“Olivia will be fine. She’ll deal with the truth when it’s time for her to hear it, but right now, there’s a job to be done. You concentrate on that. How is she today?”
“How do you think she is?”
“I don’t know, Lucca. That’s why I’m asking you.”
“She’s fine. She’s good, she never really lets the mask slip. If she’s feeling anything else she’s hiding it well.”
“She’s strong. All of this, it gives her a reason to push forward and do what needs to be done.”
“And then what? When she’s had her retribution; taken her revenge, what happens then?”
“You know what happens. The Delgado cartel becomes the main player. It takes control of everything.”
“And what about Olivia? What happens to her?”
“That’s not something we need to worry about just yet.”
I give the bridge of my nose another pinch, and squeeze my eyes tight shut, as though that’s going to fix everything. The same old shit is still going to be here the second I open them.
“Just keep an eye on her, Lucca. Follow the orders you were given.”
I turn around, open my eyes, and quickly scan the crowded casino floor. The bikers are still hanging around, although Eddie’s left now. He’ll be on his way to see Olivia, I’m guessing.
“Go and check on Olivia, Lucca. We’ll talk later.”
I wasn’t done, but at the same time I haven’t got the energy to continue with that conversation. And I don’t think Olivia needs “checking on”. She’s fine. So I order another whiskey and continue to watch the bikers as they gather around the blackjack table; put their filthy hands on willing waitresses’ asses, what the fuck do women see in these men?
Men like you, you mean…?
And then I catch sight of him – Angel Ruiz. All cocksure attitude as he slides an arm around the waist of a redhead with legs up to her armpits; fake tits spilling out of her slightly-too-tight top. Just a matter of hours ago he had his dick inside Olivia, and she wanted that? I find that so hard to believe, but then, something hasn’t been right with her for a while now. I know it hasn’t. And I want to think I know the reason why… I want to hope that I’m right…
Even if you are, what does it matter?
It can’t happen…
Downing my whiskey I slam the glass down on the counter and leave the casino. I’ve had enough of watching Devil’s Creed brothers act like overgrown schoolboys, I’m out of here. And going where, exactly? Because I don’t much feel like going back to the house yet. There’s too much on my mind, shit that’s only been polarized by seeing Angel just now. Shit I need to face up to, accept, and then forget about. I have no other choice but to forget about it, because acting on it – that could kill me…
Olivia
“Everything’s falling into place, huh?” Eddie smiles at me as he pulls his helmet on.
“Now that your club is a much bigger part of the cartel, yes. We’re getting there.”
“We won’t let you down, Olivia. I know it’s been a long time coming, but we’re almost there.”
I cross my arms and smile back. “I know.”
“We’ll clean the bastards out, I promise you.”
“Thank you. And thank you for coming back to me so quickly.”
“It was a no-brainer, in reality. Just a matter of letting everyone else know. No point in hanging around as far as I’m concerned.”
We hug, and then he climbs onto his Harley and kicks it into life.
“We’ll talk soon, Olivia. You take care, okay?”
I nod and watch him drive off, and for a moment I just stand there. My head’s all over the place, and it’s so unlike me. Getting distracted isn’t what I do, and I know I have every reason to be distracted today, but what’s scaring me more than anything is that my distraction has very little to do with me still grieving Javier. I can’t do that forever, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still miss him sometimes, I do. I still miss him. Sometimes. I probably always will, in some way, but today I woke up and something felt different. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want to love again. And I think I already do, love someone. And I’m almost certain that he loves me, too. It’s just that neither of us has been brave enough to step over that line.
Heading back inside I make my way to the kitchen, all of a sudden my appetite’s returned and I’m craving bacon and eggs. Maybe some pancakes, too. Thankfully, Celine is still here, and she kindly starts making me brunch while we chat about her children, one of which is about to start law school this fall. She’s very proud of him, and so she should be. The irony, though, is glaringly obvious – the son of the head housekeeper for the Delgado cartel is training to be a lawyer. And that’s something I will, unfortunately, have to keep a very close eye on. Something Celine is very much aware of, because she knows exactly who her employees are; that it’s thanks to them that her son can go to college. Train to be that lawyer.
“Crispy bacon?” Celine asks as she dishes up my eggs.
“As crispy as you can get it, please.” My phone ringing is an irritation I can do without, my food’s almost ready. But it’s Lucca, so I answer it. “Yes?”
“Jimmy Golden – we need to sit him down and get a few things straight.”
“Why? Is he becoming a problem?”
I’ve always thought of him as weak – Detective Jimmy Golden; thought we could’ve made a much wiser choice, but at the time he was approached by the cartel he was in the weakest position, his gambling debts growing. We were his way out. And I’d trusted Javier, because at the time I was just his wife. I didn’t get to make those decisions, but now I’m in charge, and if Jimmy can’t take what we throw at him…
“I had a call from him this morning. He’s nervous, about the Pino hit.”
“Nervous?”
