I smiled and picked up her hand, playing with it. “That was only three years ago.”
“Feels like longer. Doesn’t it? What about you?”
“What about me?”
She reclaimed her hand and ran it soothingly across my stomach. Only in the state I was in, it was anything but soothing, and my skin vibrated with the electricity that always seemed to flow between us. “How old were you your first time?”
I closed my eyes in preparation for the brutal honesty. Here went nothing. “There has not been a first time, actually.”
She pushed herself onto her elbow and took a moment with that one. I had her full attention now. “Really?”
“I know. I’m lame. Let’s not harp on it.”
“You’re not lame.” She kissed me. “You’re the opposite of lame. What made you wait?”
“I haven’t wanted to until…”
She smiled and ran one finger across the waistband of my shorts. “Until?”
I caught her hand. “I met this girl.”
She glanced around the empty fields in disdain. “Who is she? I’ll find her. Does she know the proper way to pick a strawberry?”
I laughed and pulled my buzzing phone from my pocket and flipped it open. “Hi, Mom.”
“Are you on the farm?”
“I am. The eastern side, chatting with Courtney.”
“We’re starting Pictionary, if you’re interested,” she said. “Berta’s on her way over.”
This was fantastic news! I adored game night. I turned to Courtney, who stared at me questioningly. “Oh, we’ll be right there. Set a place for two.”
Chapter Eight
“A spotted dog. A goat. A hamster,” my brother said in rapid-fire succession as Berta scribbled furiously on a notepad. She shook her head and continued to draw. “A hydrant. A man on top of a hydrant. Mussolini!” Berta shot him a what-the-hell look just as the timer buzzed.
“Mussolini?” She bopped him with the back of her pad. “It’s a fireman, you idiot!”
“Yes, clearly a fireman,” my mother said, calmly examining the drawing.
“What?” Clay asked and motioned to the pad. “Looks like a man in charge. A dictator.”
“Of a hydrant?” Berta asked, incredulous.
“A fireman,” Courtney said quietly to me.
“A total fireman,” I concurred.
Berta slid the box of cards to us in resignation. “You’re up. No point for us.”
Courtney selected a card, glanced at it, and picked up the pencil. I’d never felt more confident in my entire life. We’d already made it across the board in record time. This had to be some kind of Pictionary record, which I found thrilling. She began to sketch.
“A sidewalk,” I said calmly. She nodded. “A man on a sidewalk. A runner. A runner carrying—torch! It’s a torch.” She set down her pencil and smiled at me in triumph. I moved our token to the finish line and regarded the table. “I’m sad to say this, but I believe that’s the game.”
“I hate them,” my father said to my mother, though there was a grin on his face. He pointed at us across the table. “I demand a rematch at some point, young lady.”
Courtney smiled. “You’re on.”
“I’m not partnering with Clay anymore,” Berta said and stood from the table. “He’s a lost cause.”
Clay responded with a headlock and ruffled her hair. “Yes, you are, little cousin. We’re the dream team unrealized. Just you wait.” She rolled her eyes.
“We’re going to wind down for the night,” my mother said and wrapped her arm around my father’s midsection.
“It’s not even nine thirty on a weekend,” Clay pointed out.
My father smiled proudly. “We are the definition of proud old fuddy-duddies. Give me an old episode of Bonanza and a couch and I’m a happy camper. Oh! Anyone want to watch Bonanza?”
Berta shook her head apologetically. “Uh, I think I’m gonna stop by Bag of Beans.”
“Headed to Lonesome’s,” my brother said of the town’s only bar.
“Coffeehouse sounds fun,” Courtney said.
I smiled. “Three for the coffeehouse.”
My mother stared at my father. “We’ve officially been ditched by the youngsters.”
He shrugged. “It’s a date, then.”
As hard a time as I gave my parents, their relationship was also something I aspired to have for myself one day. I gave them one last look and felt the warmth wash over me as we headed into the night.
