by Hart, Rebel
“Mr. Clarke, you need to put your phone—”
I whipped my eyes up. “I’ve got things I need to take care of. Things that are beyond the scope of your reasoning and what I want to tell you. Now, you can either let me send a message to Rae so she can take care of it, or you can throw me out. But I’m not putting up my phone until I send this message. Are we clear?”
The principal sighed. “Tuck in that attitude.”
“Let me send one message to make my life just a little easier, and it’ll be put away.”
My eyes fell back to my phone and my fingers flew across the screen. I didn’t bother editing it. Because any second now, my father would walk into this office with steam pouring from his ears and I’d be dead.
Or, at least wish I were.
Me: Rae, I need something from you. The money, it’s in Mike’s locker. Make sure it stays safe until I can get to it. Dad’s about to pick me up. It looks bad. I won’t be here after school. Don’t come check on me until you hear from me. I don’t want you hurt. I’m sorry you have to deal with me all the time.
And just as the principal’s door whipped open, I slid my phone back into my pocket.
I slowly turned around and saw my father’s angry eyes. I swallowed hard as I stood up. I took one last look at the principal and I could’ve sworn I saw regret in his eyes. But it didn’t matter now. The smoke blowing from my father’s ears had nothing on the daggers flying from his glare. He watched me as I walked out the door, then left the principal’s office without a second thought. The heat of his body worried me. The fact that he hadn’t laid a hand on me yet only put me on edge. What would he do to me once we got home? Were we even going home?
I slipped into his car and neither of us spoke a word as he drove us back to the house.
He didn’t say anything as we got out of the car and walked inside. Or even as he slammed the door behind him. Which gave my mind more than enough time to theorize what might happen next. I felt my body already crumbling. I didn’t know if I’d be okay after this. I jumped when the door slammed shut. But dread filled my gut when I heard him flip the lock.
“You are a mystery to me, Clinton.”
The growl of his voice kicked my body into overdrive. I whipped around, but not soon enough. His hand came down against my neck and he slammed me into the wall, pressing my cheek against the pristine white walls. I pressed my hands into the plaster, struggling to breathe as his fingertips closed down against my pulse points. Tears welled in my eyes, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
Although I felt the little boy within me screaming out for help.
“Did you really think I’d punish you for some stupid little fight? Hmm?”
He ripped me away from the wall and tossed me against the banister of the stairwell.
“Did you really think I’d let you get away with what you’ve done to me? To our lives? After that stunt you pulled last week?”
He fisted my shirt and pulled me up to his face, and my body fell limp. I didn’t have the strength to fight him any longer. I didn’t have the ability to push him away. I hurt in so many places. My muscles ached for death. My mind went blank and I found myself traveling to my happy place as my father’s voice melted away into nothingness, growing further and further away the deeper I sank.
Like the river waters that almost swallowed me whole.
“Well, rest assured, Clinton, I don’t give a flying fuck what you do at school. This is going to be for putting ideas into my wife’s head. For trying to take her from me, you pointless little bastard. She’s mine, and you will do nothing more with her. Do you understand?”
As he tossed me to the floor, I closed my eyes. And the last thing I remembered was his foot jammed into my lower back. I let the tears fall as my happy place swept me away. Back into the arms of Rae. I saw her face smiling at me, felt her lips pressing against my cheeks. Her soft fingertips brushed my tears away, making me smile. Making me feel better about things.
Making me feel loved.
“Come. Follow me.”
Her voice filled my ears. Drowning out my father’s rage. I felt my body being tossed around, but I didn’t register the pain. Only the intensity. Only the pressure. Like my body had been filled with morphine and was numb from head to toe. Rae took my hands and pulled me into a beautiful wildflower meadow. Fraught with colors that warmed my soul. Yellows and pinks and blues. Purples and reds and so much green. A sparkling lake with fish jumping out caught my eye. And as the wooded landscape backdropped all around the meadow, a cabin magically appeared.
A cabin, in the middle of a meadow, situated on a crystal clear lake. A massive three-story behemoth, with a wrap-around porch. It was gorgeous. It called to me as Rae pulled me closer. She pulled me past the lake. Past the fish that called to my fingertips. To my hungry stomach. She pulled me up the porch steps and inside, showing me its glorious majesty.
And it left me stunned.
“Welcome home, handsome.”
Rae kissed my cheek, and I knew this had to be heaven. She threaded her fingers within mine and guided me through the cabin. The massive kitchen with marble countertops. The roaring fireplace with microfiber furniture, ready for me to flop against. She walked me up the stairs, showing me the bedrooms. The bathrooms. The hallways and the library.
Until finally she stopped at what looked like an office.
“What is this place, Rae?”
She giggled. “You’ve been gone too long, sweetheart. I take it the book tour went well?”
I paused. “Book tour?”
“Yeah. For your latest novel. Are you feeling all right?”
I blinked. “Yes. No. I’m fine. Sorry. I guess I have been away too long.”
“You got any ideas for your next book? Or are you taking some time off to hunt?”
“To hunt.”
