by Annie Dyer
“Not enough to not get off with someone else. Please don’t let me walk in on you giving someone else a blow job, Immy. I don’t think I can cope with that again.” I picked up my cup, wincing at how pale the tea was and deciding not to add milk.
Imogen shook her head. “These lips haven’t tasted a dick for at least five years. They’re not going to start offering that favour now.”
“Noted.” I tried to keep the amusement off my face.
She didn’t see what I couldn’t hide.
“I didn’t mean that I wouldn’t with…. Shit. I’ll shut up now.”
I started laughing. “No, please continue.”
She blushed, turning her head to the window. “You need to read that agreement.”
“I will. Is there anything in there about blow jobs?”
Imogen choked on her tea, putting her cup down and spluttering. I couldn’t not carry on laughing.
“You rotten sod! There will be in version two, just for that!” She finished her tea. “Sorry, that wasn’t very ladylike.”
I shrugged. “I don’t really care. Save your manners for Lady S.”
“Not your grandfather?”
“He never did care about manners, not with us. He was more about having fun and laughing. He still is.”
I told her more about him until Malcolm came to fetch us for champagne, and then I remembered to put my arm around her waist as we walked into the kitchen where my grandfather was stationed, a beaming smile across his face, Caroline next to him, looking proud and happy.
“Noah! My boy!” He stood up without looking shaky and wrapped me in a huge hug as if he we hadn’t spent an hour or so this afternoon playing chess.
I stiffened my spine, expecting Grandfa to have no idea who Imogen was, or why she was there. This was part of dementia; knowing who someone was or what was happening just fine one moment, then having no knowledge the next.
But he remembered. “Imogen! You’re just as beautiful as I expected you to be. And Noah said you were clever too. My Caroline’s clever, and my Elizabeth was too. You can’t beat having a smart woman by your side.” He’d taken Imogen's hand, raising it to his lips and kissing the top of it. “We must have champagne to celebrate.”
I glanced at Caroline, who was wearing probably the same expression I was: total surprise and joy. We knew he would decline, that there was no cure, but moments like this made us think that we might have just a little longer.
Malcolm popped the bottle and poured a glass each, serving it with a smile instead of his usual poker face. Grandfa smiled and chatted, repeating himself a little, and asking Imogen the same question at least three times.
Not that she showed she noticed. She answered politely, teasing him back when she could and talking to Caroline. For a good hour, this felt more real than any of the last few months with Carla, and all too real.
Even I believed I was getting married to a woman I was in love with.
Chapter Eight
Imogen
“You’re getting married.”
It was the third time she’d said the same question, and the third time I’d nodded. We were in the disabled toilet at the Callaghan Green offices, probably the only space where we wouldn’t be invaded by someone who wanted something, or Seph, although I wouldn’t have been surprised if he managed to climb through the fake ceiling to get in here. Since telling her, I’d managed to avoid giving her any further details, which had been a feat for which I deserved some sort of honour.
“Imogen Margaret Green, I need details! I needed them when you told me and you didn’t give me any then, so I need them now else you’re going to die a slow and painful death in here.” Georgia had sat down on the vanity unit.
I was desperately hoping that she’d knock the tap on by mistake and end up with a wet backside.
I’d pretty much been kidnapped. Georgia had lured me in with the promise of a secret and then managed to block the door every time I’d tried to escape so far.
“Let’s start with where the ring is.”
I settled down on the toilet lid, thankful that there was no hideous aroma, and refusing to think about what else may have gone on in here.
“I’m getting it soon. It’s a family heirloom.” Alister, Noah’s grandfather, had noticed I wasn’t wearing a ring and then had insisted I had one that ‘came from the family’.
Noah had looked at me apologetically, but I’d just smiled. I didn’t care about a new fancy ring – I wouldn’t have done even if it had been a real engagement – although I was going to add it to the agreement that the ring be returned to the Soames family when we divorced.
“And how? When? I need the details!” Georgia was far far too excited for her own health – and possibly Seph’s.
I bit my lips together. I needed an ally in this, and that couldn’t be my sisters because they’d have far too much to say. And Claire. She already knew too much.
Georgia had become my closest friend in London since I’d moved here, even though she was Seph’s fiancée. I knew she would keep a secret if it wouldn’t do any harm, and I did need to tell someone.
“This is between me and you…”
“Ooooh, is this about dick size? Does he have a really small one?” Georgia squealed at a pitch that almost only dogs could hear.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean? Are you waiting for your wedding night? Maybe I should tell Seph that and he might set a date quicker…”
“We’re not… Jesus, this is awkward. You tell no one. On Seph’s life, you don’t mention this to anyone.”
She fell quiet. “It’s okay, Imogen, you can tell me if this is so he can stay in the country. I’ll lie for you.” She clutched her heart.
“Stop it. This is serious. Promise not to tell anyone.”
“Promise. I’m just too giddy to be serious.” She sat up straighter. “Tell me.”
“It’s a fake marriage. I’m doing him a favour.”
Her mouth opened and shut a few times. “What? Come again?”