Bag of Beans was just as popular at night as it was in the morning, given that there weren’t a ton of spots in town for teenagers to hang out. Throngs of youthful townies dotted the porch as we approached. Spotting us ascending the steps, Louis glanced up from his game of chess with Martin Timmons, the retired and much-revered AV club president of our graduating class.
“Hi, Berta,” Louis said, beaming.
“Hey, Louis,” she said with a smile, and touched his shoulder as we passed. She’d struck up a new appreciation for the guy, and his feelings for her seemed to have calmed down to a normal rumble, though they were noticeably alive and well. “We’re gonna grab a spot inside. Come hang out later.”
He nodded back at her. “I will do just that. Thank you. Hey, are we still on for that indie flick tomorrow?”
“Yep. I’ll meet you there at three.”
“I look forward to it. Hello, Maggie,” he said to me. His gaze then shifted to Courtney, and his eyebrows bounced up. “Well, hello to you as well. You’re back!”
“I am. For the summer,” she told him politely. “It’s awesome to see you.”
“Likewise.”
Courtney was met with similar hellos as we moved through the Tanner Peak crowd. Inside, I easily located Travis in a group of his old football buddies. He went still when his gaze landed squarely on our group, and I had a feeling which one of us had captivated him.
“Hey, there, Travis,” Courtney said, moving to him and wrapping her arms around his neck for a hug. She hadn’t hugged Louis.
His eyes twinkled as he pulled back, his hands still holding her shoulders. “Heard a rumor you were back in town.”
She nodded. “Sometimes rumors are true.” They stared at each other and I had to jump in.
“Hey, Travis. Did you get a chance to talk to Clay about the job?”
He turned to me. “He didn’t tell you?”
“He did not.”
“I snagged a part-time slot at your giant berry farm. If it goes well and I impress him, could be full-time by fall. I plan to impress him.”
“That’s great. I suppose I’ll be seeing you around a lot more.”
“Lucky you,” he said and bounced his eyebrows.
“What will you do on the farm?” Courtney asked.
“Clay wants to get me set up on the machinery first and we’ll go from there.”
She nodded. “Impressive.”
Yep. Super impressive. Ridiculously so. Dammit.
Travis stood a little taller at the compliment. “Hey, let me get you a coffee to say welcome back.”
I buried the sigh on my lips and smiled instead at Berta. “I’ll take a dry cappuccino, thanks. Decaf.”
“Coming right up.”
Courtney excused herself to the ladies’ room and Berta turned to me expectantly.
“What?” I asked her innocently, knowing exactly what.
“You and Courtney. Are you a thing again? Because I’m picking up on some vibes.” Berta had been a good friend to me when Courtney had left town. I’d been up front and honest with her about my feelings for Courtney and she’d been my rock, helping me pick up the pieces of what had been my hopeful little heart. I thanked God for Berta.
She followed me to a small conglomeration of mismatched chairs, away from the masses.
“It might be a thing again. I think it is. We went out the other night.”
“Out? On a date?”
I nodded.
She dropped her voice. “And did
anything…happen?”
“I kissed her.” I sank back in my chair at the not-so-distant memory. “And it was even better than the first time.”
“Maggie, listen. I like Courtney, I do. I just don’t want to see your heart broken, because it’s a pretty amazing heart. Be careful, okay?”
“I promise. I think our goals are similar, and thanks, Berta, for…being there. Everything.”
She placed her chin on my shoulder. “That, my friend, is something you can always count on. Even after August. I’ll only be a phone call away.”
I winced. “Stop that. I’m operating under the pretense that August is never coming. Anything you can do to enhance this delusion will be heavily appreciated.”
She laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“What about you?” I asked. “I can’t help but notice that you’re spending more and more time with Louis. You sure you’re just friends? He’s done a lot of growing up.”