I take the plate of food Celine hands me and go out onto the terrace, sitting down at the table as I listen to what Lucca’s telling me.
“Set up a meeting. I’ll talk to him. And make it on his turf. If he sees me on his territory it might focus his mind.”
“When do you want that to happen?”
“This afternoon.”
“Today?”
“Yes, Lucca, today. Pick me up in an hour.”
I hang up and start eating the wonderfully creamy scrambled eggs Celine has made for me as I look out over the ocean; at Javier’s chair underneath his favorite tree, and I smile. I can still picture him sitting under that tree, with his glasses perched on the end of his nose as he read the newspapers. It was the one spot where business was forgotten and he could truly relax. When he sat there he was my husband, not the head of a dangerous cartel.
As soon as my plate is cleared I pick it up, and go back into the kitchen. I stay for a few more minutes, chat to Celine for a little while longer, and then I head upstairs. I need to get ready, apply that mask, and quickly get my head back to where it needs to be. I have work to do.
Seven
Lucca
“This is bullshit, and you know it.”
“I find your take on this situation interesting, Jimmy, because I’m seeing it from a whole other angle.”
Standing at the back of Jimmy’s office I watch as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat. To have Olivia Delgado walk into the precinct, like it’s something she does every day, and ask to see him, in private, of course it’s unsettled him. And put every other officer, chief and detective on red fucking alert. They have absolutely nothing on us that they can use, but it won’t stop them from watching in some vain attempt to try and trip us up. But do they honestly think we would’ve come here if we didn’t think we would walk out the winners?
“I can’t believe you fucking walked in here like that, do you want to get arrested?”
“They can’t arrest me if they have nothing on me, Jimmy. And that, I have to say, is in part thanks to you.”
“It’s more a case of doing a
s I’m told rather than through any sense of loyalty.”
“And that’s where we have the problem.”
Olivia sits back and crosses her legs, but her eyes never leave Jimmy’s.
“What problem?” Jimmy asks, but he already knows the answer to that.
“Your growing nerves. Maybe you’ve always been nervous and just chose to hide it, but, you see, that’s something I’m really not comfortable with. That makes me nervous, and right now that’s the last thing I want, or need, to be feeling.”
“Jesus… Do you still not understand how dangerous it is for you to walk in here and ask for me? Do you understand the position that’s put me in? The questions people are going to ask? If anyone out there finds out that I’m working for you; that I’m on your fucking payroll, that’s the end of my career. My marriage would be over. Do you get that?”
Olivia leans forward, her hand balling up into a fist on his desk, her eyes still fixed firmly on his, and that’s making him visibly uncomfortable. “You came into this with your eyes open, Jimmy.”
“You gave me no fucking choice.”
She sits back and shrugs, smiling slightly. “Maybe not. But you accepted our offer and I assumed you’d understood the rules.”
“I did… Do.”
“So, why are we sitting here now, talking about you getting nervous?”
“Because out there they are trying their fucking hardest to put you away; to bring the cartel down, you and the bikers, and you know that, Olivia. You know that, and yet, you still walk in here like you aren’t the crazy bitch you absolutely are.”
I take a breath at that point, and watch as Olivia’s expression changes, but she doesn’t get angry. She’s cleverer than that, she knows she has to keep her cool, no matter how hard Jimmy pushes her. And he’s pushing, but he won’t win this. I have no idea what makes him think he can.
“And you really don’t want to get on the wrong side of this crazy bitch, Jimmy, I promise you that.”
“I want out.”
Olivia laughs and shakes her head, casting a quick glance in my direction. I just shrug.
“You want out?” Her eyes are back on Jimmy now, and I actually pity the poor fucker. He’s got no idea what the hell he’s doing here, I honestly thought he was smarter than this.
“Yes. I want out. I should never have said yes in the first place.”
“So, you stay with us long enough to make sure the bulk of your debts are paid off, your house is safe, and your wife knows nothing of the shit you got yourself into, or who you’ve aligned yourself with, and now you think you can just walk away?”
He sits back and crosses his arms, a slight smirk crossing his face, and if I were him I’d wipe that smug look away. Quickly.
“What’s stopping me? The shit I have on you, Olivia – on all of you, what’s stopping me from walking out of this room and telling Hawkins everything?”
“Nothing. There’s nothing stopping you. You want out? Okay. You’re out.”
He frowns. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.” She pushes her chair back and stands up. “Thank you for everything you’ve done, Jimmy. I’m sorry to see you go.”
He looks confused, and I just smile at him as I open the door and follow Olivia out. Every eye in the room is on us, of course, the frustration that they have no reason to stop us is palpable, I can feel it. So much so that once we’re outside I can’t help laughing. We’re always a few steps ahead of them, and that’s what pisses them off.
“You called his bluff.” I lean back against the car and light up a cigarette, taking a drag before I hand it to Olivia.
“He chose his own fate.”
“You don’t think he’ll carry out his threat?”
“Do you?” She opens the passenger door and climbs inside.
“If he tells them anything, he also implicates himself.”
