Both the boys nod their heads. Anger takes over again as I think about the hell that I went through. Was it all just to keep their disgusting little secret?
“I’ll tell them now! Today! Take me to this...this council of yours! I will tell them everything!” I fume, shaking with the rage that I feel like a live wire beneath my skin.
Ryker shakes his head. “It is too late. They have been found innocent. Once acquitted, you cannot be retried. Much like the human justice system, this is angelic law. Even if they admitted it, noting would come of it. It is done.”
“Done? Just like that? They almost killed me, and I am supposed to just accept that it is done because some fancy, smancy, angel asshole society says so?”
“Afraid so Angel,” Zane says, studying me with eyes that see too much.
“And now we have ten minutes until class starts. We really do have to go love. Wanda is back, and she is in rare form,” Ryker says. He takes my hand and pulls me into the living room. He reaches behind the couch, pulling out a soft pink bookbag. With a gentleness that is so unlike him, he places it on my shoulders.
“What about Zane?” I ask, my eyes searching for him as Ryker pulls me to the door. It’s stupid, and totally irrational, but I am afraid to leave Zane. Afraid that if I leave him now, that I will never see him again.
“Zane isn’t an angel love. He isn’t even supposed to be here. He can’t come. He will be here when you return. He wouldn’t..... He isn’t the type to leave without saying goodbye,” Ryker says. It is almost as if he can sense the underlying reason for my hesitation. He looks from his best friend to me, a look of worry crossing his face before he tucks it behind his signature grin. “Now, let’s go.”
Unable to think of a solid reason to stay, I let Ryker pull me to the door. As soon as it opens, a shadow blocks my path.
“I thought you left?” I say, unable to keep the hurt from my voice as Jaxon turns back around. His thundercloud eyes scan my face, his lips tilting up into the crooked smile that I love so damn much that it makes breathing a real struggle.
“I did,” he says honestly. “I came back.”
Hope flares like a mirage in my heart, dangling what I want in front of me. Close....so very close, until his next sentence steals that hope away.
“Wanda has summoned you to her office Princess. It seems that you have a visitor.” The way that he says visitor, like it is dirty and wrong sets off about a million alarm bells in my head.
“Who?” I ask, wondering who would want to see me that isn’t already here.
“Your mother,” Jaxon growls, his eyes flashing with a hint of something that I don’t understand as he steps into my personal space.
It has gone deathly quiet behind me. So quiet that I can hear the rapid rise and fall of my breath as I try to pretend that Jaxon’s proximity doesn’t get to me.
“My....my mom’s here?” I ask, my heart filling with joy. I hadn’t realized how much that I missed her until this moment. Genny Madison may not be the best mom, but she is mine. When all is said and done, and you are scared and hurt, there is nothing quite as peaceful as a hug from your mom.
Even if said mom isn’t a hugger.
Jaxon slowly nods his head, but his expression doesn’t change. He looks leery. His eyes are hard....almost accusatory in their intensity.
“You don’t find that the least bit strange Princess?” Jaxon questions, and his tone pisses me off.
“Of course I don’t! Why would I? SHE-IS-MY-MOM!” I yell, surprised that I actually yell at him. It is just that this is a good thing. I don’t understand why he is looking at me like I did something wrong. Like I failed a huge test or something.
“You don’t know?” Jaxon laughs, stepping into my personal space and grabbing me gently by the elbow. A bigger laugh tumbles out of him and seeing this slightly crazy side of Jaxon is a little scary.
“Of course you don’t know.” I don’t miss the sarcasm in his voice. I frown. Sarcasm is supposed to be my thing.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Zane taking a step closer to us. His eyes locked onto the hand that is touching me.
“I forget that you know nothing of this life,” Jaxon exhales.
His words might as well be knives, cutting me as they pierce my already fragile heart. My pain must show on my face because he is quick to explain.
“Shit. That came out wrong.”
“You think?” Ryker laughs, but quickly shuts up when Jaxon throws him a death glare.