“He wants to get married while his grandfather is able to be there, and his engagement with Carla Corrigan ended…”
“There was an interview with her yesterday about how they’d ended it a couple of months ago, and finally decided it was a permanent split recently. I wondered if it was because he’d met back up with you. But what do you mean this is a fake engagement? You’re not in love with him?” She looked hurt. “But you can’t spend your life with someone you don’t love, Imogen. Trust me on that.”
I smiled. She was so smitten with Seph it was painful. “It’s temporary. This gets his mother off his back, means his grandfather can be there at his wedding, and I get eleven months without any horrendous dates.”
Georgia looked a little guilty. “Have they really been that bad?”
I nodded. “Do you remember Darren – the man I went to El Gato Blanca the other week?”
“I love El Gato Blanca.” She smiled. “I might book there for my next date night with Seph.”
“Just tell him that’s where you want to go, and he might hire the restaurant for you.” I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, Darren chose it there because he considered himself an expert on Spanish culture and food, which meant I had the entire menu mansplained, he wouldn’t let me order, and after the meal, he demanded to speak to the chef and gave him a full review on each dish. In really bad Spanish.” I folded my arms. The only reason I hadn’t walked out was because I’d been starving. I’d fully intended to slip away with the excuse of going to the bathroom, only he’d somehow kept stopping me from going.
“What did you do?”
“Waited for him to finish, then gave the chef my own review in fluent Spanish, along with my apologies. I don’t think Darren understood – he stormed off and left me with the bill, after telling me that I’d been taking the piss out of him all night, and I wasn’t the sort of woman he wanted to be the mother of his children any way.” It hadn’t been the best of dat
es, but worryingly, neither had it been the worst.
Georgia burst out laughing. “I didn’t realise it was getting that bad. But that’s no reason to give up dating for an entire year, although Noah Soames is very attractive.” She put her hands over her face like she was playing peekaboo with one of the Callaghan babies, then peered at me through her fingers. “You’re seriously marrying someone for a favour?”
“Yes. In about six weeks. In a Scottish stately home. You’re invited, obviously.” I pressed my lips together and waited for her response. “I might never have the opportunity to get married, given the way things are going, and this stops all the nagging and pressure to meet someone. I know it sounds like a crazy idea, but actually, it’s not. It’s an arrangement that benefits us both.”
“People have married for worse reasons. Do you actually like him?” She slipped off the vanity unit and leaned against the back of the door.
I nodded. “I liked him when we were at school. He’s a nice guy – very posh, but not stuck up. He’s also pretty gorgeous, which helps.” And an amazing kisser, but I wasn’t ready to share that with Georgia yet. I wanted to keep it all for me. The kiss had melted me. When I’d initiated it, I’d expected him to be shocked, to back away and blow our story to his butler – who has a butler? – but his follow through had made my knees tremble and everything south combust.
It had been everything a first kiss should’ve been, which was why any clause I’d been planning about not allowing sex while we were married had been scrapped, even though it could be a bad idea in the long run.
Truth was, Noah was exactly the type of man I could fall in love with, only my heart wasn’t part of the deal.
“You’re not telling your family about this though?” She looked sympathetic. “They won’t get it.”
I nodded. “Agreed. The backstory’s straightforward. We met, fell in love, Noah was already separated from Carla, but between the issues with the pre-nup and finding her blowing off the guy from Made in Wherever, he was going to end it permanently, and after we reconnected – it was a no brainer. We’re rushing it through because we want to and because of his grandfather. Simple.”
“Until you fall for him and it’s not so simple anymore.” Her smile was gentle. “Imogen, you must’ve had something really strong for him when you were younger, else you’d never have agreed to do this. This isn’t you, even though you can be impulsive sometimes.”
“I’ve nothing to lose.”
“Except your heart.”
I shrugged. “So the worst that happens is that I fall for him and he doesn’t feel the same way back. That could happen with any man I meet, Georgie – but let’s face it, none I was meeting recently were going to tick that box. And for a year I get to live in a massive house in London and live a life I’d never experience otherwise. I can’t think of too many downsides to that, can you?”
“He might have a really kinky side that he wants you to be part of. You know, visiting sex clubs or something.” Her eyes blazed.
I debated teasing her about Seph’s kinks, but decided I wouldn’t want to know, just in case she disclosed something. Then I remembered that kiss; how it’d gone from all me, to him taking control, his hand pressing against my ass, making me close enough to him that I could feel the steel of his thick erection pressed up against my stomach. It had taken a lot to not grind up against him, but I had the feeling he wouldn’t have cared.
“He has! I can tell by the look on your face that he has!” Georgia started to giggle just like her daughter did, only about something I hoped Rose would never understand. At least not until she was old enough.
“I don’t know. Maybe he has. Maybe there are sex clubs we don’t know about for the really rich only. If there are, I won’t be telling you about it.” I shook my head. “And you can’t say anything.” A loud banging on the door stopped me from saying anything else.
“Georgia, are you okay? You’ve been ages in there.” Seph shouted through the door far louder than what was necessary.
She opened the door so he could see both of us there.
