*
“Berta’s pregnant?” Courtney asked, halting a grape midway to her mouth. “Oh no.”
“She’s pregnant. And it’s Travis’s baby.”
She whistled low.
It was Thursday, and for the first time in a long while, she’d managed to get off work before the sun went down. We’d grabbed dinner at the café and now enjoyed the sunset from the far recesses of the berry patch.
Courtney shook her head. “That’s a lot to take on at twenty.”
“Berta’s still nineteen,” I pointed out. “So am I, by the way.”
“I had sex with a teenager!” Courtney squeaked, which was ridiculous. She was only six months older than I was. “Berta and Travis, though.”
“Shocking, right?”
“Yes, and no. Let’s think about this.” Courtney pushed herself up onto her knees and looked down at me where I sat on what had become our blanket. “Opposites attract, right?”
“I think that’s true to an extent. Historically speaking, it’s often the case.”
“So it doesn’t totally shock me,” Courtney went on, “that levelheaded Berta fell for the town pretty boy. It’s chemistry in a bottle.”
“Okay. And how do we stack up?”
She grinned at me and placed a hand on my thigh. “Oh, we blew the lid clear off that bottle and shattered it into a million pieces.”
She wasn’t kidding either. It’d been ten days since our night at Courtney’s house, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We kissed constantly. At the creek. In the strawberry fields. The front seat of her car. The backseat of my car. Anywhere and everywhere, we kissed. Slow and sensual, fast and furious, urgent and intense, we kissed.
“Does Louis know?” she asked. “I thought he had a total thing for Berta.”
“He does.” I felt horrible for the guy. He’d always been so sweet. “She told him yesterday, and he didn’t take it so well. Berta says there were tears and lots of questions. Some of them angry.”
“Oh, man. So what’s going to happen with Travis?”
“She says he wants to marry her, and I think she’s on board with that idea.”
“Wow. Married with a baby. Good for them.” She studied me. “You don’t exactly look thrilled by the prospect, though. You keep staring at the ground.”
“They’re so young, you know?”
She nodded. “Yeah, but when you know, you know.”
I lifted a hand and dropped it. “They’re so young.”
“So are we.”
“We’re different.”
Her eyes sparkled. “We are, aren’t we? Stand up.”
I did as she asked and she followed suit. “What are we doing?” I asked.
Courtney lowered herself onto one knee and took my hand. “Margaret Eileen Beringer, marry me.”
“You’re insane. Get up.” I pulled my hand back and turned away laughing. She was up and following me.
“I didn’t get an answer.”
“Courtney, you’re not getting an answer because you don’t mean it. Now stop.”
“What if I was serious?” she said, facing me.
My stomach tightened at the prospect. “But you’re not, so it doesn’t matter.”
She stared off at the horizon and then met my eyes, all jesting now gone from her demeanor. “I think I am, though.”
I studied her, trying to find the words to explain. “We can’t get married, Courtney. We’re in school. You live across the country.”
“Fine. But listen to me, Maggie, and listen very closely. I’m going to ask you again someday. I will marry you. Mark my words.”
“One day I’ll marry you right back.” I smiled and kissed her, easing my hands under the back of her shirt so I could feel the warmth of her skin. “When you’re a department store mega mogul.”
“Exactly.”
“Dressed in the latest fashions.”
“Well,” she said proudly. “I have to look the part.”
I looked skyward and cringed. “Confession time.”
She rubbed her hands together. “Oh, I love confession time. What do you have for me?”
I was blushing and feeling stupid, but I said it anyway. “I find you incredibly hot when you’re all dressed up and put together for work. Like it does things to me. Major things.”
Courtney gasped. “And you’re just now telling me? I need to know all your sexy triggers so I can use them.”
I shrugged, the heat from the blush still present. “I can’t give away all my secrets just yet.”
“I just proposed to you! I think you can.” She seemed to be enjoying this new piece of information. “Business attire, huh?”
I nodded and took a seat on the blanket. “A big weakness. Gets me every time.” I held out my hand for hers and she obliged, following me to the ground with a wicked grin. We made out until the sun was down, and under the veil of darkness made love under the stars, bucking my fears and taking the risk. We took our time with each other, still exploring and reveling in the newness of it all. I discovered how sensitive the skin was on Courtney’s inner thigh; when I touched her there, she just about melted. Courtney loved how sensitive my breasts were and seemed to never tire of lavishing attention on them.
As we lay there, spent and happy, I couldn’t help but ruminate on the proposal. Courtney had been joking around, yes, but it had me wondering about the future. What would happen when we did graduate? Courtney’s father had been clear about his feelings about her seeing me. We were essentially sneaking around, ducking public venues and lying to her father about Courtney’s whereabouts. If I wanted any kind of future with Courtney, I was going to have to find a way to change her father’s mind about us.
But first I needed to know more.
*
The next day I found my mother tick-tacking away on her laptop at the dining room table and decided it was now or never. She’d welcomed pretty much any discussion I’d ever hoped to have with her in the past, including retreading the birds and the bees explanation fifteen different times to clear up my lingering questions about trajectory and mechanics.