“What I meant......” he clears his throat, taking a second before starting over.
“What I am trying to tell you is that your mother shouldn’t be here Princess.”
“I know...I know,” I wave him off, suddenly remembering what he is probably getting at. “It is against the rules or something like that right? Look Jax, sorry and all, but I don’t give a crap.....”
“No Princess...” he cuts me off, his eyes flashing with pain. “It isn’t about breaking the rules. We just told her that because she is a human. The school is spelled against humans Maci. When they try to enter, they get confused and leave. No human can enter the grounds of Hillcrest Academy.”
“That’s.....” I start, but my words die a silent death on my suddenly dry tongue when I finally get what he is trying to tell me.
“But.....my mom is here. She...she is human,” I stutter, all the color draining from my face from one heartbeat to the next.
“Sorry Princess, but if she is here.....” he cuts off with a look of pity. He pauses, his voice dropping as he whispers
“..... she isn’t.”
Well hell?
If she isn’t a human, then what the hell is she? More importantly...what the hell does that make me?
~ Chapter 7~
My thoughts are a mess as Jaxon leads me to Wanda’s office. I am so lost in my own head that I barely speak as he takes my hand and all but drags me across the campus. I do notice the changes that have taken place since I was last here. I just do so with a numb indifference.
Trees are uprooted from the soil, many turned haphazardly on their sides. Mud covers the ground, further proof of Braxton’s words that Carson Hill has seen a lot of rain in the last few days. For once I am thankful that in place of my beloved black heels, I have on black leather boots. My poor shoes would never survive this muddy mess. The boy’s dorm is even missing a wall, the fractured brick laying beneath the crumbled structure.
I squeeze Jaxon’s hand tighter as I take in the damage. The visual proof of his pain. A flash of emotion filters across our dying bond, and I stifle a gasp at the intensity of it.
Feeling Jaxon under my skin after two weeks of silence is almost an overload to my system. The feeling that washes through me is a powerful wave of love wrapped in a blanket of regret.
And sorrow. So much damn sorrow coats his mind that I can almost taste it like a bitter aftertaste. It is everywhere.
And it hurts...knowing that I caused him to lose control like this. My Jaxon, who is always so strong and steady, a prisoner to his emotions because of his love for me.
“Nothing about loving you holds me prisoner Princess. You are the only thing that has ever made me feel truly free. Never doubt that.”
His voice is so unexpected in my mind that I trip over the exposed root at my feet. Jax’s hand lashes out, catching me moments before my face hits the ground. This time he uses his voice.
“Before we go in, you need to know of Wanda’s power. Her angel power is fear. She can access your fears and use them to control you. This is why she is feared. How she punishes others. Why Gabriel keeps her around. It is said that she has one other primary power, but no one knows what it is. She never uses it, and father never speaks of it.” Jaxon says it quickly, pulling us to a stop in front of the main door.
“Lucky for me, I have already survived all of my fears Jaxon. What more could she possibly do?”
I pull my hand from his and try to look as brave as I wish that I were. Jaxon nods, h
is eyes finding mine as he reaches for the door. He doesn’t say it, maybe because he is too kind to point out the obvious, or maybe because he loves me enough to let me believe the lies that just spilled from my lips, but we are both thinking the same thing.
It can always get worse.
“No matter what happens in there, know that I will not fail you again. That is a promise that I can keep.”
His muscles flex as he pulls the massive door open. I don’t have time to admire the beautiful entry way, or the stairs that curve both sides of the room.
Instead, a little ball of blond fury slams into me. She folds me into a hug that threatens to cut off my air, but has never felt so right. Her arms shake as she clings to me. The wetness of her tears soaking my shirt as she mumbles words that make no sense to me.
Her hands shake as she pulls away, running them over my face and then my hair. I have never so much as seen my mom sniffle. This? This is very un-mom like for her to say the least.