“Yeah. And fish! Though, if you ask me, we don’t have anywhere else to put any more meat. The deep freezer in the basement’s already full.”
I stared at Rae, dumbfounded. I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. And yet, I wanted to. It all sounded magical. Like utter perfection. Her, in this house that was clearly ours. With a lake to fish in and woods to hunt in and food to feed ourselves with and money from books I wrote to keep us afloat. I smiled as I wrapped her up in my arms. I walked her into the wall as her giggles filled the space around us. My lips pressed against hers and I drank her in. The sweet concoction of her tongue as it slid across the roof of my mouth.
“Mmm, I guess things did go well on this latest book tour.”
I nodded softly. “And oh, how I missed you.”
We sank to the floor of my office space and I kissed her body, peeling her clothes back and sucking marks against her skin that I wanted to see for the rest of my life. She scratched her nails along my back as I pounded into her, diving deeper into the life I wanted. The life I needed. The life that ripped me away from my current reality. The image shook from time to time, and I tried to keep it still. I lost myself in her curves and buried myself between her legs. I took her from room to room, marking the house with her scent as she fell weak against me.
And I found myself hoping to never wake up from this amazing dream.
Even if it killed me to stay there.
24
Raelynn
Clint’s text made me fucking sick. I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the time I was in classes. Allison and I went around to his teachers after school, explaining to them that he had a family emergency he was dealing with. That he needed his homework. Tests. Any reading assignments he might have missed. Pop quizzes he needed to take. The teachers seemed less inclined to work with him after today’s little spat, and I wanted to slap them all. How dare they judge him when they didn’t know shit about him?
Still, they gave us what we needed.
Michael jogged up to us. “All right. I’ve got the money out of his locker. I don’t feel comfortable keeping it there. Shou
ld I take it and stash it at my place?”
I nodded. “If you could, please. I don’t know when he’s going to be able to get it, but I want it somewhere safe that isn’t here until he can get back to it.”
Allison swallowed hard. “Should we call the cops or something?”
I paused. “I honestly don’t know.”
Michael shook his head. “Have you heard from him at all since that text?”
I closed my eyes. “No, I haven’t. And I have to work tonight. So I can’t drop by.”
Allison put her hand on my shoulder. “Michael and I can just do a drive-by, if that makes you feel better.”
Michael piped up. “And if you want to give me his number, I can call him. You know, keep at it until he picks up.”
I drew in a deep breath. “I’m really hoping he makes good on his word. He said he’d come by after I was done working and we’d get a milkshake or something tonight. If he doesn’t come by, I might need a ride home.”
Michael hugged me. “Consider it done. Just call, okay?”
I opened my eyes. “Please tell me everything’s going to be all right.”
Allison rubbed my back. “One way or another, we’re all getting out of this. I promise.”
After coming up with a plan, I headed back to my house. Michael had his money, Allison had his homework, and I had the task of trying to get Clint on the phone. But it wasn’t any use. Every time I called him, his phone went to voicemail. Every text I sent went unanswered. I stood in front of the small mirror on the wall of my room, trying not to cry. I wanted to put on a bit of makeup for work, make myself look more presentable, in case Clint did come around.
But I kept crying it off.
“For fuck’s sake, come on.”
I hissed at myself as I wiped at the mascara running down my face.
“Lip gloss. Lip gloss and some powder so my face isn’t so red.”
It would have to do, because I had to be at work within the hour.
Just as I swiped on a layer of lip gloss, I heard something crash downstairs. Mom started screaming and I heard D.J.’s voice rising above the commotion, which sent me running. I ripped my door open and made my way to the top of the steps. I heard them yelling at one another as more things crashed against the wall. I heard tears in Mom’s eyes. I heard blood in D.J.’s voice. And as I turned the corner, heading for the kitchen, I saw a plate crash against the wall.
“D.J.! Stop!”
“Stop? Stop? You want me to stop when I hear my girl’s been fucking other men around town?”
Mom sniffled. “D.J., please. Calm down so we can talk.”
He roared. “I’m not calming down when I’ve just learned my girl is nothing but a fucking whore!”
I ducked as a glass went flying. Shards of the damn thing scattered all over the place as I shielded my head. Anger rushed through my veins. I wanted this man dead by the end of the night tonight. I saw my mother crouched down in a corner, her face in her hands while she sobbed. And D.J.? Well, he just kept destroying our stuff and yelling bloody murder. As if that might help things.
“How many men, huh? How many men did you let inside you?”
Mom sobbed. “I don’t know. Please, it was just when we were broken up. I’d never cheat on you, D.J.”
He snatched her arm. “Like hell you wouldn’t. You already did! We never broke up. We just had fights. And we always made up.”
“Let me go!”
“I’m not doing a damn thing you ask of me. You can’t even keep your fucking pants on, you bitch.”
“Stop!”
I came around the corner and picked up a glass filled with water. I chucked it at D.J.’s head and hit him square in the jaw with it. He released my mother and glared, lunging at me. But Mom threw herself at him and tackled him to the floor.
“You won’t lay a finger on my daughter. Do you hear me?”