This topic was different.
“You know, Margaret, this is not a subject I’m especially comfortable discussing with you,” my mother said tersely.
She was never terse, so it was clear I’d struck a nerve. She went quickly back to her laptop and seemed to shake off the conversation. But I wasn’t done. I came around the dining room table and sat next to her. “You’ll talk to me in depth about characters in your books but not about your actual life?”
She eyed me once, twice, and then finally sat back in her chair and sighed. “It was a different time, and I don’t like to think about it that often. Some things are best left in the past.”
“But Courtney is very much a part of my present, Mom, and she’s not going anywhere, as far as I’m concerned. She shuts down most any conversation having to do with her father, and he’s pretty much forbidden her to see me. I need to understand why.”
She turned to me abruptly, not looking at all like herself. “I want you to stay away from him. Do you hear me? He is not a nice man. If that means you can’t see Courtney, then maybe that’s an unfortunate consequence.”
“I’m in love with her.”
That had her attention. She walked to the window and took what felt like forever before turning back to me. “Maybe we should take a walk.”
I nodded, but my insides churned. “I’ll grab my shoes.”
Ten minutes later, we walked the perimeter of our property under the shade of the giant oak trees. She didn’t say much at first, and I didn’t press her. Finally, she looked over at me. “I was sixteen and Mitch was eighteen. I’d never had a boyfriend before and he was an older boy, showing little old me some attention. It felt like a pretty big deal and all the girls were jealous of me. Everything was grand at first and I wondered how I’d gotten so lucky. We went to the movies, or for ice cream. But slowly things started to ch
ange. He had a temper. He was known for it, in fact, but it was rooted on the ball field as far as I knew. One day he turned it on me.”
The fear churned my stomach. “What did he do?”
“I’d never been hit before in my life, but I’ll never forget the feeling of the back of his hand across my face. I’d told him he sounded arrogant after he gloated about a baseball win. He didn’t like that.”
“He hit you? Mom, he hit you?” The anger started low and grew. The idea of someone hurting my funny, quirky, wonderful mother had my head spinning and my blood boiling.
She nodded sadly.
“So what did you do?”
“At first, I didn’t say anything to anyone. I was embarrassed. I was the one everyone was jealous of, remember? I used concealer to cover up the mark he’d left and avoided too much time around my parents because I thought they’d take one look at me and know.”
“You didn’t break up with him?”
She continued with quiet control. “I didn’t. He apologized and I believed him. But as time went on, he started telling me where I could and could not go, and who I could be friends with. It got to the point that I had to check with him before I made plans with my girlfriends.”
“So he was an abusive control freak?”
“The labels were different then, but yes. He held all the power. An abusive control freak.”
“Can I ask how you got away from him?”
She smiled wanly. “Your father was a big part of that. He was one of my very best friends, and the kindest soul I could ever hope to meet. I confided in him, knowing I could trust him, and he was there for me. Eventually, we fell in love.”
“Thank God.”
“But things got worse before they got better.”
I sobered. “In what way?”
“Though he apologized for hitting me that first time, he did it again. And again. The last time was when I told him it was over. I came away with a black eye and broken eardrum.”
“Mom,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. I stopped on the path and turned to her, my voice cracking when I tried to speak. “Why did you never tell me?”
“Some things a young girl doesn’t need to know.”
“Please tell me he went to jail. Why isn’t he still there?”
“He was arrested after I visited the emergency room. But in the end, the charges were dropped, which was probably best for everyone. Me, my parents, Netta, who was devastated. She really did everything she could with him, but it was a losing battle.” She ran a hand through her hair as if to clear away all marks from the past. “He left town shortly after that for Northwestern and built his empire over time. He was always very smart. Shrewd.”
I shook my head, trying to understand. You hear about stuff like that happening to other people, but this was the first time it had touched someone I loved. “I’m so sorry that happened to you,” I said, hugging her.
“I’m okay, sweetheart. I don’t want you to worry. I’ve had a fabulous life since then, and the evidence of that is right here. This precocious kid in my arms who’s not such a kid anymore.”
I placed a kiss on her cheek and smiled until the very pressing present came rushing back to me like an alarm bell.
“What about now?” I said looking up at her. “Courtney and her mom.”
She nodded, her brow furrowed. “We talked, Beverly and I. Once when I took her to lunch and several phone conversations after. She was unhappy in her marriage, and I think hearing my story may have helped give her the courage to finally—”
“Leave that bastard.”
“Yes.” She sighed. “Don’t think I haven’t worried for Courtney. I have. I keep an eye on her as best I can.”
The idea that she would need to had my heart plummeting and an urge to do something raining down on me, sharp and pressing. “I think I need to talk to her,” I said. “Is that okay?”
She stroked the back of my head. “It’s okay. If she needs to talk more, let her know I’m here.”
“I appreciate that more than you know.” I headed off in the direction of the driveway, already jingling my keys.
“Margaret?” I turned back. “Did you mean it? You’re in love?”
I smiled at her. “I am.”