“Give the girl some room Lilith,” Wanda laughs from somewhere behind us. My mom breaks away from me at the sound of Wanda’s voice, her eyes hard as she takes in the scary headmistress.
“Mom? What...what are you doing here? Who....who is Lilith?” I blurt, my eyes going from my mother’s angry stare, to Wanda’s cold indifference, and finally to the look of absolute shock that Jaxon wears as he steps into the room.
“No.....Please tell me that you didn’t!” Jaxon yells, powering into the room and coming to my side. At first, I think that he is talking to Wanda, but it doesn’t take me long to see that the deadly fury he now wears like a second skin isn’t pointed at his stepmother.
No.....
It is directed at my mother.
“Perhaps, my office would be a better place for this conversation? This son, this is not something you want to discuss in front of the entire school, and class will be out in five minutes.” Wanda says it in her same cold voice, but her eyes show her worry as she studies Jaxon.
If Wanda is worried....I have a bad feeling this is going to really...really suck for me.
Without a word, Jaxon grabs my hand, pulling me into an office that is neatly tucked against the far wall. The door almost hidden to those who don’t know that it is there. He guides me to a seat, but he remains standing. His back rigid, and his jaw locked tight as he waits for our mothers to enter. The moment the door shuts, he explodes.
“Someone better start talking. No more lies. You knew about this?”
Wanda laughs, and keeps laughing, like what Jaxon just said is the funniest thing that she has ever heard.
“I know everything that goes on in my school.”
Ok. That is it! I am done. Done with secrets! Done with the lies! Just done! I jump up, side stepping a still fuming Jaxon as I charge my mom.
“MOM? What is going on? Who is Lilith? Why did she call you that? They said that you can’t be human, but that can’t be right? Tell me that they are crazy! That I am crazy! For the love of all things holy mom, tell me something!”
I am full on yelling now, all of my bottled-up emotions tumbling out of me. There is so much that I want to tell my mom. I want to talk to her about Ashlee. About Jaxon. About Zane. I want to tell her about what they did to me. How they hurt me. I want to tell her everything, but first.....
First I need to know the truth. Her truth.
“Who is Lilith?” I repeat brokenly, a sob rising to my throat as my eyes meet hers. Sadness and regret, two feelings that seem to grow around me, spread across her face as she hangs her head.
Her blond hair spills forward, and when she brings her eyes back up to meet mine, gone are the loving blue eyes that I stared into as a child. In their place are two ruby red orbs that flash with something otherworldly...something almost evil.
“I am. I am Lilith. That is my real name.”
I swallow my shock at having been lied to my entire life and ask the next most important question. “Are you even my mom?”
“Yes...” she whispers, dropping to her knees in front of me and taking my hand. “Everything you know of me is true. I just lied about who and what I am. I am still your mother. I gave you life. I still hate scary movies, and love to read. I am me Maci.....I am just more than you knew.”
Her voice is almost a plea as she begs me to hear her. To accept her. To love her. Her eyes no longer red, but back to the color that reminds me of safety and childhood. Of home.
She is home to me, no matter what she is. That is all that I care about.
“Ooooo....ooook,” I say, taking a deep breath. “So? Your name is Lilith. That is who you are, but that doesn’t tell me what you are. Are....are you an angel too? Is that why you were able to get past the wards?”
A hand lands on my shoulder, squeezing gently and not letting go. Supporting me without words, and I know without looking that Jaxon is there.
A laugh ripples out of my mom, and not too soon after Wanda’s laughter joins hers. The only person not laughing is Jaxon. Looking back, I think that was because he knew what was coming, and didn’t find it at all funny.
“Me.....an.....angel?” my mom laughs, patting my hand in sympathy. “Heavens no. Maci dear, I am Lilith. I think common lore refers to me as the mother of all demons. Or....in your case half-demons.”
I can hear the others talking after that, but my mind pretty much shuts off. Demon? My mother is a demon? I am a half demon.
What the actual hell messed up life is this?
