gate that was barely utilized.
Either way, it stood out.
I picked up the pace. I went from standing still to walking. To speed walking. To jogging. I burst into a sprint, pumping air through my lungs and feeling them expand into my back. I felt the last pangs from my ribcage fall free, releasing the last of the pressure in my gut. I smiled at the sensation. At how free my body felt. I rushed up the driveway and leapt onto the porch, relishing the sweat that dripped off my brow. Down my nose. Drenching my neck and the collar of my T-shirt.
I felt alive, for the first time in my life.
And I wanted things to stay that way.
“Stop it, Howard! This has gone far enough!”
“Who the fuck do you think you are, yelling at me like that? Shut the hell up and listen, like you were always so good at!”
“Oh, is that why you married me? Because I kept my mouth shut and looked pretty for you?”
“The hell else are you good for? I whisk you away on all these vacations and it’s not like you put out anymore!”
“You’re an absolute asshole, you know that?”
Immediately, the blood drained from my face. How I could have ever convinced myself that things were getting better I had no idea. I heard my father yelling at Cecilia. I mean, just roaring at the top of his lungs. The only shocker was that she was yelling back. For the first time—well—ever . I stood on the porch, wondering if I should continue my walk. Maybe I could walk far enough to get to that coffee shop. The one where Rae got me that insanely good coffee and all those pastries.
I turned my back to the front door, readying myself to walk away. Until I heard something crash.
“Howard! Stop!”
I burst through the door, charging my sweaty ass down the hallway. I followed the sounds of my father screaming at her. Cursing at her. Calling her every single name in the godforsaken book. I grimaced at some of the shit that came out of his face. What kind of man talked to a woman that way?
A coward, that’s who.
“Howard, you’re hurting me. Please.”
“Yeah? Well, maybe you know now how much it hurts me for you to be such a money-sucking cocktease, Cecilia.”
“Howard!”
“Dad!” I yelled at him as I burst through the double doors into the kitchen. I saw him standing there, leaning over Cecilia with his hand tightly wrapped around her forearm. She leaned away from him, trying to wiggle away. And the fear in her eyes widened them as she whipped her head over to look at me.
“Clint.”
I nodded. “Cecilia.”
Dad glowered. “Get out.”
I shook my head. “Not on your life. Let her go.”
Dad slowly panned his gaze toward me, pinning me with a glare. He tightened his grip around Cecilia’s wrist, causing her to squeal. She tried yanking away from him again, but he pulled her closer, almost causing her to lose her balance. I took a step closer to him, slowly reaching for the wooden spoon on the kitchen island.
And as he watched my movements, he chuckled.
“Go to your room, son.”
; Instead, however, I curled my hand tighter around that damn wooden spoon.
Because he sure as hell wasn’t ripping another good woman from my life.
37
Raelynn
“Welcome to Grady’s Groceries. How was your shopping trip?”
“Yes, the milk aisle has changed to accommodate more items. It’s over here, all the way down along the wall.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll make sure your coupon is acknowledged.”
“We do take competitor’s coupons! Because we pride ourselves on having the best prices in-store.”
“I’m sorry, we stopped carrying that kind of ice cream when their ingredients were proven to be genetically modified. But I can help you find some other wonderful choices.”
I put on the best face I could, even though I wasn’t happy with being at work. I wanted to spend more time with Clint. I still wanted to be at home, in bed, curled up next to him. His bruises had finally faded into nothingness and I caught a glimpse of the strong, brutal boy I remembered from school. From before all this happened. His touch seemed gentler, but his movements were still powerful. Still reminiscent of the fighter I knew was still deep down within him.
I wanted to experience more of him. Especially now that he had a new lease on life.
I couldn't deny the change I’d seen in him over the past few weeks. How toned down his reputation at school had become. How much he hung around me and Michael and Allison, as opposed to going back to Roy and Marina and the rest of those dickweeds. He paid more attention in classes. Didn’t crack jokes or cause a ruckus. The subdued nature that came over him during recuperation seemed to be trickling into his regular life, and I liked it. Not that I didn’t like him before. But he gave off the idea that he might want to pull away from all that bullying bullshit. The poking fun at people and making people’s lives a nightmare.
The thought made me smile.
“And here I thought work didn’t make anyone happy.”
Michael’s voice ripped me from my trance. “What in the world are you doing here?”
He smiled. “Can’t I come by and see my best friend while she’s stuck at work?”
“How did you know I had to work tonight?”
“The distressful text you sent Allison.”
I grinned. “So you were with her when I sent that text.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, we’ve been spending some time together.”
“Uh huh. And what kind of time are you spending with her?”
“Not the kind of time you and Clint are spending with one another, I’m sure.”
I snickered. “Hardy har har.”
“The deli still got those ham and turkey sandwiches?”
“And I know for a fact they just restocked your favorite energy drink in the vending machine outside.”
“Oh. Yes. When do you take your break?”
I paused. “Give me twenty minutes, and I can probably take ten. But not more than that.”
“Fair enough. I’ll go ahead and get my food and annoy you until you take your break.”
“Thanks.”
He winked. “Anytime, Rae.”
“Don’t let Clint catch you winking at me. He just might slug you for it.”
“I’d have a few words to say to him before he did something like that.”
“Wait. Like what?”