She glanced to the front of the shop, where we could see him playing chess on the porch. “He really has. The answer is I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s there with Louis, but I do have fun with him. He’s a good friend.”
“I’m just saying, don’t rule the guy out. Maybe he’s the dark horse we never saw coming.”
She shook her head. “Can you imagine?”
“No, not entirely. I’m just saying, it’s possible. The world feels very possible lately.”
I eyed Courtney up at the counter, chatting with Travis, laughing at the goofy things he said, just like back in the day. She caught my stare and winked at me. I smiled back and did my best to pretend I wasn’t the slightest bit worried.
Because I wasn’t.
Except for this little thing called reality that I heard knocking quietly in the recesses of my mind. I shook my head to clear the doubt.
Deep breath. I could do this.
*
“And two fifty is your change,” I said to the nice couple who’d visited the farm on their honeymoon.
“Have a good one,” the man said, and hefted both buckets of strawberries for his new bride. I glanced around the Pick-Your-Own and blew out a relieved sigh that the crowd had finally dwindled.
“Where’s a dude supposed to eat lunch around here anyway?” I turned at the sound of Travis’s voice and regarded him with hands on my hips. He wore dirt-streaked jeans and a muscle shirt that fit him tighter than necessary. This look was totally lost on me, unfortunately.
“Did you mistake today for a calendar shoot or something? I can see how you would have confused the gigs. Farmhand, underwear model. Same thing.”
He glanced down at his outfit. “Come on. I look good. Check out my rugged features and come-tear-my-clothes-off stare.” He rolled his shoulders forward and smoldered.
It was actually remarkable. I’d give him that. “No one is disputing the handsome. Can you even lift your arms in that shirt, though? Try. I’ll watch.”
He feigned injury and took a seat in the grass next to my checkout stand. “Eat with me. Make me feel better after what you just said.”
“Give me five and I will.” After checking in on my mother, who declined lunch in order to push through Tad and Elmira’s reunion scene, I joined Travis on the grass along with my homemade chicken salad sandwich. For good measure, I brought one for him, which he caught in the air once I arced it to him.
“So what’s new, Beringer?”
I took a bite and studied him as I chewed. “Pretty steady stream of folks through the Pick-Your-Own this summer. That’s been wildly exciting.”
“Saw the cars. Surprised you snagged a sec to eat.”
“Notice I’m not getting too comfortable.”
“Hey, if you’re about to jet, can I run something by you?”
Oh, man. Really? I had a feeling I knew what this was about. “While I think the world of you, Trav, I doubt I’d be much help. I mean, I don’t know that I’m your girl for that.”
He pressed on, undeterred by my clear lack of enthusiasm. “I have an issue or whatever.” Fine, we were gonna do this.
“Is this about a girl?”
He flashed the million-watt smile before it faltered. Something was definitely on his mind. I braced myself.
“Here’s the deal. I’ve been hot and cold with this chick, right? But I’m ready to turn up the heat.”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure I like this metaphor. Can you just give it to me straight minus the Days of Our Lives?”
“It’s been casual between us, but now I have these, I don’t know, feelings.” He made an awkward circular hand motion around his midsection to illustrate.
I did my damnedest to remain objective, but I felt like we were right back to square one. Total dèjá vu of the nightmare variety. There was no way I was helping him on the Courtney front. Nope. I’d rather bathe in lava on live television. It was that simple. “You know what? I think it’s better if you deal with this on your own, champ. I have every confidence in your ability to communicate with girls.”
“Right. About that. When she’s around, it’s different. I get all tongue-tied. Say stupid stuff, jokes that make no sense, even to me. I was hoping you might step in and—”
“Okay, no. I’m not your own personal Cyrano here.”
“Who?”
“Not going to happen, okay?” I began gathering what remained of my lunch and throwing it into the bag angrily.
“Beringer? You mad?”