Chapter Ten
Courtney exited Carrington’s at eight thirty that night in a matching navy blue skirt and jacket, and I resisted a full-on swoon. Instead, I smiled at the continued fashion strides she made in the role of fierce department store up-and-comer. But my admiration was cut short as I remembered the talk with my mother earlier. There was still so much about Courtney that I didn’t know. She wasn’t an easy nut to crack, but I had to give it a try.
I was leaning against the hood of my car when she approached.
“Now, that’s a really sexy picture,” she said, and paused a moment to study me. “A hot girl and car? I must have done something right today.”
“Oh, good, because I’ve been posing like this for hours now, just hoping you’d stumble upon me.” I pushed myself off the hood.
“And I was planning to text you, but now I don’t have to. You’re here and you’re beautiful and I get to kiss you. Look at that!”
I sighed happily and looked skyward, accepting the kiss Courtney placed on my cheek and inhaling the vanilla wonderfulness. “And what would this text have said?” I asked.
“Something to the effect of, ‘Let’s get milk shakes together and forget all about today.’”
“Hop in. I know a spot.”
She relaxed into a grin. “Thank God for you, Maggie.”
We drove to the Berry Good Café and snagged a spot at the back. The cozy little throwback of a restaurant had a string of booths along the wall on the right and counter-style dining in the center of the room. With the café closing within the hour, the patronage was sparse. I smiled at Carter Hill from the auto repair shop as he paid his check at the register.
“How’s your brother?” he asked. “Haven’t seen him around in a week or so.”
“Probably at his place still reliving the day you caught his game-winning pass.”
Carter laughed. “Favorite of mine, too. Say hey to him for me. Tell him to stop by the shop for a brew.”
“Will do. You know he’ll take you up on it.”
Courtney turned to me. “You know everybody.”
“Small-town syndrome. It’s a gift and curse.”
She set her menu down. “Do you think many people know about us?”
“At least a handful. I told Travis.”
She grinned. “And how did that go?”
I thought back on the exchange…
He’d been doing some repair work on the smaller John Deere in the barn and I’d offered to help. “You’re turning the wrench the wrong way,” I’d told him with a smile. “You sure you don’t want me to do it for you?”
“No, I’m not,” Travis said, but took a moment to study the bolt in question. “Oh. Right. Gotcha.”
“As long as you know what you’re doing.”
He passed me a look.
“Hey, I hear you have a doctor’s appointment next week.” Berta’s first official doctor’s visit since finding out. She’d withdrawn from UC Santa Barbara, sadly, but was beginning to compile other options for herself.
I watched him sink into a smile at the mention of Berta and the baby. “We’re gonna get to see him or her on the big screen. Hear the heartbeat and everything.”
“I’m happy for you two.”
“Thanks, Beringer. Maggie.” He seemed to be making every effort at maturity lately. “I hope I can make Berta proud of me, ya know? That’s the only thing. I want to do right by her and this kiddo.” He shifted uncomfortably and I realized just how much pressure rested squarely on his shoulders, and I felt for the guy.
“I’m confident you will, Travis.” I decided to lighten the mood a bit. “So Courtney and I have been…talking.”
“About what?” He grabbed an apple from on top o
f the toolbox and took a bite.
“As in, we’ve been seeing each other. Dating.”
“Dating?” He tilted his head as if to let the new information roll around in there. “You guys are gay? How did I miss that?”
I smiled because Travis had never been the most intuitive of individuals. “I feel you’re predisposed to imagine that every woman has the capacity to be madly in love with you. And that’s an observation, not a dig. I swear. Side note, though, Courtney isn’t into labels, so tread easy on the whole gay thing where she’s concerned. She just likes who she likes.”
“But you’re—”
“Gay. Totally.”
“Shut the fuck up. Seriously?” I nodded. “Congrats. Do you say congrats? I don’t know the proper whatever it is to say here.”
“Don’t worry about the mysterious saying that goes here. Congrats is fine, too.”
“Cool. Congrats, then. So you guys are—you know, that’s kind of hot, now that you mention it.” He smiled and made a big show of staring dreamily at the wall.
“Stop it.”
“What?”
I smiled and shook my head at him. “Don’t be that guy. The walking cliché.” The funny thing was that Travis was one of the only people who could get away with that kind of thing with me. There was something about him that was so genuinely flawed, yet sincere. As such, I seemed to have developed a soft spot for the guy who would sooner rather than later be a part of my extended family.
“Fine,” he said, holding up his hands with a stern look on his face. “Not hot at all. Girls kissing is blech. Won’t give it another thought. Not even later.”
“You suck at this,” I’d told him affectionately and left him to do his work.
“Travis is a good guy,” Courtney said, retrieving her menu and perusing. “He means well.”
“Yeah, he does. Clay’s already impressed with him on the farm. Says he’s an up-and-comer, which is great for Berta.” I sat back against the booth. “So what’s it going to be?”
She beamed. “A homemade chocolate milk shake. What about you?”
“I will have to settle for one of Rene’s famous brownies with a scoop of vanilla.”
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