Michael shrugged. “Like, ‘Thank you for almost dying because it convinced me to kick things into gear with Allison.’”
“Maybe don’t put it like that.”
He chuckled. “Not exactly like that, no. But in some respects, I do owe me and Allison to what happened to him. As morbid as it sounds.”
“So, there’s a ‘you and Allison’ now?”
“I mean, not officially. But I guess being there with you that night and seeing what happened with Clint. What he did for you and what you were willing to do for him. It made me realize what I wanted, you know? I mean, with Allison. No offense.”
I shrugged. “None taken. You’re not my type anyway.”
“I don’t look very good in leather.”
“I mean, you might be able to pull off leather assless chaps.”
“Don’t go giving Allison any ideas now.”
I giggled. “You know damn good and well she’d die if you ever did that to her.”
“It’s one of the things I adore about her.”
I had to pause Michael’s story in order to check out a few customers. But they quickly dwindled down. He got his sandwich and his energy drink. And I was thankful for the soda he purchased for me. I clocked out for my ten-minute break, meandering outside to sit with Michael. We sat on a bench and watched the sun cast colors across the sky while the summer breeze slowly cooled us down.
I took a sip of my soda. “So, tell me what you adore about Allison.”
Michael almost choked on his sandwich. “What?”
“That’s where we left off a little bit ago. You said Allison’s lack of a sexual appetite was one of the many things you adore about her.”
“Not lack of a sex—Rae. Come on. You know what I meant.”
I giggled. “I’m giving you a hard time. I knew what you meant.”
“I mean, I just—it’s Allison, you know? She’s intelligent and cute. So, so cute. She’s got goals and ambitions, and she likes my jokes. Her hands are as soft as they look, too.”
I grinned. “Her hands, huh?”
He rolled his eyes. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“What? I’ve held Allison’s hands a lot over the years. I know what they feel like.”
“Uh huh. I’m sure that’s what you meant.”
I threw my head back, laughing. “That’s exactly what I meant.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“Doesn’t mean I can’t try.”
“You know I just—I keep thinking back to that night. Looking over the bridge and seeing Clint sprawled out. You know? And I just—I kept thinking about this crush I’ve got on Allison. Like, the fuck am I holding back for? What am I waiting for? It’s not like she’s going to approach me. She’s certainly not that kind of girl. And what if I get pushed over a bridge tomorrow? Or the next day? Am I really going to go out like that? With Allison not knowing how much I like her? She deserves better than that shit.”
I nodded. “She does.”
Michael paused. “I’m thinking of asking her to prom.”
I rolled my eyes. “After that entire diatribe, you’re only thinking about asking her?”
“Cut me some slack. I’ve already asked her to the movie and she invites me over every chance she gets. Give me at least some credit.”
I snickered. “All right. But only a little bit of credit.”
“You think she’d go with me if I asked?”
“I swear, the two of you. You’re gonna kill me, you know that?”
“What do you mean?”
I took another sip of my drink. “Do you know how long she’s been asking me when you’re going to ask her to prom?”
“Wait, what?”
I nodded. “Yep. I keep telling her to drop hints or just outright ask you herself. But every time I suggest that, she acts like I’ve slapped her across the face. I’m telling you, Michael. If you ask her, she’s going to say yes. She’s practically jumping out of her skin waiting for you to ask.”
He snickered. “Wow. Well, that makes me feel good.”
“I’m serious. You have to ask her. Our nights are going to be miserable if you don’t. She’d be so happy if you asked. Hell, she’d probably say yes before you could get the damn question out.”
He laughed. “Well, since we’re on this same track, you think Clint will ask you to prom?”
“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll go together. I mean, it’s not like he has to ask. We’re officially together, I suppose.”
“You suppose? After everything you’ve been through?”
I felt myself blush. “Okay, yes. We are officially together. So,
yeah. We’re going to prom together.”
“You still don’t sound too sure of that. Is everything going okay with his recuperation?”
I shrugged. “I mean, he’s always struggling with his dad. Which I’m sure is affecting his recuperation efforts. But he’s okay. Far as I can tell.”
“I’d like to get his dad in a room for a few minutes.”
I scoffed. “Wouldn't we all.”
“So, how are the two of you? You know, now that he’s on the mend?”
I felt myself blush deeper. “I guess we’re good.”
“You guess, huh?”
“You’re a dick, you know that?”
He chuckled. “Maybe a bit. Can I ask you something, though?”
“Of course. I mean, you have to spit it out soon because I only have one more minute, but—”
“Do you love him?”
The question didn’t catch me as off-guard as I figured it would. In fact, it was easy to answer. I bit down onto the inside of my cheek as I turned to face Michael. And with a nod of my head, I answered his question.
“Yeah. I really think I do.”
Michael grinned. “Then, you should tell him. I don’t know much about Clint, but I’d like to think I know him better after these past few weeks. The lunches we’ve shared and helping him to class. He strikes me as the kind of guy who won’t believe something is real unless you say the words. So say them.”
I paused. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“I can tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that’s not true. Not one bit.”
“But, there’s a chance. Right?”
He sighed. “Rae, if that boy doesn’t love you after all you two have been through and after all you’ve done for him, he sure as hell isn’t worth any more of your efforts.”
I nodded slowly. “True.”