“Not mad. Just in survival mode, struggling for air, and needing space. Got it? Space!” I headed to the big house where I could finish my lunch in the air-conditioning and with my sanity intact.
“What’s that mean?” he yelled after me. “Who is Cyrano? Is he new to town? Do I need to fight him?” I didn’t answer because any further contact would be detrimental to my well-being and his safety. “Beringer!”
*
I didn’t ask Courtney about Travis. Maybe I should have, but I didn’t.
Due to her intense work schedule at the store, we had limited time together, and I wanted to enjoy every moment of it.
We relied on the couple of hours after Carrington’s closed and before her father would expect her home, just to avoid any further drama in her house. The fact that she had to lie to him about who she was spending time with still gutted me.
Before I knew it, we’d landed smack in the middle of summer, and I had a precious few weeks before she left for Northwestern and I went back to the blander version of my life without Courtney. Until then, I planned to soak up every minute.
“What are you thinking about?” Courtney asked, as she played with my hair. We sat along the bank of the creek, her arms around me from behind as I leaned back against her. Nearby a cricket chirped.
“The summer is half over.”
I felt her shake her head, her hair tickling my shoulder. “Yeah, how did that happen?”
“No idea. I’d give anything to slow down time.”
“Me too.” She kissed my temple and we sat there in silence, enjoying the night and the gentle sounds of the water as it lapped against the bank. The stars shone brightly overhead and Courtney ran her hands up and down my arms.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked, turning the tables. She hesitated. The silence prompted me to turn in her arms so I could fully see her face. “You don’t have to tell me. Sometimes you like to keep things to yourself. I get that about you.”
“I don’t know why I’m like that. But it’s true.”
“Because you don’t let a lot of people in. You’re friends with the entire world, but you keep the people in it at arm’s length. At least when it comes to anything too serious.”
She stared off into the distance. “But you’re different, Maggie. Everything is different with you. I don’t want to hold you at arm’s length.”
“Then don’t.” She kissed me gently and then held my gaze. “Why don’t you start by telling me what you were thinking?”
“I could try
that.” She nodded a couple times as if gearing up. “Okay. So I was thinking about how much I enjoy these nights. Our nights.”
I smiled because I did, too.
“I look forward to them all day, actually. Talking or not talking. You always want to hear about my day, and I’m always dying to hear about yours.”
I shook my head and turned back to face the creek. “I still don’t think it’s fair that you had to stay late and fold those boxes. That Wally guy should have done it.”
She laughed and wrapped her arms around me. “See what I mean? You care. About something as trivial as boxes. I’m not used to having someone like you.”
“Well, of course I care.” Because we were doing well, I pushed a little further. “Tell me one thing you’re afraid of.”
“Flying roaches. They should be banned in all fifty states.”
I laughed but recognized the deflection as standard Courtney. I squeezed her arms. “Let’s go for two, just for kicks.”
She blew out a breath, and took a moment to think. “You don’t let me off easy, do you?”
“I’m pretty much the Barbara Walters of Tanner Peak.”
She took a moment, then turned me around and met my eyes. The vulnerability on her face crossed every feature. I was struck. I hadn’t seen it on her before.
“I am afraid of…being alone,” she said quietly. The words hung in the air, and their meaning tugged at my heart. Because for the most part, Courtney did walk through life alone. She was smart, and independent, but solitary.
I laced my fingers through hers. “Well, you’re not anymore. Even when you leave here, you take me with you. Here.” I placed my hand over her heart and she blinked back tears before losing the battle. “Please don’t cry.” I wiped them from her cheeks with my thumbs.
“That’s the best part of all this,” she said, placing my hand back over her heart and covering it with hers. “The world feels very different now that I know there’s a you.”
“Good. It’s only fair, because my world’s been totally rocked since you walked into it.” I pressed my forehead to hers and just lived there for a moment. We shared a kiss, and as our lips hung on, my heart squeezed in that recognizable squeeze that only Courtney could inspire.
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