by Hart, Rebel
I paused. “What?”
“Travel, Clint. The best thing you could do for your writing is to travel.”
37
Raelynn
I sat in my bed, scrolling through all sorts of things on the internet. And all the while, I thought about Clint. I wanted to call him. I wanted to text him. I wanted to see how he was doing. But I also suspected he didn’t want to hear from me. Not right now, at least. So I dove into the list he gave me. That typed-up piece of paper that held so many options for me.
And the one I kept gravitating back to made me curious.
I searched through airfare and hotel deals online. I looked up how much it would be to rent a car in some places and jotted down a budget on the back of that sheet of paper. The only option on his list that gave me any sort of peace was traveling. Working, and traveling, and living off just what I needed. Things were still expensive, though. I’d have to dip into the money I’d saved up in order to get to a few places. But I did find a lot of ways to cut costs.
Like booking rooms that were cancelled at the last minute. And using coupons for Air B&Bs. And taking trains all around Europe instead of being hellbent on flying.
Walking around instead of always taking cabs.
The suggestion to travel had worked its way underneath my skin. It took over my dreams last night as I tossed and turned. I couldn’t shake it either. I figured once I drew up a schematic of the costs of something like this, I’d be swayed away from it. Back to the original plan of going to college. Getting a degree. Living my life by the book.
But the more I researched, the more I found myself trying to make it work.
I mean, no teachers? No homework? No stressing out about midterms or deadlines or schedules? It sounded like a damn dream. Learning on my own time by submerging myself into an atmosphere I’d never get in a classroom. And it wasn’t as if the traveling and the working and the learning would cost me that much more than college. The thought made me excited. Not anxious, like school always had.
But what about Clint?
Adding another person to the traveling picture automatically increased all the prices. Airfare. Food. Cab rides. Even train tickets. I wouldn't be able to foot the bill on my own. Not by a long shot. And I knew Clint felt compelled to stay behind and help take care of Cecilia. I couldn't blame him for that, either. Not after she took him in as her own.
The thought of leaving him behind to travel made me sick to my stomach, though.
I made a list of all the places I wanted to visit. London and Galway. Belize and Rio De Janeiro. Costa Rica and the fields of Scotland and those tulip gardens I always saw online. They were located in the Netherlands, I found out. So I added that to my list. There were so many places I wanted to see. So much I wanted to learn. So many places where I could apply the skills I already had to scrape up some extra cash to do extra things. Like indulge in the country’s finer foods and go on train tours around Italy’s wineries and sip all their fantastic blends.
Clint would enjoy something like that.
I sighed as I flipped over to airplane flights. I started typing in some of these locations, seeing how much it would take for me to fly out of LAX. Most of the prices were what I expected. Especially for one-way international flights. But I did come across one particular airline running a deal on their international flights.
Specifically, to Rome.
“I wonder how long that’s lasting,” I murmured.
I started reading the fine print. And with every word I devoured, my soul soared with delight. Holy shit. They were running this special for all sorts of international flights. Ones to the Polynesian Islands. Others to Australia. And the Rome flight? It was less than half the cost it usually was for business class. My stomach burst to life with butterflies. The deal lasted for the next week. That meant that if I played my cards right, I could be in Europe in four days.
“Four days,” I whispered.
I smiled at the thought. My soul felt at peace and my heart felt fuller than it had in, well, ever. Tears of happiness rushed my eyes. And as the feeling overwhelmed me, I slid out of bed, stood to my feet and shook my arms out, trying to expel the excess energy that had crept up in my body. Rome. In four days.
This is what going to college should feel like.
I hadn’t understood this excitement Michael and Allison had for their future until now. I paced my room and continued scrolling through my phone. I bookmarked the purchase page for those flights and started looking up hotel deals. Bungalows in the area. Comparing prices and drawing up a mental budget in my head.
“Yes!” I exclaimed.
Air B&B had a fantastic deal on a studio apartment with a great view. I favorited it and flipped back over to the freelance website. One of the many Clint had jotted down for me. If I could get my English tutoring thing up and running, even if I worked the bare minimum required for the site, that would cover my train tickets all around Europe. A few cab fares, too. That meant my travel costs would drop substantially and give me more wiggle room with my initial budget.
“Oh, my gosh,” I whispered.
I rushed out of my room and ran down the stairs. I tucked my phone into my bra and scrambled to get my purse. I pulled it over my shoulder as I ran around downstairs, making sure I had everything I needed.
“Honey? You okay?” Mom asked.
“I’ll be back later, love you!” I exclaimed.
Then I ripped the front door open.
“Be safe, honey! Text me when you get--!”
“I’ll call later, Mom. Bye!”
“Where are you going!?”
I didn’t bother answering her question.
I ran up the street, making my way for the exit of the neighborhood. With a renewed sense of vigor flooding my veins, my legs pumped as fast as they could go. My lungs filled with fresh air as I turned the corner and rushed across the street. I didn’t know how long it would take me to run to Clint’s. I didn't know when I’d get there. I had to talk to him, though. Face to face.
