it becomes nothing…
On the other hand, if nothing could divide our love,
Then it becomes an infinite love”
Differentiating (constant) =0
Constant/0=infinity.
Later, I understood two things. One was that Sakthi was good in maths and the other was that he was also like me; that is he too was in love with some girl.
I started to like him because he was, in fact, similar to me. I loved someone, and I was afraid to express it. He must also be just like that or else he would not have hidden what he wrote.
27.TRAPPED (BY THE TREES AND EXAMS):
During the winter season, the trees that were soaked by the rain; the droplets that were accumulated on the leaves, waiting to fall straight on my head; the benches underneath those trees; the scent that prevailed by the combination of all these, never allowed me to go to the class. They always begged to me,
“Sit here for five minutes,” like our grandparents asking for our time to hear their stories.
After that they would say to me,
“Dream about your girl as you doesn’t have any other pleasant thing in your life other than this."
I would be sitting on it, sometimes for the whole day. Those were the main reasons that caused the poor attendance percentage for the class. Most of the days went like that and then soon our semester examinations began.
I had not prepared anything for my semester examination. Though Sakthi also hadn’t read or prepared anything, I liked to believe that he would write the exam well because he had some prenatal powers of knowledge.
In the morning, I first woke him up at 6’o clock, and I slept. He went to sleep after five minutes. Then he woke me up at 7’o clock and he went back to sleep. I went to sleep on at 7.01 AM. At last my other roommate woke both of us at 8’o clock.
Then Sakthi gave me some quick review of the few important questions. I grasped some of them, and as it was our first semester, the subjects were somewhat related to our twelfth standard, so I hoped to get pass marks.
I entered the exam hall, and I got the question paper. I searched for a question to attend from the available questions like a man searching for a new pair of slippers from the available pairs to compensate the one he lost in the marriage ceremony.
For the one-word questions, I managed with “Inkie, Pinkie and Ponky." I had a good faith in them. At least, I would be getting half the answers right whenever I adopted this technique.
First semester was over. We all said goodbye to all our new budding friendships, as we would be meeting each other only after a month of semester holidays. Everyone planned their schedule for his or her holidays. I was worried about those holidays because I could at least kill the time if I was in the college. Being at home and being idle would make me go mad especially towards her.
Every time when I went away from my college to my home, all I would be thinking was that,
“Won’t I see her today?”
Yearning for this, my eyes would be searching for my girl with the thought that she might be hiding amongst every girl I could see.
During the semester holidays, all our school friends met each other. I was happy as well as sad that I found most of my school friends, except her. I was keen on asking about the college she had joined but like me, all of my other friends were also unaware of the college she had joined.
It was mainly because of the fact that in our school, boys and girls rarely conversed with each other as our school was a highly dignified one. She was even more dignified than our school that she wouldn’t talk with most of the boys. Some other boys, who had some close relationships with some other girls of our class, would know the college she was studying, but I was not in contact with them. So in fact, knowing the college she would be studying in was a mystified mystery to my brain.
Another semester ended with this thought of finding a solution to this mystery. The second semester in a college life always moves so fast. As days went, as we shared our paste, shampoo and other things with each other, we started sharing our thoughts and our secrets of love kept locked in our hearts for these days.
I told my full story of love to Sakthi. He told his love story, his school sweet heart. He explained about how beautiful she was. He said that her phenomenal Indian complexion was just like the wheat flour grinded along with the yellow daffodils, her green eyes and protruding lips could never be found so bewitching in any other girls. He told me, unlike me he had been expecting someone to demonstrate him what love meant. And when he met her, he couldn’t control falling in love with her.
28.HAUNTING MEMORIES:
I never hesitated to take his things or give my things. Similarly, he never hesitated to give his things or take mine. Whenever I was in a problem, I would say “I am alright”, yet he would understand and run to be with me. I would tell some lies for his happiness but he would identify the truth beneath my lies. I would go with him when he was right and he would support me even when I was wrong.
At first, we were strangers. As time went we became accustomed to each other, then we named our acquaintance as friendship. As the wheels of time rotated, we both understood that we were not only friends but also enemies sometimes. We argued with each other, we quarrelled and fought with each other most of the times, yet we never let those blades to slash the friendship thread that tied both of our hearts.
Though there were many friends I hung on with Sakthi. Every friend is special, and a best friend is something of a jewel. Like Sakthi Praveen was to me.
Whenever I was depressed when thinking about my life without her, I drew sustenance from his words. Whenever he was dejected I was there as the sustenance. But at times we both got depressed, so we had no other options than approaching the Master. It was during the second year, that Sakthi and I started to go the temple in our college daily.
We went to the temple because we found that to be a serene place, which offered patience and confidence to our wishes.
Perhaps, I was indeed angry with God…
I always believed in the existence of him
I always prayed to him
I always shared all my happenings with him
I have always been like a trusted friend to him
And I always have been unselfish to him
But how selfish he was really
“Oh! God how silly he was
He doesn’t want to give her to me
Because he was afraid that
I may forget him if I get her…”
Even in the temple, my mind would revolve around her thoughts only. The Earth cannot do without revolving the Sun, isn’t it?
It would take 15 minutes by walk from our hostel to the temple. And we spent nearly 30 minutes in the temple just by sitting inside it idly.
On some days, when we finished our laboratory work early, we would have plenty of hours so we both went to see some of the movies. In that turn, we never missed even one of the romantic movies that came at that time. We went to the bus stops and travelled to the places, which we never heard of, and returned only when we wished. We explored new places in our college.
We were lucky enough that we had a beach (it was a shore to be said absolutely) very near to our college. It was at a walking distance, only a few Kilometres away. We went to that beach and sometimes we even slept on its sand. For our love minds the shore was same like a beautiful background for an attractive photograph.
In that place, we discussed about how our future would be, he often asked how we would be after five years. We conjured the things lying ahead in our lives. Sometimes they brought us tears and sometimes they brought us the smiles. On that day, I asked him how the day of his marriage would be. He was the one, who talked about it often.
He then started demonst
rating about his day of marriage:
I am sitting there as the groom, a groom who is little nervous and fully excited about being the centre of attraction. The floor bedecked with the red carpet, the aromas of blithe and different flowers of various colours are wide-spread over the whole place. The pleasing music of the marriage eve can be heard everywhere.
Almost all our friends and relatives have gathered in the place to visualise the happening of a heavenly marriage. It is my day and her day- our day. Our parents made all the arrangements in the mint condition with a keen focus that the day falls short of nothing, in terms of anything.
The relatives and friends have been busy with their colloquial talks, yet their eyes clearly focussed on me. I am little afraid that I can never be a perfect match to her, in terms of appearance, but my fear vanished when I saw our parents’ faces. In our parents’ face, a hundred splendid suns glowed together flaunting their happiness.
The pressure in my brain rose a bit every minute, because I have never been at the centre of attention like this before. Wearing the traditional Indian costume, my body smelled with the Red Sandals, which my mother applied all over me before, soothed my mood.
As a feast to the eyes of everyone, she came downstairs with her slow steps like a swan. The musical notes of Nadhswaram gained their pitch and their volume too rose highlighting the entry of the moon-faced bride. My tension got a little relieved because, as soon as the people’s gaze caught her
In Love : Once & Forever Page 14