“Girl stuff,” she said. “And not like what you were thinking. We were talking about tampons and period pants.”
My cousin pulled a face and shook his head. “Too much information. Anyway, Max wants a quick partners’ meeting about the interviews next week. Have you done talking about period pants? What are period pants anyway?”
“Something I’m going to send you out to buy next time I need some.” She reached down and pinched his ass, making him pull an arm around her and hug her into his side, his laugh too dirty for work.
That was what I wanted. I just wasn’t sure whether I was walking away from finding it any time soon.
Noah picked me up at seven to take me to dinner in a restaurant where we’d definitely be seen by both people in society and a few media people. It was chosen specifically to lay the ground work for the upcoming announcement of our engagement in another few weeks, the idea being we’d announce it to friends and family in two weeks, when they’d heard the story of how he and Carla had been apart for some time, then make the newspaper announcement two weeks before the wedding.
One of the things I’d learned about Noah during the course of the day, was that he was surprisingly efficient at getting things done, and planning. Via text messages, we’d agreed to a date, he’d booked a vicar, sorted out caterers – family connections had helped - and had put me in touch with a florist and event management team he’d managed to secure at short notice, probably by paying well over the usual fee. He’d also told me how taken his grandfather had been with me, which was the main thing. I liked Alister; he was a gentleman, but not stuffy, and he seemed to genuinely love his grandson.
We were off to Cloud Above, a trendy Michelin starred restaurant I hadn’t been to before and had been desperate to try, and a spectacular venue for our first ‘date’, because this was what it kind of was, or maybe our second, because our first kiss had already happened.
A limo paused outside our house bang on time, making Maven, the only sister who was in, shriek and become completely over excited. She had a rare night off work herself, and a date with someone from theatreland, which would go the same way all of her dates did – painfully boring with them ending up friends.
“Immy! He’s here! Or maybe it’s just the limo – I can’t see inside! I can’t believe you’re going out with Noah Soames!” Her shouting could probably be heard the other side of the Thames.
I only hoped the limo was soundproofed.
“I know. I can see.” I pushed my foot into a shoe that had no right to be that high without a warning, as I left my bedroom, Maven glued to the window in our very messy lounge. Living together meant the three of us had reverted to our teenage selves, something our mother or Aunt Marie would go ballistic over should they turn up unexpectedly.
I felt horrendous for not telling my sisters what was going on. I had debated telling Lainey, given she wasn’t in London and she was pretty good at keeping secrets, but then I felt bad for thinking about telling her and not the other two.
“Wow.” Her gaze left the window and looked at me. “You look fuckable.”
I glanced down at my outfit. It was a wrap over silk mini-dress that made my legs look climbable, they looked that long. It was also comfy, and I could eat without worrying about the food baby it would create. It looked classy, the lack of cleavage made up for with the legs, and the emerald green was different. My shoes actually belonged to Catrin, the sister who was still at work in one of her galleries, which meant she wasn’t there to tell me I couldn’t borrow them. They were strappy gold sandals with heels that could murder a man, and they did something else to the dress to make it pop all the more. I’d twisted my hair in a lose knot, with tendrils dropping down, kept my eyes smoky and my lips a shade redder than nude, and my jewellery simple.
“Hope so.” I smiled, feeling far more nervous than I was going to let on.
“Go get Noa
h Soames. He was so nice when he was at school. And gorgeous. Can’t wait to see what he looks like now.”
“Well you won’t be finding out tonight.” I popped my lipstick in my purse, one I’d stolen from Maven, only she hadn’t noticed. “And I’ll be back before midnight.”
Maven giggled. “Like fuck you will.”
Noah was in the limo when I eventually got there, Maven delaying me by insisting on adding to my smoky eye. His greeting was to offer me a glass of champagne and then stare at my legs.
“Do they end?” He eventually lifted his eyes to my face. “You must have set the world record for the longest legs.”
I laughed, sitting down opposite. “It’s the dress and the shoes. They create some kind of optical illusion. This is a treat.” I looked around the insides of the limo.
“I figured I’d impress you now before you have to meet my mother. Or brothers. They know, by the way.”
His eyes hadn’t left me yet. I felt like he was drinking me in, every inch of skin another drop. My pulse started to raise, and I felt my breath becoming heavier.
Having a man who looked like Noah, sitting there in a tux without the tie, the top button undone, was making my temperature rise far too high. How on earth I was going to walk down an aisle towards him without declaring my undying lust, was an answer I just didn’t have.
“They know this is fake?”
He nodded. “They won’t say anything, and they’ll help keep things running smoothly. Managing Lady S is like a commando operation. My mother isn’t the easiest person. She isn’t cruel or horrible, she’s just very Lady Soames, if that explains anything.”
“Kind of.”
We fell silent, me trying not to look at him, but him not looking anywhere else but me.
“You look beautiful, by the way. I can’t get over how bloody gorgeous you are. Why the hell are you agreeing to marry me?”
I felt my eyes well up and blinked quickly, having no idea why that had made me emotional and really not wanting to ruin my make-up.