And I needed to do something with this excess energy I’d never experienced before.
Unless I was around him, of course.
38
Clinton
“Hey, Ma!”
“Yeah, Clint?”
“You sure it’s okay that I use your car for the afternoon?”
“Yep! I’m just going to be around here cleaning. And I have another dinner date tonight, so feel free to stay out if you want.”
I grinned. “He picking you up?”
She popped her head into my room. “He is. Why?”
I peeked over at her. “You not wanting me to meet him yet?”
“It’s not like I’m keeping you a secret. But we aren’t at that point where I want to start introducing him to family and all that nonsense.”
“Well, make sure he treats you right. Because if he doesn’t--”
“Yeah, yeah. I know the rundown.”
I smiled. “Good.”
I didn’t know much about this man Ma was dating. Well, other than the fact that they’d been doing dinner a lot lately. She seemed happy enough with him. Which was all that mattered. But the idea of her dating someone she didn’t want me to meet did rub me the wrong way. I knew it wasn’t an insult or anything. Just her taking things slowly. I just didn’t want her misjudging someone and ending up with another man like my father.
Gotta give her more credit than that.
I was envious of her, really. For being able to have the strength to move on like she was. I would’ve never been able to do that. Hell, I was still having a hard time doing that. And I never proclaimed to love my father. There were moments where I wanted to do nothing else except call him. Talk to him. Get some sage advice he’d been holding back his entire life. There was nothing more I wanted than someone guiding me through this life. Showing me the path I needed to carve for myself.
Ma already gave you that advice.
I sighed. I knew I wasn’t being
fair to her. I don't know, I guess I was just coping with the idea of never having the kind of father I wanted. The kind of father I needed. And that would take time. Either way, I was looking forward to heading over to Mike’s. I needed some guy time after the shit from this weekend. I was glad he’d called. Though, I’d kind of hoped Rae would have called me by now.
Just give her space. It’s what she needs right now to make her decision.
“Clint?”
“Yeah, Ma?”
“Rae’s here for you.”
My eyes widened and I leapt toward my bedroom door. I stared down the small hallway and saw her standing there, sweat dripping down her brow. Ma handed her a glass of ice water before ushering her in. I couldn't believe my eyes.
Rae was here.
“Why are you so sweaty?” I asked.
She chugged the ice water back before setting the glass down on our small kitchen table. She was panting. Still sweating. And as Ma went to refill her glass, she walked toward me, her eyes never leaving mine.
“I ran here,” she said breathlessly.
My eyebrows rose. “You what?”
“Here, have another glass,” Ma said.
Rae took it and chugged it back, groaning as it went down. I peeked over at Ma and she shrugged her shoulders, then nodded her head to my bedroom. Yes, Rae and I needed to talk. Something she had been encouraging me to do. I’d be late for Mike’s. But what the hell.
I could send him a text and things would be fine.
“Can we talk?” Rae asked.
“Sure. You want a shower first?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No, no. I’m good. But we really need to talk.”
I nodded. “Yeah, we do.”
I ushered her into my room and took one last look at Ma. At the flick of her wrist, I closed the door behind me. I turned around and saw Rae pacing the room and wringing her hands together. Despite the fact that she had sweated a ring around her T-shirt and her hair was matted to her face, she kept moving. Refusing to rest.
“Rae, you need t--”
“I need to travel,” she blurted out.
I blinked. “You… made a decision.”
She sighed. “Honestly, it’s a decision I should’ve thought about sooner. Something that should have occurred to me. Then, maybe, I wouldn't have made such a terrible mess of everything. You know, me acting like a total psycho and losing my mind.”
“Do you want to sit?”
“Actually, no. I don’t. I’m so full of energy that I just…”
I cocked my head. “You look happy.”
She smiled brightly. “I am happy. Clint, I was scared. Fucking petrified of committing to something I didn’t want. I mean, college has always been the plan. Get out, get away, get my own place. But the underlying reason was the issue. I didn’t want college for me. I wanted it to get away from Mom. To get out of here. To leave this shit behind and never look back.”
“I mean, it makes sense.”
“In a lot of respects, Michael was right. At the restaurant, you know?”
“How do you figure?”
She ran a trembling hand through her hair. “I am jealous of you.”
I blinked. “Wait, what?”
She sighed. “I’m jealous. You don’t know much about your future, but you knew college wasn’t for you. And you were brave enough to make that decision. I wasn’t. I caved to my fears. To this idea that things would magically work out if I kept not thinking about it. And yes, I know how stupid that sounds. But I’m jealous of your bravery. Of at least partially knowing what you kind of want.”
“I don’t have it together as much as you think I do.”
She took my hands. “That’s the thing, Clint. You do. You knew school wasn’t for you. You know your writing is. You have a place here, with Cecilia. I don’t have any of that.”
“You have a place here with me.”
She blinked. “Do I really?”