“Exactly.” She turns her head to look at me. “You know what we have to do now.”
I nod and start the engine.
“Unfinished business, Lucca. I’ve had enough of it.”
“I’ll deal with this.”
“Good.”
She turns her head away and stares out of the window. “We’ll need someone else in place. Soon.”
“Leave that to me.”
“Thank you.”
She still doesn’t look at me, and there’s a tension in the air that hasn’t been there before, not between us. Never between us. Until now.
“Do you want to go somewhere for lunch?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood. “I’m sure Gil’s will open up a table if we let them know we’re coming. Or, we could go to The Garden. We’ll definitely get a table at one of our own restaurants.”
I was hoping for a smile, but I don’t get one.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Have you eaten anything today?”
“Have you?” She finally looks at me, and for a brief moment our eyes lock, but in a heartbeat she’s turned away again. And the moment is gone. “Let’s go home. It’s the only place I really want to be right now.”
Olivia
As soon as Lucca pulls up outside the house I jump out of the car and practically run inside, heading straight upstairs. I want to get out of these clothes, take off this mask, and for a moment or two remember the girl I used to be; escape from the woman this world turned me into, just for a little while.
“Olivia!”
I can hear him calling me, but he’s the one I’m running from, if truth be told. And as soon as I reach my room I close and lock the door behind me, change into jeans and a T-shirt, and wash the make-up from my face. Staring back at me from the mirror now is an older version of who I once was. A tired version. There are more lines around my eyes, eyes that are filled with more sadness than I care to admit, as well as a fear I’m trying to ignore.
And a love you’re trying not to acknowledge…
“Olivia? Are you okay?”
He’s outside the door, because of course he was going to follow me. Of course he was.
“I’m fine!” I shout through from the bathroom. I don’t want to see him, I don’t want to see anybody, but especially not him. Not right now, I need to be alone.
“Open the door, Olivia, come on. I just want to make sure you’re alright.”
“I said I’m fine, Lucca.”
“If you need to talk…”
Throwing my head back and sighing heavily I leave the bathroom and reluctantly open the bedroom door. “You think I need to talk?”
“Can I come in?”
“No.”
He leans against the doorpost and crosses his arms, his ice-blue eyes locking on mine. “You’re not okay, Olivia.”
“I’m not sure it’s in your job description to assume how I’m feeling. And you standing here is only wasting time we can ill afford to let pass. There are things you need to be dealing with, remember? Urgent things. And I’m not one of them.”
“Everything can wait five minutes.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Can it? Go do your job, Lucca.”
I kick the door shut in his face, flicking the lock and leaning back against it, closing my eyes and breathing in deep.
He’s right.
I’m not okay.
But I have to be.
I have to be…
Lucca
Accepting something is one thing, but dealing with it is a whole other complication. A dangerous one, and I have no business even thinking about it. It should be pushed to the darkest corner of my mind and remain there, it shouldn’t ever see the light of day. But knowing that, and actually undertaking it are two completely different things. And I’m struggling. For the first time in my fucked-up life I’m struggling.
“You got eyes on him?”
I’m on the phone to one of our most trusted Sicarios. A man I know can deal with our “problem” without any fuss – cleanly, carefully, and
with no blowback on the cartel. I’ve explained what we need, it’ll be over before the day is out. Another problem solved. But there are still a shit-load more to deal with.
“Yeah. He’s still inside, but it looks like he’s getting ready to leave.”
“Is he alone?”
“Looks like it.”
“Let me know when it’s done.”
I hang up and sit back, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, and that’s a nervous action on my part. For the first time in a long time I have no idea what the fuck to do next. Where to go. What to think.
I call Olivia, but her phone goes straight to voicemail, which pisses me off, she knows that kind of shit isn’t right. She shouldn’t do that, and the fact she has only makes me even more nervous. And I know this is a mind-fuck of a day, but she isn’t the only one who’s trying to get their head around all kinds of confusing crap. She isn’t the only fucking one.
Starting the car back up I drive toward the Devil’s Creed compound, waiting until the huge steel gates open up to let me inside, closing behind me the second I’m through.
“Something up?”
It doesn’t help that the first person I see is Angel Ruiz, but at least he’s here and not with Olivia. Looks like she meant what she said when she told me sleeping with him was a one off. Never to be repeated. She should never have gone there in the first place.
I ignore his question, because how I’m feeling is none of his fucking business, and I’m guessing my expression’s telling him that as he holds his hands up and steps back.
“Hey, okay, I get it. I was just asking.”
I’m the one on the defensive here, I know that, but just seeing his face is making me agitated.
“Come on, I’ll get you a beer. Looks like you could do with one.”
Can’t argue with him on that one. “Yeah. I could.”
I follow him inside, into the clubhouse, the smell of whiskey, weed and engine oil hanging heavy in the air, loud rock music only adding to the dark and somewhat dangerous atmosphere. But these are surroundings I’m more than familiar with, I was a part of their world for a long time.
Beautiful Dangerous Page 10