D.J. snickered. “And that’s the issue. Like mother, like daughter. You’re an ungrateful bitch, just like she is.”
Mom screamed out as she raked her nails across D.J.’s face. I rushed over to her and pried her off his body, praying for all of this to stop. I couldn't take it any longer. The chaos. The confusion. The insanity. It would drain my next paycheck just to replace all this shit in the house he’d already broken.
Because God knows Mom couldn't afford it without D.J. funneling money into her purse.
“She’s just as fucked up as you are, Lucy.”
Mom shrieked. “Don’t you talk about my daughter that way!”
I shook my head. “Mom. Stop. It isn’t worth it.”
D.J. grinned. “Yeah, Lucy. It’s not worth it.”
I pushed my mother behind me and leveled my eyes with the bullshit excuse of a man on the floor. He stood up and dusted himself off, but I saw his arm and the side of his face bleeding, where the little shards of glass he had splintered all over the ground had come to wreak havoc on his body. I snarled at him and picked up a knife off the kitchen table. He chuckled at me as his eyes fell to the dull instrument in my hand. Then he quirked an eyebrow.
“I have to admit, your mother wouldn't have the guts.”
My eye twitched. “Get out, or I will.”
Mom hissed. “Raelynn.”
I held my hand up to her. “Get the hell out of this house and don’t you ever come back.”
D.J. grinned. “I take it you’re not calling the police, then?”
I shook my head. “I never said that. I only said to get out. I’m more than willing to give you a headstart.”
Mom panicked. “She’s not calling. D.J., I promise she’s not calling.”
I rolled my eyes. Mom sounded pathetic, but I wasn’t afraid of this loser. I hated him. Every ounce of him. And I didn’t care if I had to carve his fucking eyes out with a spoon.
I’d do it just to get him out of our home.
D.J. chuckled. “Think your mom still loves me.”
I nodded. “Maybe so. But she won’t be getting back with you. Not this time. You’ve got five minutes before I call the police. Whether you’re here, or there, it doesn’t matter.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You don’t have the balls, kid.”
I dropped the knife, reaching for my phone. “Want to bet?”
I felt my mother’s hand around my wrist and I had to resist the urge to smack her. To push her down. Because she had endured enough of that in her life. Instead, I wrenched away from her grasp. Stepped away from her and held my finger against the red button on the front of my phone. D.J.’s eyes darted from my finger to my eyes. Again and again. Almost as if he were testing me.
Then I pressed it.
“No! Rae!”
D.J. backed up. “Fuck you both. I’m out.”
“No, D.J. Come back. We can talk this out, please!”
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”
I held the phone to my ear as Mom collapsed on the ground. She sobbed against the glass, not caring that it gouged her knees. Her shins. The palms of her hands. I stared at a carcass of my mother. Unlike the woman I used to know.
Or maybe the mother I thought I had never existed. And I simply grew up.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
I sighed. “Yes. Hi. I’m not really sure if it’s an emergency, but there’s been some domestic issues at my house and I think my mother needs medical help.”
“Sounds like an emergency to me. What’s going on?”
“Her ex boyfriend stormed in and broke a lot of our things. Mom’s bleeding from some glass shards. I also think she might need some mental help.”
Mom slowly looked back at me, and the daggers she shot from her eyes were forever etched into my memory.
“Is the assailant still there?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Do you have a name for him?”
“D.J. I don’t know his last name.”
Mom snarled. “You hang up that phone now.”
I licked my lips. “No, M
om. You need help.”
“What was that?”
I cleared my throat. “Sorry. Are you ready for my address? I won’t be here, I have to go to work and I can’t be late. But I’ll make sure someone keeps my mother here until you arrive.”
I rattled off my address to the 9-1-1 operator. Then I hung up the phone. Mom picked herself up off the floor, but every time she dusted herself off, she created more cuts. My feet crunched over the glass as I wrapped her arm around my shoulders and guided her to the couch, easing her down. She refused to look at me as hot tears burned their way down her cheeks.
Then I spoke my own truth.
A truth I’d wanted to proclaim the last time she pulled this.
“Mom, I need you to stay here.”
She snickered. “No, thanks.”
I sighed. “I know you hate me now, but once you get the help you need—”
“I’m not fucking crazy, Raelynn.”
“No, you’re just depressed, anxious, and addicted to any man who will give you attention because you never healed from Dad leaving.”
And when she didn’t say anything, I brushed her hair back.
“You’re going to stay here and wait for the paramedics to get here. They’re going to offer you help and you’re going to take it. Okay?”
She leaned into the couch, away from my touch. “And if I don’t?”
I stood upright. “Then I'm moving in with Allison and never coming home.”
She snickered. “So you’d leave. Just like your father.”
“If anything, I’m the only one who’s stayed and fought for you. Fought with you. But I can’t fight against you any longer. I’m tired. I’m eighteen years old. I’m at a point where I’m about to go live my own life. And you expect me to dig you out of your messes and pay your bills and watch you tramp around with men coming in and out of this house at all hours of the night. What kind of life is that for me?”
She refused to meet my stare. “I can change, you know.”