I furrowed my brow. “Of course you do. Last time I checked, we were together. Still in love. Going through a rough time, sure. But still together.”
She smiled. “You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.”
“Rae, what’s going on?”
She kissed my hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. The guilt is eating me alive that I let things come to this. I don’t think there are words I can string together to tell you just how sorry I am. Because you're the person that has been there with me through everything. And you didn’t deserve what happened this weekend.”
When her eyes came back up to mine, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I pulled away from her hands and cupped her cheeks, my eyes dancing between hers. She looked different. Seemed different. She held herself a bit differently, and I knew a great deal had changed.
She looked lighter on her feet.
Just like I felt.
“It’s okay, Rae. I forgave you the morning after.”
She shook her head. “You shouldn't have. You can be angry. It’s okay to be angry. And you can yell at me. Say anything you want to say. You can--”
I dropped my lips to hers, silencing her words with a kiss. Her hands fell around my wrists as a smile crossed my face. I kissed her lips again. And again. I captured her lower lip softly between my teeth. I felt her take a step toward me. Her hands slid up my arms before sliding down my chest. I cloaked her body with my wingspan, feeling her mold to me as our foreheads fell together.
“Shut up, Rae. I love you. And I just want you to be happy.”
She snickered. “Then kiss me again, you big lug.”
I crashed my lips against hers and my tongue fell into her mouth. She battled me for control as I backed her toward my bed. All thoughts of heading to Mike’s completely fell away from my mind. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, but I didn’t bother to answer it. My hands splayed along Rae’s back. I held her close to me as we tumbled to bed. And as I stripped her of her damp clothes, the smell of her womanhood filled my nostrils.
“Oh, Rae.”
I growled as I kissed down her neck. The salted taste of her skin had my cock pulsing for more of her. I wrapped my lips around her pert nipples. I felt her rolling against me as she pressed herself further up my bed. With my face between her breasts, I shed my pants. I stepped out of my shoes and leaned up just enough to rip my shirt over my head.
And when Rae’s eyes fell upon my body, she licked her lips.
“Come here, handsome.”
I knelt against the mattress. I crawled to her, stalking her. Like the prey meant for my lunch. My lips fell to her calf and she sighed, lying down against my pillow. Her legs spread for me. I watched her body unfurl for me, her lower lips glistening with want. I kissed up the inside of her thigh. The heat of her smell battered against my face as I slid her legs over my shoulders. I massaged her with my hands. I felt her muscles jumping as I nibbled at the dollop of excess on her inner thigh.
Then, I let my tongue slide all the way up her slit.
“Clint, yes.”
I grinned. “Ma’s still here. Might wanna keep it down.”
She picked up a pillow and pressed it over her face. An action that made me chuckle. I lapped up her slit again, feeling her shiver as she groaned against the soft surface. I wrapped my arms around her thighs, pulling her as close as I could get her. I felt her heat encompassing my lips as I played her like the fiddle she had become. Her body was an instrument I had mastered. I knew exactly how to make her buck. How to make her moan. How to make her shiver and ache with need. My tongue traced the familiar track, tasting her before I swallowed her down. And as my finger slid into her pulsing entrance, her back arched.
“Clint!”
I’d never get tired of hearing her call out my name.
39
Raelynn
I pressed the pillow against my face as he buried himself between my legs. He bent them forward, pressing my knees against my chest with his forearm. His fingers filled me, pumping as I
reached my peak of ecstasy. Fire ignited behind my eyes and all thoughts of traveling fell away from my mind. All I thought about was him. How me made my heart soar. How he made my soul complete. And as my toes curled deeper with every stroke of his tongue, I wailed into the pillow.
“Clint, that’s it. Right there. Right there. Right the--”
My body locked out and my legs fell hard against the mattress. I felt the pillow being ripped away from my face before his lips fell against mine once more. I kissed him deeply. I licked myself off his skin. And as he eased his aching dick inside my body, it solidified what I was thinking.
I couldn't travel without him.
I wouldn't.
My nails slid down his back. I felt every single muscle on his body rolling and jumping for my pleasure. We moved as one, our eyes never parting. I felt his heart beating against my chest, matching the rhythm of my own. I breathed the air he afforded me. I couldn't stop smiling up at him. With my legs locked around his waist, I fell deeper into the boy I loved.
Oh, no, no.
The man I loved.
“You’re perfect, Rae.”
I gasped. “Clint, please.”
“I’ll never leave you behind. Never.”
“Clint, yeah.”
“You’re mine. Always. Until you tell me to leave.”
“Never. Don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I--”
He growled. “Stop it. Tell me what I long to hear.”
His hips snapped against mine before he ground his pelvis into my aching clit.
“I love you, Clint.”
He grunted. “Again.”
“I love you so much.”
“Louder.”
“I love you! Oh, fu--”
His mouth swallowed my sounds while his tongue explored me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down against my body. I couldn't get enough of him. I needed him closer. I needed him filling every part of me. The way he kissed me. The way he fucked me. The way he made love to me. I needed it in my life.