My best friend is an un-dead psycho who keeps trying to kill me. My dad is an angel, who acts more like a devil, and also keeps trying to kill me. My mom is a demon, whatever the hell that means! My best guy friend is a vamp, who is now blood bound to my other BFF just so that he can stop trying to kill me. The boy I love doesn’t trust me enough to complete our bond...probably because he actually wants to stop people from trying to kill me.
And then there is Zane.
Nope. I am checking out. My life has taken a detour straight to crazyville, and I did not buy a ticket.
I want a refund!
I don’t realize that the room has gone silent until some time later. I look up, only semi-shocked to see that I froze the entire room with my Tempus mojo yet again.
The difference is that this time I am kind of glad. I need to think. To process. To figure everything out. That is a hell of a lot easier to do without having to worry about everyone else’s feelings.
If my mom is a demon, and my dad an angel? What does that make me?
A den...gel?
A ang....mon?
A half-breed from hell?
Totally screwed?
As soon as the thought enters my mind, totally inappropriate laughter tumbles out of me along with a stream of even more inappropriate tears.
I could totally live here, in my crazy little pity party if Bianca didn’t choose that exact moment to rain on my parade. I swear...that girl has the world’s worst timing.
“Headmistress I.....” she says, stopping cold as she takes in the frozen room around her.
“You....” she sneers, and I have zero doubt that she is getting ready to say something bitchy and mean, but today I just cannot deal.
I throw up a hand, focusing my power on freezing her to the spot. It is the first time that I have ever tried to use my power willingly, and I am pleasantly surprised when she turns to a huge chunk of ice. The others are just suspended in time, but it seems that my power gave the ice bitch a little extra juice.
As I stare at her frozen face, I can’t even find it in myself to muster an ounce of give a damn for this girl. She is a bully. She deserves worse. Looking at her now just reminds me of the fact that she had her hands on Jaxon. Her lips!
Rage gets the best of me, and before I can stop myself, I lash out. My fist smashes into her perfect little nose, breaking the thin layer of ice that encases her face. Blood splatters across my knuckles, and I watch in awe as the cuts heal before my eyes.
Hitting an unconscious girl is not
my finest moment, but hey...she deserves it. Not wanting to give her another thought, I turn my attention to the others.
I would love to leave them there, but I can’t. At least, I can’t leave Jaxon frozen like that. The others are still up for debate. Trying to remember how to unfreeze him, I walk over to him and place my hand on his face. I close my eyes, willing my power to do my biding, and smiling when it does.
Jaxon turns his face into my palm, pressing a kiss there that is hotter than any I have ever had before. It is a kiss that possess and puts back together with the feathering of his lips against my flesh.
He doesn’t ask why I froze him or demand answers from me that he knows I am not ready to give. He simply smiles at me, pulling me into his chest as he whispers the one thing that I need to hear.
“It will be ok Princess. This...this changes nothing.” His lips press a soft kiss against my forehead as I try to pull his warmth and strength into myself.
“It changes everything Jax. What I am....Angels hate demons. You......”
“I love you,” he defends vehemently, and he sounds so sure when he says it that for just a second, I let myself believe him.
“You shouldn’t,” I whisper against his skin, trying once more to give him an out. A chance at a normal life. To be with someone like him. Someone whose blood isn’t tainted by evil.
“I should never love another Maci. Evil is not defined by blood. It is defined by choice. You are the purest person I have ever met. Angel.....Demon...Cyclops.....I would love you despite it all. Just because I don’t want to risk you by completing a bond that only endangers you more, does not mean that I am not willing to risk everything for you.”
I kiss him. I kiss Jaxon like my life depends on it, and perhaps in this moment it does. When you have lost everything, including yourself, finding yourself in the arms of the person that you love is the purest form of joy. Jaxon is my joy. My hope. My strength. I pour every ounce of feeling I have into that kiss, hoping that it will be enough for him.
That I will be enough for him.
Avenge (Hillcrest Book 2) Page 6